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where is Braedon???? |
it's getting to be late here and that I should probably get going!
It's been great hanging out here tonight and winding down after a long day! *good night and sweet dreams to all* :moonstars: |
When I find myself down, the world looks one way. When I find hope again, it looks another way. But it hardly ever looks like I am getting even a tenth done of what I should. I really do admire the industrious.
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So... I lost my drivers licence about three hours before we were heading out to San Antonio... I was decluttering my purse and couldn't find it any where.. I remembered having it the day before when I went to the bank, but couldn't find it after I cleaned out my car.. Uh Oh... So I had tossed the trash from my car into the dumpster at Micheles work.. Nods.. I went dumpster diving on the way to the airport... No.. DL... Damn.. where did it go... I made it through security on a wing, a prayer and a 20 yr old ID from missouri... So.. The other day I head out to the DMV to replace my DL... Go in.. fill out paper work.. Wow, twenty people ahead of me... I know.. I will run out to the car and grab a book... I get back into the DMV and flip my book around... Out flies my DL... The books in the back seat were orgn on my passanger seat.. The one that I grabbed had been in my purse, but got tossed into the back seat because the book sucked.. (I didn't remember it until I started reading it again..) So.. I blew out my hair and put on full face make up in 87% humitity for nothing... Grin... I still have until 6-12-10 to get a new one... Yea.... |
someone who is far
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i am thinking about my extra credit assignment for college and trying to get motivated to start it ...
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A memory from long ago. *sigh*
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Kindness and compassion (f)
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her - - wishing I could be closer.
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My heart...
I was thinking how by loving people we change.. for better and for worst.. When I was young, I was teased about my pollyanna view on the world.. My rose colored glasses were perment... It was because I had never been tested... My heart had never really been broken, I had never experenced any real loss.. I had never really loved deeply.. The first time I loved deeply and lost... I had no idea what to do with the pain.. It happened so fast.. Simply, one day my world ended..I tried everything I knew to lessen the pain.. To be able to breath again..To the point of almost re-addicting to ANYTHING that might make it go away... I survived.. but changed.. that first bit of scar tissue on my heart... The second time I loved deeply and lost... It was a slow process that I could see happening, but couldn't change anything... It broke my heart.. That this shiny bright thing couldn't work... I survived... but changed... more scar tissue... The third time I loved deeply and lost... It was out of my control... One min it was there and then it was gone... My second worst fear come true... I thought I might go insane from the pain of it.. The world shifted again... I survived... but changed.... more scar tissue... Changed... that is the thing... You love someone enough to let them in.. That act in itself changes you... Makes you more than you were... It makes the risk of pain worth it... The learning, the lessons, the growth.. I learned so much about myself.. so many life lessons... so much about who I am.. Despite my worn, torn, patchwork heart... I still love.. I still am capable of giving love and receiving it.. I think.. It's different than when I was young and fresh... There are no stars in my eyes...While I still might swoon over words, over romantic gestures, my love is now rooted in reality.. in fact and deed... I now give my love based on respect and trust and friendship... Not because of a hand written book signed with a bloody thumb print.. Not because of words whispered in my ear... It's funny... I used to say that my partner was home, my safe haven from the world.. Now.. I have created a home within myself.. and in doing so, have become someone else's home.. someone else's safe haven from the world.. I like that I can offer someone what once was offered to me... I'm just going to do a better job of making sure it's true... |
I'm reading and watching a video on a dive to uncover Cleopatera's palace. But the oil spill is hampering divers and causing a nightmare for them.
The dispersants aren't working; they are causing the oil to disperse in small droplets which can enter the skins of fish and birds. I don't think I have ever been so pissed about a major fuck up like the oil spill. It's bad enough to see the oil spill from the air. Wait till you see the environment in the deep sea. http://news.yahoo.com/video/business...video=20027082 |
I think I am coming down with a cold.
I just stopped at my favorite bakery and they made me some delicious fresh squeezed OJ. I also picked up some "Pops" vitamin C. I am on fighting cold mode now. :blink: |
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it's weird b/c it doesn't seem like this spill is as much of a topic of conversation for people as the Valdez was, and this one is worse...i don't know if the implications are too staggering to get our heads around or what...they are comparing it to a pemex spill that took 9 months to cap i think...or maybe the media isn't covering it as fully or as shrilly as Valdez? is it just that we feel helpless? the govt and BP seem to be each pointing fingers at the other while avoiding the issue of whether or not anybody in the whole world is actually equipped to handle it |
What will I have when I have it?
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Sleep Sleep, more sleep and yet that is impossible.
So off the finish the linens and dinner. |
1. My sister's surgery went great. 1 plate, 4 screws...and she is back in one piece again. Now I just pray that her pain is as minimal as possible when the pain blocker wears off! I am glad she will start to heal from here...it is a relief...HUGE relief.
2. It's official, my first quarter of school is over and I have felt very emotional about that all day. I know people get tired of hearing me talk about it, but when it is something that horrified me for 20 years and I was too scared to take that step all these years, it feels pretty fucking fabulous to complete my first quarter with an all "A" report card! Nobody knows what this means to me today...I did it!! 3. Work sucks ass! Gotta pay a certain amount of money by Friday at 5 or they are kickin' us out...that means pops is scrapin' money together any way he can and I will have no paycheck again this week. I am going to start selling off things I do not use any more...I fucking hate Craigslist!! 4. I cannot WAIT to see these smiling faces in Little Rock in 86 days....I need some fuel in my tank...it is runnin' low! And an abundance of hugs wouldn't hurt one bit!! :winky: |
> > Cleopatra's Palace < < is in Egypt....it is flooded by approx. 20' of water ~ polluted water ~ but not from the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It was pretty much leveled by an earthquake in the 400's.
Also, there has been quite a bit of coverage on the [heinous] oil spill tragedy here in Austin. The oil has now reached the marshlands of Louisiana and they will never be the same. Unlike the Valdeeze tragedy, there will be much more of a long~term effect on the wildlife and countless jobs will be lost and may never be recreated again. The last I heard, over 20,000 people are working ~ and failing ~ on trying to keep the oil from destroying the coastline of LA......AND......if the oil travels into the current loop, and it travels east and south, the coral reefs of southern Florida risk being destroyed. So is that a big story? I'd say so. And...in the words of President Obama to a cabinet member, "Get the damn hole plugged!". Yeah....it's on my mind. |
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Fluids? A nice warm shower? |
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Fluids: Check A nice warm shower: Took one this morning, perhaps another one before bed? Thank you :) |
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CNN and the horror going on in the gulf. Wow. Just wow. The destruction of the marshes and breeding grounds. This is already a catastrophe.
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T-Fal look out fire ants here I come! Now what did I do with it, oh yeah in the building.......
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Just got contacted by University of Pheonix... wondering if I should sign up.. thier "councellor" aka salesman Craig, is suppose to call me tomorrow night with details. hmmmm Anyone have any experience with them?
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my sister has her Bachelor's from there and it "works" like any other Bachelor's (e.g. qualifies her for higher hourly wage than non-degree holders in same job) it is a legitimate degree and they worked her pretty hard |
my directors are blowing smoke up my heinie! it is time to write next year's budget and there are things i want for my department that they keep sending me back to "research" more...they are just trying to keep me busy "researching" until after the dealine passes and every time i send them the results of my "research" they act like they have no idea what i am talking about and ask me questions about stuff i explained three e-mails ago! i am smarter than i look, people! |
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Thanks dc... wanted to hear it from someone else before I listen to the sales pitch! lol
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Think my new favorite show comes on tonight.......ummmm I can't think of the name of it. It has Bear Grylls in it......
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I am using my central air for the first time..and it works. I cant believe I got this house for so little, and it all works, (knock on wood) and even if it didnt, it came with a year warranty...
how did I get so lucky? |
Happy to have finally braved the motor vehicle department and made myself street legal. I've been procrastinating it for over two years. *shaking head*
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Just how much a TRULY supportive presence in my life can make a real difference.... Just how much i didn't realize that what i was looking for was my Daddy, and how much i am glad to have Hym in my life.
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Good Evening Ms. Dark,
My former regional manager was like this. They all got a surprise when I was busting shit out of the top of my head after only being on the job for less than a year..The end result? I had a bad anxiety attack and quit my job less than three weeks later. This company worked me and several other managers to the bone and never thanked us for it... Have a good night! Zimmy Quote:
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Heya Ruthie,
Be careful of that sales pitch. The one DeVry gave me, sounded wonderful and I signed up for my Bachelors in the Business Information Systems and I graduated in 2006 but could never get a job in that field. I spent over $65 grand on that degree that I cannot use, since most companies here in Florida aren't hiring. If you can get into a state school, which is much cheaper, go that route. Private schools don't offer many grants or scholarships to their students. I loved the education I got from DeVry, but I ended up getting a job in retail to pay my bills and my student loans are still in deferment. Do some research on your own before the admissions rep contacts you again. I know DeVry has been involved in four class action lawsuits because of the untruths they told ppl. Hope this helps, Zimmy Quote:
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Pizza gave me heartburn
Waited to long to take a pill Betting I'll be up for hours before it'll let me sleep |
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omg i used to love "Man vs. Wild" but i don't have cable anymore...i am glad to hear he is still working though lol |
A friend from here whose Mom is quite sick. And my Mom, who is also battling cancer. And my neighbor whose husband passed away from cancer last week at age 61. And one of my closest girlfriends who had polyps removed this week and while in there, the doc found a something he was not expecting.
Prayers. |
On my mind today:
People think in polar terms. They bifurcate into black and white because the gray is either uncomfortable, scary, or a hue that they can't recognize. In the bifurcation process, something is lost. Erased. Crumbled. Smashed down. Cut a cake in half and dare it to happen without the tiniest crumb falling on the counter. Cut a baby in half and watch it die. Our need to parse, to label, to identify, to section, to separate is so great that we are willing to chance a loss, even the tiniest amount, to be comfortable. Sometimes we don't call it "parsing" or "sectioning", instead we say that it is better for the plant to snip off the extra leaves. Easier to eat the cake when it has been cut. Quicker to find our shoes if the box has a neat little label on it. We even go as far as to call that "work" when it is actually the avoidance of work. We call that "streamlining the process" when it actually hinders it on a greater scale. We call it "less messy" to cut the cake and let the crumbs fall where they will so that we have a nice, neat section of sweetness rather than digging into it with our hands and licking the crumbs from the counter since they, too, are part of the cake and took just as much effort to include. We do that because we are human, and humans like things to be as uncomplicated as possible. Every now and then though, there will be a rare soul who is willing to dig through the unlabeled shoeboxes in the closet just for the sheer joy of the hunt. The rare soul who will let the plant prune itself and be glad to marvel in the process. The hungry soul who, rather than chance losing one iota of morsel, will dive head first into the cake and lap it up as if bobbing for apples, icing coating their eyebrows, and the soft underbelly of chocolate or vanilla sponge coating the back of their throat. The sensitive who will defy the Soloman's of this world and say, "Do not cut the baby, let her live." |
medusa's post:
the other night i was eating a salad and half way through i noticed that i was using my fingers instead of the fork. and it was fun--i had bought this buttery baby organic lettuce and the feel of it was so soft and i didn't even stop myself after i realized--it was far too enjoyable to do something that was *bad* and it was like twice the experience of using a fork. :) |
We have another kitty with a mouth infection and I've called 3 vets in town to get prices for a swab and biopsy that our vet said Shadow would need to get to the core of her problem. Our country vet isn't equipped to do testing and the antibiotic Shadow has been on isn't working. Anyhow, I've been quoted anywhere from $200 to $400 depending on the tests and if she has to be put out to do them. Considering we already spend $200 a month on food and cat litter each month, this is way more than we expected. I thought I was falling apart before I started making calls because we lost Silver just after Christmas to this. I am now scared we will lose another one of our rescues and it really hurts. I even called the teaching school and they aren't any cheaper.
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i feel you on the vet bills! i have a fifteen year old rat terrier and his age seems to weigh a little heavier on him every day almost- and i love him beyond all reason- i have spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars just getting him through the last six months and i will continue to do so as long a God lets me keep him |
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