Last night my husband‘s sister passed away. He got the phone call this morning. Time, his mother passed away. My heart hurts for him….

On Your Mind.
 

Dealing with passive aggressive people becomes boring and irritating.

Dim sum is on my mind. I had some earlier today:

- radish cake;
- shrimp wrapped in little crispy strips of spring roll wrapper with a sweet and hot sauce;
- BBQ pork in a bun;
- shrimp and pork dumplings;
- sticky rice (my prizes were a shitake mushroom, a dollop of salted egg yolk and a piece of red Chinese sausage);
- and of course, a pot of Oolong tea.

My dining companion ordered off the regular menu and had a beer. I tried to interest him in the wrapped shrimp and a BBQ pork bun, but he wasn't having it. He was accommodating my desire to go to dim sum, though, so I didn't complain.

It's still on my mind because we had fun and it was delicious. Also, I brought home plenty for a late night snack!

I was just reading over some old posts, and this one made me realize how much I not only miss Dixon, but how much I miss having a butch around to help me with household things. I can do some of them myself, and when I was younger I could do a lot more. But Dixon always took on some of the workload, without complaint, without asking if it needed to be done, without pointing out every single little thing he had accomplished because he wanted praise and gratitude. He just did those things. He was an awesome person and partner. Now every little thing in my house that breaks is a reminder of the person I lost and how much I needed him. I miss him so much.

(Don't even mention the boy. He's not mechanically savvy, and he has to be cajoled into doing anything butch-like. He has to be nagged, and when he does anything at all, even the smallest chore, he thinks he deserves to be praised for it. Don't get me wrong, he has his good points and he helps me a lot. I love him. But he's no substitute for Dixon.)

May I ask, what kind did you buy? and are you pleased with it? I have to buy a new one soon.

What a coincidence - my sister just gave me all of my mom's scrapbooks. We didn't even know she was a scrapbooker. It's all from her younger days, before I was born. I want to go through them thoughtfully, giving them the attention they deserve, but I just haven't been able to open one yet. I still miss her too much . . .

Whats on Your Mind
 

I had given most of my moms stuff to my nieces when she passed but I did find a few pics and letters she had written to me. I also found a letter postcard from my grandmother to her sister. I can see you two also miss your mothers. My mother breathed in and I breathed out, far too close as mom and daughter and also friends and confidents. Every day she is in my mind and missing her can hardly say how I feel.

I heart October ❣️
 

Removing Books From Libraries...
 

Removing Books From Libraries Often Takes Debate. But There’s a Quieter Way.

By Elizabeth Harris, New York Times

Weeding, or culling old, damaged or outdated books, is standard practice in libraries. But in some cases it is being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express.

https://i.postimg.cc/43FCSVLW/03-BOO...vtqz-jumbo.jpg
Two lawsuits have recently taken up weeding. The practice allows librarians to keep collections current, but some have argued that it has been used in some instances to remove books for their content.Credit...Nam Y. Huh/Associated Press

Thousands of books have been removed from schools and libraries over the past several years, often accompanied by stormy public meetings and acrimonious debate. But there is a quieter way books have been pulled from libraries — a process called weeding.

The practice is standard for librarians, a regular part of keeping their collections current. Traditionally, weeding involves removing books that are damaged, out of date or haven’t been checked out in a long time. This makes room for new editions and titles that are of more interest to the community.

Now, three years into surge in challenges and removals of books from libraries, weeding is sometimes being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express or the story they tell. The issue is now working its way through the court system.

Advocates say that, increasingly, administrators and library board officials are using this approach to avoid the public spectacle of formally pulling them because of their content.

“When you remove a book because you believe it’s critical race theory, or portrays L.G.B.T.Q. lives or because you believe it’s too vulgar,” said Deborah Caldwell-Stone, Director of the American Library Association’s Office for Intellectual Freedom, “that’s not weeding. That’s censorship.”

In recent years, the number of books that have been restricted or removed has surged around the country, fed in part by conservative organizations, lists of books that circulated on social media and state laws that have decided what kinds of books are appropriate for children.

Those in favor of restricting access to certain titles say they are trying to protect children from encountering difficult, inappropriate or sensitive topics while they are alone in the library, or at school without guidance from their parents. Those who oppose these restrictions say libraries should represent a wide range of viewpoints.

Usually, removing a book from a school or library because of its content requires a process. That can include extensive public notice and input as well as board meetings, which can get volatile and heated.

Weeding, on the other hand, is part of the day-to-day work of maintaining a collection. Librarians do this largely on their own, though most libraries have weeding policies and criteria to help guide the choices.

One common standard is called “MUSTIE,” which stands for Misleading, Ugly (damaged or worn out), Superseded (by a newer edition), Trivial, Irrelevant (to the community) and Elsewhere (meaning the material could easily be found someplace else).

The work is essential to keep collections in good shape. Caldwell-Stone of the library association said that librarians never know what they’re going to find when they go into a library’s book return drop box — and generally, they try to sort through it while wearing gloves. She was once told that a book was returned with a strip of bacon pressed between the pages as a book mark. That book, for example, had to go.

Two lawsuits have recently taken up the practice, and how it is being used.

According to a suit filed in federal court this year, officials in Nassau County, Florida removed or restricted access to 36 books in its public school library after members of an organization called Citizens Defending Freedom said they were inappropriate for children. County officials said they removed most of the books because they violated a state obscenity law.

Three of those books did not go through the usual process, according to Lauren Zimmerman, a partner at Selendy Gay, and one of the lawyers who filed the case. Instead, they were weeded. Among them was a picture book called “And Tango Makes Three,” about a penguin family with two penguin dads.

The district said it weeded its only copy of “Tango” because of a “lack of circulation,” the lawsuit said. But according to court documents, it had been checked out at least five times in the previous five years, while thousands of other books in the district’s public libraries that had not been checked out at all during that period were not removed.

The other weeded books were “Ghost Boys,” about racism in the United States, and “Almost Perfect,” a coming-of-age story about a high school romance involving a transgender student, according to the court documents.

The Nassau County case settled last month and all three books will go back on the shelves, along with 21 others. The remaining 12 books will be available for checkout to students who are at least 18 years old, or who have permission from their parents. A lawyer representing Nassau County did not respond to requests for comment.

“It took generations of work by countless individuals for books like ‘Tango’ to make it onto shelves of libraries,” said Justin Richardson, one of the authors of “And Tango makes Three,” who was a plaintiff in the lawsuit. “We’re simply not going to sit by and let them take them off.”

Another instance where weeding has landed in court is a case that began in Llano County, Tex. and is now in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. According to court documents, public library officials removed 17 books, including “Caste,” by Isabel Wilkerson, which is about race in the United States, and “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health,” by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley, which has illustrations of sex and masturbation.

County officials said those books were weeded. Lawyers for Llano County have asked the court to reverse a 29-year-old precedent on the issue. They’ve argued that while none of these books were removed because of their content or viewpoint, library officials have the right to do so. Removing books is not a violation of patrons’ rights, the lawyers argued, because the government is not obligated to supply books in the first place. The government is not allowed to stop you from accessing books, but it doesn’t have to help.

This summer, a three-judge panel ruled, in a split decision, that books could not be removed based on their viewpoint. But a few weeks later, the Fifth Circuit made an unusual choice: It would rehear the case, this time in front of the full court. Oral arguments took place last month, and a decision is expected in several months.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/08/b...y-weeding.html