Hi.. I read some threads from yall. For myself... very attracted to femmes. Some butches attracted me and Im not interestin in butches. I realized some femmes attracted FTM that i didnt know cuz couple yrs ago I told 3 of my friends that I wanted to b FTM but I was so afraid that femmes, friends or my families wont accept me for what i am. I love my family very much. I should have to do it couple yrs ago. Thanks to 2 of friends from BFP (Kent and Princess). It made me realize abt FTM. I should do it years ago (D'oh).

I think everyone is high-maintenance at different times in their life, and different people have different needs. I probably had been guilty in the past of thinking the more femme someone was, the more high maintenance they were. I have way grown past that. I do think my thinking had to do with an issue I had with femininity. My childhood and what I gathered from society were negative images of women. I had to unlearn a lot. I wasn't comfortable embracing my feminity for a long time. Now, I see things so differently. What a journey. A lot of the process was finding peace with my childhood. My mom was a stay-at home mom, there was a lot of domestic violence and alcoholism. That contributed to my thoughts of being a woman meaning dependant and weak. I didn't want to see myself that way.
As for people not being interested in someone because they are 'too this or too that'.., it just means they aren't the person for you. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or with them. I know, rejection sucks. I've been on both sides of that coin. I kinda believe life is mostly based on fate, with a little wiggle room. The Unoverse, or God, or our higher power brings us who and what we need at the right time. It helps me deal with those derailments in life. I just believe everything will be ok, do my best, and I don't look for a significant other, I feel it will just happen when the time is right. Just live my life, be happy with who and where I am, and maybe our paths will cross, and if not, I'm okay with that too. Please pardon typos, I'm on my iPhone.

Hi Softbutch4U, it's true, femmes who like FTMs do exist. I have to say it seems to me that a lot of FTMs do date other FTMs so it's always reassuring to me as a femme to hear that there are FTMs who still like the b/f dynamic. Cause sometimes y'all seem elusive like super sexy unicorns. :smelling-flower:

Hi, 1Ladyface, I never knew FTM do date other FTM.. I think its weird but really interesting. Labor wkend in MN for mini bash.. First time I met FTM from B-F. And I looked at him and I was thinkin in my mind say.. Wow, Sure its look so much like a man. I know I met some MTFs before.(f)

I think that like every other population in the world, individuals are attracted to they simply are attracted to. Yes, data (as it stands presently), shows that many FtM's have relationships with one another as well as with butches (and some butches like other butches best). some of this makes sense when biological studies are considered about gay me and testosterone levels- they are higher than heterosexual men in significant values.

However, why wouldn't some FtM's be mainly attracted to femmes, too? Personally, I don't think that there is enough sound or replicated (which leads to the actual scientific validity of most of the variables involved here to make generalizations about. I certainly know fully transitioned FtM's that are straight (desiring femmes as well as other women), gay and bisexual. I have just never been willing to make any generalizations based upon my own subjective observations and like I said, this whole area of study just doesn't have a very long history of scientific data to consider. It always feels like so many conclusions are drawn about transpeople anyway without research, reading material available, or unfortunately, based upon bigotry/bias- even within the queer community.

I know it is difficult sometimes to "get" why let's say, a butch prefers other butches (I have often just not understood this myself) just because one is a butch that is totally attracted to femmes. Same applies to FtM's sometimes. But, haven't we all been quite puzzled by human attraction at times? From not being able to figure out why 2 people are even with each other? Who knows! hell, there have been times post dating someone and wondered "what was I thinking?"

In these types of discussions, I always fear assumptions or generalizations about people that are just not based upon fact- or that are based upon stereotypes, transphobia or just plain lack of information.

"But, haven't we all been quite puzzled by human attraction at times? From not being able to figure out why 2 people are even with each other? Who knows! hell, there have been times post dating someone and wondered "what was I thinking?""

Hi Atlast,

It is mysterious. I frequently wonder why I'm so very drawn to FTM id'ed folks and not even a little bit attracted to cisdudes. But when you've had cock that's always hard and that can be whatever size, shape and color you want...why take your chances with a messy fleshy thing that could get you pregnant and give you terrible diseases?

Oh. I think I've answered my own question. Maybe (in my case) it isn't so mysterious.

Wow! There's a lot going on in this thread...

Personally, I struggle with my feminine presentation because I am often not recognized as a queer woman. Apparently I am too femme to be gay/queer or I am thought to be a "fag hag" (i really hate that term).

I love masculinity, and that is a major quality I am looking for in a partner. That's why I am attracted to butches and FTMs. In my geographical area, though, most trans folks are dating other trans folks or those who are reinterpreting their gender/abandoning the concept of gender altogether.

It boggles my mind that there appears to be a certain "look" that is attractive to the trans community here, and I am not it.

I'm grateful for this thread, though. I feel like I am learning a lot about other people/areas and how interpretations of masculinity and femininity are different, and affect people in different ways.

PSA
 

FYI 1ladyface, even in a *butch/ftm* sexual encounter one can contract sexually transmitted diseases, it's not just with biological dudes, unprotected sex of ANY kind be it gay, trans, straight, bi will pass on STD's if you aren't using protection.


We (queers) are not immune to STD's.

Thank you lady snow. I'm aware of that. I suppose i should have just said STI risk is greatly increased when you sleep with cisdudes.

No, we are not! And thank you for pointing this out- let's all be safer and use common sense.. and always be prepared! LOL, ya' nevah' know what could happen, even with this old butch!

And, yes, I find what attraction can culminate in very mysterious some times.

Hi All,

I mentioned last week that my good friend and ex (a transman) will be blogging about his experiences in jail. The first entry was posted today.

originalplumbing.com

I have to say, I think of the OP community as really warm and supportive, but there have so far been some dumb assumptions and less-then-supportive comments which are upsetting to me. Not sure what my role is in this because I want Inmate 12004 to be able to respond himself but it's so hard not to jump in and just say "dammit, be nice." sigh. I guess I'm just feeling protective of him since I know he's in a vulnerable position. Anyway, I think the blog and the comment thread are worth reading.

lots of love to this warm supportive community,

a somewhat saddened ladyface

I agree with what you have posted, I know with all the surgeries I have had in the last 2 years I have been very high maintenance!!! to me it is not about femmes and or money, it is more a state of mind, high maintenance is something I would say maybe about anyone that drains the life or energy or money sometimes out of someone else and like I said i know in the past I could be seen to be high maintenance.
Surgeries all finished so right back to normal maintenance!
I do like this thread, I love Femmes and am extremely attracted to Femmes,
Queer Femmes, High Femmes
Femmes in a tshirt and jeans, no makeup ,yup femmes!!
there is nothing sexier then a femme in a mens suit!

Femmes for me
 

This guy has ALWAYS been attracted to femmes & always will be. I like all kinds of folks but, for sexual attraction, dating, marriage.....<never again...lol>.....it's femme for me. I'd like to meet some other guys for chatting & sharing experiences....but just as friends.

Ive always been attracted to feminine women, I admire butches/transguys/men for their masculinity & individual qualities but am never attracted to them sexually. However i once went out with a femme who said she loved the "male" thing about me but it wouldnt matter to her whether i was butch/femme/whatever, she liked me for who i am - whilst that was lovely and so was she, being on the verge of transitioning then, it DID matter to me. I couldnt deal with her seeing me as anything but male. Im attracted to women but not AS another woman..........:blink:

FTMs attracted to Femmes
 

I never thought I'd find myself in a place like this again - ten years ago I fell in love with a wonderful man, a gentleman, a fabulous lover (the best ever) male or female - I was married to a bio-male (sorry if the terms I use are not correct and I don't mind being corrected) for five years - the next 22 I spent with a butch, and for a few short years I had two relationships with with one butch and one person who ID as transman and preferred female pronouns because it made life easier for hym- and then I met my first FTM - to I liked him, I liked him a lot, but I wasn't sure that I could allow myself to fall in love with him - he made me see and feel like I was really home when I was in his arms - our transition was an amazing one - he was male - and he snagged me - he swept me off my feet - he spanked my buttocks and made me love it <wink> his level of intelligence and his sense of humor was off the charts and I thought this was the grandest relationship there was ever created on earth - and time pivoted - and then as life does, we changed for so many different reasons - and eventually it was time for both of us to move on - he moved several states away - and I couldn't.
I'm telling you, mark my words, if one of you femmes out there has the chance to meet him - when you are introduced to him, you will find out exactly what I'm talking about.
Because of him, I am hoping that in my new journey of being single I will be lead into the arms of an FTM who wants to co-create a new journey in joy and love - and maybe it will be forever - a femme can dream.