bring "I masterfully understood your convoluted tangent story and constant babble" in exchange for one demand that might piss me off. You are also welcome to dance in irritating lawn mower like arm thrusts and sing song "yaaaaaaaaah ha ha, you gotta!"

It wasn't easy but I get it.. I get it! lol

I don't know if you dancing like an irritating lawn mower is what I had in mind for my prize but it's a start.

well, some people think its fun to make a femme huffy while making them do a dare. I get the thrill of that. But then, I'm 12.

Oh don't get me wrong... I do like seeing a good femme foot stomp from time to time but I always want more. What can I say?


So that I'm not derailing this thread too much...

Something you should never say on a date to someone (and no I haven't said!)


Damn, I can't believe I got a real date! When I get home, my mom is going to be so proud....

things you should never say to me, personally (and yes they all happen):

- talk about what celeb you want to fuck :blink:

- Ask me, after me telling you that monogamy is a commitment for me, that in order to give you a "chance," at the cake part of our first date, I should be monogamous with you now, since we are now "dating" and you only monogamously date. That waiting for both people to be ready for a commitment is unfair.:firetruck:

- "just come casual. you don't need to dress up. just come in whatever. I'm good with regular clothes (meaning, their clothes), why do you need to dress up? it's just coffee. " *stabs out own eyes in frustration* why do butches here do this to me? I need 90 minutes to clean up from school (bathe, shave, put on make up, do hair, put on something that isn't oil wrecked sports clothes, my school wear). argh!!! NO.

- the "I want a date but I'm too shy to ask for one so i'm going to make a massage appointment" ploy. Yes, I actually DO know that's what you are doing. And boy are you going to get a shock when you actually get round to asking me... when I tell you I can't date you because you are now a patient and even if I don't see you as a patient again, I need to legally have a year between out last clinic appointment and our first date. SUPRISE! Don't cha just wish you'd sucked it up and asked me?? :D

- "well, to be totally honest, the reason I stopped off at home was to borrow money from my girlfriend and the reason we ate pizza in the van on the warf with the back doors open to the view (something I thought was rather cool, I enjoyed that...) was because I didnt want anyone in the pizza place to see me with you."
"Oh. Ok. Im just going to get us beers. Stay right there" And I got my coat from the check, next to the bar, walked out through the fire door by the bar and caught the first bus going anywhere on the street outside.

Telling me all about your therapy sessions ... not coffee date conversation material.

Or spending the entire date telling me how amazing/ brilliant /famous you are. Although the dead owl landing in your arms during a protest march captivated my rapt attention. Then I knew you were an oracle.

Taking me for a hike and expecting me to "put out" in a public area with children in the area. Are you insane? Not a rhetorical question. Really. Are you frickin' insane? I don't even know your address!

Crying and getting angry at me because it's your birthday tomorrow and I didn't buy you dessert after dinner. One.... you never told me it was your birthday .... two... I'm not your exe that used your money to buy your birthday presents.... three ... you are a therapist. Take your own advice.

Lesson 371 don't be friends with a therapist who needs therapy.

bumping! Cuz it's my vicarious thrill.....(f)

I'm sure if someone said they wanted to eat my face, I wouldn't be very happy. (Can't get out of zombie mode today) THANKS OREMA!
Now if they just started eating it, that would just be rude!

"You remind me of a few of my exes"

Or.....you remind me of my sister/mother/aunt.

You know right then and there that you will NOT be doing sex....and if you did...that would be sooo creepy...just sayin'.

Bumping for the new peeps...and cuz its my vicarious thrill...

"I'll have the asparagus. "

Oh...I have many to say but think I will just observe.

These are hilarious!

"Would you mind grabbing the cheque? I just realised I'm supposed to meet someone at the bar tonight and I'm already an half hour late. I'll try to call you sometime next week, if I can."

"Your head would look good in my freezer."

you remind me of my..
(mom)
(sister)
(ex gf)

Comparing anything or anyone towards your date is just plain no no!

"I'm sorry, but you are going to have to climb in on the driver's side. The passenger door doesn't open."

This wasn't really a date...but telling my dad that you used to beat people with soap-stuffed socks when you were in the military does not go over well at all.

Oh, I love this place. It was my ex's favorite restaurant.

If you have an awkward first kiss, do not blame it on your date by saying their mouth might be too big. :|

Never, ever...EVER!
 

You're my idea of the perfect woman...only bigger. :|

I'm going on a date this Sunday, I don't drink Alcohol, she loves to drink and we are going to a Venue..
I also find her Irish Accent so strong i cant understand her at times, so then i feel embarrassed, but she is cuddly and lovely , inked all over (so i believe).
She also doesn't give a s##t that i'm M-T-F, had no idea till i told her, as i felt it was best to be honest.
So as long as can try really hard to understand her, which will be harder after shes had about 10 pints of ale, all should be good.
Trying to be aware and accepting of peoples cultural and linguistic differences can be hard sometimes.
Thick IRISH BROGUE, Is another language !!!

I forgot my wallet. Can you cover the tab?

A butch said to me...

I don't know why i asked you out, i usually only date other butches. :confused:

Never ask any classy Femme her age!

I consider A/all Femmes classy!

Very smart answer...lol :)

Date in question asked: "Is your hair the same color, as your pubis."
I responded: "Maybe, btw are you packing a softie, or are those bunched up grannie panties."

Do you carry? (followed by)
I prefer knives

(this really happened!)

"Hi, nice to meet you. Did you know that being Gay is a sin and you are going to go straight to Hell when you die?"

Date: "Can we share a salad, I'm on a diet."
Me: "So is your wallet."

"You don't look like a lesbian"