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A guy on the checkout at the discount supermarket.
I'd bought a large jar of Colman's English Mustard, w/collectors label, and decided to get the other items I wanted at the other supermarket across the road. Going through the checkout the dude asked in the most deadpan manner "...and is this the extent of your weekly shop this week Sir?" Not exactly funny but cracked me up :jester: |
Oh it was Mom again
Mom I sent your Dad to Hardee's and told him to get us 2 #8's and a small drink. When he came back and handed her the bag, she said this isn't a Hardee's bag. He said, It ain't? She said no it isn't, it says Taco Bell. |
Hiking along the trail at the Falls today and there were parts that were a sheet of ice .. I did really good for the most part till my feet just went out from under me and bam I went sprawling cracked my self up and was very glad NO ONE saw it :blush:
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My friends when I see them. So ones that are popping out to me are how one of them said at the sight of fighter jets due to Drill Weekend:
"They should land and **** me!" my response? "I was thinking the same thing." *insert horrible attempt at a high five* & this gem: "Wow, that is a deep filing cabinet!" "That's what she said!" Yes We joke around like teenage boys. It is entertaining :) |
Saw Carlos Mencia last night.. him plus his two opening acts has me laughing so, so hard.
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and this is how you poke somebody :koolaid:
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My new, sweet, rescued, short-legged pup....how he is my shadow and velcro dog...and his comical nature...and THOSE FUNNY EARS!!
then my darling luv bug, adorable smooch pooch WooBear...how he drives me batty that he loves to drag his belly thru the dirt and "waller" in the leaves and mud. a big mud puppy! 3 of the 4 dogs got their first spring bath tonight....little Skippy cracks me up when he does the doggy paddle in mid air before he gets to the tub. |
...oh only that I was heating the kettle.... and turned on the empty burner and melted a plastic dish ...
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A few things.................
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Twas the other day...and I had to laugh on the inside..
My brother took in a stray cat. He told me he felt bad because the cat's eye was watering...and he was worried it would freeze in the cold... I guffawed on the INSIDE...my poor brother. I did hit him pretty hard in the head with a snowball...a time or two... |
Cracked up
My kitty loves to "help" me change the bed sheets. She is a real comedian and I ended up laughing at her for all the silliness,
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My manager....
I had a meeting at work today. I walked in and immediately asked where her dog was...I loveee him! I said very loudly "where's my love muffin??!!" (He usually comes to that...lol) and my scheduling manager walked in from the other room and said "I'm right here..." all sultry n shit lol I heart my job... |
I unpacked my French press and was reading the warnings..
One said "children and hot liquids should be kept apart". I just thought the wording was odd...lol |
A local news channel...
They did the weather...its all pretty hokey...bad graphics etc. For tonorrow it says "pretty nice" then 2 days of "heavy rain" then after the rain it will e "finally nice". It struck me funny...and I was happy for the giggle.. |
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http://ghk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/11/...hanger-lgn.jpg |
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Omg I think about that alllll the time. I also think in future there will be warnings on bathroom cleaners for people who clean their showers while they're showering. Yeah. That will totally be all.me lol |
Stupid smart phone. While texting with Mom, I was responding using the voice thing because I was eating. I was telling her what I had picked up at the yard sale. I said "yes an umbrella...but nothing came up on my screen. So again I said a big umbrella, umbrella. I looked at the screen and it said umbrella bella big ass. I was like what the heck? I laughed til I hurt.
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OK, this actually happened yesterday.
I'm trying to use up all the odds and ends in the pantry before I move. I had this bag of rice. You know the boil in the bag kind. It was the last bag, so I do remember cutting the directions off the box and taping it to the bag. Boil 1 1/2 cups of boiling water, add rice, turn down heat, cover, for 10 min. Ok, so I go back to check rice, poke at it with a fork. Hmmm, the rice in the bag, is acting like uncooked rice. Hard, making that rice rubbing sound. So I go pull the cut out directions from the trash. It says, add rice. Umm, apparently it's not a boil in the bag kind! |
Today I heard from a woman that I've " been talking to" for a couple months... she cracks me up with how fast she wants us to move, and her lack of tact (being very descriptive about the kind of sex she would like to have with me), and how she pushes those boundaries I put up during our first date of FRIENDS ONLY...then in the next breath she said she had gotten so drunk that she had to call another female friend over to help put together an entertainment center, but instead took this friend to bed. I enjoy talking to her most times but other times she cracks me up.
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