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-   -   Shit Heard Around this House!! (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2496)

Jess 12-27-2010 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918 (Post 253224)
During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...

Me: "Its clear this way."

Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway"

Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive!


another not so shiny Codger driving moment during said trip...

nearing 11:45 PM on nearly desolate I 77 when we meet oncoming traffic..

Her: Honey, you have your brights on

Me: Really? I knew I was seeing awfully good! :sunglass:

:byebye:

shadows papa 12-27-2010 10:41 PM

I cleaned Miss Pink's bathroom today and we are talking about it...

Me: I'm pretty clean even though sometimes I may have a Stinky Boi butt!

Miss Pink: I've never smelled your butt....

I decided I had best leave the room THEN and THERE!

Words 12-28-2010 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918 (Post 254203)
Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"

:dance2:

Ha!

Love it.

Words

christie 12-28-2010 01:16 PM

I can be funny - even at work:

One of my employees saw me heading to my office with a broom.

Her: "Whatcha gonna do with that?"

Me: "Take it for a ride... what do you THINK I am gonna do with it?!?!?!?"

shadows papa 12-28-2010 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918 (Post 254803)
I can be funny - even at work:

One of my employees saw me heading to my office with a broom.

Her: "Whatcha gonna do with that?"

Me: "Take it for a ride... what do you THINK I am gonna do with it?!?!?!?"


Was it that rocket-powered SuperTurbo charged model I sent ya??? :nyahnyah:

Words 12-28-2010 02:11 PM

Me, last night, whilst Hy was bending in front of me (again) to stoke the fire.

''I'm really going to miss that in the summer.''

Hym. ''I know, it's great that we have a real fire.''

Me. ''I meant the view of Your butt, not the fire.''

I actually will miss it. It's not often I get that kind of close up.

*Smile*

Words

durrrrrrrr 12-28-2010 05:45 PM

playing a card game with the family

my sister: "you have to have good cards to win the game

me as I'm looking over at her: no shit??

scootebaby 12-28-2010 05:56 PM

walking thru the house during day noticing pine needles from tree all over place..poor tree beaten down...finally heading to bed....laying there watching tv as the kittens from hell are romping all over the place

Me: who's idea was it to get those damn kittens?
Jo: yours dear
Me: well next time tell me no dammit!

Kenna 12-29-2010 09:01 PM

I'm curled up on the couch, mindin' my own business and my roomie came to the hallway door and proceeded to look at me funny...

Me: What's wrong?
Blade: I'm waiting.
Me: What'ya waiting for?
Blade: We still have some snow left.
Me: Yeah.... AND?
Blade: We still have some snow left and I'm waiting.
Me: Yeah..... most of it has turned all muddy. WHAT are you waiting on.
Blade: To see naked snow angels!
Me: Well? Why don't you get naked and go make some snow angels?
Blade: *huff*

(that didn't exactly work out for him the way he planned *evil grin*)

Gemme 12-29-2010 09:04 PM

Clarification: "Murder is NOT playing nice!"

shadows papa 12-29-2010 09:33 PM

Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"

Jess 12-30-2010 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadows papa (Post 255837)
Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"


Oh hell... that literally made me laugh really loud! HA!

JustJo 12-30-2010 11:43 AM

Having just picked up the mail...
 
Scoote: Honey, you got something from Home Depot...

Jo: Oh, it's the credit card...so we could get the zero interest on the patio furniture...

Scoote: We have a Home Depot credit card???

Jo: Yep

Scoote: Damn...I wish I was more butch...

:blink:

Jess 12-30-2010 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo (Post 256186)
Scoote: Honey, you got something from Home Depot...

Jo: Oh, it's the credit card...so we could get the zero interest on the patio furniture...

Scoote: We have a Home Depot credit card???

Jo: Yep

Scoote: Damn...I wish I was more butch...

:blink:


LOL! Were that convo to take place here.. it would be me saying " Damn, we have a patio?".. to which she would respond " yes, the one you are going to use this credit card to build".. argh.. the joys of homebuilding!

Kenna 01-01-2011 08:47 PM

while grocery shopping for fresh veggies....
 
Blade: What's sha...sha...shit Take mushrooms?
Me: :| huh?
Blade: What's shit Take mushrooms?
Me: :superfunny: You mean Shiitake! You goof!

shadows papa 01-02-2011 09:24 AM

Me and Miss Pink sitting in the living room replying to each other in the "Song Title Quiz" thread....

Me: I'm stalking you,I gots one for ya!

Miss Pink: Whatcha got, cos you AIN"T TALKIN' ABOUT LOVE

Me: I got a GOOD ONE for ya!

Miss Pink: Whatcha got big boi??

Me: Yanno we could save ourselves a LOT of typing and just duel this out right here! :byebye:

It doesn't take a lot to amuse us at 9:30 on a Sunday morning!

Kenna 01-02-2011 12:47 PM

While watching Blade prepare to marinade homemade beef jerky
 
Me: (speaking to Skippy Dippy the chihuahua begging for treats at his Daddy's feet....) Your Daddy's being fastidious about that.
Blade: What? :blink: huh?
Me: You're being fastidious about how you arrange that beef in the bowl.
Blade: What's that mean?
Me: You tell me. You posted it as your Word Of The Day a few days ago. :cheesy:

Gemme 01-04-2011 10:07 PM

While in the car, a song came on the radio. I began to sing a little bit and Ebon just shook his head. As we pulled into our parking spot, he says, "Now, why would someone want to do that and sing like Eminem?"

I said, "Because it IS Eminem".

:blink:

JustJo 01-05-2011 09:39 AM

Heard on a work conference call...
 
I'm on the phone with my teammates and, in a lighter moment, we're talking about New Year's resolutions...

Jo: I've resolved that I'm going to measure out a good 4 mile walk for myself and get back to it...the dog and I both need it and I haven't been getting my daily walk since I moved to Florida.

co-worker: But aren't there alligators where you are now?

Jo: Well, there probably are some in the canals, but I haven't seen one yet.

co-worker: How big is your dog? Could he outrun an alligator? Or could you pick him up and run if you saw one?

Jo: He's a mini-dachshund...if we see an alligator I'll be grabbing him and taking up running like *** (another co-worker and his resolution)

Team laughs (probably at the image of me running :giggle: )

co-worker: OMG Jo...do you realize you're going to be walking 4 miles a day with bait?!?!?!?

Gemme 01-06-2011 05:49 PM

Me: I'm at lunch! I have soda! Weeee!

Ebon: We we weeeeeeeeee! Enjoy your soda. I'm about to start work. Yaaay!!! Do you have some actual food too?

Me: Pbj. Banana. Reeses cup.

Ebon: Lunch of champions.

Me: Rice cake too! I get to go on a field trip!

Ebon: Where to? Sounds like fun!

Me: The BANK!!! Guess where it is.

Ebon: Mayner?

(The town is spelled Manor, but they pronounce it like May--ner, so we make fun of it all the time. It's like a dirty, gritty Aunt Bea-less Mayberry.)

Me: Flippin' right, it is! And I'll have to go there EVERY night I close the store from this Saturday on. Lucky! Did I mention I had soda? :blink:


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