Davenport (couch)

You can't get blood from a turnip.

Which leads into....

I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.

I heard 'beat my mug' more.

:)

....til the cows come home.

Nice one!!!

Time to Red the table

(means clear off the table after supper,people in my fam still say it.....)

I don't know how "old-fashioned" this is but it is disturbingly hilarious!

This 1 isn't really old fashion but it made me laugh out loud when I thought of it.
" I'm rubber you're glue, anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you." ;-)

My grandmother called the sofa a davenport. We would mock her and call it a diving board and take off running and dive onto it. When she wasn't watching of course. Which reminds me, don't ever dive face first onto a sofa with those clear plastic covers on them. Always hit shirt or socks first. When you hit face (skin)first you tend to stop way faster than you were expecting to. Don't ask me how I know.;-)

I forgot what I was going to say; must've been a lie.

It's colder than a well diggers ass crack, out here.

"mickey mouse around"

"Up yonder"

"Out on the back 40"
(Riding the property line)

"Keeping company"
(Courting)

"Oh, my stars!"

Or...

"Goodness, Gracious"

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere. (My grandma felt the more colorful a saying, the better.)

Birdgit! (My grandma's most succinct saying.)

Icebox

Peddle-pushers

Smitten

Rouge

Pancake Makeup

Dungarees

galoshes

"... please, allow me. If you don't mind, I really would prefer not to go "dutch" ..."

My father's favorite sayings -

Jesus H. Christ – (As a kid i assumed H was Christ's middle initial and I asked my father what his middle name was and he said Hallowed. I remember thinking that was an odd name.)

Bob's your uncle

i don't give a flying fuck

why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut

(Apparently, "flying fuck" is a very old expression dating back to about 1800. It originally appeared in a "broadside ballad" called "New Feats of Horsemanship" describing a sex act done on horseback.)

It's like pissin into the ocean to bring in the tide

pissin in the wind

I gotta piss like a race horse

any flies on you they're paying rent

bang a left, bang a right, bang a U-ie- (He was always saying to bang something)

And don't forget to use your directionals.


My mother's favs-

talk a glass eye to sleep - ( I couldn't grasp this as a 5 year old and I would hear “talk a glass Ida asleep” I had an Aunt Ida and I puzzled over the meaning of a glass Ida.)

Why, do you see a crowd around? - (My mother would always say this when I asked what was the matter or what's wrong.)

if you had a half a brain it would be lonely

if you had a half a brain you'd be dangerous

When she'd say this to me, I remember thinking that's stupid, if I had a half a brain I wouldn't be lonely or dangerous, best case scenario I'd be dead.

you smell like a french whore - (My mother would say this when she thought you were wearing too much cologne but to this day she denies saying this to her kids.)

you got a hair across your ass

you chicken shit

bird brain

ah, light dawns on marblehead - (used when someone dense finally gets it, this is pretty much exclusive to parts of Massachusetts, the Boston area, around Marblehead and it has something to do with it being the eastern most point of MA where the sun rises first. My mother loved the saying.)

two peas in a pod

something rotten in denmark

As a kid, I would say between 5 and 8, I took things quite literally. Here's a couple of typical conversation between me and my mother. Or so my mother likes to tell me to illustrate all she had to go through with me.

My mother, glaring at me and my dad, -“the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.”
Me -”How could it, unless the tree was on the top of a high mountain and the fruit rolled all the way down to the bottom or into a valley or something.”

My mother, tired of me and my questions - “Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier dear?” (my mother loves to rhyme)
Me - “I would fall in the water if I did that.”
My mother - “No flies on you.”
Me - “Because I was in the water?”
My mother - “No, because you stated the obvious. I was being sarcastic.”
Me - “So if someone tells you something that doesn't make any sense you shouldn't mention it because it's obvious?”
My mother - “It's a nice day go outside for awhile.”
Me - “It's raining.”
My mother - “Take an umbrella.”
Me - 'Not to state the obvious but you want me in water today.”

Groovy man
Far out
bitchen

I love the word dungarees. Bonus points for that one. :)

lol, how about when they called galoshes "rubbers?" I know I'm being a total juvenile, but I always have to laugh when I hear someone call them that.

I don't think this qualifies as an old-fashioned expression but I love it when people use the phrase "going postal." it cracks me the hell up and I actively try to work it into conversation as often as possible, lol.

Related. Now that would be wicked pissah. :gimmehug:

How about zit zat case closed?

Or a cock and bull story?

Does a bear shit in the woods?
Is the pope catholic?

I wonder if phrases have like an expiration date that makes them old fashioned. Some of the ones I've mentioned my parents said and I still say. I wonder when they become old fashioned?

Like maybe poppycock is old fashioned? Although it's a word my mouth enjoys saying.

Shit Fire and Save The Matches- my gram used to say that all the time

My cousins would say this if you stood in front of the tv...........

""You're not made of glass" "Your daddy wasn't a glass blower" ..so move your ass outta the way of the tv"

old fashioned sayings...
 

my mother always said ( to indicate her bill paying struggles ) -
"you can't take money from a naked man's pocket "

lol ahuh :sunglass:

Grandma said, " you cannot get blood from a turnip" and "for cryin' in the bucket"

I love poppycock and it's food now too, so it's obviously exempt from any old-fashioned deletion scheme.

With the exception of the zit zat one, yes. I am very familiar with the rest.

:blink:

I used to get 'you make a better door than a window'.

Never heard that one.

To indicate her bill paying struggles my mother always said you can't get blood from a stone but I like your mother's better.

Piss on you! You look better wet.

[QUOTE=Gemme;979967]I love poppycock and it's food now too

Poppycock is a food!! I guess it hasn't made it to Montreal yet. The market has to be such as to make it worth the price of repackaging in both French and English for distribution in Canada. Or maybe I just haven't seen it. I must confess food shopping, truthfully shopping in general, isn't my favorite way to spend my time so it's not beyond the realm of possibility that I just missed it.

[quote=Miss Tick;979973]Are ya'll talking about this poppycock?
http://www.bridgesdesign.net/bridges..._Poppycock.jpg

I'm not sure if it can be considered "food" in the nutritional sense. :cheesy: I love it, anyway.

oh that does look delicious. I don't think we have them in Montreal though. Next time we go over the border I want all the kinds except the chocolate lovers. I dislike chocolate except as an actual piece of chocolate. Then i'm all over that. And that's no poppycock.

Don't we all.

:eyebrow:

Yes! That's what I was referring to.

It looks, smells and tastes a whole lot better than bullshit, doesn't it? I'm glad the meaning has shifted a bit.

:cheesy:

"You're so full of shit, your eyes are brown."

"It's hotter than blue blazes."

"It's hotter than two rats screwing in a wool sock."

"Whew, she looks rode hard and put up wet!"