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-   Quotes, Snippets, Other Writing (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=114)
-   -   What every Femme should know... (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4663)

Scuba 02-23-2012 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dude (Post 534246)
are you a new moderator or something?

No and by no means do I want a job like that...but I do like this thread.

I am not saying we shouldn't call out "isms" I just think another thread can be started to address that directly. We have a whole site for that. Why not use it. :)

All opinions are of value in my eyes. I have nothing against anyone here and I'm not here to argue. I would just like to see this area maintain it's purpose which is writing and poetry.

Cheers,

Scoobs

Corkey 02-23-2012 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scubadyke (Post 534254)
No and by no means do I want a job like that...but I do like this thread.

I am not saying we shouldn't call out "isms" I just think another thread can be started to address that directly. We have a whole site for that. Why not use it. :)

All opinions are of value in my eyes. I have nothing against anyone here and I'm not here to argue. I would just like to see this area maintain it's purpose which is writing and poetry.

Cheers,

Scoobs

While I agree that another thread might be in order, the offense happened here, therefore here is as good a place to address it as any other.

Julie 02-23-2012 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scubadyke (Post 534242)
I didn't appear to ME that JistMe meant harm or was telling others what they should or should not be in life. It was simply an expression of emotion...

This is the writing and poetry thread. For the sake of having a place to expose ourselves through our writing WITHOUT persecution I ask you to PLEASE take this discussion to another thread more suitable for the topic.

Scoobs

Indeed it is the Poetry Thread. Quotes, Snippets and Other Writing. However, that does not mean there is not room for dialogue and discussion about said writing.

Are you making an attempt to censor the feelings of others, when it comes to the prose/poem that was posted? When in fact, this poem can be searched and various renditions of it can be found.

I sure hope not scubadyke... That would be a clear act of censorship and not productive or indicative of any writing thread.

Julie

*Anya* 02-23-2012 04:03 PM

This is the femme thread.

Sometimes, topics start out in one place and wind up in another, depending on the thoughts, feelings and insights of those that it speaks to.

Obviously, the original post spoke to many of us and generated a lot of feelings.

I personally have no concerns about where it wound up-writing thread or not.

I would rather not censor anyone. I think everyone has a valid viewpoint-even when I do not agree with them.

I am not a moderator and this is my perspective and my opinion.

Scuba 02-23-2012 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie (Post 534259)
Indeed it is the Poetry Thread. Quotes, Snippets and Other Writing. However, that does not mean there is not room for dialogue and discussion about said writing.

Are you making an attempt to censor the feelings of others, when it comes to the prose/poem that was posted? When in fact, this poem can be searched and various renditions of it can be found.

I sure hope not scubadyke... That would be a clear act of censorship and not productive or indicative of any writing thread.

Julie

Writing inspires us one way or another for sure and censorship is not a good path to start down nor was it my intention to suggest that.

I may not always agree but I will always appreciate.

Scoobs

starryeyes 02-23-2012 04:33 PM

Here is my stereotypical list of what ALL Femmes need to know lol :-D All in fun!

Hugs!



Always get the gel top coat so your nails don't chip after a Manicure. Worth the extra money!

Cheap mascara doesn't always do the trick... Go for the more expensive!

If you are going to wear nothing else, wear eyeliner. You eyes will pop, girl!

The blister Bandaids are a lifesaver for a night out dancing when you are wearing non- dancing shoes.

If you lose a toenail cause you were out dancing all night in non-dancing shoes without the bandaid (tsk tsk) the nail ladies can hook you up with an acrylic and no one will ever know.. :)

Brown and black are opposites on the color wheel...

If you don't have enough time to get your nails done, Press-Ons do the trick and no one will know! ( this was hard for me, but they looked good!!) haha.

Spanx are awesome!

Lace stockings are sexy with anything!

Black heels are also sexy with lace stockings, all the time!! Especially with a little black dress! You betta werk!!

Dude 02-23-2012 04:40 PM

If I was the op
my lesson in this would be to be more careful.
Especially with the >every< word.
This person created a thread when they just meant to post?
Had it been one post in the swoon thread it would not have
gotten this kind of response.

Saying all of the post's in here are a waste of time to read
is probably not something I would have said but this is where AGAIN we all
get to be different.

I dont think people were dissing romantic gestures or thoughts
at all.
This particular (not original) poem? is not every femme's ideal romance and that's ok.

To me, it really is that simple.

atomiczombie 02-23-2012 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JistMe (Post 533227)
Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life... your best friend; your soul mate.
He'll brush the hair out of your eyes, and send you flowers when you least expect it.
He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $30 to see it.
He'll call you to tell you goodnight, or just because he is missing you.
He will call you right back when you hang up on him.
He'll lay with you under the stars listening to your heartbeat... or stay awake all night just to watch you sleep.
He'll kiss your forehead for no reason, and hold your hand in front of your Dad. He'll say you are just as beautiful without makeup on, and show you off to the world when you're in sweats.
He will constantly remind you how lucky he is to have you.
He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and for the first time in your life... you'll believe it.
You will know when you find him ---
He will be the one who turns to his friends, and says...
"Thats her..."

When I read this, what comes to mind is, why do I need someone else to treat me that way? How can I be loving, kind and attentive to myself? Why do I need a best friend and soul mate to be happy? How can I be my own best friend and soul mate? How can I feel beautiful just as I am? What makes me not feel that way? Not that I am femme or that I would partner with someone who is masculine lol. But I guess my point here is, why would I need a partner to mirror for me what I can be for myself? Is depending on a partner for that a healthy expectation? I think that partners are wonderful to have if you want to share your life with someone and build a strong bond of love and mutuality. But expecting a partner to mirror for me what really I am not already to myself - i.e., compassionate and accepting, it is unrealistic and won't work. Because if I don't believe I am wonderful and beautiful just as I am, no partner or anyone else will ever really convince me that I am. It has to come from me.

This is not to say that we shouldn't look for love and compassion and acceptance in a partner. Who we choose to have in our lives reflects how we feel about ourselves. I just think it's a myth that we can only be happy and feel loved when we have a partner who loves us. Don't wait for someone to come along and make you happy. Be happy with yourself here and now!

dixie 02-23-2012 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starryeyes (Post 534291)
Here is my stereotypical list of what ALL Femmes need to know lol :-D All in fun!

Hugs!



Always get the gel top coat so your nails don't chip after a Manicure. Worth the extra money!

Cheap mascara doesn't always do the trick... Go for the more expensive!

If you are going to wear nothing else, wear eyeliner. You eyes will pop, girl!

The blister Bandaids are a lifesaver for a night out dancing when you are wearing non- dancing shoes.

If you lose a toenail cause you were out dancing all night in non-dancing shoes without the bandaid (tsk tsk) the nail ladies can hook you up with an acrylic and no one will ever know.. :)

Brown and black are opposites on the color wheel...

If you don't have enough time to get your nails done, Press-Ons do the trick and no one will know! ( this was hard for me, but they looked good!!) haha.

Spanx are awesome!

Lace stockings are sexy with anything!

Black heels are also sexy with lace stockings, all the time!! Especially with a little black dress! You betta werk!!

Yup, very stereotypical, so I'm glad you put the "all in fun" disclaimer on there. Although I do kinda wonder what the purpose of this post was, especially being purposely stereotypical in the midst of a conversation in which the general topic has become about how NOT to lump all folks into one of those one-size-fits-all categories.

And yes, this is just my own personal thought upon reading this post.

starryeyes 02-23-2012 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixielady (Post 534320)
Yup, very stereotypical, so I'm glad you put the "all in fun" disclaimer on there. Although I do kinda wonder what the purpose of this post was, especially being purposely stereotypical in the midst of a conversation in which the general topic has become about how NOT to lump all folks into one of those one-size-fits-all categories.

And yes, this is just my own personal thought upon reading this post.

I dunno... just posting stuff

girl_dee 02-23-2012 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starryeyes (Post 534325)
I dunno... just posting stuff

"just in fun" disclaimer isn't really an excuse to be purposely stereotypical. You surely know this by reading most of the posts in this thread.


People of my heritage are often stereotyped into movies and *just in fun* makes fun of us.

They think it's ok because it's "just in fun". It's not funny to us.


The fact that you capitalized the word ALL , added a *lol* then a *just in fun* sounds to me like you knew you were about to piss off a bunch of people.

Nothing on your list applies to this femme, just so you know.

dixie 02-23-2012 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starryeyes (Post 534325)
I dunno... just posting stuff

And from this...I can't help but wonder if you had even read any posts in this thread?

dixie 02-23-2012 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee (Post 534329)
"just in fun" disclaimer isn't really an excuse to be purposely stereotypical. You surely know this by reading most of the posts in this thread.


People of my heritage are often stereotyped into movies and *just in fun* makes fun of us.

They think it's ok because it's "just in fun". It's not funny to us.


The fact that you capitalized the word ALL , added a *lol* then a *just in fun* sounds to me like you knew you were about to piss off a bunch of people.

Nothing on your list applies to this femme, just so you know.

I think that's what bothered me as well. That, and the fact that I am not one to be lumped into that "stereotypical" femme category either.

starryeyes 02-23-2012 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixielady (Post 534332)
And from this...I can't help but wonder if you had even read any posts in this thread?

It was just in fun... can we lighten up? It too scary to post around here **runs away

pynkkameleon 02-23-2012 05:23 PM

As one who is also new to this site, I can easily understand why JistMe felt somewhat attacked. I think that I would have felt that way too. This thread should have been a safe place to share well intended, simple and sweet words.

I do think however that this created a very valuable and worthy discussion (thank you JistME) that should continue elsewhere without the OP's intentions being the center of the discussion. I truly feel as if I have gotten quite a bit out of it and I would like to see it continue.

As someone who is finding her voice and her place on this site, I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed and somewhat intimidated by the very occasional rude comment I see made, not against JistMe, but towards others that are simply sharing their point of view or even just asking for clarification. I'm not talking about the humor, such as JAGG's lovely list of "DO NOT DO'S". I think that throwing in that bit of humor is awesome, appreciated and a necessary means to keep any conversation or debate lively. I'm talking about the personal attacks. Respect and honor each person's opinions and if you so vehemently disagree that you can't be at least kind, step away and go find something else to do. It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.

Corkey 02-23-2012 05:25 PM

Good grief. People are allowed to post their opinion, we don't have to agree with it, but running away is passive aggressive and if you didn't think about what you posted just say so. OY!

girl_dee 02-23-2012 05:26 PM

like causing a 10 car pile up and keep going.

Corkey 02-23-2012 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vonni (Post 534337)
As one who is also new to this site, I can easily understand why JistMe felt somewhat attacked. I think that I would have felt that way too. This thread should have been a safe place to share well intended, simple and sweet words.

I do think however that this created a very valuable and worthy discussion (thank you JistME) that should continue elsewhere without the OP's intentions being the center of the discussion. I truly feel as if I have gotten quite a bit out of it and I would like to see it continue.

As someone who is finding her voice and her place on this site, I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed and somewhat intimidated by the very occasional rude comment I see made, not against JistMe, but towards others that are simply sharing their point of view or even just asking for clarification. I'm not talking about the humor, such as JAGG's lovely list of "DO NOT DO'S". I think that throwing in that bit of humor is awesome, appreciated and a necessary means to keep any conversation or debate lively. I'm talking about the personal attacks. Respect and honor each person's opinions and if you so vehemently disagree that you can't be at least kind, step away and go find something else to do. It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.

People don't respond well to finger wagging when they are pointing out ism's. Happens all the time. Every poster has followed the TOS, or we would have heard about it.

dixie 02-23-2012 05:32 PM

Totally from *me* space again...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by starryeyes (Post 534335)
It was just in fun... can we lighten up? It too scary to post around here **runs away

Seriously? If someone attempting to start a calm dialogue with you in hopes of understanding the meaning of a slightly confusing statement you make is "too scary" then I would like to live in that bubble as well, because your reality seems to be much different than mine.

And I am also sorry, but I am the kind of femme who would literally go insane if the most important worry in my life was the "right" hair, makeup, and nails. Therefore, it's not very "fun" for me to be stereotyped in jest.


Tawse 02-23-2012 05:38 PM

I think we should be careful about the your filters versus my filters and who has responsibility issue.

And I say that for one reason.


All the sexual harassment classes I've ever gone to.


The guy says sweetheart. He means nothing by it. But if the woman interprets it as harassment - then it is. If she's ok with it - then it's not.

It has nothing to do with his intention, and 100% with the way it is received.

And that is a very polarized example - and yes it could be argued rather easily that it's wrong and completely different.

So I'll pull up another point - dealing with difficult people in the work place. If someone has a problem with you and you're pulled to DEO - you better not say "it's his/her fault because of their filters, I didn't intend..." or "this is just the way I am, if he/she doesn't like it they are the problem..." It won't get you anywhere and may even see you lose your job.

Now we're in a casual laid back atmosphere here - but I have to say, maybe due to corporate / legal brainwashing, that anytime someone says 'it's your fault if you hear me wrong' - it makes me want to grab my documentation and get ready to head to a mediator.

Just a thought...


edited to add: oh shit I just realized this long thread is because of the way something was received instead of intended.

kinda makes you go hmmmm


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