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I have found that I feel loved when I am listened to.
I feel loved when I am missed and held. When hy worries about me and for me. When hy tells me that everything will be ok. Being loved is so strange for me sadly - but I like it. A LOT. lol. It works for me. |
- A Gentle Touch
- A Certain Look - Hugs (of course) - To be heard - Understanding - Trust - Honesty - Laughter/Silliness - Compassion - Nurturing - Date Nights - Romance |
....attention.... |
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The things that help me to feel loved have evolved over time. At one point, it was the physical love and the physical actions that made me feel loved. While I enjoy that still, at this point, it's the "small" things that many people don't even think about that do it for me. I need consideration as a human being and as an equal partner. I need pleases and thank yous and manners in general. I need the daily sensitivities that tell me that my partner is thinking of me and what I may want or need. I need to know that my partner thinks of me like I think of them, and often. I need to be a priority in their life, though I may not always be the highest priority at that moment, I need to be up there. I need for my partner to see the big picture not exactly as I do, but to SEE it...to have their own plan for their life and path and for OUR union and path. I need for my partner to have similar goals and beliefs concerning the big stuff (knowing my big stuff might not equal someone else's big stuff, of course). I need them to walk that path, during the process of obtaining those common goals, with me...side by side, and knowing their needs are neither greater nor lesser than mine. I need laughter and shared jokes. The more offensive the better, because I need my partner to be as much of a deviant as I. I need tender moments in quiet times and the knowledge that that moment means just as much to me as it does to my partner. I need patience in spades and forgiveness when it doesn't come easily from myself. I need my partner to love me more than I love myself, because as hard as I am on them, I am much harder on myself. I've used the term partner several times now and that is what a relationship is to me: a partnership. A team. Both members must look out for one another and be kind to one another and forgive one another when those moments come (and they will) and keep working towards the team's goals in the big picture. They need to act as one entity, moving and flowing in unison. Mind you, this doesn't mean spending every waking moment with one another or tying two of your legs together or anything like that. Heaven knows, Organic would have been strung out on the balcony a long time ago if that were the case. The relationship takes on a life of its own and that is what needs to be fluid and evolve. |
Gosh these posts in here are just fabulous and it shows that many, many of us have had that opportunity to really REALLY feel love. What a wonderful thing.
I agree with everyone that so many things truely can help you achieve that level of connection to allow someone into that special place that we protect at all costs until we trust someone and welcome them into that wonderful part of who we are. There is one thing though, imo, above all the other wonderful dynamics of being treated good, cuddled, reassured, trusted and trusting, honesty, devotion, tenderness all of those precious parts in a real loving relationship... And that is, imo, that look. It is a look from their eyes that radiates back into mine that is just beyond anything that can really be explained. It is that place where songs are written before they are sung, where poetry is thought of before it is written, where dancing is felt before any movement and a place where the words "I love you" are touched before they are spoken. That to me is what *i* need, want and desire. That is love and if that place is felt..the rest will fall into place. |
I look deep into my eyes and say I lovel you in the mirror or I drink a smooth whiskey and smoke a good cigar
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Fun and interesting thread and with so many commonalities I wonder if were all consciously giving it back..
but anywho... What I need to feel loved: I need to know you got my back.. day and night, when i am right and when I am wrong. Not to stand up for me but with me or support me when I am wrong and say so.. gently... I need someone to share the load. Not just expect life will miraculously poof in front of them.. this includes clean clothes, the dinner, a movie night out, or a vacation abroad.. Hold my hand Sleep with me at night Hug me before running off in the morning leave the world outside our front door, often. Surprise me.. little tiny cute girly things.. Honesty, say yeah or nah and know its ok.. and make sure its ok when I say it back. Mean what you say or dont say it at all. If you're not getting what you need, say so. equality Make us as important than you or me Im sure there is more or even less but the older I get the more I see how important working together to make the relationship makes me feel loved, to know I am important, cherished, needed, wanted, desired, when were both in it for each others well being. Star |
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I look to myself for love because if i dont love myself then I cant have anyone else love me, I need honesty and trust.
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To feel loved I need ...
I need to be treated with kindness, respect, open-ness and honesty on a continuum. And if she laughs at my corny jokes a lot of the time, then that is great too.
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what makes me feel loved
waking up gentlly as she crawls on top to lay her head on my shoulder and fall back asleep.
Soft unexpected kisses for no reason. Surprise visits out of the blue. The feeling of her touch when she reaches for me in the middle of the night. Bringing me a cold drink on a hot day , just cos she figured I needed it. Being a partner in home projects. Being honest and trustworthy, so I would never doubt or have to look over my shoulder. Be as invested in US as I am. Make sacrifices , IE. sit through a boring football game happily. Know how to get through to me when I'm being hard headed, if I'm in love with you , you have the power to win any disagreement we could ever have, if you know how to get through to me. Little notes left in unexpected places, telling me why she loves me. Grabbing my hand and pulling me away from a project , and walking me directly into the bedroom , I see candles burning and ........ Communication about everything. Taking care of me when I'm hurt or sick. Knowing what loyality, and devotion, and love mean. Being able to sense when I'm not ok, even if I say I am. Buying small inexpensive gifts like my fav gum, placing it in my breifcase to find when I get to work. Get up early on a work day and secretly make me breakfast while I'm in the shower. Put a sweet love note in my lunch box. Send me hand written love letters or cards in the snail mail, Make me something with your own 2 hands, even if it's a poem that you put in a frame for me. Playing little jokes on me so we both laugh out loud. |
I need a Bad Boy. I need Mischevious, Raw, and Nasty guys. To feel loved, I need to not hear things like "Baby. Princess. Darling. I need to hear things like "Girl. Mine. HellCat" |
A Look
Nurture Me Laugh With Me Consistency in Words and Actions Affection Lots And Lots Of It Trust Honesty Sensitivity Romance Making Me A Priority Be Spontaneous. Surprise Me At My Place At My Job... Fall Asleep In My Arms Love me for me. Dont try and change me. Im stubborn as hell. But if you have my heart I'll hang the moon for you... ;) |
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laugh
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to wake everyday knowing she is here.
yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come. so for today, I am here. |
it doesnt take a lot
Toast.
Make me some fucking toast and call it a meal, then tell me you love me. |
I am finding that I need a sense of team work with my partner, on many levels, including the things that Im working one outside of our relationship.
If I am deeply involved and passionate about a project, if my partner does not show ANY interest or any willingness to listen and at least be somewhat involved in, I feel less valued. |
I don't know anymore. But that doesn't mean I give up.
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