Actually it was Saturday night. I have my alert tone set to a laser sound. Its loud enough to wake me.

My sister was texting me from work and said she would get back to me after work. I fell asleep about 12:15, woke up at 2am thinking she must have forgotten me. I grabbed my glasses and picked up my phone, there was 44 text messages. This means my laser that would wake the dead went off 44 times and I was so hard asleep I didnt hear it. I read them all and text her back. She text me right back and said where the hell you been? LOL duh what could I say? I said I guess I fell asleep. She said what the hell are you doing awake now? Chuckling....I said well after my phone blew up 44 times I figured Id better check it out. She said you a damn liar that was hours ago.

*snicker
 

We wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So we met with our lawyer yesterday, and on her advice we wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that any country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).

Skippy the famous chihuahua has been glued to his daddy since 6am this morning when he started preparing treats and other goodies for tomorrow...everywhere Skip's daddy went, Skip was on his heals. They have had a very busy morning. ...When Blade was done in the kitchen, he went to his bedroom to wrap gifts...Skip was right behind him, his little nails skittering on the hardwood floors....
Well...I guess he got bored watching his daddy make a mess of wrapping paper and boxes, because he just came running out to me, jumped on my lap, got very comfy using my leg as a pillow, and very quickly was snoring contently.
He's a warm little bug!!
I guess he's been going full steam all morning and needed a nap.

This morning, my neighbor was checking his fluids in his car and adding antifreeze to his engine. My cat loves this guy, so he see's him out in front of the car, saunters on over and stretches up on the grill with his paws to see what he's doing. I laughed and said Buddy (my cat's name) what are you doing over there? MY cat jumps up on the engine, starts walking around looking down and the neighbor guy turns to me and says..........he's gonna check my oil for me........
Made me laugh, cause my cat loooked like he was doing something up on that motor. LOL

Dad to Mom...Did you throw that wisk broom out of my van and into the yard

Mom..no, I didn't clean out the van you did

Dad..well I didn't do it

Mom..well I guess someone just came up in the yard and said hey lets clean out this van. Then decided naaa lets just take this broom out of it and throw it in the yard.

Chuckles..they have hourly spats like this, sometimes it is really a tale of who has the most wit. Visiting sometimes it is like refereeing at the rest home.

After taking Mom on an all day excursion and missing the game I wanted to watch I finally made it home about 8. Got almost all of my treasures in the house and my phone rang.

In a gruff loud almost drunken voice, I her FL say where the hell are you at
me...standing in my kitchen, I just got home
FL...why the hell aint you at my house
me...I didnt kniw I was suppose to be
FL....my wife said she text you
me...she said we are having our gettogether this Sat. I thought she was talking about YOUR FAMILY
FL...you are my family and you've got about 30 minutes to get here, maybe 45 and Im coming after ya. Dont make me come after ya

omg did he get ripped, I did not, but had a good time
he was quite the entertainment last night

really? what a maroon who did this. *wink* or....a devilish sense of humor.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...dc8b0ba3c6.jpg

book nerd humor :)
 

I laughed because it's true!

http://i.imgur.com/vSMbJjk.png

In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

I almost wet myself when he started saying, "I know my rights! I know ..." Too funny.

:rofl:

And when he tried to crawl back up on the tractor.

Made my morning!

Here's another for y'all's entertainment...
 

I love that he kept raising the lift to taunt the officer. LOL

It's not a new video, but it makes me LOL every time.