Hiya! Really good point you make! Personally I think we should hold other members of this community to the same level of expectation and respect as we do those outside this community.
Would I have some hesitancy in asking another woman of transsexual experience not to call me a tranny? Sure - I do not want to seem like the language police, challenging another's identifiers - but I would ask her anyway.

I agree! I think we should all be free to define our own brand of "femmeness", "butchness", "trans-ness" (and the list goes on). Why should we insist that because one term works for me, that it should apply to the next femme/butch/trans person?

I think any term in itself is not the issue - it's the attitude with which it is used. A standardised vocabulary means absolutely nothing if the person who is using it is disrespectful or dismissive about it. Conversely, I can always forgive a person who has good intentions but who may not be using the most politically correct term. Maybe they just don't have the educational background to know any different.

Hello all. I am posting here because I recently realized that I am trans. Its weird this body that I have. And I dont know how to quite identify. Everything is still so new to me. Do you identify as FTM without having the surgery? Do you identify as trans? Or the same butch label I have called myself for so long. Anyone who wants to PM me and help me out would be greatly appreciated. :) Hugs around to all you guys.

Hey BBM and welcome to the thread. How one identifies is entirely personal decision. What made you realize that you are trans? And trans could mean either transsexual or transgender. Are you going to medically transition? Do you intend on having surgery or are holding off?

There is no right or wrong answer to each of these but it's more something you have to address with yourself.

For me personally, I did an identity transition from butch --> transgender/genderqueer --> transguy/FTM. I haven't had surgery yet (although really want top surgery) but have been on T for over a year now.

I debated on posting this, but I've decided to since I'm going to embark on T in the coming months.

First, this post is for sharing experiences only. It is NOT to challenge anyone, or to start any kind of debate. I'm just putting this out here; if you want to respond fine, if not, okay.

Couple of nights ago, I spoke to a therapist who is a fully transitioned FTM. We discussed therapy and the transition process among other things, one of which was...the absolute hell....he went through in losing so much by transitioning including most of his therapy clientele. He said it definitely had its price and he was emphatic about therapy, being very prepared, and having a solid support system.

He didn't transition until he was 50, which is my case as well at 53. After our conversation, I gave this some thought and its obvious to me that age or being seasoned with life experiences doesn't make transitioning any easier to go through. Yet, I see people in this subculture on T in droves. I'm amazed at how many people are going through this in their 20s and early 30s! And because it's life altering, I would think it would be a load to handle for someone so young who is apt to lose their family, job, friends or creating a crisis with a ripple effect.

I look at transitioning as life changing. I'm 53 with a lot of "life experiences" and I still believe its going to be very hard for me. That's why it baffles me to see transitioning or gender reassignment among people who are as young as their 20s. [I]A friend of mine once said she thought the reason that younger people are transitioning at the rate and the age they are is because, and (brace yourself for this) they can't accept being gay. Is that even plausible? And what kind of therapist would approve of their hormone therapy or reassignment? Without any firm answers, I personally am not sure I agree.

On the note of acceptance, Atlanta is an international city with about 5-7 million people. You would think it would be a more progressive and embrace diversity of this kind, even with Southern Comfort and so on. But I don't see it that way at all; case in point, the therapist last night and 2 other transgendered folks who have had a time of it here. And I lost 3 friends here who were gay men and didn't want me around because I was transgendered. It's one thing not be accepted in a city this size and quite another to be unacceptable in the LGBT community.

I'm not suggesting that paying a high price for transitioning is the rule. What may be really difficult for some, maybe isn't for others. So I would like to know about the road less traveled from folks who have transitioned and the prices paid emotionally, physically and/or monetarily if you want to share. Or ...the flip side which is a great journey full of support and personal fullfillment for you.

Thanks in advance for your answers and for sharing you're thoughts and/or your experiences.

A few thoughts about your friend. I don't think that's true. That assumes that all people transitioning were dating "same sex" before and after. I know of a few trans guys who were dating men before and after, some who are bi, some who fit the stereotype of "flaming" (they wear more makeup than I ever did in my whole life), etc. It sounds like your friend is confusing sexual orientation with gender identity (they are separate but some blur it a bit).

Most therapists that approve of medical transition do so because it helps the person's self identity (ego or is it id?). That ability to align my inner mental view with the external shine-and-glossy view. My sexual orientation is separate from those views and do not define my self-identifying view. (if that makes sense -- I think I just confused myself!)

As for paying a high price for transitioning, it does happen. We cannot escape or ignore that. But it isn't the only reaction. I've been lucky. I started transitioning at age 37 and most of my family is/has been supportive. There are elements of family that I don't hear from but then again, I never really heard from them before so it's really no different. I've been lucky with work and my colleagues are overly supportive.

Now, if I could just get the gov't agencies to play along.. life would be grand but I don't want to take away too much of their ability to muck about in the red tape land. :cheesy:

As you all know, I am not yet transitioned but I also plan to start that in a few months. I suppose I am not as fearful about losing friends and family. Perhaps I am naive about this. I live in California, and just an hour outside of the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area which is comparably very liberal with respect to the rest of the country. That aside, my folks are very supportive of me, and other family members as well. The christian conservatives on my mother's side of the family actually like my being trans as opposed to being gay because they think gay is the greater of the 2 evils. (*rolls his eyes* whatever.)

I am not working at the moment as I am on disability, so transitioning while having a job isn't an issue. I guess my biggest fear is the reaction of the Queer community, and whether I will be welcomed and acknowledged as a queer person after transition. The worst kind of discrimination is the kind that comes from within your own community. I consider the queer community to be my home.

It is tragic when gay people or anyone for that matter speculate that the only reason you want to transition is not to be viewed by others as gay. That is simply ignorant and disrespectful. I hope no one says that to me. For some reason I don't anticipate it. Anyhow, Jet I wish you well on your journey. :gimmehug:

I think it is ashame that anyone would want to endure what we go thru to be accepted. I just cannot imagine. And I agree with you Atomic. The queer community is pretty harsh.

I'm sitting intently reading and smiling, sometimes chuckling at your responses. You guys are priceless.

I'm going to add some experiences and fears a bit later; I'd like to see who else is going to respond first.

Thanks bros for responding.

younger than 20 even.
 

Belle, I knew around 4 or 5. I hated girl things especially those g*ddamn anklets and patten leather shoes....lololol

BTW, those anklets always slipped into my shoes in the back and I'd scooch em back up with my other foot. It made playing baseball fucking miserable.

Hi!
 

Just dropping by to say hello! :tanning:

So I was curious about something: have other guys on T noticed that they are able to cry less? It's something I've noticed more in the last 3-6 months where when seeing an ad by the Humane Society pings me a little but doesn't bring me to near bawling like it used to. It's actually starting to annoy me a bit as there are times when I wouldn't mind a simple cry but cannot. It's like my ability to express emotions has shut down..

I have not started T yet. I am just reading ALOT. I have read this experince by other people during my search for info. I was initially interested in this experince after reading an article about a guy that felt he had lost all touch with his emotional side once he trasitioned. He felt desensitized and was wondering if it was the experince of the T or if this was how most bio men experinced life. Interesting thought, Thanks Linus!!

...not the case for me. I'm still a big ol' crybaby!!!!

'Roid rage is caused by steroids, not testosterone (what you'll be taking). Roid rage is something that happens in the body building community by morons who don't monitor usage. They (usually) don't have a prescription, they buy their steroids over the internet (usually), and a whole slew of other things.

T doesn't cause rages. Depending on the frequency of your shot, your hormones will dip up and down...which will cause some edginess towards the end of your shot period (if you're on a 14day cycle...which is what most people start out on). This can be 'dealt with' by doing half a dose once a week, or by doing a ten day cycle. Your doctor can tell you why your hormones get out of balance in 14 days, or maybe someone here will go into it. You WILL have to figure out how to deal with the two hormones in your body towards the end of your cycle if you stay on a 14day cycle.

Here's the thing about the "T-rage" myth. It's a myth. People want to act like the only people who deal with hormone imbalances are transguys. Fact is, birth control is a hormone, most menopausal women are on hormones, older guys are on hormones, etc. Everybody gets wiggy when their hormones are changing. You'll probably find T actually calms you down (most guys do).


Don't Have Time For More Detail Right Now, Mama Wants Me To Go To Walgreens For Her,
Dylan

T has not affected my emotions in the slightest. I don't cry any less and I'm not affected by things any less. I think overall it's made me more "mellow" so to speak. As thinker said, I'm still a "Big 'ol baby"