Butch Femme Planet - Ask a trans person!

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Jet	03-05-2010 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 61266)

I think that varies from person-to-person and what experiences they have so I don't know if you'll find someone who feels exactly as you. I don't know if my "driving force" or impetus is as strong as yours (then again, I tend to be slow at decisions to ensure I don't second-guess myself down the road) but it took me a long time to realize I was born in the wrong body. (I didn't really understand what it meant to be trans until later in life).

I had inklings at a young age (when viewing myself from a day-dream point of view it was a male view -- largely shaped by James Bond, Charlie's Angels and the Facts of Life) and didn't really become aware of that fact until I hit my mid-teens. (when I realized that I never wanted to be a princess but rather the prince in many of the fantasy/sci-fi novels I read at the time). Even short story writing in school I envisioned myself as the male hero. I never talked about this internal view of myself to anyone because I was afraid of being called crazy or weird (I already had felt like a loner and outsider to everyone else -- I just didn't know why).

With it, I hid my desire for women, especially those who are rather feminine while still very strong and independent. I had learned to push that away and hide it most of my life although internally it was a constant battle between what I saw myself as and what I was presenting as. I tried to ignore the internal but there are few times that it lead to some close disasters. Once I came clean and decided to match the inside with the outside I felt at peace finally with me. Even with my weight gain (due entirely to my lazy ass) I'm still ok and love who I see in the mirror now. This wasn't something I did before and I often hated what I saw in the mirror.

DSM V may classify me as a mental case but I'm a happily blissful one at that.

Hopefully I answered what you were looking for. If I misunderstood, please let me know. :)

That's exactly how i feel and have felt in my life. My feelings were contrary to my body. Thanks Linus for sharing, it's what i was looking for.

alex k

03-05-2010 09:57 PM

in all my dreams i was the bold handsome man. in real life i was the one who held doors open, who walked on the outside of the kerb,who carried bags. i was as much of a boy as my brothers at least on the inside. can't ever remember a time when i looked in the mirror and thought 'thats me' Thi nk the reflections song in mulan was written just for me.

Jet	03-06-2010 10:05 PM

Thanks to Linus and Greyson for the PMs, link and input. Guess I don't feel so alone in my thinking anymore.

Thanks again,
jet

TCB	03-08-2010 09:42 PM

Hey All,
I wanted to share with you a cool radio program about a variety of trans topics and issues. Great listen, check it out :)

http://kboo.fm/GenderBlender

Linus

03-09-2010 12:35 PM

Hey everyone...

I just received this from CNN:

Quote:

Hi there,

Since you previously contributed to our Transgendered Stories assignment on CNN iReport, I thought you’d like to know about a new assignment that just launched. To coincide with the CNN documentary “Her Name Was Steven,” we’re looking for transgendered, transsexual or questioning individuals to share a message with the world. What would you like others to know about you and your experience?

The assignment is simple: Just put a message that you would like others to know about you on a sign and take a self-portrait holding it up.
You can find the assignment here: http://www.ireport.com/ir-topic-stor...topicId=417959

We’re accepting submissions until April 9. Please feel free to pass the word along! We look forward to seeing your submissions.

Best,
Katie Hawkins-Gaar

p.s. “Her Name Was Steven” airs on CNN this Saturday and Sunday at 8 and 11 p.m. ET. You can find out more here: http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/presents/

So, I'm working on what I'll post up but if you want to post your own picture with a message, do so. It'd be nice to see so many positive and supportive options out there.

Linus

03-10-2010 04:43 PM

So I upload my pix and comments. You can see them here: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-418506

Jet	03-10-2010 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 64398)

So I upload my pix and comments. You can see them here: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-418506

I just took a look. Very nice.

Linus

03-11-2010 08:06 AM

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Weirdly enough, I got an email from the same editor this morning asking me further about my iReport and would I be ok with my real name being used and what phone number to call me at if they have further questions.
:|

Greyson

03-11-2010 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 64774)

Nice job Linus. I like your well chosen message, words. I see you. I am a better person for having seen you, your words these past few years.

EthanGaBoy

03-12-2010 11:37 AM

Linus, you are awesome man. Thank you for being that brave!

ETHAN

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 64398)

So I upload my pix and comments. You can see them here: http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-418506

Corkey

03-13-2010 06:35 PM

FYI

Tonight on CNN a documentary called "Her name was Steven" 8 PM eastern.

Soon	03-13-2010 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 66403)

Tonight on CNN a documentary called "Her name was Steven" 8 PM eastern.

Thanks--it's on now here and is very interesting.

The Oopster

03-13-2010 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 66403)

Tonight on CNN a documentary called "Her name was Steven" 8 PM eastern.

For those that missed that showing it is on at other times so just search for it if you can ... it is showing at 11pm pacific today, sat and i did notice atleast one showing tomorrow, Sunday

Thinker

03-13-2010 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Oopster (Post 66430)

For those that missed that showing it is on at other times so just search for it if you can ... it is showing at 11pm pacific today, sat and i did notice atleast one showing tomorrow, Sunday

It's on again on Sunday at 8 pm (eastern time) and 11 pm (eastern time). They may run it again a time or two after that.

Remember that tonight/tomorrow morning is time change: spring forward.

Linus

03-13-2010 08:57 PM

And whatever you do, don't go to CNN and check out the article on it (or rather the comments to the article). They are vile and hurtful.

Jet	03-13-2010 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 66463)

And whatever you do, don't go to CNN and check out the article on it (or rather the comments to the article). They are vile and hurtful.

Dayum, I have not checked out the response, but i'm sorry. i guess just being satisfied with our own self is enough and that's what matters. here's to you, bro for having guts to put it out there.

parker

Logicaly

03-14-2010 08:09 PM

First time posting in this thread, but been reading along quietly as I contemplate where I want to go with my life...

I know who I am, and what I am. I am male, but very much retain my queer identity at the same time. It is what works for me.

That being said, I have finally made the decision that I am ready to start seeing a therapist, and taking T so that I can move forward with who I am.

First question, how did you go about finding a therapist? I'm in the San Francisco bay area, so I am sure I have a lot of resources available to me, but I am also very secluded, and have for most of my life been a hermit, so I am very unaware of what my resources are around me.

Second question, has anyone looked into an alternative to shots? I have such a huge issue with needles, of any kind, that it is a big deal breaker for me unfortunately. I know there are options such as the patch, or a gel. Does anyone have any experience with these? I've been doing a little bit of reading up on them and it seems they might be viable options for me.

Linus

03-14-2010 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logicaly (Post 67069)

In regards to your first question, if it were me I'd start here: http://www.tgsf.org/ they likely have the resources and contacts you need.

As for the 2nd, once the 1st is addressed they can look into other mechanisms for getting T. I've heard that patch based T tends to be a "lower" dosage (lower being a relative term). There are also "pellets", although these are more expensive they last for 3-4 months at a time (not sure yet if the US allows for those yet). I don't know much about the gel other than it has to be done daily.

Linus

03-15-2010 09:44 AM

I was reading a POC TransWoman's blog (http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2010/...ual-white.html) and noticed that she is very right. CNN, although doing some decent work on presenting trans individuals, is leaving out a huge part of the community: trans individuals of colour. My own privilege blinded me to the fact that this part is missing. The reality is they often face greater socio-economic challenges that are otherwise missed by white trans individuals. From my conversations with some trans men of colour they face new challenges (I've heard of trans men being stopped more than white trans men). I honestly do not know of specific challenges that POC trans women face but I would imagine it is similar to WOC and yet, amplified.

Why is it that in our own trans community we ignore this part of the community? It's not a small part (at least not here in NYC in the groups I've been in).

SFFemmePrincess

03-16-2010 08:22 PM

So as a follow up to Logic's post... First thank you Linus for that link, we checked it out, and while their mission statement says they are open to people of all gender presentations, they seem to me more geared toward TransWomen. But I did do a little research and found a couple of clinics. Does anyone in the bay area have any experience with the Trans services at the Tom Waddell Clinic, The Lyon Martin clinic, or with New Leaf counseling? I do have a friend that goes to New Leaf and he is really getting a lot out of it, but any other insight would be great. Also, I have done a lot of reading, but am I correct in that the first step he should take in the actual process would be finding a therapist? Are we on the right track?

Thinker

03-16-2010 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainbowchick07 (Post 68233)

but am I correct in that the first step he should take in the actual process would be finding a therapist? Are we on the right track?

I think that is the best first step. That'll help him get his thoughts in order and gain some perspective, and it will also be invaluable down the road if/when he pursues medical and/or surgical intervention.

Good luck!

Greyson

03-18-2010 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainbowchick07 (Post 68233)

Also, I have done a lot of reading, but am I correct in that the first step he should take in the actual process would be finding a therapist? Are we on the right track?

Hi Rainbow and Logically. We met at the Winter Ball dance. I live in the East Bay and have been through this process. I have used private insurance and out of pocket for my transition. To my knowledge New Leaf is a decent resource. New Leaf is one of the newer resources in the Bay Area and it is specific to the East Bay. Most of the resources are in the City. A few months back the Pacific Center in Berkeley started a peer support group for Transmen that meets on Wednesday evening.

If you like, send me a pm here with you contact information and we can talk some more. Good luck.

Leigh

03-18-2010 02:15 PM

I wanted to come in and say hi to all of My fellow trans brothers, not only to see how everyone is doing but also to give a quick update on how things are doing. I came out to My parents and didn't realize that My mom was going through alot, so whatever few days of silence that occured had nothing to do with Me so everything now is all good :)

I found out from a trans friend here that a place called Klinic, a community health care center, has a trans clinic with a doctor who deals with all trans patients. I called and talked to them, and got an intake appointment with the doctor's assistant in April to see if I can get in to be this guy's patient. His name is Dr. Whetter and if all goes well not only could he become My family doctor but he could also help Me to begin My transition. I'm optimistic about things but once the intake is done (April 16th) then I will see how things go ........ I'll make sure to keep everyone updated when things happen, and what he says :thumbsup:

Linus

03-19-2010 05:10 PM

Glad to hear it turned out well in the end, Braedon.

I got a surprise call today. CNN called to talk to me further about my iReport! :| I called the intern back so we'll see where, if anywhere, it leads but I gotta admit.. kinda exciting. :cheesy:

Leigh

03-20-2010 03:32 PM

I am too Linus :)

Andrea

03-27-2010 08:32 AM

The following article titled Falling in Love with a Transgender Man was posted on O magazine (Oprah):

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/F...nsgender-Man/1

Well written and beautifully expressed.

Andrea

Linus

03-29-2010 11:30 AM

Well, I just spoke to the Intern at CNN. Very nice conversation and he said that the story should be up by the end of the week or next week. He'll send me a link when all is said and done. Whee! :)

Logicaly

03-29-2010 01:45 PM

So here is my question. For those of you that where working when you started your transition, how did you handle it? Did you explain to your employer what was going on or just do it and if any questions came up then answer them?

I'm worried about the reaction my employer will have and as well how to handle it with my customers as I have a lot of public interaction since I'm in charge of all sales for the company.

Linus

03-29-2010 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logicaly (Post 75275)

I face customers regularly (as a technical trainer, I can't really escape that). The first step I took was talk to my direct manager and let them know what was going on. I then went to HR and spoke to them about how to address it with colleagues. Since many of us work out of homes and only meet now and again, I have it slightly easier (I rarely have to share a bathroom with colleagues). Together with HR, I put out an email that detailed how I wanted to be referred to (name and gender) and a FAQ on things to expect during my transition (FTM).

HR left the choice to me if people had questions. I'm pretty open and the only question I really got was how to pronounce my name (Linus can be prounounced as Lie-nus or Lyn-us and since we're IT both were fairly common, depending on whether coming from the US or Europe).

The choice of whether to transition and then address it or address it first depends, IMO, on the company and culture of the company as well as size. I'm lucky in that my company already has gender discrimination written into the corporate policy and it's fairly strictly adhered to. I can send you the FAQ if you want to use it as well as a copy of my letter I sent if it helps you (just PM me your email).

Soft*Silver

03-29-2010 02:06 PM

tyra's show today is on transgendered children...

Logicaly

03-29-2010 08:33 PM

See, here is the issue im running in to. I work for a very small company, maybe 30 employees max. We have no HR, and the owner does basically what he wants and feels is right, even if it is not. My co-workers, not an issue, some of them already know of my desire and are totally okay with it. My biggest fear at this point for me, is that my boss can find a way to fire me.

Andrea

03-30-2010 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logicaly (Post 75548)

A good resource is www.transgenderlawcenter.org. It is free and they are wonderful about responding to questions.

Andrea

Linus

04-02-2010 12:48 PM

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2010/...denial-of.html

Now this is interesting. Although the court case is for trans individuals who are in prison, the impact could be something beyond those borders and potentially on a national level (i.e., insurance companies will not be able to put in writing that SRS treatments are not allowed).

Linus

04-14-2010 02:05 PM

Finally was posted: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/14...ex.html?hpt=C1 (see picture #4) :cheesy:

Corkey

04-14-2010 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 85347)

Finally was posted: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/14...ex.html?hpt=C1 (see picture #4) :cheesy:

Way to represent my friend! Right On!

Greyson

04-14-2010 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 85347)

Finally was posted: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/14...ex.html?hpt=C1 (see picture #4) :cheesy:

Kudos Linus. Thank you. Yes, you are a Human Being.:mountie:

Linus

04-14-2010 02:29 PM

Heh.. Thanks. Ya. I wish others saw that (and based on the comments below the story it is obviously missed).

Jet	04-14-2010 02:30 PM

Good going Linus. That took a lot.

The Oopster

04-14-2010 06:15 PM

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1184

Hey guys!

I started a top surgery thread! I would appreciate everyone stopping by and giving there 2 cents!

Thanks

DamonK

05-03-2010 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braedon (Post 1046)

[COLOR="Navy"]

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?

[COLOR]

I knew I was different when I was 4 and threw a fit because my dad and bro could work outside without a shirt in the middle of a scorching TX summer, but I couldn't run around without a shirt.

I always knew I was different. It wasn't until after I came out that I knew I should have been born a male. That came around the age of 21.

Knowing how my bio family reacted when I came out as gay, I know I will not come out as trans to them. If they find out, so be it. And if they don't like it, so be it. I don't need their approval or acceptance. The way I see it, for ME and ME alone, they gave me life, if them holding on to their "daughter" is the highest act of respect, so to speak, I can pay them, then I will do it until they are no longer here.

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