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Butterbean, I disagree with your quote from Buddha. I know for me it doesn't fit. I was dropped on my head by my brother when I was a day old. There is nobody to blame, it was an accident, pure and simple. I think pretty much most of us here are not responsible for their neurological disorders. They are inherited, or caused by disease, or an accident such as an in my case. Peace, Andrew |
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I don't think this quote from Buddha is assigning blame at all, rather it is about what we do with our lives—how we choose to respond to what comes our way, whether it be illness, events that traumatize us, or our inherited genes. We do make choices; regardless of things we have no control over, there remain some, which we do. Despite the challenges we may have in life, we can write our own story. |
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Yes, we can have a great attitude and we can live right and healthy but some things are out of our control. My opinion. |
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Cool! Then we agree :) PS, I meant I do not agree entirely with Buddha, but agree with you that he was likely not trying to assign blame. |
Exactly, Liam. Your explanation is so perfect, I'll leave it at that. Why meddle with perfection? LOL
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Everyone has their own story to tell, not just the sick. What about the poor, the needy, the wealthy, the independent, the dependent, and so on and on? |
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Hi Liam, :smelling-flower: I have heard of that saying, but didn't know it was the = to Buddha's quote. Now, I am more confused than ever. My apology if what I stated came out wrong or confusing. That was not my intent. Peace, Andrew |
'it's not what we're dealt, it's how we deal'.
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Belle, Thank you! As always, you are good with this for me. ox, Andrew :bbq: |
and, we don't have to agree to still like each other! :)
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I always, forever, and a day tangle up words in sentences. It is just how it is with me. Like salt on chips. :heartbeat: |
It especially happens when I speak aloud. My words can get all jumbled, or I pause to not stutter and people think I don't know words.
Ehhhhhhh.... But hey, its SPRING! |
Yes it is. :cowboihorse: |
I find it worth noting how differently we all process things even though we are all on the spectrum.
Like for me, I process historical details like Buddha lived around 2600 years ago, was allegedly the son of royalty and left his family for monastic life after seeing how things were outside his sheltered existence. People back then knew nothing of germs, viruses (or virii...I ponder this too. lol) then I am on to DNA. From DNA I jump to how easy it is to make pronouncements like say the Dalai Llama does...about giving up all expectations to be happy, when you are hanging out at the Ritz Carlton with Richard Gere and all of your needs are taken care of...so you have no day to day stress other than wanting to get back to Tibet, where you have really never lived....and on and on I spin... When really, all that is meant is do your best with what you have. I am sooo too literal. :annoyed: with myself. |
jen,
for me it's usually 'patterns and connections' processing. i can do what you are describing as well, and tend to learn [from previous experiences] by patterns and connections. maybe lots of people process like that- but it might not be as rigid as it could possibly be for some aspies? i met with some friends last evening, and we were watching film. there was someone crying in a scene, and i asked why he [the character] was so upset? one of my friends said it was because the character had to do something very unpleasant, and he did not wish to carry out the act. well, i watched and waited for a few moments for the 'unpleasant act' to appear, and when it did not happen, i really felt convinced that i'd missed something kind of big. my friend looked over and said to me, 'oh, it hasn't happened yet! ;) working for a tree committee years ago, i was driving the little truck and the founder was passenger. he said to me, 'you will need to turn ... ' and i guess he had a spot picked out in his line of sight [some sort of invisible unspoken indicator?] but i didn't know what he meant, so i turned the wheel immediately. afterwards, he commented to me- 'i know now how this [aspergers] works. ha. i think for me sometimes, the time frame is different than NT's- i feel like i am in the moment right then of the crying scene or the turn, et c. hope this is helpful and makes sense! ox |
Belle, that totally makes sense, I have almost driven into someones yard that way. :)
And yes, I base my behaviours on previous similar situations. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Or, I wayyyyyy over think. On another note, Saturday I met your 9 year old Aspie friend. GRIN. We talked about books and reading. What a beautiful girl. She reminded me of me at that age in thought. |
well, then she is ever so lucky to have made your acquiantance, sweet jen :)
i adore her, and cannot wait to see her again :writer: [her mom too!] what does your week look like? things are fairly quiet here with the animal control, humane society, and the committee work. sometimes, i check the phone to see if it's still working. other times, it rings like mad. love to you! liam, where are you? do you want to fly a kite later this afternoon? just come over! ;) belle ox |
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I'm in Park County! After spending two days kicking rocks, I'm taking it easy today. Kite flying would be better here, I think, come on over!! |
Flying kites sounds wonderful, the sky is blue and there is a nice breeze.
No too busy of a week, work and stuff. In 2 weeks I get to go see my sister and her 2 kids in LA. I am so excited! I hope I will get to see our friend and her Mom again soon too. :) |
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:praying::D |
Peace and all good, just for today. :praying::cigar::gimmehug: |
I hope you are all having a fabulous week. We will be hitting Nashville on Thursday afternoon.
My Aspie son is in what I am refer to as a meltdown. Its just not a good situation and I am finding that the older/more mature he becomes, the more rigid and resolute he is in his way of thinking/viewing a situation than ever before. I don't know how much of this is just his growing up and how much of his inability to listen to other points of view is attributed to his wiring. (Or that it even matters which it is) Please keep us in your thoughts as we try to navigate the situation and hope we make the best decision for him. Its already been a long week and its just Tuesday. :wallbreak: |
dear christie,
my thoughts are with you and your family, during this time of your son experiencing meltdown issues. :smelling-flower: not a very amusing situation at all for anyone involved [aspie/family/friends], and i do hope the reason[s] for the upset resolves quickly. best, belle |
Meltdown. I get that.
I think I am dancing on the edge of one myself. I hope he and you feel way better way fast! :) |
this happened to me today during a phone conversation;
i was wondering if any of you have ever been in the presence of someone who couldn't understand meaning of your words, and so their voice raised at you [question mark- my keyboard is acting strange]. that makes me upset, and i realise that i've been frustrated too, during conversations with nt's [caps not working either], whenever i must repeat myself multiple times. after a while, i am really worn out- patience, even tone, and consistency work best for me. belle |
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and yes I am so very worn out. I hope everyone feels better! Hugs! PS, and I hate it when people raise their voices for pretty much any reason. |
Belle, My answers are YES, YES, and YES. I am over-cooked now. At 46yo I am done. Society doesn't care, families are worn out, and there isn't too much help in terms of the medical community. Plus I have no faith in the medical community at all. Zero. When people raise their voices to me like I am stupid, lazy, deaf, or whatever, it makes the situation worse. I am not deaf, lazy, or stupid. I have a delay in how I process verbal communication. :flasher: |
Thank you all for the warm thoughts :) We really appreciate your support. Its been a very, very trying time and the manipulation techniques Bratboy is utilizing is just wearing us out.
I had a lil retail therapy tonight at BooksAMillion - I picked up this one: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Adolescents-Autism-Spectrum-Transition-ofTeenagers/dp/B000HT2P0C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269994432&sr=1-1"]Amazon.com: Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent's Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs ofTeenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders: Chantal Sicile-Kira, Temple Grandin: Books[/ame] Have any of you read it? |
A friend of mine and I were out to dinner last night and she said to me that she felt that something was different with her grand baby. She is not quite 2 years old. Some of the things that she mentioned made me wonder if she was somewhere in the autistic spectrum, she feels the same. Do any of you have a recommendation of books or resources that she could read up on especially about young children? The easiest read possible the better.
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A lot of states have a program called First Steps that provides early intervention services for children between birth and three years old. It's for a child that is not developing typically in at least one of the following skill areas: communication, cognition, physical, social and emotional or self-help. I will find the information for Washington and PM you. I am having a hard time finding it right now as First Steps in WA is something else. |
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When Bratboy was diagnosed an aspie, AS had only been in the DSM for right at two years. Resources were unheard of and the OASIS site and community provided answers for me. The community went on to publish a book The Oasis Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. While your friend's grandaughter might not be an aspie, I would start with this link http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ and then look at the other Spectrum diagnoses from there. I also think that the suggestion for First Steps is a good one. You might also check with the local children's hospital to see if they have a Department specializing in assessment and diagnosis. I think the blessing in having a young child diagnosed on the spectrum today as opposed to 1995 is the amount of resources, information, advocacy and awareness present. Many of the challenges I faced would be mere blips on the radar today. Best of luck to your friend. Christie |
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I think First Steps is perfect for them. They are not readers or the kind to research something. I also think that they have the same thought process that I have which is start with a Dr and then a possible onslaught of drugs or misdiagnosis. It is grandma who is seeing the behaviour and mom is a bit touchy about the topic. To know that First Steps can help them evaluate her behaviour first without a Dr is really perfect. Thank you all.
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Thank you all for your support during what has probably been one of the most trying weeks as a parent.
We arrived in Nashville yesterday and I think I have effectively diffused the situation. Bratboy isn't happy with me right now, but as I learned long ago, sometimes being a good parent isn't always rainbows and butterflies. I am certain he will be just fine and it won't be long till he needs $ for internet clothes for his avatar and I will be his newest best friend again. LOL |
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leaving home- where everything is more or less predictable, to go on a trip- even the planning of one, or being witness to other people arranging details, can initiate anxiety. when i was a bratgirl [ha] puzzle piece went missing as to why i would encounter such anxiety/touchiness round the time of some sort of big event - other than the juncture itself.
a mind works incredibly fast, yet i believe noteworthy / situational links also can get overlooked with such a rapid firing of certain neurotransmitters. of course, there are neurotransmitters involved in and responsible for producing anxiety and depression. each time i pull out of the drive, the world becomes fickle. i cannot access knobs for immediate protection to all of the senses, should that need arise- volume, being the one of most concern. |
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