I wanna join this cuddle list... hehehe

Bumping
 

Is there more loving on the way?

*grins* i hadn't seen this before!!!!

And??? What do you have to say to the big butches?

C'mere... I got a lot of big love to give to someone special.

*bump* - "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"
 

Yes, I love big butches and I cannot lie...

As summer begins to wind down, my eyes drift (surreptitiously) to all the butch flesh which has been on display of late (and all that hasn't)... so naturally, a girl's mind does wander to butches in general, especially the big ones.

In case there are any remaining doubts for potential Big Butch Love converts (it is a bit like a religious experience...*), here are some things worth considering:

• First off, I know it's been mentioned before but it bears repeating: cuddles, cuddles, cuddles. Also, cuddles.
• Watching a big butch dismount a bike and showing off that beautiful, thick thigh (and/or backside, depending on your viewing angle). :blink:
• A large, fleshy body is so satisfying to make contact with, especially if you like things a little rougher behind closed doors: biting, scratching, clawing, grabbing, spanking... It's been my experience that a butch with a big body can take all of that and more (or give - if you or they are so inclined)... :heartbeat:
• Have you ever rested your head on the soft, oh-so-supple inner flesh of a big butch thigh?
• Being surrounded by those big butch thighs (and other things) and suddenly having the walls close in on you. :groucho:
• The way their clothing fits their frame. When wearing typically masculine/men's clothing, they cut a very different figure in the same outfit... and that figure is sexy.
• Full cheeks (top and bottom)!
• That sexy "thud" sound they make when you push them up against the wall... The bigger the butch, the bigger the "thud". :D
• Straddling (or at least attempting to straddle) a big butch's thighs.
• The way their body moves and shifts when lifting their shirt up and off; also, the image they create when on their backs with their wrists restrained above their head (hey, not all femmes are submissive, ya know...). :eyebat:
• The distinctive curve of their hips contrasted with whatever they're wearing over them.
• Rolling over in the middle of the night and seeing the silhouette of that expansive, beautiful back as she snoozes. :awww:
• Big butch laps!
• Wrapping your legs around their waist... and maybe not quite being able to lock your ankles because of all the butch between your thighs. :clap:
• Showing off their assets while squatting/bending down to pick something up ("oh, did I drop my lipstick? Can you get that for me? Thanks. Ohhh, I dropped it again. Slippery little sucker..."). :4femme:
• Being woken up by a big, heavy, randy butch lying on top of you, eyes dancing... (especially if you've suddenly been rolled onto your stomach...). :cheer:
• Lounging around at home, seeing fleshy butch toes peeking out from under long, loose jeans - so cute!
• The contrast of a femme's vs a big butch's hands and feeling those fingers intertwined.
• Being spooned by a big butch. :cheer:
• Spooning a big butch. :heartbeat:
• Did I mention cuddles? http://www.forestforum.co.uk/images/smilies/cuddle.gif

:heartbeat: :awww: :heartbeat:


* - If we do decide to make a religion out of this, I'm casting my vote for CherylNYC as pope considering she's already got a pretty badass popemobile ready to go. :harley:

I'm deeply flattered, but if we're going to start a Big Butch Love religion I vote for the kind with no Pope. Can we start one with a rotating cadre of femme griots who sing the praises of big butches? I haven't seen a praise song this beautiful and elegant, (not to mention HOT), in ages!

Ummm, maybe? :eyebrow: I'd have to test that theory before giving a definitive answer either way.

Awww, thank you! :blush: I'm just happy I'm not the only one who feels this way. :candle:

So, if we're not going to have a Pope (very democratic), then can we at least have some kind of symbol to sport so we can identify ourselves, like our very own Star of David or cross necklace? Maybe something like the mudflap girl but with different proportions and spiky hair? Or what about an exaggerated version of the fertility goddess symbol but sporting a fauxhawk and "leather" cuffs?
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/73...12854b06ba.jpg
(maybe we could make the belly swirl a rainbow?)
It could work!

...Something to say to the big, beautiful butch on the street that I'd like to "eat of her body" and kneel at her altar (without, you know, a sexual harassment charge... :police:)?

THAT is one form of "femme flagging" I'd be happy to partake in! :groucho: :cheesy:

Big butches warrant a big wall of text. :-)
 

There's something I'd like to touch on here for a bit, if I may, which I've noticed has come up here and elsewhere in threads about larger bodies, both butch and femme. There are always questions about who belongs, who it's for, what "qualifies" one to be considered "big," "large," "BBW," whatever word you choose... and also what the purpose of this thread is beyond some "rah, rah, rah, you do you" body positivity cheerleading which I know, while feeling nice at the time, can ring a little hollow in the face of all of the body shaming it's stacked up against.

Here's the thing: If you feel this applies to you, then it does. This thread is for people who fall outside the norm or have been made to feel that way because their size by someone's definition (either their own or someone else's) falls outside the acceptable parameters of what a good butch is, what's sexy, what's attractive, what could be considered desirable by both members of their culture or subculture and by current or prospective love interests. This thread here is for big butches, specifically, and the unique ways in which their bodies exist and are understood.

Butches in particular get so much shit from both inside and outside the community in ways I'm sure I don't have to detail for those here. To have their size and the bodies they inhabit mocked or put down on top of that, perhaps it even being said their bodies invalidate their expression of butch or their validity as a butch person, it just seems particularly ugly when, in fact, they are truly beautiful. Looking through the posts here will tell you that. To see such positive, affirming, and loving words by some of the members here is heartening and it makes me feel good for us as a community.

I've also seen some people posting here and in other threads bring up questions about if they're considered "big" or if this body type or that body type is considered large by other posters or if this or other threads are for them. Here is what I think.

It's for the bodies whose photos are hard to find. It's for the bodies whose photos never happen. It's for the bodies whose photos only happen from the shoulders up. It's for the bodies who will sweat and wilt and suffer in blistering heat and freeze in bone chilling cold because their owners have been taught that other people's callous conceptions about those bodies and what they should look like and how much space they are "allowed" to take up are more important than their own safety and comfort. It's for bodies whose owners think others shouldn't be "forced" to look at them and so they cover them up and try to hide. It's for the bodies which are derisively thought of when some hateful asshole labels someone a "fat dyke" or equates "butch" with "ugly." It's for the butches who may never be approached by mainstream LGBTQ organizations to appear in a calendar, a magazine, news article, or online feature for fear of conforming to old stereotypes while that organization engages in the queer version of "respectability politics." It's for the bodies which not only have a hard time finding clothing which they feel themselves in because of their gender expression but also because of their size and who may never feel fully comfortable, even in their own skin. It's for the bodies and their owners who do not feel that they fit in or represent a good specimen of what a "butch" is or should look like. It's for the bodies which, shouldering the burden of representing the entire community as a whole while in isolation from the rest, feel they're letting the community down and only reinforcing stereotypes by virtue of their existence. It's for the bodies whose owners who, while perhaps intellectually understanding that there is nothing wrong with them, most days cannot bring themselves to look into a full length mirror. It's for the bodies which can sometimes be a physical manifestation of someone's efforts to kill their pain... or to avert it. It's for the bodies which have been concern-trolled by loved ones and lovers instead of embraced and kissed and celebrated for who and what they are. It's for the bodies whose owners are only allowed to "live" fully after reaching an externally or internally imposed goal.

It's for the bodies whose owners feel they must first shrink themselves in order to feel worthy of love.

You are not ugly. You do not "look good for your size." Your attractiveness does not have a qualifier. You are attractive and you are wanted because of what you are and not in spite of it, full stop. Your body makes so many chests swell and hearts go pitter-pat. Your body makes knees weak and cheeks blush. It makes people fall in love with you and compete for you and make love to you and want to be with you... and you are no one's consolation prize.

Personally, I don't like you because I think that all bodies are beautiful. I like you and I want you because you are beautiful.

I've read every post in this thread, some more than once (and some much more than once) and I loved reading all the different ways and conceptions of honouring large butch bodies and seeing big butches through someone else's eyes. I've loved and smiled at the butches responding with incredulity, bashfulness, happiness, and yes, desire. It has made me cry more than once to see adult people, some in their 40s, 50s, and beyond, expressing disbelief at the idea that someone could want them for them and who and what they are and not as something to be settled for or willfully overlooked. It also makes me laugh and grin to see them coming around to the idea and egging the others on to stroke their big butch tail feathers just a little more. I think this is one of my favourite threads because it is so human.

I mentioned the symbol for lovers of big butches as yes, partly comedic relief but also half in seriousness. I think the desire for big butches, it's worth codifying and being "A Thing" with a capital "T." It needs to be something understood and accepted and not seen as a fringe-y element of a fringe-y group within an already seemingly oddball, rainbow-coloured fringe. I think there's power in appropriating a symbol not originally made for you (and even perhaps made to exclude you) while at the same time rejecting it and stating unequivocally your active desire for something else without apology or explanation. It's a radical thing for women to do and, especially when it comes to woman-identified butches, how much more so is it for women when it comes to desiring other women? Big butches are not exactly considered the norm in any respect, even within our community, and for me, my desire for them is "queer" in the truest sense of the word. My desires are queering in their effect, both on my own life and those who see me live it, as by their very nature they are not heteronormative nor most people's idea of what a "respectable" queer will do and they are an active rejection of that mould. A big butch body is not leftovers or what I can "get" or will settle for. It's what I actively want, outside the norm, outside of influence, outside of external factors, outside of everything, and inside of me.

When I write in this thread, I try to give specifics which I think might resonate with both those who may consider themselves big butches and those who love them because of my own experiences in various points and places in time of being made to feel "less than," unattractive, bigger than "normal," or tolerated but not desired. It's one thing to give generic platitudes of "all bodies are beautiful" and "big is beautiful" and "real X's have Y's" (which just substitutes one body's denigration for another...), but to hear and see signifiers that I understand as my lived experience treated with care, affection, and desirability, that, to me, makes a difference, and I hope that in some small way this thread does the same for those who need it.

Some individuals have messaged me privately expressing appreciation for what I and others have written and I get it. It's not always enough to just wave your hand and say someone's beautiful and then hope that that takes care of everything... not when they've been told over and over again for years and sometimes even a lifetime that they're not. These feelings didn't develop in a vacuum. You need to let them know why you think they're beautiful. You need to let them know what you desire about them. You need to let them know how they make you feel and you need to let them know who you are so that they can recognize that people like you genuinely exist. You can't just say someone's beautiful and leave it at that.

You need to give them a reason to believe you.

I would also like to touch on the use of "beautiful" as a descriptor of butches. I know that some may chafe under or cringe at that word, see it as feminizing, emasculating, or even a bit "fluffy." Here's why I use it. How I look at it is if something as ephemeral and ungendered as a sunset, a summer's day, a piece of music, or even a piece of machinery can be described as beautiful, so can a human being, regardless of gender or presentation. Men can be beautiful. Women can be beautiful. Anyone who doesn't ascribe to traditional conceptions of masculinity or femininity or embodies both together, can be described as beautiful. I think it's an important term to use here because it feels important to talk about these bodies with a reverence and frank desire, the same reverence and desire which I have known and felt for them, to express it openly and without qualifiers or apologies, and to restore to a public forum the concept of their desirability in whatever way possible... and also to use a word which is familiar to us as denoting positivity, praise, and unquestioned, untrammelled, uncontroversial desirability. There is nothing aberrant or unnatural about wanting and desiring a big butch with a big body. It feels natural to me to describe someone I love and desire as beautiful because that is the word I am used to having employed by the culture at large for the things I hold dear and precious and I don't want to separate my love for big butches as something different or strange which somehow does not (or should not) fall under that umbrella. I want them under that umbrella and I want to keep them safe from the torrent of acidic judgments, comments, and ugliness which have been known to rain down on them. You're bloody right I think they're beautiful. They are.

All of this is to say that if you've read everything written here (and bless you if you have) and you think that most, if not all of what has been described applies to you, then yes, it does, and this thread is for you. I think this thread functions best when it's descriptive and not prescriptive. This space doesn't need to serve as a place for excluding some bodies over others, or saying that one body is better than another, or even setting up some sort of objective, external standard of what it means to be a big butch or to belong in this space. That's not how I understand it. From what I've seen thus far, this thread is for big butches and the people who love them. I am hopeful that in time there will be more posts from the butches themselves describing the ways others have expressed appreciation and love for them and their bodies and other positive observations they may have about what it means for them to be a big butch... but in the meantime I'm happy to be a small part of a thread which, however superficially, can help big butches feel loved and desired because I think that, in the end, ultimately that is what this thread is for. It serves a very specific purpose for a very specific group and that's okay. And there's something very beautiful about that.

It may be only one small spot of one small website in one small corner of the universe, but, much like the butches it describes, it's very much needed and appreciated and loved... and I'm so glad that both it and they exist. :)

TL;DR: Big butches are beautiful. :rose:

Fantastic. You need cloning. Each Big Butch could be issued with one of you and a set of pom-poms. You can then follow us around, celebrating us with these words of wisdom and then we'll take you home and reward you in ways that will make your toes curl.

Okay. I've been pondering...

What would the femmes of this thread think to a big butch strip show? I'm thinking along the lines of The Full Monty - authentic and brave - rather than some glitzy Vegas style polished version.

Any takers?

Hell yes! That would be amazing.

Another big butch lover here. Oh how I do love everything about them. They are just so easy to....melt into. I love watching them have a good loud belly laugh, or even better, having a good belly laugh with them. And the cuddles, of course. Yep, big butches give me butterflies.

When do tickets go on sale? :cheer:

Yum, yum, yummy!

Omg.... have you just been teasing us?!?!?!

There's NO Big Butch review?!?!?

Dude? can we keep our boots on?

Well, I will admit to being a tease in certain circumstances, mainly those where the element of anticipation will enhance the end result. Still, that's a conversation for another thread.

As for this particular scenario, I think the big butch appreciators may need to make a little more noise to encourage some of our shyer big butches to step forward...

Absolutely. Boots and cowboi hats perhaps? The latter could be useful near the end.

Yes! I insist.... *snickering

Who do I bribe, I mean pay off, uh, ,......

How do I acquire back stage V.I.P.Pass?

I wouldn't consider myself overweight, but I also know I am not small, or fit, or thin. I have been calling myself fat for years, and it wasn't until very recently that I decided to stop that, and to instead refer to myself as husky. I'm making an effort to embrace my size, and instead of focusing on my gut or the wideness of my hips, I'm looking at the wideness of my shoulders and the sheer power of my size when I stand proud.

I'm big enough to scoop up my femme, big enough to carry the heavy stuff, big enough to scare away assholes. If I was smaller, I wouldn't appear as powerful or strong. I've worked out and dieted enough times to say to myself...no, this is okay. You're a husky butch, and that's great. Now eat that fucking burger because you want to.

As I sit here resting my coffee cup on my gut, I'm not sure what I'll write but I'll just let it come out....

I'm a bigger Butch. My weight fluctuates, when I'm happy I gain weight. When I'm not, I lose it. My most recent break up left me 20 lbs lighter but it's coming back as it always does. I like to eat. What can I say?

I'm almost 5'9" and just shy of 200lbs at this point. I tend to struggle with my own weight issues more than I get them from others. What if I gain weight, will so and so not like me anymore? That's a hard one to work through when you are in a relationship or not in a relationship. Thankfully, none of my past gfs have ever judged me for my weight and have never left me because I gained or lost for that matter. No one has ever said, C, do you really want to eat all of those chocolate chip cookies? My answer would have been, not unless you want to share them with me.


99% of my pics are selfies because I'm too shy or embarrassed to ask someone to take a full length picture of me. So because my face is thinner, it may (or may not) look like I'm thinner than I am. I always make it a point to tell anyone I'm seriously going to date that I am by no means thin because I don't like surprises. (I always cringe a little not knowing what their reaction will be.) If I show up and am not what you expect, what a waste of time for you and definitely for me!


I remember way back in the stone ages, when there were no online forums such as these. I would pick up the local gay paper and look at the personal ads. (anyone else remember these?) I would read post after post of how they did NOT want Butches or fatties. It was so depressing because what if you were both? I never answered any of them anyway but still. What's wrong with being Butch and what is wrong with being large? People are cruel.
Right?

So fast forward to more recent. Holy hell, there are women called femmes that want Butches? Wow! Then, holy hell, there are women who are femmes that don't care about your weight and even like bigger guys?! Wow! Really Wow!

With that in mind, I want to thank all of you who love us for who we are, no matter our size because you can see the beauty that we are. Speaking for myself now, without you, I know I would be a pretty lonely guy and that is not the way I want to live my life. I want to be loved and appreciated for me and so many of you know exactly what that means and how to make me/us feel special.

I'm a Bigger Butch. I can be handsome, sexy and yes even beautiful because you help me see those things in me.

So thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You too are appreciated!

Thought I might come back around here again... hi folks...

This is a great thread. To read everyone's, both butch and femme alike, responses is enlightening.

I've never thought of myself as big until the last couple of years. Technically speaking, based on BMI and height-weight charts, I have always been overweight. Even in peak physical condition in high school and college (I was a swimmer).

I have naturally big shoulders, that are a source of pride really. I like how they look. And I have always been muscular. But over the last few years I've developed a gut. It's a sore spot for me.

I workout regularly. Lift weights, run, yoga, etc. I try to eat right, though I'm a sucker for pizza, burgers, and beer. Lol.

Life would be easier if I just accepted that I have the gut. If I was just happy with the body I'm in, because really there is nothing wrong with it. But even if I accepted it, it doesn't mean other people would.

My dad always comments about my size. My mom tells me every time she sees me that I need to "lose the gut". Or will give me a look when I'm eating something she doesn't approve of.

So that leads me to a bad place. If my parents can't accept my size, how am I going to find a woman to love me in spite of it? Honestly, it's why I haven't even put myself out there to find a gf. I figured I didn't stand a chance.

You shouldn't be finding someone who loves you Despite how you look. Someone will love you because of how you look. If you are attracted to a femme, in spite of her size, that is going to be felt. I'd hate that.
I find people hot because of how they think, how they move, how they handle their own bodies. I like a sense of confidence in movement. It's shows a sense of grace. That's hot. I've been with butches from size 8 to size 28. Literally. They were all very, very sexy in their bodies because of how they moved and held themselves. My physical attractions are about sense of self in body, movement, gesture, confidence, owning their space in a variety of ways that people do. That and being a bit cocky, playfully sarcastic, dark humoured and smart. Open about their desires. The willingness to experiment.
Hot. Very hot.

Some femmes actually prefer a big butch to cuddle up to and love. I am one of those femmes. So I say go out there and find your beautiful femme, she is probably looking for you too.

bumping.......bump bump.....
 

In that case I shall answer your call Clay !!

OK, As this thread is entitled Big Butch Love I will state that yes bigger butches are indeed easy on the eye....that said so are thinner butches too ! OK that sounds like I am sitting on the fence right ?! The thing is I really do love peoples uniqueness, and I find beauty/attractiveness in all those little details. It can be an accent, the way they laugh, the way their hair falls...no hair, skinned off even, a walk, swagger...hands, how they rest them on their thighs palms down, hook a thumb in a pocket....all the little details. And their energy. The most beautiful thing about any butch is how they make you feel when you are around them, make me feel relaxed and at ease and you have my attention. And frankly all of these things can come in any/many types of packages......you can be tall, short, slender, burly...do like that word...burly..yes indeed.

I can say the love of my life is a couple of inches shorter than me and I wouldnt say heavy by any means though she would say she needs to loose a few pounds, though working nights in the medical profession throws her eating habits out a lot.

All that said though if I was pressed I would say ideally I would be more likely to be drawn to a heavier butch.....also be greying,,,,have those wrinkly crinkly sparkly eyes too......older than me....and top it all off with the gentlest smile !

So yes, Big Butch Love abounds from Daisy.....{that took me long enough to get to the point eh !! }

Daisy :bouquet:

Let's talk about what it's like to be heavy, overweight or however you would like to refer to it.

Does it affect your self-esteem?
When I was younger my size did affect my self-esteem.I have always been a big girl.My body is built like a guys,wide shoulders,no ass.
Does it prevent you from getting dates?
Actually the opposite.Some ladies are quite intrigued once they know i'm a woman.
Do you feel unattractive to femmes?
When I stand next to anything femme,the sight alone is magnificent if not threatening to some...*shrugs*
Do you attract women to date?
Yes
Are you doing anything to lose weight?
I'm around 195-200lbs.I feel healthy and strong so no.
Are you satisfied with how you look?
Yes
Do you have weight goals or not?
My doctor has goals,but he's an asshole.
Are you happy and in love without weight ever being a factor?
I like "meat" on my bones,I like "meat" on my partners bones.
Does your partner want you to lose weight or not?
I haven't heard any complaints.
Do others see you as lovable and sexy just as you are?
I don't care what others see me as,i'm comfortable in my own skin.

Well,that was fun...moving on..

I never have seen it that way. People tell me that I am small but I don't feel that way. I actually don't like being called small.....

My mother told me, every single day, how fat I was (at the time, I was a size 7).... She was thin (a size 3). What I am trying to say is that what one person appears to see is not what the rest of the world sees.

So what if you have a beer belly? You are still the same person.... just sayin.

*bumping for the big butches and their fans*

I'm still loving... from afar... at the moment.