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over 50
The other night, a younger friend of mine, a butch, who knows I've been single for almost two years, asked me if I had ever considered friends with benefits - my response was no, (wanted to sing - baby I was born this way) - and at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, why I can't just let go, enjoy making love for the excitement of it all - why can't I be polymorphous and know it is ok to be in a polyamorous relationship.
The people I'm most attracted to, those who I have come in contact with over the last few months, live hundreds of miles from Alabama - long distant committed relationships seeing someone once a year doesn't work for me - If I'm committed to someone I want to see them at least once a month, and I would prefer they live the same town. But if I were poly, I would have choices, variety, and maybe I wouldn't dwell on the "age" factor - someone being too young for me, and I wouldn't have to worry that I'm took kink or not kink enough. I don't know - I thought I did - but being without a partner has caused me to rethink my belief that being in a manogamous relationship maybe helps someone to grow and it isn't as off track for me as it seems - and what I know about me, I'm so frigging partner oriented, I want to be in love with one person, I want to share intimate moments with one person, I want to give one special person my attention, my devotion, and my love - and I don't like sharing. So, can you teach an old dog new tricks of the heart? |
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Howdy loft dwellers ....
Ladyrein... welcome 2 the loft, just b urself . As 4 me... watching my cat frm hell... and tanked ha... cuddling up in my blankie sipping sm ginger ale,and eating sm Imodium AD. not feeling 2 well 2 nite. Hey ruth Osbutch i only took 2 and deleted1.. and no wont post it without permission :) |
Thought I could at least poke my head in and say hello. Sad that vacation has come to an end, and that I have to deal with some things I'd rather keep at a distance. Anyway, hope you all are enjoying your weekend.
Sue |
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I am feeling down tonight... my body is stopping me from doing things that I want to do. Keeping me from spending time with my friends. I don't usually whine about it... but 2 days in a row is a bit much. oh well Gotta find something else to do with my day tomorrow... WILL NOT stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Dear LadyRieinAL and Ruthie, I do have a bunch to say on your posts, I am in the same boat( since I am the butch, I will row, if you all don't mind;) )
Unfortunately, it is late and I need to think clearly. But for now, changing the core you and your beliefs in my opinion, may not be the answer. Jo |
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Have a great Sunday all! Ruthie |
Morning loft dwellers and peekers another day at the office headng 2 ..... Toledo.... Catch yal on the flip side ... :) |
Good Mornin Folks and All; Been a peepin for years, but then again, I'm a psychological antique:blink:It's always nice to see the ladies up and at em in here. School started in town today. Seems a bit early. It's the coolest August I've ever seen here. Makes me wonder what winter will be like. Well, that's all for now. Take care of yourselves Folks.
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School already?
It sure starts early in the US of A. My little grandson is all excited about grade 3. It has been frightfully hot here in B.C., Glenn, so a little cooler weather would be very nice. The blackberries are now ripe, so that is on my list of todos. I need to get picking and freezing.
I sure don't like that little "Canadian" emicon thing. We don't talk like that. lol:canadian: Have a super week everyone. Candice |
Howdy Glenn nd fever... :)
I have landed in ah .. Byrcus,ohiya..... and pkng up a load here in the morning and headng down to Princeton,Ind..... |
A friend of mine had to put her 17 year old pit mix down today. I am so sad.... her dog Kelsey and I spent a LOT of time together over the last couple years. Her mommy had to go away for work a lot so she would often spend 3 to 4 days a week at my house. Sometimes a couple of weeks. It breaks my heart. Run swiftly over the rainbow bridge my friend!
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Morning loft dwellers and peekers
am hanging near Electrocell territory..... yeha. dont hav a. Load yet which is fine i need 2 get sm paintings done. Ruth sorry 4 the loss |
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There is a thread on the Planet called something like poly and mono. I think the upshot is that you are either wired for poly or you are not. I have never been able to have sex without deep feelings, on my way to being in love. My wires don't work that way. Do I think how much more simple my life would be? Yes and no. If it could be done in the right head space, yes. Me? I would not feel good about myself. I do not judge others that can do it and a matter of fact, I have a little bit of envy because they can. The age thing? Yes, that is hard for me. My ex-girlfriend was 10-years younger. Just this week I got an email on a lesbian dating site that I had not even looked at in almost 9-months, from a butch 15-years younger than I. That just seems too wide a gap. There has to be a limit, right?! I guess when the age category feels really creepy, that's too young! It is flattering though, I must admit! We all have to stay true to ourselves and our personal values. Hard to do sometimes. Have a good day all. |
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[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6IIkpmw8Ow&feature=related"]We Got Tonight - Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers live 1985 - YouTube[/nomedia]
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we got tonight???? :)heyyy DMW Sir... hello and welcome to the loft..... |
Morning..loft dwellers nd peekers
. late last nite had a visit from a sort of sparkly Mr Leonard... lol ... Also had a dream I wad at a hospital.. and a doc was telling me minister was doing better and i could hear her talking..but they had to do some test... everyone I was walking towards hr room , had to go around things that got only way and thru another room , I could hear her, then there was someone sleeping on the couch, thn my brother was sitting there and we had to go to my mom,s ... I wanted to call my mom , and tell Kath was ok and coming home soon .. but never could get hold of My mom....thn woke up.. sigh. I miss my sister... :( Anyways. Have a great day ... everyone |
Mornin.
The we've got tonight song is just pipe dreams...in reference to some of the earlier posts. Sometimes it is easier said than done. Morningstar, I am sorry that you are missing your sister. That is what i would call a nightmare...not a dream. I find when i miss someone...nothing and nobody else can really make it better or take that entities place in my heart.(that is good because each person is their own entity. People and pets can't really be replaced. I think it has to do with acceptance and respect.) So, i go into that...gratitude mode and tell myself that i was lucky to have them in my life at all. And then, i think of the good things about them and how they would want my reflection on them to be good and happy because they want me happy. I don't know where your sister is but, i am sure she is giving you some spirit hugs. I am sorry you are hurting. |
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my 1 and only sis passed ....... next month will b 4 yrs. Time flys ....... and its that time for me to fly. Headng down to Tm. later gators |
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I have been thinking a lot about a couple of posts here recently. It brought back an event in my life that I had forgotten. It was quite painful at the time and as I look back, I did grow and learn more about myself.
Someone mentioned about being wired, I totally agree. I found that I am not wired that way, poly. I am OFOS and I have to be true to MY own truths. I am not responsible for how anyone else moves and chooses to move in the world. Years ago I was in a relationship with a Femme ( no one from this site) and we were living together for about 2 years. Now, I can only relate my story how it affected me, I am sure she sees it totally different and that is probably different to how it really happened. One day she came home and we broke up, just like that it was over. I was devastated. There was someone else that had caught her eye and she wanted to go explore something intriguing with that new person. In order to keep from totally losing her, I offered her a poly/ mono option. The only rule was that she had to come home every night. Fortunately for me, she decided she could not abide by that rule, she wanted total freedom and I could not compromise that one. This event taught me a very big lesson, I cannot change my inner me, how I am wired. Had she accepted my offer, I truly believe part of me would have died and I would no longer be me. So, I am an OFOS Butch and I will not change/ I cannot change, even if it would make things easier. I will be true to my wiring. Be true to yourselves, always, to however you are wired. Jo |
Morning loft dwellers and geezers
(((((((( OSButch ))))))))))))) |
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Waking up. From having to camp out at a plastic company in the boonies.....and no coffee (
now hows can I eat my left over cold pizza for breakfast with no coffee??? :( |
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What?! You don't have a coffee pot in your truck?! You definitely gonna get one! Have a great day and Be safe out there:) |
No sir I dont ..... and even if I did , the inverter is not installed yet ... sigh ..... im doomd
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Ok . Im still in Paris . . Tn, lol
Anyway a story about a dream I had this morning.... I was looking for a bathroom, couldn't find one.... I came to a room open,d the door , not a bathroom, but wow had to go so bad, so I went in .. found a plastic bag with looked like trash inside... well fine tried going in that, but Roberta ( the maid on 2 n half men kept opening the door and id shut it.... like 3 times I think... well thn she and another person came in and was looking for that bag, cuz it had pictures in it..... they noticed it and started to go thru it and wondering y it was wet, then I woke up........ And really had to go .... lol... one y do I have crazy dreams? |
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I've had four relationships - one was with my daughter's dad - met him when I was 15 and he was 21, we married when I turned 18 and we were together six years, my second partner was with a handsome butch and we were together for 22 years, third was a person who identified as trans and perferred female pronouns - would not transition because of the fear of being gay five years -they passed away and
my last partner had just started his physical transition when we first met. I said to him, I'm not sure I can do this, but I care enough about you to try, and we were together almost 9 years. Now, I'm single - and have been for a while - and I'm wanting to date So, how DO you date? I mean JUST date? How do you date more than one person? I've meet some amazing people on Butch femme Planet -I imagine going and meeting them, enjoying their company, finding out all about them - and I know right now, for the first time in my life, I'm not ready for a steady relationship. What does "just dating" looks like - I'd really like to know - at what point does it go from just hanging out to dating? And can you date more than one person at a time - and do butches or femmes have a harder time with this concept? or does it just depend on the person - |
I haven't posted in here in quite some time, but like others, a few posts caught my eye.
I once thought in my younger years that I could rewire myself to date more than one woman, so I tried and dated two. I failed miserably at it and wouldn't want to try again. I think those that can do it, good for them. I'm at an age where I would just like to settle down and live happily ever after. After letting myself heal and cleaning out cobwebs these last few years, I almost deem myself relationship ready. The only thing holding me back at this point is finances and my rescues. Someone would have to be able to accept the fact that if I never find forever homes for some of these rescues, they'll stay with me. Also, it bothers me that since I left Chicago over 6 years ago, I can't seem to find FT work and struggle. I never want someone else to pay my way. Work defines a big part of who I am. Being a Sag, I spent my life restless, but as I get older, I realize I just want to make one last move and settle in there. Anyhow, I often wonder if once you've found that BIG love in your life and screwed it up, will I be able to love like that again. Keep in mind, for me, there is a difference between being in love and loving someone enough to live comfy with them. I do know I am taking my time getting to know whomever enters my life this next time around and have no idea if I'd even want to live in the same house as another or better off living alone and each having our own space when needed. So much to think about, but I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Anyone else have thoughts on dating and/or relationships as we get older and more comfy living alone, but miss the company of a partner? |
A butch friend of mine experienced a major change in her attitude toward many things in her life following the death of her partner two years ago. One change is she was always a top, and now she is taking great pleasure in giving AND receiving. The other is, prior to and including her relationship with her late partner, she would have descibed herself as a "u-haul lesbian." She moved quickly into relationships and suffered greatly both financially and emotionally when they ended, no matter who called it quits. She also is one who is "wired" for monogamy, but is experiencing it this time in a different way. Her partner lives far enough away (2 1/2 hours) that it is not practical to see her every day, but they spend most week ends together and talk and email frequerntly throughout the day. She is taking things slowly for the first time in her life, and she is both glad of this change in herself, and stressed by the fact that she and her new ladyfriend are not able to spend more time together. What is surprising to me about the whole thing is MY reaction to it.
I was married for 25 years to my deceased darling. I am very monogamous, though like some of you I have some regrets about that proclivity in myself. LOL. Since hubbies death I had one relationship that ended a few months ago. Following the u-haul pattern, we moved in together much too quickly. Anyway, I find my friend's relationship to be an interesting and wonderful way of relating. It is surprising to me because I tend to bond quickly with a partner... (I'm a scorpio - does that explain it?) and to long to be with them when they are away from me. Perhaps the busy-ness of my life, plus the certainty of the week-end time together alleviates that somewhat. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Seems like many of us are LOOKING at things in a new way at least. Hope Hurricane Isaac does not bring bad events in to any of your lives; we seem to have dodged the bullet here in Florida. But now that the storm is heading toward Louisiana, everyone I talk to says they wish it had worn itself out here in Florida where it was only a tropical storm, rather than go and ransack those people who still suffer so much as a result of Catalina seven years ago. Smooches, Keri |
A butch friend of mine experienced a major change in her attitude toward many things in her life following the death of her partner two years ago. One change is she was always a top, and now she is taking great pleasure in giving AND receiving. The other is, prior to an including her relationship with her late partner, she would have descibed herself as a "u-haul lesbian."She moved quickly into relationships and suffered greatly both financially and emotionally when they ended, no matter who called it quits. She also is on who is "wired" for monogamy, but is experiencing this time in a different way. Her partner lives far enough away (2 1/2 hours) that it is not practical to see her every day, but they spend most week ends together and talk and email frequerntly throughout the day. She is taking things slowly for the first time in her life, and she is both glad of this change in herself, and stressed by the fact that she and her new ladyfriend are not able to spend more time together. What is surprising to me about the whole thing is MY reaction to it.
I was married for 25 years to my deceased darling. I am very monogamous, though like some of you I have some regrets about that proclivity in myself. LOL. Since hubbies death I had one relationship that ended a few months ago. Following the u-haul pattern, we moved in together much too quickly. Anyway, I find my friends relationship to be an interesting and wonderful way of relating, and it is surprising to me because I tend to bond quickly with a partner... (I'm a scorpio - does that explain it?) and to long to be with them when they are away from me. Perhaps the busy-ness of my life, plus the certainty of the week-end time together alleviates that somewhat. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Seems like many of us are LOOKING at things in a new way at least. Hope Hurricane Isaac goes not bring bad events in to any of your lives; we seem to have dodged the bullet here in Florida. But now that the storm is heading toward Louisiana, everyone I talk to says they wish it had worn itself out here in Florida where it was only a tropical storm, rather than go and ransack those people who still suffer so much as a result of Catalina seven years ago. Smooches, Keri |
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