''Wow! You look so much thinner in the photos you've sent to me online.''

Well, I thought I was out on a lunch date, and she certainly presented as very butch... until she said she didn't approve of homosexuality.

LMAO AT THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is exactly why I totally like you . Perfect

Dang no wonder that one girl never answered my call that next Sunday many years ago.
Makes sence now !!!!!!!! ;)

Absolutely hysterical!

oh yeah. She had taken me to see a light show and we had gotten a bit stoned. I needed to pee really bad and we had already left the building and it was closing, which was in a park. Ish. sorta. So I said "I'm just going to nip into those low shrubs and take a wiz. can you keep look out for me?" Sure np, she turns around and watches I try not to pee on my foot and I shifted over a couple of times, as ya do, to avoid wet-foot, and I grabbed my knickers and jeans and stood up really fast and the top of my head collided with a tree branch and I knock myself out for a couple seconds, she was just about to grab me when I woke up. Knocked out in the pee dirt with my knickers around my thighs. Super Classy. I then threw up.

she had to take me to the hospital and she sat with me all night.

honeybarbara, that is hilarious!

LOL! Thanks, I needed that laugh.
:)

no worries. I have quite a few of those stories.... you'd never be able to tell I went to finishing school. sheesh.

I love people who can laugh at themselves. it's sexy. making fun of one's self takes being at ease with yourself. It's why people can have the piss ripped out of them by their mates and LAUGH instead of getting offended.
It's pretty UK humour as well. If you can't laugh at yourself for being a twat when you are one... I don't think I'd want a date with that person. It's better, in my books to make a joke about something hard and upsetting so I can let go of it and laugh, instead of getting all mopped up in it and sobbing into my hankie. I love it when people make inappropriate jokes if I'm crying about something.

self deprecating humour lets me laugh at myself... and everyone else :p

Lmao this is too funny
The whole thead is too.

What was your reaction when she said that ?

Years ago I met someone at the local queer bar that I really got along with,I thought it was gret she understood the bf life.We had many things in common,we both were extroverts so it was like magic....tilllll.Yes till I was haveing a summer bbq with several of my friends so she could meet them.Come to find out she was my bestfriends wifes ex,that they had a ten year relationship then broke up with a really bad break up.When they saw each other it was like two cats threatning to kill eachother,she said 'I didnt know u knew her'.Finaly my friend got her wife to calm down,I got her to calm down but I promiss that the sothern summer bbq was a hard sell with people doing there best to pretend nothing had happened.I did contenue to date her for a couple of years but over bith if us found other intrest,me with a new job that took lots of days of my time and she wanted travel.

just being silly.......couldn't resist
 

here hold my teeth while I gum your tummy

The proper statement would be I don't wear underwear :) kidding

"Oh. I thought we were on a date.

Nevermind."

Email after date (no phone call of course, too labor intensive ).

If you want to have another date email me back, if not that's fine, I enjoyed meeting you, have a great life.

I didn't answer, multiple reasons including bad hygiene, manners, and monologue.(

The onslaught of emails became increasingly hostile and ugly continued for weeks.

Autonomy is priceless. (f)

you can dodge bullets while standing still!! :D

I usually accept the email or text "thanks for the date/sex/visit to the emerg" as there are so many people with phone phobias/discomforts. And for thank yous I figure texts are the new tech equiv of a note.

I don't think I've actually ever gotten a phone call "thanks for the ____" since about 2003...

Lmao dang I wish I were able to get a ring side seat for that one .