Originally Posted by greeneyedgrrl
(Post 350256)
CHAZZ: The problem with conformity is, we don't always know we're doing it, and/or we call it by the wrong name, unintentionally or by design.
GREENEYEDGRRL: I agree, all the more reason to make it visible my friend!
CHAZZ: Yes, but "There are non so blind as those who will not see" and some people are deeply invested in not seeing.
CHAZZ: Even "being alternative", "gender queer", "fringe", "going G", yada, yada, can be a form of conformity. The conformity within my biker community comes to mind. (Accountants during the work week; Hell's Angeles on the weekend.)
GREENEYEDGRRL: exactly! ..if you're not conforming to one group, you are to another, and not necessarily all at once.
CHAZZ: The alternative to conformity isn't non-conformity. Nor is it about the superficial (i.e gender uniforms, posturing, or mimicry with a mythical twist). It's about self-awareness and self-reconciliation both of which are entirely inside jobs.
CHAZZ: Being aligned with the body you're born into isn't a "privilege". "Privilege" is a social construct - an arbitrary, subjective reality based on social norms and convention. You either buy into a given social construct (any construct), or you don't.
GREENEYEDGRRL: agreed, it is arbitrary, and subjective and socially constructed, but it exists whether i "buy into" the construct or not (man if i could make shit disappear just by not buying in, no more tea party for sure). until enough people stop buying in, this is the system we're stuck with. i see it in the radical queer community as well, the same gender bullshit that the heteros buy into, femmes are expected to behave in certain ways as are butches etc. it's pervasive.. it's internalized and i look at things that bring visibility to to the invisible "dominant culture" in a conscious way, with intent, as a way, (albeit slow), to change that. nothing would happen if it wasn't acknowledged.
CHAZZ: Yes, I see "the same gender BS the heteros buy into" in the LGBTQ community, too. If you call that stuff out, you risk being vilified or starting a "gender war". The question then becomes how to dialog about these things without hitting a wailing wall of denial and blind complicity. Especially since the operative these days is that feelings are facts when, of course, they are not.
CHAZZ: Butches do not have gender "privilege". They do not conform to the gender constructs of this culture be they female identified butches or not.
GREENEYEDGRRL: i id as femme, so i'll let ya handle that one...
CHAZZ: Deal.
CHAZZ: And btw, the opposite of "privileged" isn't deprivileged - it's unprivileged. Few women in this culture are "privileged". The LGBTQs should take care not to reinforce dominant culture myths that work against, or divide us.
Deprivileged = the loss of social privilege; to lose an advantage
Unprivileged = never being socially advantaged in the first place. (Butches and most women.)
GREENEYEDGRRL: agreed...although i'm guessing that your idea of how to go about it differs from mine, and i'd love to argue, i mean hear about that... as for the women not being privileged in the first place, i think it depends who you are talking about in relation to whom. not sure why the vocabulary lesson...but ok.
CHAZZ: Maybe my ideas are different from yours, maybe they are, at least in part. I do agree that "privilege" subscribes to the laws of relativity. And, not knowing you have "privilege" does not divest you from having it or (ab)using it.... I do see gender constructs as inculcated manifestations of power, control and dominance.... Those "who will not see" benefit from that even at their own expense. Life is paradoxical like that.
The "vocabulary lesson" was an attempt to reframe a misnomer. There is a tendency within the community to establish a hierarchy of oppression - everyone loses in that miscalculation. Hierarchies are a dominant culture artifact, so is misnomer-meistering. Both head critical thinking off at the pass.
CHAZZ: PS: Foot binding was considered a gender norm among the "privileged" class in China not so long ago. Genital mutilation is still a norm in certain cultures. These practices are seen as making a woman more attractive and desirable. I suppose they advantage women who align with these practices. But, I'm loath to say they confer "privilege".
GREENEYEDGRRL: i am not even going to tough that one, that's got loaded written ALL over it.
CHAZZ: OK, I'll touch it. It really doesn't serve us to become duplicating dupes. Broadly stated, men change the world, women change themselves to fit in.
|
