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No that is not what is being said at all from what I gather from *any* of the femme's who have voiced their opinions on this and experiences. Thank you |
I can NOT be the only one on the interwebz who has witnessed a Femme and a male Id'd Butch fall in love. Glitter and unicorns ensue. THEN they break up.
Inevitably, the Femme will come to a thread and switch to using female pronouns and birth names in an attempt to emasculate said Butch. THAT makes me crazy and is a thousand time worse than being lazy or making a simple mistake. I'm not the only one? Am I? |
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Is it only femmes? Or do "we" (the collective we) just notice it more and remember it more? I've seen it from both sides of the fence. |
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*I* was coming from my POV and what I have seen more of. Make sense? |
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I've also seen butches use female pronouns/emasculating phrases when referring to their ex's male-identified partner. |
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I merely posted what *my* opinion was on the post I quoted. If your experience/opinion is different, I am sure it could have been stated without the implied tone. |
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So. Moving away from the he/hy she/shy proper pronoun debate...
Do any Femmes here use a pronoun other than she/shy? I'm combing my dendrites to think if I have run into this and cannot come up with anyone. Remember though, I have a memory like the girl in 50 First Dates. So just cuz I can't think of any doesn't mean they aren't out there. |
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I know someone that uses
hir Dunno if that is the same as what you are asking though:| |
I wonder what are the ways that Femme's feel umm...femmasculated?
Like how does it look when someone takes a swipe at your femininity? Because I don't think it looks the same as emasculating. |
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I will go first.
How about being told that you are "butch". I have heard this in a jovial/joking manner in reference to my..uh...type A personality. As if being forceful, determined, or smart is somehow a butch trait. I don't take it as a compliment. Same with somebody throwing around the word: Toppy or Topping when I am forceful, determined or smart. I hope that this makes sense and doesn't feel like I am saying that *butch* is an insult in general. I'm not. |
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I will gleefully scratch at the eyes of anybody who questions the femininity or femmeness of myself or my pretty lady friends. Particularly since that questioning is always (fucking always!) in response to us showing our strength, our brains, out independence. Fuck That. |
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I use She/Her
Because of my strong willed/assertive/bossy way, I have been teased at various points.... mostly by a friend or in the community as a joke kind of thing among Femmes. No worries there. I know a few lesbian identified friend couples who are not "into" the Butch Femme community... once in a while one will say something about the other sort of off the cuff, like - "oh my girlfriend totally butched it up last weekend and fixed water heater" or "my partner totally dragged it up for an interview...she wore a woman's pantsuit" If this is out how they talk about themselves in the privacy of their own relationship, that's fine. If they do it because they don't necessarily know any better, ok I'll give them that. But if someone in the community (not a friend) called my bossiness butch-y or if I told a story about doing something that was "considered" masculine and they labeled it butch-y, I would be irked. |
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FUCK THAT... Another thing I have heard.. All you need is a nice butch so you can settle down... Um no I don't and I sure the fuck ain't gonna settle.... |
Yeah, settling is something that debris does.
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How about the look of amazement when you put together an Ikea cabinet or use a power tool on something? Like it's a big huge deal...OR a look of horror if you announce you do not like shopping. Or shoes.
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