I was working through some paperwork today with two women from Dubai. One was translating for the other but was pretty early on in her process of learning English. We all approached it with a fun and positive attitude. So we had some very creative discussions, including some impromptu interpretive dance, to have fun while trying to get the necessary information. We all had fun getting there together. This included a very colorful vocab lesson.

I can't even get into it all. I've laughed so much in the last 24 hours that my abs and face hurt. Let's just say my weekend on the mountain with my friends was epic.

I know I am always posting about my nephews but they definitely crack me up. Jefferson, the 6 yr old, was dancing and started twerking. I laughed so hard I almost passed out!

Coded messages...(adorbs)

I set myself on fire.

Yes, that warrants a crack me up. There is a ledge in front of the fireplace where I sit to put my boots on. THIS time, I had on my big jacket, leaned back and smelled something a little funny. Smoke wafted in my peripheral and oh boy! I ran outside and rolled in the snow!

All is well, and I feel totally stupid.

http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/image...st-firepla.jpg

My raccoon eyes when I sneezed right after putting on mascara. #femmethings.

I colored two pictures recently: one, that's an adorable depiction of a giraffe couple in love, and another picture depicting and angry Great White Shark with blood red teeth and jaws. I framed them both and the pictures hang on my bedroom wall... but the other night when Juan was here, he complimented my colored drawings. I told him that the shark was born out of our love making, *lol*. The look on his face cracked me up, that night, but whenever I look up at my colored drawings now, I crack up in giggles because of our private conversation about our "baby" and the priceless look on Juan's face after hearing my rationale on how we gave birth to an angry shark (lololol). :blush:

A couple of months ago, I purchased 'Dump Trump' dog waste bags. I use them every day to clean up after my dogs. Last evening, I took one of the dogs on a walk at a park behind the house, she did her business and I went to clean it up when an elderly couple were walking towards us and noticed the waste bag. Their eyes were super big and they both started laughing hysterically. He said, "this has been one of the worst days of my life and thank you for this gift of laughter, albeit momentary."

We engaged in a brief but lovely conversation. They are both retired professors with 4 children, one of whom is a gay man they have loved and supported.

I will remember that moment where the three of us forgot, if only for a moment the gloom of the political events of yesterday.

Here are the bags. :)


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Watching Trump in church made me laugh so hard I had to leave the room (I'm at work)

He so obviously didn't have a damn clue

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Worry Bout Yourself
 

Female Legislators Unveil Male Ejaculation Bill Forbidding The Disposal Of Unused Semen


WASHINGTON, DC (By J. McConkey)—A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of “unused” sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic.

According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for “procreation only” and not to be “wasted” on pleasure:

“Any sperm not being used for the purpose of procreation must be immediately donated to a sperm bank,” Yorke warned. “Failure to do so will lead to hefty fines and ultimately, incarceration, under the new ‘Level Playing Field Bill’.”

In response, leading male medical academics have raised concerns that refraining from masturbation would be hazardous to men’s testicular health, increasing their chances of prostate cancer.

Dr. David Ambrose hit out at the bill, claiming it put American men in the very difficult position of having to father and immediately surrender a child, everytime they ejaculate. He claims this will have very negative effects on men’s long-term mental health.

http://www.burrardstreetjournal.com/...culation-bill/

http://fooyoh.com/files/attach/image...14/semen10.gif

While watching texas flip n move, one of the Snow sisters said "the ice box" will go right there. Cracked me up because Ive never heard it called that except by my grandma and she's been gone over 30 years.

Passing notes back and forth with my daughter tonight, rather than speaking. Some notes were words, some were just silly drawings.

Also, getting my old lady cat high on catnip she was begging for. Then seeing her little brother roll around in the leftover catnip and then get in a wrestling match with the other sister cat. They went at it hard and little sister cat, who was not high on catnip, won an indisputable win.

A few moments ago, I cleared all of the texts from my phone, plugged the charger in and set it down a couple of feet away from where I am sitting. About a minute later I hear a distinctly female voice say, "If you just said something, I did not hear what it was!" I was somewhat surprised, seeing as I live alone and the radio/tv are not on. Lol! Then I realised my phone was speaking to me. As it turns out, I had accidently hit Google speak as I was laying the phone down.

A meme on FB my crazy friend posted. It was hilarious. Something about the wife asking if he wanted chicken, lamb or fish for dinner and the husband says chicken. She says "You're eating soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat"!

I wasn't ready for that...lmbo!
( Yes, I'm about as crazy as he is. )

Conversation with a co-worker:

Them: "Remember that diet pill back in the 90's that gave everyone the runs?"

Me: "Oh yeah! They would poop orange grease?"

Them: "YES! Can you believe people still took that even though it did that?"

Me: "Listen we've got a pile of greasy, orange shit in the White House as we speak so yeah, I can believe it."

Them: "But they PAID for that! That pile of shit BOUGHT his!"

Please make that into a cartoon strip, with a blip of the pile of greasy, orange shit sitting behind his desk, and submit it to all the right places. I'm sure there will be at least one to print it!

Watching JD on FaceTime and seeing a remnant of a ring around his wrist from one of the 30 pairs of rubber gloves he wears every day.

My face: :|

"Um, sweetie? Is that a piece of a rubber glove?"

JD: :blush:

Listening to funny stories about an expensive truck wash that resulted in a dirty truck, and other funny stories of the Life and Travels of Blade. (I think he still needs to start a blog about "how does this shit happen")

And reading an article where Pink was quoted calling Trump "our so called leader"....LOVED THAT and love gutzy, strong willed Pink.

My best friend telling me to go get my hair cut. (My wild curls after my shower must have scared them.)