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I didn't bother to point out that she's Scoote...and I'm just gonna' make her carry me. :cheesy: |
I've missed this thread...
Rooster is laying on the couch, face down, watching TV...and Scoote and I are on the other end of the couch. Suddenly, we hear a quiet :fart: from the boy's direction. Silence. Scoote: I don't know boy...I wouldn't even waste time with those little ones. That's just a waste of air. :| |
Bumping for one but also.......
i think we need to keep this thread alive!!
so this wasnt at my house,but at work,which is sometimes like a second home--without all the nice amenities...anyway im sitting in my office doing the dreaded admin side of my job,and my driver walks in,plops her lazy ass in chair beside me and starts texting(which i dont mind if it isnt a constant thing and they have their work done...well instead of saying anything this happened Me: (casually shifting in my chair) Her: (sniffing) did you :passinggas: ? Me:does it smell like it? Her: yes Me: :| well then Her: you coulda warned me Me: it is MY office yanno Her: yeah but still Me: well i figured since i was paying you,id give you something to do |
In IM
Snack: I'm gonna go take a shower, be back later (bella jumps across computer and types) skd a jd Me: sorry, that was bella, talk to you later. (then a couple of minutes later) Snack: skAJDKFJASKL (seen this before and knows what it is) me: Oh hey Odie, how are you doing today. Our animals love messenger it seems. |
lol Belle....we have a kitten-male mr attitude tough guy who loves to walk on lil notebook-acting like he is reading or looking at whats on my screen...if he doesnt like it he will step on my keys like he is typing
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I've had a very rough day, and Scoote is sitting next to me as I order hoses and accessories for the central vacuum system online.
A few minutes later... Jo: Dang, I can't find my credit card...oh, there it is. Types numbers into the computer. Scoote: Honey, didn't you just buy a bunch of stuff a minute ago? Jo: Yes, that was the vacuum stuff. Scoote: What are you ordering now? Jo: This is the Great White pool cleaner thingie. Finishes typing, clicks send, puts away credit card. Scoote: Do you feel better now honey? Jo: Uh huh. :) |
While out shopping tonight....
Blade: I have to get home and feed the critters. I think I forgot to feed last night?
Sweet: Poor Trippie!! *funny sad face* Blade: Poor Trippie??? Sweet: Yeah, poor Trippie....he has a widdle belly, he can't go without eating for long. Blade: *laughs* widdle belly? Sweet: Yeah...he eats a widdle and then shits a widdle...then eats a widdle more. Blade: :superfunny: Sweet: poor Trippie...he eats a widdle shits a widdle! |
While having a conversation about Skippy licking my feet and then Tashi's ears....Sweet says don't let him lick her ears he's probably got athletes tongue from licking your feet....he's gonna give her athlete ears :blink:
note I do not have athlete's feet |
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Blade: what's wrong with that? Sweet: your feet are gonna smell like dog slobber!! eewwwww!! Blade: *laughs hard* you don't kiss my feet so what does it matter? Sweet: I don't kiss your ass either, but still!! eewww Skippy: *slurp slobber slurpppp slurp!* YES!!! Skippy is gonna get athletes tongue if he keeps that up!! YUCK!!! |
I have an admitted fascination for watching Miss Pinky getting ready to go out anywhere and spend a lot of time hanging out on the bed talking to her as she does all those magical girl things that she does...one of them being applying makeup....
Shad: "What's that your putting on now Pinky??" Pinky: "It's foundation" Shad: "That's the liquid stuff that's a base for other stuff, right? What color is it?" Pinky: " Yes. This is color is called 'Naked'." Shad: "If it's called Naked,then why are you bothering to put it ON?? Is it like the Empress' new makeup???" :seeingstars: |
Miss Pink commenting on an inane Dulcolax commercial while lying against my legs on the couch....
Miss Pink: "Why would anyone want to use a stool softener while on a plane??" Me: " I don't really know." Miss Pink: " I can't even PEE on a plane!!" Me: " I've tried, but I can't lift my leg much higher than the landing gear!" We both collapsed in gales of helpless laughter. |
Apparently This Happened Weeee Hours of The A.M.
This was just brought to my attention when on the phone with Ladi earlier:
(Phone rings) Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!! Me: "Hello"? Ladi: "Hi honey, how are you doing this morning"? Me: "Good, I just had some coffee, so I'm more alive and thank you for your little note" :eyebat: Ladi: "I guess you don't remember making funny sounds in your sleep" ? Me: "Ummm, no, why? What was I doing"?? "Was I snoring"??? Ladi: "Well, I remember hearing you making some sort of strange sounds so I started to rub your back gently". "And no, you were'nt snoring, it was more like a breathing heh, heh, heh sound." Me: "Really"??? I have no recollection of that at all!". "How weird, you sure it wasn't one of the cats"??? Ladi: "No, it wasn't one of the cats hon, it was you and then it happened again, so I reached my hand out again to rub your back and thought your back was still facing me, until you slapped my hand real hard". "I guess you don't remember doing that either". Me: "OMFG, now that you said that about the hand thing, I remember feeling a hand near my face and slapped it down hard!". "Shit, now I remember"! LOLOL "Did it hurt"??? Ladi: (Laughing) "A little bit, but more than anything it scared me, because it startled me". Maybe you thought it was a bug or something and you started swatting away". Me: "No, I remember in my sleep feeling a hand on my face in the dark, so I reacted". "But it could have been worse, I could have bitten it off or something". BOTH OF US: (Laughing on the phone) Me: "So whattya want for dinner tonight"? |
I have to translate rap music for my baby.
the guy says "I aint never scared" she says "Well damn get some glasses...I aint never seen, I aint never seen." I say...."He's saying I aint never scared." she says"Well damn didn't his momma teach him how to enunciate" |
Not exactly around this house but threw a text message this morning concerning this house.
Me: Do you need anything from town? Do I need to pick up anything on my way home from work? Sweet: No I don't need anything but when you get home we need to make a grocery list... Me: :| |
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And your punch line is? just for that, I'll let you clean out the fridge all by your lonesome :goodluck: |
If we were in the same house I would have heard it, with a slight alteration I'm sure instead it too is a text:
"I guess I'll just play Frontierville and masturbate. Not necessarily in that order nor in relation to one another." tee hee |
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:eek: :o |
Shit heard 'round this office:
While in the lunchroom the other day, sitting at a table opposite from two female co-workers....
I'm in a quiet daze of workload burnout, I over-hear something said in a very serious, firm tone... "I could do Shirley, but not Laverne." (me: :| :| :| ...snap out of my daze, listen closely...) "I can groom Shirley and get her to sit still to trim her nails, but Laverne is just too big for me, her fur's too thick and she bit me the last time." (me: :blink: :giggle: ) :dog: :dog: |
Overheard ~
This is a place to put your Overheard @ The (fill in the blank). Example: Overheard @ The Daywalkers yesterday ~ :bbq: Quote:
:tinfoil: :huhlaugh: Have fun n remember ~ try not to run too fast with scissors. :skateboard: :daywalker: |
Overheard @ The Daywalkers: Mrs. Day "I love U for your Tuna" :stillheart: Me: " :| Oh, really" :weedsmoke: Mrs. Day "...tuna FISH Daywalker" Me: ":| *grin* yeah, that's a whole lot different" :farmer: Mrs. Day: "...tuna fish SALAD Daywalker" Me: "...this pleases the Gay MaN in mah head" :awww: :seesaw: :daywalker: |
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