Butch Femme Planet - What Cracked You Up Today?

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Conversation over morning coffee .. there is never a dull moment!

:love1:

Not much has "cracked me up" today :shocking:

but my day began just a bit ago, so there's no telling what I will find funny today or what will cause me to laugh or giggle!

:blueheels:

Nothing! So far I've had a super stressful, client crazy-making, chaotic day. Maybe that will change.

I received an email today, made me laugh, thought I'd share. It's titled "Life Thoughts By Ducky"

:duck: 1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "GUESS" on it. So I asked "Implants?". She hit me.

:duck: 2) Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

:duck: 3) How come we choose from just 2 people to run for President and over 50 for Miss America?

:duck: 4) Now that food has replaced sex in my life I can't even get into my own pants.

:duck: 5) I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for the class in the first place!

:duck: 6) When I was young, we used to go skinny dipping. Now we just chunky dunk.

:duck: 7) Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

:duck: 8) Wouldn't it be nice if, whenever we messed up in our lives, we could just hit "Control, Alt, Delete" and start all over again?

:duck: 9) Wouldn't you know it.... brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoofyLuvr (Post 116092)

I received a check in the mail the other day. I had been expecting it, but it was much larger than I thought it would be. I was just about doing back flips, I was so excited! So, my friend and I went to try to get it cashed. After many tries, I found out the only way to get it cashed was with a hold placed on the funds. My good mood suddenly went south. I had PLANS for that money!!! My friend looked at me, and said "Now, I know all the red has been licked off your candy, but it will be ok."
I looked at her for a second, digesting what she had just said, then busted out laughing. How could I stay bummed after a comment like that?

After all, we ALL know red is the best flavor! :blink:

2 days ago I put a little box in the cage with a small towel in it for Itty Bitty to sleep in. He shit in it and slept on the floor of the cage. So I took it out and put litter in it.:|

Today I put a box of litter in the cage with Grumpy and he is shitting in the floor of the cage and sleeping in the litter.:wtf:
ROFLMSAO!!!:rofl:

I can't stop watching this.

A conversation..

Mitmo: What cha doing?

Me: Preaching my normal spill in a thread..

Mitmo: What thread?

Me: :| hahahahahahahahahah Let me go look...

Shoot.. I was totally off thread topic..

So what's new?

confirmed heterosexual anti gay voting GOP Congressman Schock at the Whitehouse Picnic

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 129547)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1xQeOPE9eP..._schocking.jpg

(on the right)

Ha! too funny!

just loooove the turquoise belt! :rofl:

Doggy Bubble Baths at 6:15am...with two silly muttlies who gladly rolled over in the tub to have their bellies scrubbed and rinsed. As if to say "ya missed a spot, Mom!"

The fact that i dont need an alarm clock when i have 4 felines busting into our room to wake me up right on time to feed them...who knew that kitties work better than the alarm clock lol

I forgot to add one of my coworkers had the funniest t-shirt on yesterday....it said " I have a blackbelt in crazy" lmfao and there was a 70's karate dude on it and it was the funniest shirt ive seen in a long time lololol

I'm So Much Cooler Online

This has been cracking me up for a few days..... amazing kid!! Makes all of us Rock Band geeks look like amateurs, that is for sure!

An email from a friend, oh my goodness I'm still chuckling....

Next Time Your Door Bell Rings...

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist
later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's
office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I
had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already
around 8:45 AM...
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time
to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little
extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I
wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the
washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash
in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw
the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I undressed, hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I
was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an
extra effort this morning, haven't we?'I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal - some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out
from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my washcloth?' I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

...."He's so deep in the closet he's finding Christmas presents."