I don't particularly care for long, manicured nails...but I MUST have my toenails painted and I have been known to do yard work without a top on.

I'm not big on softball talk but if someone wants to discuss periods or other bodily functions I AM SO THERE!!

I'm sorry - I missed it when you gave your address.. could you repeat it?

Jullie - I love love love this line "And sometimes... We have to blow up the fairy tale, just to keep them safe."

re:
 

"It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.
__________________
~Vonni~"

No worries Vonni. If posting requires that I sit for three hours making sure the semantics are correct, I'll gladly miss out.

tawse, that looks like a UT orange colored mustang in your profile pic ... no? LOL

just joking with you lol.

i need to know what every femme should know, ... for the sake of the mercy rule. and for mercy's sake!

(i know what you are thinking. she's from mississippi and that means something lol.)

Hi Vonni. Welcome to the site. I wanted to address some of the things you are talking about here. I know it is hard to jump in and start posting. One thing you mention is diversity. You are right that there is a lot of diversity here and it is part of what makes it so fun to read and post! I learn things all the time here.

On the dash site someone started a fun thread about OCD. At least that is what they though they were doing. I have OCD and so of course I was interested and went in to read it. It was actually not about OCD. It was about joking about being extra clean or particular about certain things. I wasn't offended but did want to post that for some people these quirks were'nt funny and actually were debilitating, scary and difficult to deal with. The OP pretty much called me a buzzkill. I was bumming people out. They suggested I go read something else or stay out of the thread.

I wasn't trying to cause problems or make a fuss. I wanted to suggest that maybe the thread not be called OCD but something else. I wanted to let people know that it might not be funny to everyone.

I am telling this story to illustrate that posting things and having others disagree or challenge what you are saying is the diversity that makes this site and others like it so great. Sometimes people may not be nice about it. One person's "nice" might be someone else's mean. I think it is ok to address someone and let them know that you are uncomfortable with what they have said or even how they have said it. That seems to be how things work on forums.

As far as the OP and this thread it seems like people have posted how they feel as femmes and are showing the diversity here.

I never saw the OP's intentions ever being the center of discussion in this thread.

I also think who is considered rude is going to vary depending on whose perception it is.

Me too. It's tiresome,inhibiting, & boring.
I'll reserve my life's lessons for real life experiences instead of getting schooled online by wannabe cyber life coaches.

I miss the days where being specific about context and meaning and fucking language was something of value and not me being a big meaniehead.

booooooo :(

YES It is! and you want to hear what's worse? My interior dash lights are soft blue.

Believe we when I say I STRUGGLE with this.. lol at least once a month. If ONLY Tennessee WAS NOT Tennessee - I could obsess freely.. but as is I make sure I put a LOT of magnets on the Stang when we go to the UGA vs UT games. And even then I'm nervous...


lol

signed,

Torn between the love of a color and the hate of a rival

http://shop.blackpoolfc.co.uk/catalo...ult-home-shirt

Go the Seasiders!!

Is this still the "what every femme should know thread"?

Cars, interior blue lights Tawse & Incubus? You know I love both of you ( in a sister sort of way) but really guys!

:|

LOL On my Pinterest page - I have a bunch of Grabber Orange Cars!! :D lol


And Anya - MUAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA welcome to the long and meandering path.. and be honest. EVERY femme wants to hear about cars and sports. It's common knowledge ;)

How about posting your car in the car gallery? I'd love to see a larger picture.

Hey, Anya. I think because this is actually in the Quotes, Snippets, and Other Writing and was actually only meant to be brief quote from the OP and not a discussion on "what every femme should know", people are feeling free to just blab. Meaning, since the thread already moved away from its original purpose (which was not a discussion thread), it is undefined :)

Good try Dapper.

<<<Doesn't even drive

:bicycle:

What every femme should know.

Humour the chaps once in a while :groucho:



:p

Sometimes, that's the whole point.

This coming from someone who's been in the car as well as the cab.

:cheesy:

Crap.

You all fussed so long and so much that the page that this was referencing is too far back for me to figure out what in the Hell I was addressing for Quirky.

I'll have to check it again and come back to finish my thought.

Hi, Vonni!

Posting in emotionally charged threads CAN be daunting for those who are new to this particular group of people. It would be so easy if everyone who ever got upset would put their big boy/girl shorts/panties/etc on and either walked away or dealt with things in an 'adult' manner. Some of the time, we do. Sometimes, we don't. We're all human and all of us have different spheres of reference from which to draw.

So, don't lose faith or think poorly of us. We get it right more days than we get it wrong.

Exactly. Perception is key.

Ebon and I can be the biggest, most hateful, sexist asses to one another but it's okay. Because it's coming from us and we know us. Many a time, we've made our friends cringe from the things we say to one another.

I'm going to let you in a secret that I've learned a few years ago. Never do I post without reading not only the first couple of posts, to see what the intention of the thread is, but I then jump to the last page and read the last few posts to see what the thread has actually turned into.

It just seems to me that you saw the heading and posted. It's not the end of the world!

For the record, I used to love gels and like the handpainting of the gel coating. I like manicures. I love having my toes done too and they are almost NEVER the same color as my fingers. Because I can.

Also for the record, I do maintenance on my golf carts at work as well as climbing ladders and taking down and installing 8-9 foot lighting bulbs. I don't do it because it's fun and I am quite afraid of, not so much the height, but the hard landing should I fall. But I do it. Because I can.

Also also for the record, I feel most comfy in jeans and a shirt that makes my breasts look bigger. I wasn't blessed with an ample bosom, so I'm making lemonade out of this batch of lemons I have (extra weight). It just so happens that the best clothing for this is maternity clothing. My current favorite pair of jeans are maternity and they hug my hips in a delicous manner. Because I can.

Also also also for the record, I am the epitome of Gemini, but I am often clumsy and/or careless with my words. But I think that everyone can understand when I say that I am femme. Not the 'every' kind of femme, but the 'only' kind of femme I can be. I like and do the things that I do, sometimes because I am femme and sometimes because I am me. I can do things that aren't 'femme' and I'm still 'me' while doing them but find no joy in doing things just to 'be' femme if it's not 'me'. I enjoy things that 'some' femmes enjoy but not 'all' femmes. Not 'all' femmes enjoy the things that 'I' enjoy.

Quantified expressions are hard to handle sometimes. It's good for us all to have a reminder that we ALL speak from our 'me, myself, I' place. Things get hinky when folks start talking from the viewpoint of others. That's not good.

I love that we can have multiple discussions and multiple viewpoints going on within the same thread at the same time. It's makes my Gemini multi-tasking heart beat a little faster.

However, I thought that the dialogue between Kobi and Julie went really well. It felt like a real time discussion in which they hashed things out and really LISTENED to one another. Is it really so bad to wish that that happened more often?

I simultaneously want to cheer and grab a protractor after reading this...

:bowdown: :seeingstars:

???? I'm confused by your response.

People aren't "staying on topic" (so to speak) because the purpose of the thread was not stated in the opening post. The opening post was just a quote. The section this thread is in is the "Art, Poetry, and Writing" section. That is all I was saying. What did you think I was saying here?

Wow!

Several people have encouraged me to post my writings here.

I don't think I will.

I write what I feel, how I feel it, when I feel it and why I feel it.

When I write, I don't write for everyone, and my writing will not please everyone, nor will it "fit" everyone.

I wrote a poem about myself entitled "Lissa's song"

It is a very personal, very self promoting song (in so much as it speaks to the content of my soul)

No way in HELL would I feel comfortable posting something here, in the POETRY, WRITING... section, knowing that

A) someone may be offended because I say "I bask in the rays of the sun and dance in the light of her sister, moon"... because obviously, the sun isn't female or male, and neither is the moon.

B) someone would think nothing of taking that "offense" and decimating something as personal as MY own feelings about how I feel. No thanks.

C) if poetry, stories, how people feel about themselves and about someone or "generic" all, can and will be decisively polarizing, why bother?

Can we not see poetry as someone's inner beauty shining through?

Are we so "frightened" of the "male" dominated world that we take offense at someone's feelings that may or may not reflect poorly or richly on themselves or someone else?

Confusing? Yep! Thats the way I felt when I read this thread, confused as HELL!


The dialogue between Kobi and Julie helped, but speaking as someone who often puts my feelings "out there" I could definitely feel WHY the OP felt attacked. Was that the intent? For some, obviously not. For other's... well lets just say that I felt like there were some who wanted to cause chaos, hard feelings, and some who just wanted to stand on a soap box and beat their own chest.

Do we not get enough of that from the "outside" world? Should we not all stand together as a COMMUNITY of beautifully diverse people, regardless of IDs and isms?

Ever heard the phrase, you get more bee's with honey?

"Hey, dude, Jist, please correct your "what EVERY femme should know" title, it may be offensive to some.

OR.. PEOPLE, this is a POETRY, WRITING post.

How about, ASKING the OP what he meant by "EVERY" femme, instead of INSTANTLY believing that he obviously MEANT every femme and so he MUST be SEXIST or what the fuck ever that M word is!

There are so many blasted labels here, that I am tempted to start mentally slapping labels on everyone I meet.

People say that "Jist" or anyone else who takes offense at words, should put their big girl panties on.

Guess what? Quit trying to dress other people while you're standing there NEKKID!

Had YOU put your big girl panties on and ASKED simple questions instead of getting ALL OFFENDED at what was a SWEET POEM, maybe this would have been a much nicer read!

Don't ever speak for me. Ever! I didn't find this POEM any of those things and I can assure you that I am NOT some "female-feeble minded" woman! I didn't feel degraded, I didn't feel patronized and I sure as hell didn't feel that this was in any way "heteronormative". What the hell kind of word is that anyway? Am I "heteronormative" because I want to be married, I want to be a "submissive" wife to a butch woman who can lead the household because that is what I believe to be right for me?? Then I guess along with "femme, lesbian, and homosexual and gay, add THAT label to my lapel as well. No label and no one's thoughts or idea's threaten me nor how I identify, not only on an online forum, but in my life.

In my life I have been degraded (by a woman) I have been raped (by a woman) I have been marginilized (by a woman) and I have been patronized (by a woman). Does that mean all women SUCK? Nope. But by the theory or thought process here, I SHOULD think all women suck, because thus far, that is all I have found. No, instead I realize that women, like any other faction of society, differs, sometimes hugely, and while ALL X chromosonal people are biologically "female" not all of them are bitches, psychotic, sexist, patronizing, degrading, raping people.

Interesting how one comes about understanding that, isn't it?

I will put here, these are MY thoughts, opinions and whatnot. And I LIKED the OP's original post and just because I LIKED it, doesnt mean that I am weak, or that I am a simpering fool, or that I need to be validated by someone else nor does it mean that I am so cowed by the "heteronomrmative" standards that I can't see the forest for the tree's. it means that in that POEM, I saw beauty, I saw love, I saw affection and while it may be idealistic, maybe even overly mushy, I saw someone putting their heart on their sleeve. That's more than most ever say or do.

Whose woods these are, I think I know, his house is in the village though, he will not see me stopping here to watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer..... "Robert Frost"

Discect/analyze/criticize that. He said "queer" he must be homophobic! (SARCASM ALERT!)

Put personal thoughts, idea's and emotions on here to be analyzed, dissected, made fun of, made light of or even looked down on?


No thanks.

yotlyolqualli
 

Usually when someone says "every," it doesn't require a lot of interpretation.

"Heteronormative" is acting in a way that is stereotypical of heterosexual couples.

The op's quote is attributed to Nicholas Sparks, a bastion of heterosexual luv.:praying:

Part of femme invisibility is the constant assumption that we act (or are) just like straight women. Some of us relish that role because it fits who we are. Some of us don't. Many of us get cranky when we are yet again expected to fall in line with a quote usurped from the straight community and "applied" to us.

I, personally, have a problem with not giving credit to the author of the quote, but I'm persnickety.

As far as posting your own stuff, you might check out other writing threads and see the comments. It's hard to put your stuff out there. Good luck!

What this femme should know
 

No one can read my mind - no more thinking that just because someone doesn't do what I think, they should do it anyway because if they love me they would know what it is that I need them to do, without me telling them what it is that I need.

This femme should know I am my own best friend and I should never think anyone's opinion of how I look, dress, or feel is more important than my own.

I This femme knows it is not the responsibilty of anyone else to make me happy - and it is so wonderful to have a partner who supports me being the happiest, healthiest me I can be and thinks I'm damn cute doing it.

This femme knows she can completely give herself to another and she will always have the right to change her mind. She loves getting lost in another, but there is always a trail of bread crumbs so she can always come back home to self.