I am an old-fashioned femme who likes my doors opened for me, especially when we're in the midst of an argument because it helps to ground me back to the root of the dance.

I am self-sufficient. When the plumbing needs to be done or the drywall needs to be repaired, I have no problem getting the tools and doing the job myself, if no one else is available.

I am a nurturer. I've been told I'm a good cook and I like to bring people together to feed them and help develop community.

I am wicked smart but I don't equate level of education with level of intelligence. Illogical arguments irritate me. I have much respect for the person who can simply say, "I don't know" rather than think they can bluff their way through a conversation.

I am a Mamma Bear. Mess with my children, my butch, or a dear friend and there will be consequences. Mess with me and chances are I will just ignore you.

I am a fighter for justice, yet I'm not motivated by money. I will take a case pro-bono if I feel as though you are clearly the underdog and justice has yet to serve you well.

I am somewhat crunchy granola and very aware of my carbon footprint. I believe very strongly in living gently upon the Earth and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I am a difficult person to live with. My life has been what it is and while I try to laugh and continue to be committed to self-improvement, I still have my triggers.

I am fiercely loyal to the people I trust.

I am budget conscious and insist on living within my means, with minimal to no debt. At the same time, I like nice clothes and shoes. Since I get a kick out of thrift shops and yard sales for the best bargain, I satisfy my need for fashion finds without blowing my budget.

I am a woman through and through. I know who I am, yet my identity is invisible to most people I come in contact with. I gain my strength by proudly standing next to my butch, who has faced hardships that I will never have in my life. Together, we nurture one another to be the best possible people we can be.

I am very self-conscious.
I have an eating disorder.
I have low self esteem.

I have a fiance who makes me happy, but no one else knows me like she does.
I sometimes struggle to tell her the truth about everything.
I like to keep quiet so people can't read my emotions.

I feel that everyone needs to hate me, and when they don't, I think they are stupid.
I love to take care of people.
I work with people every day, and it is okay for me.

I am very independent, but seek a life of dependency.
I am very boring.

I've just come to the realization that I'm a stone femme! ^^
 

I'm super femmy!

I prefer to have doors held for me and chairs pulled out, I'd rather not wear the pants in the relationship although I could but it would deffinatly rub me the wrong way deffintaly wouldn't work out. I feel that people think that being femme is a style as if it depends on how much makeup you wear or how high your heels are, to me it's a feeling it's literally who I am
You can take away my heels and makeup and whatever else and I'll still feel the same. I'll still like florals and lace and still want someone else to carry the heavy bags. That doesn't mean I won't do it for myself I mean I'm a kurvy girl and I've been raised by a bunch of guys, people tend to think that just because I'm bigger that it makes me more masculine and it really offends me :/ like deeply :/
I like getting my nails done and spending hours in sephora ^^ I'm kind of old fashioned I guess, I like cooking and baking and for some reason I find cleaning satisfying ^^ I'm into crafting and home making, super eco friendly! ^^ I love reading a good book and I enjoy writing, I've been told I'm good but who knows?
I'd honestly rather someone else take the reins, maybe it's because I've never had that happen, like I said people assume that because I rock an affro occasionaly and I'm a size 16 and I don't wear heels all the time that I'm not femme? Like since when has that defined us? or me for that matter. I'm ranting yes, don't judge me lol. I suppose I'm into classic roles you know? I prefer to do the cooking and the cleaning for some odd reason I like housework? lol Although I'd still want to keep my job ^^ er my future job lol

I used to feel SUPER guilty that I prefer women more masculine than myself (i.e. Butches,stone butches,deisal dykes, ect.) my friends (my "friends" in the community) tried to convince me when I was just coming out that what I really wanted was a man like ugh no thanks I'm so glad I'm over that. How is this relevant to the topic? well I feel like if I didn't like masculine women that I wouldn't be as feminine?

I'm into entertaining ^^ I love cooking for people goodness forbid if you tell me your hungry lol I am pretty self sufficiant, I can stand on my own 2 feet I've only been doing is since I was like 8. I have a big personality ^^ Except when it comes to relationships then I can be pretty submissive, well I prefer to be, It makes me happy? I know that must sound super strange but it does make me happy to please others especially my mate in which ever way they require:}

My home is literally my castle, it's always been a dream of mine to be a princess since I was little ^^ but yes my home is my castle I spend hours organzinng, cleaning, primping and pressing until it's perfect for myself and my mate and my family :}

I just got out of the habit of wearing makeup, (althogh I am getting back into it just because I like it, especially eye makeup!!! ^^) I used to wear it to hide or to "fit in" because I was misinformed that that's what being a femme is all about and because that's what I thought people wanted, that it made me "prettier" and it may be true but if you want to be with me, well I don't wake up with flawless skin and cat eyes so get used to the natural me, that's the truly femenine part :}

I suffer from PCOS which can be a very debilitating blow to your femininity :/ the symptoms are so hard to deal with, you grow hair in places you don't want, you gain weight you don't want, you can become infertile and theres absolutly no cure :/ :{ which makes my femininity THAT much more important to me. I literally have to fight for it in every aspect of my life.

Idk anyway I'm a flower power, little black dress wearing, cake baking, pink fuzzy slipper toting, yet still has no problem getting her hands dirty kurvy brown little femme :}

bump bump bump..lol
 

Breaking myself down.
 

I originally struggled with being so very femme. When I first came out in college, my understanding that we must reject what was described to me as the "paternistic/cisgendered" idea of what a woman ought to be. Problem was, that while I rocked my flannel and shapeless jeans, I missed my pedicures and ached for the feel of a sundress on a warm July day.

Then I met someone who simply said "be the woman you want to be with no apologies" and leave it to the world to figure it out. That advice made perfect sense because just as I won't make excuses for my preference, neither will for how I express myself.

That said, I still like to shave my head in the summer and will occasionally smoke a very big cigar. Beyond that, I'm that chick - a word I never object to - who likes to dress up for a date and will endlessly try on shoes while you hold my bags. I'll spend hours preparing great meals and I'm that girl who walks in the room at just the right time with a giant tray of homemade snacks during Sunday football.

I will wear lingerie and old and oversized concert/college t-shirts to bed. I will take my time getting ready for a date and I will sneak out of bed early to brush my teeth if it looks like my partner is an early riser.

I enjoy the chase and while I value a partner who's up for the pursuit, I don't play too hard to get. I'm mostly a bottom, but take pride in being able to please my partner and see to their needs just as well as they see to mine.

I take care of myself and make my own way in the world, but I still like it when my partner makes me feel safe, secure, and maybe a little spoiled too.

I'm always finding - and occasionally blurring - the fine line between indulgence and discipline. I work out and stay fit, but will eat ice cream right out of the container when I surrender to impulse.

I'm not a bitch - but I'm not a pushover, either. Don't mess with my spice rack, my heart, or my people. Do that, and you get the fangs and claws.

I'm outgoing and make really good first impressions, plus I try really hard to be arm candy for the right occasions.

I like dating people who are older than me. Some of my best dates began with "I don't normally date women your age, but..."

I am a loving daughter and doting auntie...but I'm not sure motherhood is for me.

I like it when you hold the door for me...or surprise me in the shower.

I purr...and I roar.

Roar.
 

I’ve struggled for some time with my femme identity. I wasn’t sure I was even a lesbian until I stumbled upon butches/studs/bois/masculine of center lesbians and something in me just went- yes, yes please.

So at first I thought I had to be femme because, I was attracted to butches. But that kind of annoyed me. I don’t want to take on an identity that’s only based on who I fancy. So I’ve read up a lot on butch/femme dynamics and identities, but I have yet to find a clear reason to why, apart from my butchfancies I should label myself a femme.

I know who I am as a person. I'm bookish and kind of nerdy. I like some girly things like dresses and baking and adorable things as well as using the word adorable (a lot). But I also like traditionally masculine things, like camping and fishing. I prefer blue to pink, I prefer barefoot to heels.

There isn’t anything especially about me that would stand out as femme or feminine, I look like your average 23 soon to be 24 year old.

I think the reason I identify as femme is simply because it sits right with me. When I heard the word and found out about it all, something just felt right.

I read somewhere, although I don’t remember quite where, that femme is finding a way to be a girl that doesn’t hurt. Something about that really gets me.

Let me tell u that just cause u lime t camp or fish or whatever else that DOESN'T mean ur less femme then the next femme

How U see yourself is ALL that matters. You don't have to have a reason or find one. U r who u R

I'm a laid back, occasional-femme. ;)

I'm a stay at home mom to our daughter who is 12. Most days I'm in pajamas/comfy clothes all day. On days my beautiful occasional-butch wife takes us out I usually dress up. Jeans and a tee to pencil skirt and pumps kinda wardrobe going on here. If I'm in a skirt or dress, I'm in makeup.

There's no real roles in our house. We all do girly home-spa days and makeovers. My wife is the cook. I'm the clean. We are both kinda in the middle of the butch-femme scale, the wife is just slightly farther on the butch side and I'm slightly farther on the femme side. I totally just pictured us standing on a scale.. ew. scales and chubs like me don't mix.

I am a pink loving femme. I love gel nail polish, putting makeup on everyday, yet I wear sweat pants almost everyday! I feel awesome when I flip my long hair over my shoulder... I do as much as I can to further animal liberation and their rights. I'm a vegetarian. I know the earth is sacred. Nature is beautiful. I recycle, but I should do so much more. I'm the femme who loves to bake but can't really cook. I'm the femme who plays Mario 64 as much as possible ! I don't wear leather but I love the look and have several faux leather pieces of clothing including a pink motorcycle jacket! I love spikes and metal and useful things like braids, rope and carabiners! And I love to smoke reefer :) But i also love cosmos and dresses and heels and especially earrings. My brass knuckle pair is my favorite :)

I am not sure exactly what makes me or anyone for that matter Femme. In historical context, Femme means that I dress in skirts and heels to attract Butches. I feel that what makes me Femme is that I am a lesbian and prefer women with certain features and characteristics that are Butch. Being Femme to me means that I can change oil and balance the tires; I can snowboard better than the guys, while my Butch can cook and sew me under the table. Femme means that my seduction game is completely different from the Butch. My confidence comes from being able to seduce with tinted red lips and the swing of my hips. Femme means that I can spot a Butch from a mile away! Femme for me means that I like for Butch to be the lead in dancing... just long enough for us to figure out a way to let me take the lead. Femme means that I have memories of wanting to dress in silk nighties and wanting to be seductive. It means that I have memories of seeing women's breasts and desiring to feel them. Femme means that I desire the Butch women exactly for their walk and the signals that they send out. Femme means that to the outside world it will always seem that it is the Butch who protects me, yet in our hearts we both know that we protect each other.

I love this. Thank you!

I'm extroverted and typical scarlet southern type.

I love animals, I find compassion and love for all things.
Netflix and baking are my favorite pass times.
Football is a big deal to me, where I'm from it's a religion.
I can be hard on myself, I always feel like I can do better. Even if I'm the best at something there's that feeling I can do more.
I rarely open myself to others, once I feel I can't trust you my emotional wall becomes the only emotion I show.
When I get angry, my accent gets thicker.

I am a Stonefemme who caters to the needs & desires of a Stonebutch… Lipstick, high-heeled, femininely polished look at all times, yet who enjoys a deep flushed tangled haired sweat that only a butch can induce within me…

A femme whose heart skips a beat for all the wonders in life, who sees a part of me in other sister-femmes… no matter where they identify on the spectrum…

A femme who appreciates the gift that has been bestowed upon me… having the ability to see a butch through their self-vision, to respect boundaries, encompass mindsets, embracing their need to be whole… whether strapped or not…

But mostly importantly I am a femme who has learned to not lose sight of myself in love and in life…

Resonating…

I just wanted to say that I started reading this thread tonight and couldn't stop! It amazes me that there are so many wonderful women here. While some of the stories seem so intense, the courage and strength is amazing. Proud to be femme! Go girls.

Femme...
 

If there was ever anyone born in the wrong era it is me.
What sort of femme am I?
The kind that loves to dance barefoot in the rain.
I am the kind of femme that will had you the hammer so you can get the nail in, because no matter how hard I try I always get it crooked. I'm the kind that will fix you dinner because it pleases me, not because I feel like I have too.
I bake to relieve stress.
I occasionally wear jeans.
I adore my long skirts.
Sometimes I dress vintage with a minimal amount of makeup... The style is often described as pin up girl I believe... Other times I look like I come straight from the sixties. Flower power!
I am the type to hug a tree just because I feel about it. I hate grocery shopping, but I love window shopping.
I don't like see through clothing for myself, though I admire some of the more tasteful ensembles on other people.
I'm the type of femme that has no problems sitting with my feet crossed under me while on the couch, just watching an occasional western.
I have such a hunger for knowledge that you can talk to me about anything, but I warn you, if it has too much to do with a car you've already lost me with the first sentence, but I will keep listening because I am absolutely charmed with the way you talk.
I'm crafty, but I can't follow instructions to save my life, so I find my own way.
I'm the type of femme that thinks it be perfectly okay to sleep in her shirt... and nothing else.
I'd absolutely be tickled pink if you get the door for me, but I wouldn't expect it.
I'll buy my own.
I'll kill the spider, or shoo it out the house, but if there is a mouse? I'm done. LOL
I sing in the shower, while I'm cleaning, and sometimes if you're lucky I'll serenade you.
random facts ****
Loves unicorns
is a dork
loves kittens
loves puppies
love love loves bunnies
and yes, chickens
fantasizes about fixing an old vw bug bus and maybe seeing different parts of the country
Im the type that believes relationships are meant to be even leveled. What you give I will give equivalently. We're meant to be partners and I refuse to be handled with kid gloves... except when I am at a low point and just want you to hold me.

Finally, I'm the type of femme that can't be placed in a box, because for me just like MacGyver I'm going to find about a million ways to escape it.
I am also a nurture type... hence why I work with kids.

I am the lady who loves a cat on her lap while I sip tea and read a book. I love books on nature, witchcraft, occult, science, philosophy, and especially about cats. When I'm not reading, I love creating. I love writing poetry, stories, and even educational papers. I love making crafty cute pretty items.

I go for natural beauty--no make up. I love wearing cute dresses, combat boots, and gladiator sandals. No high heels for me. Cute handbags are an addiction to me, I can never have too many bags.

I also love beautiful instrumental music. Playing my violin makes me feel magical.

I had to think about this...

I am a stone.

I am playful.

I spend hours every week taking care of myself (working out, hair, nails, etc) because that is what makes me feel sexy and I want the person I am with to be proud of me.

I can melt a butch's heart with who I am but I can turn ICE COLD if I am hurt ...

I don't like games, cheats or liars.

I am beyond protective.... and need to feel protected too.

I don't care if someone opens the car door for me or not. I do care about opening an entry door (that is called manners).

If I want someone, I want them. I don't need them.

I am a vegetarian who cares very much about animals and the environment.

I have a huge heart and always sides (and fights) for the underdog.

I wear dresses, skirts, jeans, heels, sneakers, boots... my clothing is fairly eclectic. As long as I feel good, I'll wear it.

I despise arguing and would much rather talk things out. It takes a lot to make me yell....

I need passion in all parts of my life....

I don't fall fast but, when I fall, I fall hard.

I am attracted to strong and sexy. A butch who is confident but not cocky. There has to be that sexy vibe. The sexy vibe is easy to spot, even on here with just posts and chat. Funny is always good too.

I hate it when people think they are better than others. Nobody is better, just different.

I am extremely shy until I feel comfortable. If I am at a party, I am the one talking in a small group and not the one talking to everyone.

I am spiritual and more eclectic Pagan than anything else. Religion is a non-issue with a partner.

I have this wall..... friends have told me that they can almost see the wall go up.

I can't hide my feelings, I am pretty transparent.

Idk... I am just me

I am a Femme. Albeit a delayed one.
I am independent. Self-sufficient. Worthy. No I don't always feel that way but in the darkest part of my soul...I just know.
I am fiercely loyal. If I care about you, then I will always care about you. Even if my back bears the scars of your betrayal. Be warned though...when you stab me, I will come at you with a machete and carry on caring afterwards.
When I hurt, I hurt deeply. But my heart is ever-forgiving nonetheless.
I'm a dork. A nerd. A geek. And awfully proud of it.
I prefer a couch and cuddles to a party and love nature and all it's wonder. Except spiders. And locusts. And frogs. The trees. I like nature's trees.
I sing when I bake. I sing when I'm sad. I sing when I sketch. I love sketching. I don't know where it comes from or how it got there. But I love it.
I still use frequent hand gestures when explaining something that excites me and still make grabby hands when I see something that excites me even more (stuffies! I'm a stuffie hoarder. And games.)
I am a Gemini. Which with me, means an idea is usually followed by an even better idea (eg Take a nap...noooo let's have a cookie or four first before that nap) and laughter at inappropriate times
Exercise calms me. So does killing a hoard of demons in Diablo 3 and writing.
I love helping others. It makes me so happy. Being nice to someone just because I've been given another day to do so.

I am a totally weird introvert who's just working hard at being me

I always knew I wasn't like the other girls when I grew up.

At age 6 I already knew I wasn't getting married ever, and never wanted to have children either, of course, at the time I believed that marrying is something I could only do with men. Things in my perception have changed since then, and I was very happy to say yes to my handsome butch love of my life last year :) As a little girl, against all hopes of my mother to not raise me stereotypically female, I preferred the dolls, the glitter and the dresses over the toy train, balls and pants. She had been raised to be a girly girl and hated it, and promised herself to not do that to her own daughter one day, but I ended up being the girliest girl you could imagine, entirely voluntarily.

At age 12 I happened to watch my first movie with Butch-Femme-dynamics, (Bound - has been a favorite ever since. You might wonder, how did I get my hands on that movie at age 12, well, I grew up in Colombia and went to visit my uncle, he and I wanted to watch a movie so we went to rent one. Medellín being the criminal city it was back then, all the video rentals were closed with bars, so you had to ask for a particular movie or a genre, and they would go and find it for you and hand it to you through the bars. We asked for a mafia or thief movie hahaha, and they gave us Bound) and not even knowing of the existence of the word lesbian, at the sight of the Femme I felt admiration and a feeling of "I want to be as beautiful as her" and at the sight of the Butch, I got red glowing cheeks and for the first time felt something like arousal.

At age 17 I bravely went to lesbian parties all by myself, dolled up and wearing high heels, only to be called hetty by the other guests. Over and over again. Sometimes being refused entrance to parties with the words "Sorry this is a lesbian party". At age 18 I made the decision to never change who I am, despite the exclusion within the lesbian community; I decided to be true to myself, which is being as feminine as it gets! I proudly continued to wear my dresses amongst the feminists who would condemn me for it, accusing me of "emulating the heteronormative ideal of beauty". And despite their judgment, I continued to be an active feminist, and didn't allow my sense of beauty to be manipulated, not from straight folks and certainly not from my own ranks.

I get a lump in my throat when someone speaks disparagingly of Butches and female masculinity, when the kind of humans that happens to be one of the most beautiful to me, is under attack, I hurt. I defend Butches in their absence when that happens, although I wouldn't have to, although I get offered a bitter pill of recognition, in the form of a "compliment": "You don't look gay at all, that's really cool, I mean, not like those masculine lesbians, that's so unattractive, who wants to walk around like that."

I'm the femme who despite the looks of men which I find to be encroaching and uncomfortable, doesn't downgrade how she styles herself. My makeup, my clothes, my hair, my gestures, my movements, they are all what the masses think is some sort of act to enchant men, when it is, in fact, the absolute opposite ... I do not like men, because Femme is my identity. Woman, in the traditional sense, is to me a female that sees herself in any way in relation and contrast to man. I don't. Men as a sex don't play a role in my life. I have a few male friends, but they aren't an energy I need. My sexuality, my lifestyle, my identity, my feelings, my acts and my thinking, do not incorporate men.
Genderwise I see myself not as the counterpart to man, but to Butch.
Therefore, to me, being Femme means to remain childless. I have a different form of femininity, motherhood does not belong to me. Please understand that I'm trying to explain my gender here, I am by no means saying that a mother can't be a Femme and viceversa. Not. at. all.

I see other Femmes as my sisters, as allies rather than competitors. I can rarely have friendships with Butches because they touch/move me on a sexual, intimate level. I naturally keep a distance from Butches with whom I'm not in a relationship, affair or flirting. I can recognize a Butch with just a glance. It's the way we look at each other when we meet by chance, it is a look that says everything, and makes me feel, even if only for a moment, at home. Such moments can nourish me for years, can comfort, soothe and heal me when once again I am being marginalized on a lesbian party with words such as "what is the barbie doing here? She lost?". Or if macho lesbians grab my butt. Or grab me against my will and press their body onto mine. These moments with Butches that are marked by so much appreciation and respect, help me to remember that we exist. Although we are rare.

I am a self-sufficient, strong person. I am emotionally, financially and mentally able to provide for myself. I don't need anybody to organize my move or to screw my shelves to the wall, or to work on my tax return or to make decisions for me. Only for the cruelty free removal of spiders, that's where I take all the help I can get ;)
My appearance is at odds with the perception people outside the B/F-community have of me. I come out in an endless loop. Again and again and again do I have to explain why I don't want to have a husband, why is my partner so masculine, why do I not at least have a girlfriend as feminine as I am...
In a world that doesn't understand any of that, I continue to follow my own heart, my own core. Undeterred by all which is thrown in my face.
Being Latina doesn't help. I have literally no Latinx community left. Being a VERY feminine woman in Colombia is expected. When I show up with my Butch partner, the looks are unbearable and make me ashamed of my community, so I want to spare my partner their bigotry.
I like my Butch to be very masculine in the way she carries herself, I love a deep voice, and a very masculine clothing style. I love the contrast between her and me. I'm very territorial when it comes to my femininity and I love how my partner doesn't show the slightest interest in any of my girly things. Not my make-up, not my perfume, not my clothes, not my jewelry.
Before coming out to myself as a Femme in relation to Butch, I used to identify as lesbian and dated lesbian women, who were sometimes only slightly less feminine than I am. It always felt wrong, it often felt like I was doing something unnatural. For ages I believed I had a severe case of internalized homophobia, until I finally understood that I wasn't feeling natural, because I just simply hadn't allowed myself to really go for the kind of person that made my knees weak and took my breath away: Butches. Ever since I stopped dating androgynous and more feminine lesbians a couple of years ago, I feel like my inside and my outside finally match. I feel like the budding flower of my soul finally bloomed.

Other than that, I'm of course packed with a thousand different qualities good and bad, but they have little to do with the Femme aspects of me, and are more about the human aspects of me. So I'll save those for another thread and another occasion, especially given the length of this post.

Thank you beautiful Femmes, for sharing your stories, your emotions and experiences here, you're such a beautiful bunch of people, reading all those entries has made me feel so proud to be a part of the Femme tribe, has made me feel honored to be amongst such gorgeous human beings.

6 years later
 

It's strange to see that in 6 years, not much has changed. A few things have evolved. The older I get, the more I am humbled by life and able to see what matters and what doesn't.

I have definitely grown even more into my femininity, as far as what it means to me. My hair is the longest it's been in almost 20 years, and while it can be a mess sometimes, I like how it feels. I enjoy wearing just enough makeup to feel "pretty" without overdoing it. I literally feel much better when my nails are painted. I live and breathe my passions, and always will. I can't survive when they are stifled. I'm even more of a painful, pathetic romantic than I was before.

I like to draw swirls and other doodles. I love floral patterns, lace, pearls and vintage colors & designs, in general. I am even more obsessed with vintage and bygone eras than I was before, and I didn't think that was possible. I guess this passion has also contributed to shaping my huge passion for homemaking and old school, old-fashioned values & dynamics, which only seems to grow stronger with time.

I've also had to accept that I have a darker side, that loves Halloween & spooky things, and a lighter side that still loves many things I did as a child - from crafts to games to Disneyland. There are many things I will never outgrow. I've also learned that I don't just love nature, I need it, in whichever way I can have it. Being at the beach or by water, taking a walk in the breeze near dusk.

I love the dichotomy of complementaries. I feel less inadequate about the fact that I am stone. It hasn't been easy to reach this point. And I have a special respect and admiration for those who are unwavering with this as well. Much like my admiration for butch, male ID and trans. Anya wrote beautifully about being a harbor, and I feel the same way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya* (Post 492650) I am the femme that is a port in the storm for the butch that has the courage to go out into an unaccepting, unforgiving world to be exactly who and what they are

Ugh, I have a typo here, and can't go back to edit my post. I meant to say:
"I do not want to make men like me, because Femme ist my identity."

I blame it on the almost full moon. Probably some sort of freudian slip...

Seven years ago, on May 28th @ approximately 4:30 in the afternoon, I wrote about the Femme in me. Everything I wrote about describes me in ways that still hold true today. :hk28:

What kind of femme am I?
 

Casual mainly - I can dress up, but prefer that to mean lingerie rather than heels and hose. I don't like heels. I'm sandals or crocs or a pair of dancing ankle boots.
I'm a true Taurus - stubborn. I have an easier time saying "you're right" than "I'm wrong."
I'm a high school drop out which you'd never guess.
I'm an introvert for my energy and still somewhat shy. Much less so now than 20-30 years ago.
I can make myself blush completely unintentionally. Sometimes I truly don't hear the double entendre until after I've said it.
I blush fairly easily for 58. I used to think you outgrew blushing.
I'm not big on makeup. I've never used foundation as I'm just fine with my blemishes.
I have a very good memory. Being told to suck in my tummy when I was 10. Being told someone had a good dermatologist who could deal with the blotch near my eye in my 40s. Self image is a struggle, but not enough of one that I didn't ask the woman with the dermatologist why she thought I'd go to one.
I find confrontation uncomfortable (thanks mom.) To my detriment, I'd rather ignore some things for the sake of my comfort level. But there is a limit.
I'm unwilling to go to sleep angry.
I overanalyze.
I take people at face value and haven't been burned for it.
I've never wanted children and have had none, but I'm very nurturing.
I'm a masochist who has a low pain threshold, until I'm flying on endorphins.
I've fought my submissive side most of my life, but now am more open to it.
I bought Variations magazine in my teens and knew I was not nilla.
I knew at 14 I liked girls and knew that wasn't safe.
I'm the world's best represser as I rediscovered liking girls at 37.
I thought I was asexual in between which made no sense to me.
I actually asked a therapist if there was anything wrong with being happy I was a lesbian.
My first 4th of July with a beach picnic put on by a dyke motorcycle group I was told I wouldn't have been picked up to be taken to the beach (had to park far away) as I didn't look like a lesbian. Stupid woman - her, not me.
As soon as I came out, I went to the gay bookstore and bought them out. Persistent Desire was a godsend.
There are shiny things and squirrels in my world on a fairly frequent basis.
I love painted toenails and fingernails.
I'm adopted and pro-choice. Had I ever become pregnant, abortion would have been my option.
I have only ever been attracted to those on the butch end of the scale. It's the required energy to make parts of me come to life - and that's my grey matter which controls other parts as well.
I enjoy having the door held open for me and have no problem holding the door open for others. If I don't get an acknowledgment for doing so, I'm prone to telling them "you're welcome" in a loud tone of voice.
I said thank you to the man who stole my wallet because he let me go ahead of him in a turn style. Manners count.
I can swear and do, but mostly not where I can be overheard.
I kill spiders without hesitation and can kill cockroaches but prefer to let someone else do that if possible.
I'm learning to change the oil on my generator.
I love to cook for friends. and lovers. I love the sense of community that can generate. I love taking care of you and being taken care of.
There's more of course, but some things should be left to discover.
Oh - I don't have femme friends in r/t. They're few and far between. I'd like some though.

I think maybe these days I don't feel like a femme anymore. I felt so solidly femme for a long while - even with my gender stuff which is sort of dual. But I cut my hair off a year ago and I feel weird lately if I wear something that feels too girly and I just kind of feel like that part of me has died. Every once in a while maybe I can still access that part of me, but less and less often. It's like one day I walked through a doorway and that part of me stayed behind.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to see how people identify like every 5 years. How static is identity, especially if you are lgbtq+? How often do people who identify as butch or femme find that one day they no longer are? I don't know. I only came back to post this because sometimes people like other things I have posted here and it makes me feel odd now, feeling less and less that femme is an identity I can rightly claim.

Maybe one day I will walk through some other doorway and find that part of me eagerly waiting. I do not know.

A thoughtful question given the spectrum. Moving within the femme end and moving within the butch end are probably both expected to a certain degree. Moving to a different side of the spectrum may be less common, but uncommon can be a wonderful thing. As long as it feels right to you enjoy you.

That sounds somewhat similar to my experience. Earlier today, I found my photo album, which had been AWOL for several months, which includes one of the best photos ever taken of me, nearly thirty years ago. In it, I have permed hair, gold earrings and a gold writswatch with a thin strap, and I'm wearing a simple strapless red dress that ended at the knee, and 1.5in heel court shoes, and I'm holding a maroon clutch bag. My nails back then were still extremely strong, and they were long, perfect ovals, and painted, and my face made up. I looked very much the femme, and felt perfectly happy so, although back then I was also very nervous, lacking the self confidence that I have today. Back then, at work I wore a nice grey skirt-suit from Long Tall Sally, with slightly flatter court shoes, and a white blouse. I was a size (UK) 14. 38-28-38 and 5ft 11 (175cm) tall.

Contrast today. I'm sat at my PC wearing camo leggings and a camo shirt/jacket (over a 'Strangers in Paradise' T-shirt), no makeup because I havent left the flat today, but if I do apply any makeup, it's foundation and lippy only. My most common attire is walking boots, black jeans, black tank-top and often a large, long thick grey buttonless waistcoat with deep pockets, topped off with a black brimmed hat. I do occasionally still wear skirts, but I don't do femme the way I used to partly because I haven't a good figure and it's hard to look good in form-fitting skirts or dresses if you have a bit of a pot belly (I went up to a size 22 at one point - down to an 18 now), partly because I can no longer see well enough without glasses to do more elaborate makeup, and partly because I can't be bothered to try to achieve a femme look when I can far more easily achieve a reasonable and distinctive tomboy look. (It's good enough that I still get straight guys making passes at me every few weeks. Sigh... - but hey it's still a compliment, right? :-})

I realised at some point that what matters to me most is not what my appearance is, but that I look reasonably good at whatever style I'm wearing. Also, I have lost that slight sense of otherness compared to cis-women that bedeviled me for many years, and no longer think of myself as trans-anything, my primary identity being, simply, lesbian. Being introvert, I've been a natural wallflower, but that was fiercely reinforced by a lot of personal paranoia due to life experiences. Recently, I've got over most of those, partially aided by chatting with a therapist. And I positively want to chase women and chat them up, I've just had few opportunities to do so since gaining the level of confidence I now have.

So what does that make me? Durned if I know - but I don't actually care except insofar as it's good to be both self-aware and aware of how others perceive onself. I've tried, just for the fun of it, comparing myself to lesbians on film or on YouTube. Am I more/less femme/butch than her? Who makes me swoon/melt? Would I be the butch to her femme or the femme to her butch or would we be kinda equals even if somewhat different? What I don't do is try to nail myself down with labels, because that way can lie madness if there is no label that clearly fits you well.

So yeah, I've had the startling experience of being thought to be butch when I started off as femme. But as well as my appearance having changed, so too have some of my attitudes, whilst others always were tomboyish. I'm not as pretty as I once was, but I still cry at the drop of a hat if something moves me sufficiently, and i love cats and bunnies and pretty stuff - and beautiful machinery, military history, etc. I can bake cakes and, at a pinch, fix stuff. IF I managed to regain something like a decent figure, I'd quite happily see if I could carry off a 'glamourous gran' look occasionally, just for the fun of seeing the reaction of folk who've seen me only looking tomboyish this last couple of years and a bit of a drab for several years previous. But I think the only label that approximates what I am now is tomboy.

All I know for certain is I'm being the best me I can be. If anyone doesn't like that, tough. Their problem, not mine! :-}

(added in edit - I've just remembered- the second best photo taken of me was at the end of 2016, one of only four ever taken of me on skates in my derby gear - despite which, with my hair falling forward across my shoulders, I look quite girly as well as slightly menacing!)