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Smoochies
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:gimmehug: :deepthoughts: I NEVER believed in curses. I thought they were poppycock!! And then I kept running into them over and over again when I did soul retrieval work. Lucky for me I had spirits who were more than willing to help me to remove them. When I taught this class in 06 I did it completely differently than I do now. I have been able to shorten the process just so that I could teach others how to do it and what impact it could have on their patients. I offered myself as the guinea pig :seeingstars: for the class in Feb. So I had 15 of the 20 participants remove curses. I am going to bore you with the details so grab your :tea: now. I wore all black and took a 30 ft white nylon rope and had one of the students tie me in it. The reason was to have something 'tangible' to follow. Well all I can say was what a totally humbling exprience that was. People who did not know me came back telling me stories of ancestors being cursed for killing in a battle, & love gone awry, & abandonment and the list goes on. They were so accurate. Each person also had to tell me, if they could, what I could do with the rope to be a physical manifestation of the curse being removed. Well I had a number of suggestions. It was endlessly fascinating how many people came back with the same imagery... desert, black caves, lonely landscape... to name a few. Some of the curses were the same, or had the same underlying cause. It was interesting. And much of it completely related to long standing personal issues that are private. That night I went home and bathed and felt like - picture this - two chicken breasts four inches apart with string criss crossing to tie them together. That is what I felt like energetically. And I was not able to burn the rope for two weeks (the joys of being balls to the wall busy) but I felt all that time like I was wading through really heavy water. I was abnormally tired, sore and unable to wake. During the release ceremony the bag with the rope, which should have burnt like <snap fingers> didn't. It took on faces and fangs and a couple of other "looks". It took over 1/2 hour for the bag to even begin to burn. Then only a small hole burnt, then the inside burnt, the packing paper never really caught fire it just changed in darkness & layers. Anyway... about 3/4 of the way through I felt this enormous weight lift off my body. Duh... and feel SO MUCH BETTER. The difference is remarkable. Will I change, well I think I will if I continually work on it. Do I think it helped, yes but in subtle ways and is still working. Would I ever let 15 ppl take curses off me at once... can I get a HELL NO. The energy work and removal was intense. Aside from the symptoms above I had a temper like crazy, and I don't really have one. I was a freaking basket case a couple of days there. Very unusual mental patterns. Since the release.... peace... more peace than I have had in a very long time. I taught the class again last weekend and did not offer myself up. But changed how things were done. I have not heard back from the students to see if they are changed, but I know if it worked for me, I am sure it will work for others. I am teaching a level 2 class in May combining curse removal and power retrieval and will touch on soul retrieval as well. Should be intense. I am gonna work em hard :blink: :4femme: Anyway, there is my tome. Curses, never believed in them. But google the word Defixiones, it may give you some interesting food for thought. :bolt: :canadian: |
Foxyshaman, Do you sage your home? What do you find/feel afterwards? Thank you for your many posts. I sure do enjoy them. Peace, Andrew |
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I cannot believe how jealous I am of your students. *sigh* But hey *perks up* at least we get to talk here! Quote:
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My latest lesson in curses: I know someone who made the terrible mistake of buying a cursed house. He thought he was safe because he had a priest bless the house. He thought that removed the curse. Then someone gifted spiritually removed the curse... they thought. But yanno what, the whole time it was still working. It's still working today, even though Gryph quietly took the curse off three years ago. The guy's wife keeps putting the energy back the way it was, to make it feel the same as it always did. Nobody can un-curse the house as long as she insists on being tied to it, because she doesn't know she's doing it and she wouldn't understand or believe anyone who tried to explain it to her. All she knows is that she feels safer when everything around her feels like it always did, so she puts it back "in order" when anyone disturbs it. So. Even though I said before that cursing depends on the skills and belief of the curser, it is also true that once a curse is in place, other people can keep it there. A person doesn't have to be very sophisticated psychically to be strong, yanno? :canadian: Keep talking, oh Foxy one, you're sparking me to all kinds of insights now... :rose: Someday I would love to figure out how to call Canada and :phonegab:talk your ear off, lol.... Cath |
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Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you enjoy my posts, that makes me spirit smile. I do use sage in my house. I love blending smudges. The house just feels deeply peaceful afterwards. I also find when I am outta sorts a good smudge put me back in my proper energetic alignment. I use an old coffee grinder to put my sage in, and then I usually put frankinsence or myhrr in with it. I also have a myriad of other resins and plants that i grind in with it depending on what I am using the smudge for. I love smudge. Absolutely one of my favorite things to create. Foxy |
You might notice I ever so carefully did not mention how LONG it took me to get spiritually self-confident *looks around, whistling* an awful lot of things have changed pretty drastically for me here in Kansas.... but then, this is the first time I can claim long-term and close-up experience with any kind of shamanism. It deals with different kinds of energy work and different kinds of beings than I have dealt with before.
It took you a long time... girl it took me a long time to believe in curses!!! Let alone figure out how to remove them. We are similar in more ways than I think you think!! :balloon: So what I want to know is whether you expected them to find anything at all. I would have expected that you would be pretty "clean" psychically speaking, after years and years of taking care of yourself the way a shaman does! Did all those people finding curses surprise you, or was it only the intensity of the experience that was a surprise? I TOTALLY expected them to find them. I was really hoping they would find them. What I have learnt over the years is that I, despite working as hard as I do, can be as blind to myself as others. It can be really hard to work for ourselves because we have uber super duper filters that we have worked "lifetimes", not to mention this lifetime, on. So, I don't always see it. And to tell you the truth I never really put a great deal of effort into removing my curses. I have done quite a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy lately and think that it was the right time to get spiritual results that mirrored my cognitive results. As with most intense spiritual practice it is always better to get someone to else to do the work, it just works better. Got any idea why it was so resistant? I'm curious because I'm running into resistant things lately, things that morph as I try to get them out of my head, my life, That House... the cleansings I do seemed to be easy at first and I don't know if it's getting harder because it's less effective now, or because I'm still tired and burnt out from December's huge energy-sending, or because I've cleaned out all the easy stuff and what's left behind is entrenched and really IS harder to get rid of... You may want to change what it is your doing. Its akin to an antibiotic, spirit, negative spirit can get resistant to what we are doing. Change it up and come at it from a different angle or use another technique. Perhaps you know someone, or even Gryph, who can do an extraction on your body. It may be that you have an attachment or two that is stopping the work. Another set of eyes on your spiritual health cannot hurt at all. My latest lesson in curses: I know someone who made the terrible mistake of buying a cursed house. He thought he was safe because he had a priest bless the house. He thought that removed the curse. Then someone gifted spiritually removed the curse... they thought. But yanno what, the whole time it was still working. It's still working today, even though Gryph quietly took the curse off three years ago. The guy's wife keeps putting the energy back the way it was, to make it feel the same as it always did. Nobody can un-curse the house as long as she insists on being tied to it, because she doesn't know she's doing it and she wouldn't understand or believe anyone who tried to explain it to her. All she knows is that she feels safer when everything around her feels like it always did, so she puts it back "in order" when anyone disturbs it. So. Even though I said before that cursing depends on the skills and belief of the curser, it is also true that once a curse is in place, other people can keep it there. A person doesn't have to be very sophisticated psychically to be strong, yanno? It to me sounds like you are dealing with a suffering being. Now I am going to sound totally like a loon here, but bear with me. <cause seriously it won't be the first time I have seemed that way> I had a case in January of a house that had been REPEATEDLY cleared. One priest even came to the house to do a memorial service, and it helped the house, but only a bit and for a very short period of time. I was asked to come in and see what i could sense. The first thing I did was compassionately depossess the woman who lived in the house. Then, this was a total first for me, I offered my body as the way to get the spirits out of the house... now I would never ever have done that if I did not have my partner with me and was sure she could get them outta me. The spirits who left through me, spoke their story and told what we were specifically to do to interrupt the ley lines so that the house was not on a "super highway" of traveling spirits. We came back two weeks later, did the follow up work. Called in our spirits and cleared the house one last time. Peace in the house. It was a very humbling experience, but it worked. Quiet house. First time quiet in many years The curse/being/unknown energy of the house you are referring to may well have attached itself to the Lady of the house. They are tricky tricky tricky beings and not to be underestimated. If you were fighting for your life (even if that is not what it really is) you would do anything. And so do they. I would suggest that the owners of the home google Betsy Bergstrom, and send her an email and ask if she has any students living in the area who can do this work. At this point they have nothing to lose. And you may be able to be a part of the healing ceremony and see some fascinating work done. Those are my thoughts. We do have to figure out a way to get together. I think it would be divine to meet and share our collective knowledge. Put it out there, you never know what may come back!! Have a wonderful day my sweet friend. Lots of love Foxy |
Cath & Foxy, You guys are just remarkable. I am learning so much from what you post. I wish we could all spend a month together just talking about this. I just buy my sage at a spiritual store in town. I used the lavender and thyme sage. They are selling pendjalum (sp?) mats now. Have you used these? I have a collection of rocks but am not sure of how to use the 2 together. Or even what outcome I could expect from using such a thing. Cath, on so many levels you have helped me. You are just about love. So nobody and nothing can ever cross that. If I am just one, can you even imagine how many others you have touched? All I can say is wow. My hat is off to you, and always will be. Foxy, on saging I agree with you. When I saged for the first time, the energy of my home just opened up to being more free and happy. The negativity was gone. As for me and Rosie...we both felt this. Not only did we feel it, we could sense this so did our furkids. Each one was so much more happier and at ease. I used to grow a ton of herbs. However, they have been with me since I bought the house. So they are about 12 years old now. We tried eating them just last night (garlic chives I froze from the summer). Gross. So, I think they are just growing, and no longer eatable. Thank you both for your posts. I am learning. Peace and goodness to you both, Andrew |
Icons, Incense, Candles, Sacred Gifts
Now let me say this, just so there is no confusion here or anywhere here on this site, I am Christian. However, I mix my spirituality with Buddist and other religions to create my own version of loving God. I have principles about going to Mass that I follow. But I also believe in saging, and other rituals. Someone questioned me about burning incense. In both the Catholic & Greek faiths, we burn everything from charcoal, frankincense, myrrh, roses, jasmine, cinnamon, desert pine, honey amber, just to name a few. I use these at my alter at home. Also, in my Parish, we have many services called Byzantine, but I don't attend them because they are in Spanish. So it wouldn't help me. I also have many statues inside and outside my home. It is my way of showing others that I am faithful to only one Lord. I find comfort in them, esp. when I was very sick. It is my belief that God knows my thoughts, my heart, my mind long before I speak them. There is no place I can hide, nor do I want too. I hope this helps explain my faith. Peace, Andrew |
Andrew,
I have read many of your posts on this site and am very aware you are Christian. I, for one outside of christianity, appreciate your interest, curiousity and ability to allow others their own practices and faith. :canadian: :byebye: |
Foxy, Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. I get the perception that most don't understand me at all. I say one thing, and it gets taken out of the context of what I am meaning. For example, what is inside of me only comes out in dribbles. Make sense - yes? I believe that there is more to this life than what most of us really understand. For example, most people think all mothers love and accept their children they birth. They have no realization/concept that there are some mothers who don't want their children or reject them. It is a part of nature. I believe that faith and nature as being interconnected. So as human beings we are all as well too. Peace, Andrew |
I'm here--no time to write but I confess that's because I got caught up in reading a series of permaculture essays by my fav writer on the subject, Toby Hemenway. He's the author of Gaia's Garden and he is outstanding at seeing and analyzing patterns.
http://patternliteracy.com/index.html This is his website. I will be back; I have some thoughts and questions about our convo but yanno, tis after midnight now.... sheesh, that caught me off guard. Darned Daylight Savings. |
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I do know about Mothers rejecting their young. I work with them in my day job, every day. And fathers too, many fathers I come in contact with seem to believe their children are disposable. Today, I am sure with the rest of the Planet the sorrows and fears in Japan are where my heart and thoughts lie. Foxy |
Foxy, I am in an overwhelming grief over Japan. I cannot even begin to put it in words. It is such a loss of so many things, mainly humanitarian. Yes, we must be patient with each other. And also reach out our hands to others. Sometimes politics separates nations and that should stop if you ask me. I cannot understand why we still have the poor among us, esp. children. Sorry for the rant. I have information overload going on with Japan right now. Thank you kind friend. :praying: |
Wooohooo, I'm back!!
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I think a difference between us (been thinking about this) is that you decided to follow the path and then went for it, felt a calling and answered--and I, to my regret, have never been able to do so. Fear has held me back every step of the way and quite honestly, Foxy, it still does (although not as badly as before). And now that I am in a position where fear does not rule me as much--my focus is shot. Sheesh, how ironic. Quote:
Huh... well, there's a couple new things to think of. I've been feeling guilty about how much Gryph does on my behalf; he's been working on cleaning up old curses for several years now, for instance. I wish I could do the same for him, I truly do--I'd do it in a heartbeat. But one of the strong attitudes I've come up against fairly often in the Pagan community is that I should take care of my own needs, be independent and self-reliant, never ask for help unless I'm desperate... the easiest example is the one about charged candles, the kind you buy with the blessing or spell worked into them by the maker. I've actually been told that's laziness, that a "real" witch should never need that; I've even been told that using a candle someone else charged would "contaminate" my working. But what if the person who charged the candle I want to buy is actually very highly skilled, more skilled than I am? Why would it be lazy or wrong to make use of that kind of help? Why would it be wrong to make use of any kind of help? I mean, MY first instinct is always to help others, so why would it would be wrong for others to help me? I'm thinking you have the right of it, darlin; I'm thinking it is good to have others do at least some of this work. Thanks for getting me to think about it. Quote:
I've been thinking about this and my first reaction was "but I don't know anything else!!" and my second reaction was, "but this IS something new." I've only been using this psychic cleansing technique for a month or so. Maybe you're right about the attachment, but I most sincerely hope not. I think I prefer to label the things "resistant to spiritual antibiotic, try spiritual antifungal next". Tea Tree Oil for the soul. :| Quote:
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That House is on a Super Highway; we've worked hard to get all the portals closed and we still chase beings back where they belong all the time. We don't wish to change the ley lines, but it is our goal to get That House anchored well and truly as a place of stability. Our ghost is most welcome; she was Guardian of That House when she owned it and she has continued on as Guardian ever since. We love her very dearly. :) Quote:
I'll keep Betsy Bergstrom's name though, thank you! Quote:
:gimmehug: Love to you! Cath |
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The need is so immense. It's overwhelming. Life can never be the same again for those who have lived through the destruction. Things like this mark people's souls. |
Wow...looks like I've missed some great convos...I'll have to go further to read back, but wanted to smile & wave all around & throw this one out there...
When 9/11 happened, I felt similar to the way many others are now feeling about Japan. Instinctively, I cleared space, burned candles, prayed (in as much as I do - that's a whole other convo...) & I wanted to put this to Foxy & Bit or anyone else who has an opinion (& I really hope this hasn't already been discussed further back) but... Can we (psychically/energetically) lend....assistance in times of trouble - on a global scale (& if you believe so, how do you go about it)... I think I'll leave it there for now, but I might have a story to share when I return.... -Blue :blueheels: |
{{{{{{{{{{{Blue}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hi honey! Good to hear from you!
Yes, I believe we can and should lend assistance whenever we are able to. It's vitally important to people in a disaster; I believe the outpouring of love, concern, and prayers/energy is what makes it possible for people to survive things like 9/11, Katrina, or the disastrous earthquakes and tsunami in Japan. Without the compassion pouring in from the rest of the world, I think people would go on living but wouldn't really recover, yanno? How to do it? Pretty much like you described doing. The candle might be optional for me, though. *smiling* I guess I don't see sending energy on a global scale any differently than I see sending energy to an individual--but then I grew up praying for world peace, so I guess I'm used to the idea of sending globally. Love to hear your story! Hope you can come back soon! |
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(((Bit))) It's good to be back! My adventures sans internet haven't been much to write home about, but after 6 months of being a foster mommy, it is good to have a peek outside of my world & feel like part of a larger community again. (Can we say In-tro-vert...lol) My story...hmm...what was I going to share... Oh yes...Well...when Hurricane Katrina happened, my friend began having very troubling "dreams". She was hardly sleeping for fear of having another of these horrible nightmares. When she told me about it, I brought up the possibility that she might be a medium & being sought out by those who had recently passed in the disaster. This wasn't something that she had previously experienced or that she felt ready for on such a large scale. Now, I agree with you...we should absolutely lend whatever kind of assistance we can - if we can. She didn't feel she was in a position to lend as much assistance as was being asked of her. So we talked some more about what she might try during these 'dreams', in terms of not being so open, preparing herself to help anyone who did come through & being able to draw the line & take care of herself when it became too much for her. It became a nightly 'exercise' for awhile. She was able to pass on love & light to many & help one lost & lonely boy in particular realize that he had died & move on (I am so proud of her!). She has since become much more comfortable with the whole idea & has developed her ability on her own. Please note: I have no 'real' (personal) experience to speak from on this topic, but I do know how to be a good friend & listen & that was all she really needed...to not feel like she was crazy...to not feel judged & I'm glad that I was able to provide that. Which reminds me...this place...feels good like that too...a safe & welcoming place that people from different backgrounds can come together & discuss things that we may (or may not) be able to discuss with everyone in our every day life. And I want to say :praying: Thank you :praying: to everyone who contributes to that atmosphere. I might come back with another story after the babies are finished lunch... -Blue:blueheels: |
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Hail and Hello Blue and squishy hugs to you Cath!!!
Abilities come in all forms with different levels. Global disasters can be hard to deal with from a spiritual perspective. In shamanic traditions there is a method called psychopomp, which basically means crossing the souls over. I like this work, actually I love this work. What I have come to discover however is that not all spirits respond to the work. When we do the work we can encounter spirits who have lived in a different spiritual tradition than myself or my circle mates. These spirits can shun us in the spirit world or flat out tell us mind our own business. Those were good lessons. It doesn´t stop us from trying to help however. And as in every place on earth different people practice different spiritual traditions. I have been away from home for the last couple of weeks so I was not able to participate in our circles gatherings for psychopomp work for Japan. However, I am sure that they encountered some spirits who wanted no help from western shamanic practitioners, no matter how well meaning. There are different ways to do psychopomp work. The first time I tried this was in 1999 when there was an earthquake in Turkey. I was instantly attracted to the work and found it IMMENSELY rewarding. I also think it is exceptionally important work. I often encounter stuck spirits wherever I go, and sometimes I can help and sometimes I cannot. Interesting tid bit... I am in Mexico right now and the main reason I came was to celebrate equinox at ChiChin Itza. It´s my birthday, so I figured why the hell not celebrate the balance of light and dark (and secretly me ha ha) with 25,000 others. It was beautiful and an amazing blissed out day for me. When I got back to my hotel that night, I had a really strange series of dreams regarding suffering beings, other wise known as possession. I woke up thinking something was not right. (duh heh!!) Then I went to my small fridge to get my drinking water... it was frozen. The same bottle I had drunk out of when I was away. Nothing else was frozen in the fridge. So... something had followed me home. The other odd thing was I was craving a cigarette...almost unbearable. I quit smoking ten years ago, but I almost gave in. Did my small ceremony in my room and it left. Whew... That night I had even more dreams. In each dream more and more people were coming to house to watch me perform a ceremony of compassionate depossession. The house was so full I kept wondering where everyone would sit. I knew when I woke up someone big was coming and that I had to pay attention. Then later that day, towards the evening I went into town to wander... and wandered right into one of my favorite people in the whole world and I had not seen him for three years. He is terminal and when I saw him I `felt`he is surrounded by a host of spirits. Neither of us was surprised we ran into each other. He is coming for work with me when I get home, incidently he was moving to my home city and would fly out the next day. Dreams are amazing. What I have found over the years is that the more I pay attention to them and understand my own personal symbolism displayed in my dreams, the more meaning I can derive from them. Our dreams are as individual as we are. They have a language that is unique to each person. Anyway, this short note has turned into a short novella. Thanks for listening. |
Hey everyone. I havent been posting much lately, busy with life, and introspection. I have finally set up my alter after much putting it off. why did I do that? I feel so much better already and it's only been an hour. My spirit is realigning.
Hope you all are well! blessed be, Irish |
Hey there, welcome back Irish! Glad you got your altar put together!
Foxy, you cunning one you, sneaking your birthday celebration in like that. I highly approve! :cheesy: Those dreams of yours sound quite intense. I am glad you reconnected with your friend! Gryph has experienced the same as you, that sometimes spirits want no help and say "mind your own business." I would say, that IS a shaman's business! *wry smile* But hey, there are certainly enough people in need of help that no one need look far to find someone else who wishes to cross over. My dreams have been pretty active lately as well. The ones I remember, I am reliving books and stories, and sometimes writing new chapters in my dreams. I am content to have it so---sure beats nightmares!! But when I'm not burying myself in escapist dreams, I do have a dream world that seems to be filled with symbols that have meaning for me, things which are either not in dream interpretation books or have a different meaning than in the books. I suppose it's rather like having your own personalized tarot deck. {{{{{{{{{{{{Irish, Foxy, Blue, Andrew}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Bright Blessings in the coming week! |
Starhawk's adaptation of Doreen Valiente's...
:moonstars:The Charge of the Goddess:moonstars: I who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters, I call upon your soul to arise and come to me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From Me all things proceed and unto me they must return. Let My worwhip be in the heart that rejoices, for behold--all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And you who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire. :moonstars: |
If you focus enough on the Goddess, it is almost as if she begins to notice you and takes you under her wing. She gradually begins to reveal herself in all her complexity, and sometimes in unexpected ways. This is an ongoing process, spiralling to deeper and deeper levels, always continuing. Let the Goddess come into your meditations, your dreams, your work and the faces of people around you. You will begin to recognize and acknowledge the Goddess in your life and become fertile soil for her to grow in. Give her plenty of water, light and food, and you will find yourself transformed by what grows inside of you. You will have become the Goddess.
-from The Heart of the Goddess by Hallie Iglehart Austen |
"The spiritual world is like the natural world--only diversity will save it. Just as the health of a forest or fragrant meadow can be measured by the number of different insects and plants and creatures that successfully make it their home, so only by an extraordinary abundance of disparate spiritual and philosophic paths will human beings navigate a pathway through the dark and swirling storms that mark our current era." Margot Adler (in Drawing Down the Moon)
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{Blue}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you for sharing these quotes!
Happy Beltane, everyone! May this May Day bring you happiness and peace! |
Welcome Betane
Thank you LadyBlue for those beautiful quotes. I like Margot Adler's quote. Amen to diversity.
{{{{{{BIT}}}}} How are you huney? Are you feeling any better? Is spring bringing some good changes about for you?? I celebrated Betaine with a different group than I usually do and HAD A BLAST. Lots of drumming, lots of dancing & a tantric feast to boot. I almost did not get there, I could not find the farm, and then I perservered (sp?) and voila there it was. The people who put it on had built a huge (17 foot) effigy to the goddess to burn. We had players of the green man and the lady light the effigy. There were fire dancers, drummers (me too), dancing, even top naked bodies... lets face it, it is Apr 30 in Alberta and we were below zero that night... cold titties. I went home really late and had a lovely sleep. I spent yesterday writing part 2 of a curse workshop I am teaching. I was working on the tie between Samskara (karma cycles) and curses. And then a bit on PTSD as a way of understanding the affect of trauma and what happens to the 'soul piece' that gets stuck or lost from us. I think it will be an interesting and long workshop. Must get back to work. Wishing everyone a great day!!! |
{{{{{{{{{{{Foxy}}}}}}}}}}} Hi!! :cheesy: Sounds like your Beltaine was truly wonderful! Mine was too, although it was bloody cold in that park... winter storms that blow through after spring is well established really chill people to the bone!! :cold: But blue lips and all, it was a wonderful wonderful day!
I've been doing better, thank you for asking. Also doing worse, both at the same time, but what can you do, eh? It's been absolutely shocking to me how badly I was burnt out; last week I still could basically do nothing energy-wise. The ley line that runs through That House is my lifeline; I can, with the assistance of an Ally, grab some of that and direct it for healing once in a while. I cannot send the healing long distance, though, only to Gryph or to one of the furbabies. That's quite a come-down from sending energy all over the place like I had been doing. My focus is still shot, too, but I persisted with my cleansing efforts and they're working better than they were. I've managed a couple times to be Gryph's "battery" so to speak, and lend energy during a working. The biggest change is that the person I was linked to who was being drained (the same way I was drained in December and January, by sending energy to someone who was being systematically drained by life-stealers) finally accepted Gryph's help and the tie to the life-stealers was cut, as well as my tie to her. I felt better immediately! Once I was no longer feeling her uncontrollable rage, I came back to emotional balance within myself and my own natural happiness started to reassert itself. I was able to get started on my gardening then, and that's bringing me much joy! Unfortunately, I'm not doing so well physically. The fibro seems to be flaring in cycle with my hormones--which is bad enough--but my carpal tunnel syndrome is steadily worsening and that really bothers me. I've come to truly believe that being drained by the life-stealers (through my friend) is what allowed the physical worsening. That energy had to come from somewhere, and once it was gone I surely couldn't use it to keep my body intact. That tells me I have to be vigilant and keep an eye out for situations where the draining can happen, now that I'm learning to recognize it. Most of the time it's really easy to recognize life-stealers, because usually they're not very sophisticated--you know, spend time with someone and come away feeling drained and depressed--it's obvious. But this kind of drain is more subtle, slower, so that I write my tiredness off to the fibro, or to eating too much turkey (lol! darned tryptophan!), or to fluctuating hormones and pain levels. It takes several days before I realize that it isn't me, that something is actively pulling the energy away. I realized while I was writing this that it's happening again, but only because I've been puzzled all evening about my friend's bad day and bad mood; telling you about the drain put that into perspective. I guess once done is not forever, but I was thinking it would be and so I didn't expect the ties to be put back in place. *rueful look* Now I know better. Gryph didn't expect them to be put back either, and he's got way more experience than I have, so I don't feel quite so foolish about not realizing it... but now that I know, I have to watch. This past year sure has been filled with lessons about taking care of myself! The consequences of allowing emotional ties that then allow me to come under attack are brutal. It's showing very drastically not just in my health, but in Gryph's exhaustion; in the furbabies (Lady's diabetes and subsequent blindness, Bubba's hyperthyroidism, Trooper's worsening paranoia); and even in the physical condition of That House. I can't allow this pattern to continue; I have to make changes in how I allow people to relate to me. No more Feeders. No matter how much I might love them, no more Feeders. I just don't have that kind of energy. I noticed several years ago that a huge number of people with fibromyalgia seem to be Empaths... maybe it's the other way round. Maybe being an Empath makes one vulnerable to fibromyalgia, because of the huge and constant drain on one's energy by the Feeders. I guess if I succeed in cutting them all off and my fibro gets better, I'll know! Best to you with your workshop. I bet it will be awesome! If you feel like talking about it, I'd love to hear!! :gimmehug: Cath |
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I am sorry to hear that you are still experiencing energetic hardships like that. It kind of makes one not want to put out energy for anyone. Life stealers are around in all walks of life and all circumstances. You and gryph have a lot around you that requests/requires your attention. Between the constant energy drain and the fibro girl you just are not catching any breaks. I am sure that there are lots of things that you have tried to make your energy come back up and stay put. I wish I had a simple all round effective answer for you. I am relieved to hear that you are disconnected from the primary energy drain and that your emotional balance has come back. I have had experiences with energy drains, but not to the extent that you are experiencing for the length of time you are experiencing it. I wonder if your condition is made more vulnerable by your fibro? From what you are saying they are all interconnected and affect you greatly. Then the furbabies, you really have your hands full. I read your posts and your references to what your furbabies are going through & I am relieved that they have as supportive and caring a parent as you two are. They are great gifts to you, from what you have said, and they seem to have come to you with the need to be loved and taken care of. Mother Nature knew she had a good caretaker in you. Now, if she could just shoot you some extra cash now and then to help with the cost load that would be great!! I will keep in touch regarding the workshop. I am trying to work on my own self sabotage pattern. I will be journeying to try to find the root cause for my legs and feet getting injured just as I am really into my exercise and weight loss. This last one happened on Friday. I got a blister on my ankle a bad one so this week I am out of exercise. So... back to yoga... I will keep in touch!!!:byebye: |
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Ain't that the truth!! But I can't help it; tis always my first impulse. I'm gettin' a lot of headaches lately, trying... evidently it's still too soon. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Foxy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I hope things are going well for you! Quote:
Sometimes you have to make your own breaks, look at your life and say, "what makes it better? what makes it worse?" and then do something about what makes it worse. That's why I'm not online so much anymore--and the past couple of days when I *have* been online a lot, I notice the difference! Quote:
Near as I can figure. A lot of it seems to be automatic. Several years ago a healer told me it was no wonder my muscles were all knotted up like iron, that I'd been trying to armor the world out since I was a child--and she had the right of it. Now I have shields to do that job, but I also have the fibro. Thank you for wishing to make it better. I appreciate that! Quote:
I think that you think I'm better than I am. *sigh* And extra cash would be lovely. I have a three week lay-off just as the gas bill is going down--and the electric bill is going up! Not even a week between the furnace and the fans, and we'll be wanting the air conditioner pretty quick here--like tomorrow!--unless I just stop cooking and doing laundry. Sheesh! (Welcome to Kansas, lol!) Quote:
My spring good mood has vanished under the threat of 96 degree weather the next two days (35.56 C). I mowed the lawn yesterday, thanks be! Guess most of my house and yard work will have to move to the early morning hours, since the day's low is usually at 6 am. (I am SOOO not a morning person.) Sometimes I wonder if it would be possible to limit a climate with energy work, to call the rain on a regular basis (without tornados, tyvm), to keep the temps below 85, to just in general make it pleasant all summer long. I suspect it would take a PILE of energy-work to make something like that happen.... and then, one would have to wonder about places up and down the line, whether the energy-work might be changing their weather for the worse.... that's why I don't do it; I always worry about the consequences to everyone else. Love to you! Talk soon! Cath, ramblin' on.... |
Hey y'all, how are you this week? Hope things are going well for everyone!
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Hello everyone...
I got some shocking gossip about me yesterday. And it makes me mad mad mad. Fuck... I bust my ass to do all I can do and all I am trained to do... and then I hear that I am getting a reputation for having 'gone to dark side'. WTF !!!! Seriously... cause you know I want to see the darkest underbelly of human nature... yup I do. And then I want to get all evil. Yes that's it. And then next I will probably start doing "satan" work. Gone to the dark side... I have been to the dark side and you know if you open your freaking eyes, you can see in the dark, but only if you are brave enough and look hard enough. I wish these pansy assed people who want to talk about me, without knowing me, could come and tell me to my face. Anyway... :rant: 20 years at this and I still face marginalization and misinformation and all the other crap that goes with it. Why o why could I not just be another "fluffy" and be done with it. :soapbox: <please return to your regular scheduled programming> :angry: :explode: |
Whew
I am all better now. Sometimes I just need to :phonegab: (or BFP Gab) to help work through stuff.
I have to keep reminding myself of all of the good deeds and things that go on. Not only done by myself, but also by those around me. We are more than the sum of our deeds. I am one person, in a world of billions, and realistically I am one very tiny cog in the wheel of life. Getting myself bent out of shape like that simply reminds me that I am still human. And to be human is what I am here for. Thanks for listening...:canadian: |
Memorial Day SALUTE to all my Pagan Brothers & Sisters that have or are still serving. To the surviving Families as well.
http://www.circlesanctuary.org/ministries/military/ |
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I haven't been online much, but I was just today having a conversation with my eldest about how she may very well be an empath & needs to be mindful about the people she spends time with...& I caught a radio show on the horrible treatment a lot of fibromyalgia patients have received from the medical professionals they consult. & my counsellor recently asked me if I have been diagnosed with fibro....hmmmm.... :tea: |
Wow...didn't mean to kill the thread...
:confused: I wonder if my daughter IS an empath... :confused: I wonder if being empathic contributes to having fibromyalgia... :confused: I wonder if I should be concerned about these aches & pains... :confused: I wonder where everybody went :confused: |
Here is to hoping I will have someone to celebrate samhain with. Seems like everyone wants drunken debauchery and candy around here.
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A Spring Equinox Ritual
On March 17 I will be once again putting on my annual Waking the Bear Ritual.
I just wanted to share some of my writing with you. If anyone is curious about Eros, or any other stuff... feel free to ask. Poke around my site if you like... http://www.changingwoman.ca Why are we gathering you may ask. And I would say, good question. The short answer, is cause we always do. And you may ask…always? To which I would sheepishly reply…well for years now. Waking the Bear is the most sumptuous spring ritual you will ever find ’round these parts. It contains… drumming… yes, yes it does. It contains…. singing… well maybe not YOU, but you could if you really wanted to. It also contains (finger to lips…shhhhhh) BEARS. Yup that is true. Now don’t go telling any park rangers we snuck their bears into the hall. Nope, don’t do that. Cause well… I may get into trouble. Oh… and there is a story telling. Why yes there is. I’m on the trail of a Peruvian story called “Why the Foxes tail is Black“. Now those who know me, know that that would just about make me crazy happy to find a story like that to tell. Oh and there will be puppets. I know, I know… what on earth is an adult doing with a puppet? You will never know unless you come. I can’t give away ALL my secrets here. Now, if you are just as curious as I am excited, we might just get along. If you are even a wee bit more curious read on. I will carry on my discussion of “Waking Up Bears”. Spring Equinox is March 21. Now some will tell you its March 20, but hell, why split hairs. Oopps sorry, wrong voice. Equinox, as you are well aware, is when the hours of sunlight and darkness are as close to equal as they can be. But why Bears? Why Waking the Bear? Cause Bear said so, and if you have ever met Bear, when Bear says something, generally, paying attention is a REALLY GOOD IDEA. For centuries we have venerated the Bear. We see the Being in the Sky, Ursa Major. We see the Being, Bear, as our Brother. We know Bear as one of the first healers. Bear has come to us in our dreams, in our journeys, even in our childhood stories. The Constant Dreamers. Bear is forever lumbering across the darkest of the darkest skies, the Northern Skies, never entering light… always dwelling between the places. Bear, although a tough teacher, is also a Being of incredible love and kindness. Eros, the Primordial Being of Love, transformed into many shapes. Bear is one of the manifestations of Eros. Love can be both brutal and gentle, much like Bear. As the year progresses ever closer to December 21, 2012 we have been asked to spiritually prepare ourselves for a most auspicious celestial event. Like Love, Healing can be both strong and gentle. Healing does not have to be outward to others, it can also be inward to ourselves. Bear usually comes at this time of year to awaken us from our slumber, clean the cobwebs from our psyche and prepare us for the planting time. Ready yet?? Waking the Bear – March 17, 2012 When we Dreamt the Dark for Winter Solstice we sang, drummed and aspected Eros. We learnt the word “parthenogenesis” which comes from the Greek parthenos, meaning “virgin”, and genesis, meaning “birth”. Just in case you missed that the first time <insert fun wink> We discussed the duality of Eros the “ two-sexed, two-faced, glorious Eros”. Eros portrayed as a beautiful golden-winged hermaphroditic deity wrapped in a serpent’s coils. I picture the coils of the serpent to be silver, liquid silver. Eros, in the beginning myths, was that of “coming together of that which has always been separate.” The Unconscious and the Conscious… the Primordial Creative Cause – the element that binds and attracts Spirit and Matter together. The binding together of two aspects of Eros – the penetration & blending energy of matter, with its counterpart and complement, Spirit. Esoterically, Eros is the leading force within a seeker that takes her/him away from a level of duality to a level of unity and wholeness. Eros wedded Psyche – Goddess of our Soul. Eros bestowed upon us a powerful vision; the passionate bond between the Seer and the Seen. Cosmic Eros “creates living seeds” and harmonizes the random elements of Primal Chaos and Primal Earth into a living world. Eros not only drives all organisms to procreation, but also into relationship with each other: mating, bonding, nurturing, and all other forms of desiring, not excluding hunting and preying, for passion hungers like the hunter for its prey. Eros is the cosmic force which causes the unmanifest (Chaos) to seek self-manifestation: it is divine love, will, desire; the desire to manifest in creative activity, and thus to give life and existence to all beings. This desire, which “arises first in It”, is in the gods and in all nature. After the worlds have been manifested, Eros then becomes, the ever-active force which brings together and combines the elemental atoms. Funky heh!! I thought so. And then I asked to be placed in the Bears Den and Dream Waking the Bear. How does a Bear Dream from Eros. How do we gather to Manifest Bear from the “ever active force which brings together and combines”… Bear, The First Being; One of THE ANCESTORS. A sky nation recognized by Beings on Earth. Bear led me on a Dream…. Come on into the Den…. You know you wanna…. <insert yet another playful wink> On March 17 – Waking the Bear – we seek to expose the soil of our souls; the dark rich soil, much like the Dark – Den – Bear – Slumbers. In. Waking the Bear, our chance to connect with our Constant Dreamer. Bear also known as the Dreamer That Never Awkens. Dream on Mama, Dream On Give me Your Visions Mama We seek Bear Dreams the World – the Constant Dreamer, as our guide to waking our Dreamer within. Eros awoke us to the Duality the Unconscious and Conscious within ourselves. Now, we must awaken from the slumber of the Dark Night and put our Dreams into Action. Do we have a clear vision? A good question to ask ourselves. I do not know what position, or role, you will take in the coming time nor do I have to… our work together for Waking the Bear is just about March 17, 2012. How, you will be, on March 18, 2012, is your own story.. your own mystery… a mystery of which I am not involved in.. but for right that night…you are in My Dream, My Mama Bear Dream, you are all a part of Bears dream to Embody (Aspectors), Aliven (Joikers) and awaken Her Dream (Drummers) … We are all a part of the Dreamer That Never Awkens. Constant Dreamer, Dream On Mama Dream On We are in very troublesome times. However, as the end of 2012 approaches, my dreams are asking me to become solid within myself (ourselves) and (my) our own intuition BEFORE we reach out to others. I Give you My Body Mama We are all gathered here and we are all healers in our right. Bear in long old myths refer to Bear as the Original Healer. It is speculated, and I imagine true, our Ancestors – GLOBALLY – watched what Bears ate, so they too could learn which plants are safe. So, how did they know the Bear stomach would be similar… and not the Dear? Just asking…. We know some of our strengths, but certainly not all of them. Healers come in all forms, shapes and sizes. All forms of abilities. Some, gasp, even work with the Light. Why yes, yes they do. Shocking to the likes of me… <smiling> One aspect of healing for me is altering the world from within the parameters you have. Waking the Bear require the Dreamer within each of us, to be awoken (oxymoron I know, but…) to function fully from Higher Self and ourHigher Place. Much like Eros, the Constant Dreamer, is considered to be a Spirit of Creation. There was a belief once commonly held that bear cubs were born without a physical form, and that their mothers licked them into shape, creating order out of Chaos. The Bear thus became widely seen as a symbol of creation. In Greek mythology it was the sacred animal of Artemis the huntress who, although a virgin, was also the Goddess of childbirth. Give me your Wisdom Mama The Bear is one of the symbols of renewal such as is the Moon and the World Tree. We are gathering together this evening to support one another in our endeavour to become more self-aware. Now self-knowledge is a solitary path, no one can do it for you and nothing can create it instantly for you. Our dial a day mentality does not lend itself to nurturing self awareness. As Bear is connected with each one of us, each one of us is connected to each other as well. On the Medicine Wheel North is the place of Community. Everything is Community. We are a part of the Whole, whether We are conscious of that or not. Reality does not necessarily require your belief to continue to exist. It can however, be shaped… Reality can be quite the mind bender. We do not know where the world is heading to politically, environmentally, socially or even human to human. We are gathered here today to Waken the Bear, The Bear is not only a healer but is guardian of the hidden time, the dream time… we are allowed this evening to take an active part of Bears Constant Dream. We will Breathe Deeply Bear, welcoming Her Wisdom through our Drums, Our Voices and Our Bodies. We sing songs of Bear to all of us and sing songs to awaken the Bear Within.. the healer, the mother, the father… the wisdom keeper. The time of Mudjekeewis is the Evening til Midnite, Autumn, our adult years to elder time. This is the time of slowing down, of taking stock of experiences, of going within, like the Grizzly in autumn, but going within spiritually, to gain strength from the knowledge thus gained; the time to prepare for the times of “winter” or later times. Like Eros, manifest the unmanifested. If you are reading this last sentence… Bravo, you have a great attention span. Thank you. I ask that you remember we are on this journey together. How can we truly do our spiritual walk and create a global spiritual community without walking through the fires together — confident that we have ancestral resources and spirit helpers that shall guide us and show us the way. All traditions, through their deep mystical paths — often hidden beneath contemporary, obscuring clothing–offer us much. Such explorations together can restore vision to eyes and hearts weary with the conflicts of the world. Thus restored, we can bring sustenance to others — and we need this in these times. |
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Thanks! You, too. :)
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DAYMN! THAT WAS GOOD! Thanks for sharing :poc-biggrin:
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