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Quote:
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From the Super Bowl on screen information....
"The Tight End Comparison"
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"Your zipper just went in my eye"
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HAHAHHAHAHAHHAH
Its butter,,,its not a medicine,,,its a condiment
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"I could probably still do it, with a pole that had the right length and weight..."
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"you need to go get yourself a new nipple
the one that's on there now is old, worn out and no good" |
As seen posted in the produce department:
"ripe for tonight" |
Said during a meeting of "Professionals" at work today...
"We really need to troll around, and then present this in a vanilla way"
and... "You're really only looking at his package" |
heard on a local news segment this morning describing the winter fest:
"thousands of holes have been drilled this morning." yes, my depraved mind did indeed go there. |
Overheard my roomie on the phone yesterday...
"you wanna pull on my nut?" :blink: |
Overheard in my sister's kitchen . . . " I want the ball sauce on my pasta."
:blink: |
At the grocery store...
"Actually, it took me longer because I'm talking to you, usually I'd be in and out pretty quickly...."
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"It was pretty sticky when I touched it." :|
Overheard thru the curtain in the ER last night. |
Spoken by Chris Harrison (of The Bachelorette fame) while guest hosting on Access Hollywood Live and in reference to a performer appearing on SNL:
"He does a great show and his bits are phenomenal." |
"Oh, I almost fell on your lips" |
After removing items from my bag:
Clerk "do you need a bag today" :blink: Same observant clerk "you realize you are wearing two different ear rings" Me "every day" :blink: |
"It's not going to be a long list, I'm not over-packing this year, I can't, I'm flying"
"When you pack stuff that you end up not using, or wearing...Of course you don't know that while you're packing, you think..Well...I might wear that, and it does give you other wardrobe opportunities..." |
"If I have dry hands, I may just go over and get a couple squirts..."
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I am sure this is not an unexpected post...
"They just don't make them wieners long enough."
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"You can't poke it gently. You have to stick it in hard in order for the stuff to come out" :pointing:
Overheard conversation about breaking the seal on a new tube of super glue. |
"That's why you get the extra long bun length ones" and... "FYI, your box is full" |
"Once this ball gets wet, its game over". :|
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"Have you ever tried the Bush?" (referring to a Fried chicken place :|)
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I can push it back a little further until you get off. it = my work break get off = end of work day apparently i'm dating someone with a dirty mind since she was the one to point it out to me :laughin: |
Me (talking about one of the systems at work that went down): "Can you get it up Charlie?"
Charlie (taking it out of context): "I'm not that past my prime Hollylane" My response: :| |
just because its tight doesnt mean it wont fit!
if i slap it any harder i'll have to take it home with me look,i told you,you have to get on your knees to get it. ETA: just read on yahoo. "swimmer rips suit,tops Phelps" :blink: |
I'm not going to break it; I'm going to break it in.
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So tonight, you are gonna lay on the bed, and I am gonna lay it on top of you.... :praying:
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"Okay...I'm being good 'cause you're inside."
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"It's not always the size that matters, sometimes it's all about the cream..." :superfunny:
Said at a team meeting when a couple staff were discussing and comparing the two cakes for the director's birthday celebration. |
"does it hurt, leave your knee unsettled or have no effect at all?"
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Charlie the co-worker again...
"Are you going to eat that, or just keep walking around smelling it?"
and... "She's had that banana up her nose for about 15 minutes now" |
on my facebook page, we had fun with:
"Got a BJs (discount store) membership today." |
Recenlty overheard at a crowded & noisy restaurant (a befuddled Maitre D' trying to confirm a reservation by phone):
"The reservation is for a BJ?" [Nope, it wasn't THAT kind of an establishment.] |
:sunglass:"about time you went down on it"
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"Could he shoot a few blanks?"
[Instructions for a photographer spoken to a business associate. Also falls into category of That Awkward Moment.] |
From an email I just sent to my Rabbit Advocate and hay supplier friend...
Hay Jan, I mean Hey Jan... I hope you and your buns are doing good. |
Why didn't you wet the tip first?
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" We were never together. But I had to break up with her like 10 times." LMAO
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"I have one eye. You have two heads."
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