|
never cheat
if they lie within the first week keep walking if they make promises that you know can't happen don't wait for them to if you do leave never look back, don't go back there was a reason you left don't go to bed angry it isn't worth the sleepless night think before you react money isn't everything and it doesn't buy happiness |
Don't go back
absolutely true....walking away is VERY hard to do but, in the end self-preservation of mind, soul, & spirit is what you HAVE to do.....you're the ONLY one responsible for your happiness & sanity. Hurt like hell or not......walk away & move forward !
|
Don't forget your dreams trying to help them reach theirs.
Ultimately, it is your life, whether or not you share it with another, so do what you need in order to be happy. |
I've learned, before you get too involved, to choose wisely when you learn what their visions and goals are for their future, because you will become a part of that.
I've also learned if you leave them alone too long, they will be gone. |
Beware of walls and deception
I've learned to steer clear of brickmasons, someone who builds brick walls. If I have to climb a brick wall take a few strides and climb another hurdle get almost to the top and falter. I've taken two steps back and have to begin climbing again. For some it's a never ending process. You might have a long term relationship but a person who builds walls, and you accept that in them, will always build walls. Relationships should have boundaries not walls.
Deception, well that speaks for itself. I'm a trusting soul until I'm not. I'll even give someone several chances to right themselves. Once I put all the pieces together and figure out the game, I'm done. This works equally in romance, friendship, coworkers. "Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive" |
I learned that lies of omission are still lies.
I've learned to cut my losses, no matter how difficult. I've learned to think/see thru the facade. I've learned that if I'm expected to make sacrifices to be with him, he should be willing to make some too. I've learned to value myself by the same standard (or better than) he had for himself. I've learned to let go. I've learned that not everyone is who they portray themselves to be, online and in real time. I've learned to take responsibility for my part in things and be honest about it. I've learned not everyone thinks like me regarding all the above. |
At least half the disfunction was MY issues....
|
Quote:
|
Communication is important. If you feel as though you are losing, or have lost, your voice, speak up. The other person can't read your mind and nobody is going to speak for you...
|
...... that somtimes 2 GPS 's are better then1 ........ lol :) |
what i learned
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EljfrMHoYr...0/1candlee.gif
"it is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness" Confucius |
Every journey has its stepping stones...step for the good...
|
Have sex. And often. Very. If you can predict when and how and how long, there is something wrong.
|
there is no such thing as too many of his kisses
|
what I have learned
If something seems like it's not right, it probably isn't.
|
~if it doesnt feel right, there's a reason ~if there is not a plausible explanation for things, there is a reason ~if things change and not in a good way, there is a reason ~you have gut feelings, for a reason ~not trusting your gut is self defeating Those I have noticed. What I have learned is, my natural curiosity aside, the reasons behind any of those seldom matter. Ignoring any of them guarantees they will come back to bite you in the hiney. |
I am still freshly single- what I've learned so far is
-I Loved with all my heart-but my heart cannot get through closed doors -I learned just because it didn't work out doesn't mean I did anything wrong -I am learning some days are better than other and she still sneaks into me by surprise and that may take along time to heal -I learned that I am capable a loving immensely -I learned what sacrifices can be endured out of Love -I am learning no matter what I think - I cant think my pain away - I am learning how not to go run amuck to try to fix and shut out the pain, I can feel it and it will go away. -I am learning-I HURT just as deeply as I loved and it's very draining -I learned I dont have to stop loving others EVER. |
Communication is paramount.
If that first kiss doesn't spark something for both of you, chances are there will be nothing. I am sure there is much more....just what I learned from the last short lived one. :vigil: |
The most important thing that I have ever learnt from my last breakup which was three years ago is to love myself more than to love anyone else. I have learnt that I should have some self-respect and do not be so gullible when it comes to love because people can change fast, so does the heart. I have also learnt that what doesn't kill me makes me strong and I should be thankful for the breakup as it has made a stronger and better person. I have learnt to let go if they refuse to stay, because you can never hold on to something that does not belong to you anymore. I have learnt that you can't make someone loves you if they don't feel the same way.. and I have learnt that I should prioritise my own needs and goals to gain happiness and attain success...
I have learnt that a breakup doesn't mean it's the end of the world.. |
What have I learned?
Most recently, I learned that I deserve to be more than just an option...I deserve to be the only one. Before that, I learned that I will not be held captive by guilt, chemical dependency, and no one will put their hands on me in anger and not pay a price. Along my journey, I have learned many valuable lessons, many of which I cannot directly identify individually because they have become such an integral part of who I am today. What I can say is that I am a better person now because of the lessons learned along the way. I hope that in some way, I have left each person I have had a relationship with a little better, too. MamaBear |
What I have learned !
I have learned that your words can break a heart . I am not all the mean things you called me ! But , I already knew that .. When you omitted information it always came back at us. Nothing is ever perfect but that's ok. You are your own worst enemy . No amount of love is enough sometimes . If you want real communication you need to listen to WHAT the person is saying . A BROKEN HEART is like a broken promise. But that's ok because what doesn't kill us will teach us very Valuable Lessons . Thank You ! Xoxo |
Learned
1) You will love again.2) Walk away and wish them the best.3) Never look back.4) Take care of yourself.5) Give yourself time to heal.
|
~ that I can choose to focus on the good or the bad. Focusing on the good seems to come from a position of strength. Focusing on the bad, from a position of weakness. ~ every woman has taught me some important things about living, loving, communication, and the art of relationships. ~ that different people bring out different parts of me and discovering new and unknown things is kind of exciting. ~ actions still speak louder than words ~ setting limits and boundaries still comes from love and caring |
Listen to friends
Don't put so much of urself out there Try to be understanding Don't forget that your are important too Don't count on promises Stay independant Remember there were good times Focus on new beginnings Forgive~ |
love what you have, learn to look at things you consider negative in a different way..love doesn't necessarily mean you are bookends..the universe gives each of us what we need..find your destiny
|
I have learned that sometimes becoming isolated is what you need to really understand who you are and what is important to you in your life.
I have learned to always always embrace who you are completely and find time for the little things to indulge in. I have learned that you simply cannot please somebody and giving them contol will only result in losing yourself. I have learned to be free and to trust in my confidence and ability to follow my dreams, to float above my path. I have learned that life and love goes on. |
My most recent epiphany is that one reason being apart a better part of the last 3 yrs of our relationship before it ended was that I could have Love without compromising my time...I was able to keep my life intact.undisturbed
I recognize this because when anyone upsets the current delicate balance I am used to I tend to become easily irritated and feel like their being invasive. Its honest...Oh course part of that may be taking 6 six classes and working and any distraction takes me from what I need to do then I get anxious... Hmmmm dilemma's OH and Its ok to block or restrict access to her and her family until I am ready to not.. |
When you stop trying to control, change, or fix people, and simply love them right where they're at miracles happen.
|
and...
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go...
|
Great thread topic!
I've actually learned quite a lot from past relationships. One, if I'm attracted to you, you're probably in desperate need of being fixed. lol! *shrugs* Maybe that's not fair but it is a pattern with me. Alright, let's see...I have learned from past relationships:
That last one is the most valuable lesson an ex has ever taught me. That my family, despite the fact they didn't understand me in childhood, would defend me with their lives and actually missed me when I was gone for over 2 years. Up until recently, I thought I was merely tolerated. I've never had a stronger bond with my friends and family as I do now and I'm grateful for every moment with them. I've learned priorities. I've also learned I'm very much a loan wolf. I've always functioned better out of a relationship than in one. Perhaps some day that will change but for now, I'm very content right where I am. |
Anytime anyone is kissing your ass when you have'nt done anything for them yet, you should be very suspicious.
|
People can lie about who they are because they don't know who they are. We are all at different levels of self-awareness. BIG LESSON.
|
|
I've learned to ask myself, Does it really matter?
|
that anything less than 100% honestly will end in disaster.
|
That i was a control freak..and needed to learn patience. Thank you! wherever you may be. :) lesson learned.
|
That shared values and a commitment to team work are the foundations of a successful relationship.
|
let there be peace after an argument~
don't put so many demands on me ~ too much makes me run ~ say positive words ~ not negative thoughts ~ don't repeat and repeat your demands ~notice I am covering my ears ~ notice if treating u right is a HUGE effort ~ ultimatum's belong in business ~ not when romance should be expressed ~ both partners have something to say ~ so listen ~ |
I think this poem says it all
After a while you learn
The subtle difference between Holding a hand and chaining a soul And you learn that love doesn't mean leaving And company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn That kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes ahead With the grace of a woman Not the grief of a child And you learn To build all your roads on today Because tomorrow's ground is Too uncertain for plans And futures have a way Of falling down in mid flight After a while you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden And decorate your own soul Instead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers And you learn That you really can endure That you are really strong And you really do have worth And you learn and you learn With every good bye you learn. Veronica A. Shoffstall |
I've learned anger isn't always founded in hurt and when it's present, it's not a good fit. I see that I'm capable of losing my identity and ... I shouldn't write poetry. Most importantly, the manner in which I walk away is as important, maybe more so, as the manner I walk towards. I don't get a second chance to do that right.
On the flip side, I've learned I can choose what I react to. I am capable of giving what I want in return. And ...I want to give. |
| All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:15 PM. |
ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018