It is hard work. Very hard work.

I know in my case almost all of my socialization behaviors did not come naturally. I learned them from experience and observation. I am learning to be flexible with what I think I know, or have learned. But it is indeed hard work (exhausting).

Expectations. The Dalai Lama says that to have true happyness we must give up expectations and how true this is.

I do still want to be understood though. I keep hoping.

More on thinking we are right.

I guess maybe everyone does to an extent?

I wonder if my thoughts are reasonable to other people....easy to understand. It amazes me when I write post after post and someone reads it and reacts to 4 words I said which to me are not interconnected....and I wonder is it my inability to communicate, or is it their reading comprehension.

Likely somewhere in the middle. :)

I just wanted to take a moment to thank each of you for sharing on this thread. As the mom of an Aspie, it gives me a very unique perspective to read your thoughts from the "me" space that I have to work so hard to get from my son.

Your sharing always makes me take pause to reflect upon how I might better communicate with bratboy and I daresay its helped me be a better mom.

As he reaches legal manhood, my heart gets all caught up in how he will be able to fare in the world. You all make me very hopeful that he will be most successful.

Thank you.

Much love,
C

Ohhhh for a parent who even wants to know her child's thoughts! :)

Actualy it is so difficult for me to separate what I think and what I feel and what the difference is and how to put it into words...especially in person.

I still at my age and unclear as to what the difference in thoughts and feelings really is. My therapist is always trying to give me examples...but I still am all over the place.

Your son is lucky to have you!

xoxo

Just wondering how a Neuro Pediatric Doctor could be so uneducated
I want to scream she isn't mentally challenged she's on the spectrum, but I remained calm, listened to the babble and lists of medications he will give her; then my reply you're more of an azz than most you can take your medication and shove it to the sun never shines again, i'll take my beautiful, talented, empathic child home where she is love and understood. sorry i needed to vent

So sorry this happened, and so glad she has you!

((((((SD))))))))

This is one of the MOST frustrating parts of being the parent of my Aspie. Educating the educators, teaching the teachers, etc...

I don't know if its a matter of uneducated or more a matter of "this is what I think and I am a doctor and I am GOD" situation.

Depending on where you live, there are physicians/institutes specifically for autism/spectrum. Vanderbilt in Nashville has TRIAD and while I had dreamed of such a place when bratboy was young and Aspie's were relatively unheard of, I did use them once they came into existence and he loved, LOVED going to summer camp with other spectrum kids. It was pricey, but worth it.

The only thing I know to tell you is to keep "doctor shopping" - you will eventually find one who makes you comfortable and confident.

As an aside, I was yahoo'ing with bratboy last night. The conversation went like this:

Him: "Mom, does anyone at your work know iPhones?"

Me: "Yep. Why? Is yours broken? It has a warranty."

Him: "Can you see if they know how to jailbreak one?"

Me: (in my techy ignorance I wasnt about to let on that I didnt know what in the HELL he is talking about) "Sure, bugs. Turn on your yahoo when you get home from school tomorrow and I will let you know."

Now, my IT fella explained it to me, but I still dont know why bratboy needs to do this to a $400 phone. Today's conversation went a lil like this:

Me: "Why do you need this?"

Him: "So I can turn it into a modem for my laptop"

Me: "You have a wireless connection - why do you need a modem?"

Him: "So I can have internet at school."

Me: "You have access at school. Why do you need this?"

Him: "Cause they block crap I am trying to look at like youtube and myspace."

Me: :overreaction:

These are the times when I call Jess and say, "Honey!! You aint gonna BE-LIEVE what YOUR son did now!" Poor Jess - not only inherited the bratboy, but now has to take ownership when the bratboy does some crackheaded crap! LOL

The boy is BRILLIANT! I say, BRILLIANT! and may need minor medical attention if he breaks that phone... jus sayin :furious:

actually, I will introduce him to the groovy old school phone this summer.. two cans and a string.. jailbreak THAT schmart guy :rofl:

i am spending time away from the state of indiana, with an amazingly intelligent and beautiful little aspie girl of nine years :artist:

:heartbeat:[she walks on her toes too!!]

:listening:

Just dropping by to say hello to everyone here. I hope you all are well, and enjoying your day!


:danceparty:

good afternoon
 

Yes, I get this feeling where it's like my brain is in a wind tunnel and sounds and pressure seem to go in and out. Kind of like a cooling unit? Not sure how to describe it.

I hope you feel better!

Belle, how cool that you got to spend some time with yoru friends, it sounds perfect!

:cheer:

A cooling unit - that is it perfectly. I just cannot stop it. What do you do? I have tried my migrain meds...nothing. I used my reading glasses...nope. I just have no clue. I tried to watch TV...it made it worse.

I have no idea how to make it go away. Deep breathing and getting away from people seems to help.

I was wearing my MP3 player in public places that freak me out...like the grocery store and crowded airports...but my G/F says that is dangerous. So I don't know.

So, does anyone have numbness in parts of their body other than hands?

There is a place on one of my thighs which goes numb or gets tingly sometimes and parts of my back. Sould I be concerned?

on NT and AT people who are in relationships -
 

I think about this often. I've worked very hard on my communication skills, and I have done a great deal of personal work, yet the happy/healthy partnership eludes me. My close aspie friends bring much joy into my life, and I appreciate them ever so much. There are times when I think that is the group women that I need to be looking at for a partner.

acceptance-
 

Cynthia and I are both on the Spectrum, but still we have huge differences in communication.

We both have to work hard to communicate and have to ask a lot of questions and be patient with each other.

In a way I think AS helps, in that we are both so self absorbed we know more about ourselves than most people do? and can explain ourselves to each other.

Great post Belle!

Best of luck to you Liam, she is out there somewhere :)

No, it is not.

I agree that I often get along better with my exes once we break up, beacsue then they can see that there is no hidden agenda.

So,

Cynthia and I, after a 5 year break up where we learned more about ourselves, decided to give it another shot becasue other than the attraction we share many interests, goals, morals, etc. I has been way hard work, but after 5 years back together this June I can say that we are happy and well suited.

It's not perfect and we do have to work at communicating a lot, but we are closer than we have ever been. Every day is a learning experience.

It was not like that from day one. We have had really rough patches, but we both are committed to do everything we can to make this work.

noteworthy-
 

Very true!

I pretty much have eliminated anyone who does get angry with me a lot from my life. I have been way happier since.

To forgive quickly is a virtue as is acceptance! :)

and

The ability to not take things personally when I am in meltdown. For me to be able to say I am freaked out and just leave or take some time to myself.

The N in NT stands for neuro, not normal; NT is the acronym for neuro-typical.

talents & interests - what are yours, please?
 

I'm not sure how C thinks that its dangerous to wear your MP3 in public places. I use mine in stores all the time - I seem to have a "please come talk to me and tell me your life story in 12 minutes" energy I emit, so I find that if I am jamming out with earphones in, people tend to NOT do that.

I've been known to have the earbuds in and the player off - it keeps the Momma in law from being chatty patty :dance2:

I would be interested in how C perceives this to be a personal safety issue.

Thank you and I love the new screen name! :)

I love animals, my fav part of the zoo is the bats. Bats are so cute. I really want a bathouse :). I often think I communicate better with dogs and cats than I do humans...(WAY BETTER, we have talks) One time I sat at the Knoxville zoo and looked at a lady bug while my friends walked around.

I like trains, history, maps, art, music, literature. I do write poetry too, and often rhyme even when I don't mean to. I like geeky stuff like what airlines are from which country, stops on train routes, history of man made lakes...information. What year a song came out, label and other info. Diseases. I drew all the time when I was little, I need to do more of that now. I love color.


I am not sure either, maybe that I won't be paying enough attention? or maybe that she herself is nto able to multitask, so she assumes I can't? Must ask. :)

Thank you for the correction Liam, and my apologies to everyone.

neurologist.turned.hedge.fund.mgr w/asperger syndrome predicted disaster-
 

Special education Week
 

http://www.edweek.org/ew/index.html?intc=ml

Full of info regarding education needs and progress for "special needs".

This was very interesting.

There are so amny times that things seem so obvious to us, when other people don't see. TU for posting! :)


I agree to an extent, except it is so simplified as to almost suggest blaming the victim.

Yes, every thought we have influences us and our health and if we give up all expectations and devote ourselves to meditation and prayer and someone else is paying our bills so we can...then Yes, we will have less stress induced illness.