I practice energy tapping, and it helps me.

http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9781572245556-0

carnal nation -
 

" . . . I once watched a fairy-like child walking through the park on her tiptoes. She was probably nine or 10. She knew exactly what was supposed to happen at various times of the day but didn’t know the word for grass. Such fey unworldliness might indeed seem magical to some and threatening to others. . . "



http://carnalnation.com/content/5571...s-syndrome-sex

This young man brought tears to my eyes - all three times I watched this. His performance was just brilliant.

Thank you for posting this. I hope a lot of people will read it.

It is frustrating police or no when behavior you have no control over is seen as being rude or mean or devious.

How many times I have to say the words "there is no hidden agenda".

I berate myself and appologize an incredible amount. My friends say it is annoying and I need to stop it. I am not even sure how. Especially today.

I am not understanding anything. I am spinning. My schedule is all weird I guess, C is at her Grandmother's and my dog of 15 years died a couple of weeks ago and the house feels so different.

Sorry and thank you!

xoxoxoxo

Belle and Sue -

Thank you both for posting these stories. I think that awareness training for our emergency responders and our law enforcement agencies is needed more than ever and I am encouraged at the number of agencies taking steps to do so.

There has recently been a new awareness site launched.

http://awaare.org/

There are forms that you can print out and complete and take to your local law enforcement/emergency response agencies to make them aware of family members and their challenges. I have them on my desk to complete and take to our local sheriff's office and to drop off at the volunteer fire dept down the street. Even as functional as Bratboy is, I worry about how he might react during an emergency situation and this might be a way to prevent something unfortunate.

Thank you for your kind words about Mac, She was 15 and everyone loved her. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I laid next to her and held her the entire time. (w)

I think the police as are afraid every moment they are at work, so many of them are killed in the line of duty, that they are taught to look for signs and to see anger or not answering as a threat. Hopefully as more people are open about AS and Autism, there will be more training and understanding for them. Also parents like Christie who fill out paperwork and take it to emergency responder personnel help too.

I apologize because conflict freaks me out and when I was a kid, no one knew about AS, so it was always deemed my fault if I did not react appropriately as the daughter of Southern Baptist Missionaries. I was in the spotlight 24/7 which makes me very jumpy. When I get that feeling, I apologize and apologize and don't trust that I am actually right. I berate and berate myself. Maybe because it seems familiar? I am in therapy and we are working on this.

xoxoxoxxoxo :bunchflowers:

Thank you for reading and for your kindness!

I hope everyone has a great day! :bunchflowers:

thank you, jen.

this sentence has nothing to do with SB's in general- or is against your family.

there were a few SB's in my family growing up, and i clashed with them big time because i questioned 'hypocrisy' whenever i saw it. without apologies.

hang in-

ox

:bunchflowers:

I experienced total hypocrisy and thought something was wrong with me that I could not act how they wanted me to, be what they wanted me to be. I even look stressed in my baby pictures.

I questioned constantly from age 3 on and was abused because of it and because my adopted father was crazy....but that's another discussion.

No one knew about AS, even if kids wrote with left hand they were abused back then. Teachers were usually mean, and kids allowed to bully. Plus I was in another country back and forth. A coping mechanism I learned was to apologize whether or not I think I am wrong. I do it when I think I have offended, whether or not what I said was in my opinion offensive. Make sense?

I am really working on the apologizing thing.

xoxoxx :bunchflowers:

yes, jen. you make perfect sense.

anyone who knowingly causes people to doubt their own 'perceptions' is doing a lot of harm to the child/person, and i would imagine themself. (w)

i'm glad you're talking to someone :bunchflowers:

updated blog on AS/adults
 

Thank you, for introducing me to this blog, violaine, while reading her work, I came across this statement, which really hit home.

Having Aspergers is that living paradox of understanding so much, being blessed with amazing intellectual and thinking capacity – a very quick mind – and yet, that not mattering, socially at all.

Liam -

Thank you for these words. I was reading the blog for a moment earlier (playing catchup at work - moments are few) and thought that it was an amazing site. I cant wait to have the time to dig into it.

One things I was thinking about today is how I once heard a description of being an aspie as being a freshwater fish trying to live in a saltwater world. I think that is one of the reasons I have tried so hard to assist Bratboy in finding ways to accomodate the NT world we live in - because it becomes so apparent that there is little progress in that world accomodating him.

Thank you for posting that link Violaine! What a great blog.

Many of the people I work with are artists and musicians and my partner is/has ? AS too, so sometimes I forget how difficult it can be out on the world until it slaps me in the face.

I especially like the post asking if we have empathy, as we discussed the other night I think we really do, but people might not see that from how we seem outwardly. I have always been mystified by what seems to be a huge disconnect between what I am actually thinking and what some people perceive or decide that I am thinking and communicating.

Also, the focus on change. The people who expect us to change and how much time we spend on it. And who are we trying to change for?

Lot's to read and process...will be back after I have read more.

The same thing my teachers said when I was little...if she would apply herself...try harder...change...listen...change...getting the right answer is not good enough...she must show her work...even if the answer pops in her head...stop her from counting with her fingers...she needs to make decisions faster...she is in her own little world and cares for no one but herself...she reads too much...she needs to stop drawing during class...it won't help her future to memorize all those train stations and maps...

Love the blog!

I just watched Adam, a movie about a fellow aspergian. Has anyone else seen it? What did you think of it?

[QUOTE=apocalipstic;162503]The same thing my teachers said when I was little...if she would apply herself...try harder...change...listen...change...getting the right answer is not good enough...she must show her work...even if the answer pops in her head...stop her from counting with her fingers...she needs to make decisions faster...she is in her own little world and cares for no one but herself...she reads too much...she needs to stop drawing during class...it won't help her future to memorize all those train stations and maps...

Love the blog!

did you ever try to explain to the teachers that you were listening, thinking, feeling, following, understanding . . . only to be met with something ELSE [negatively stated] about your tone of voice ? ? ? being called 'argumentative' in responding to how they so wrongly perceived you?

I got that - well, I got branded "lazy". "Apply herself" was something that I heard a lot, as well as "daydreaming" - oh yes, and the "stop drawing during class" - I once got into big trouble for drawing on an exam once I'd answered all the questions that I could. But nobody had heard of Asperger's back then. I wonder if it would have been easier if they had? I guess so...

I saw it - awhile ago. I think I enjoyed it, could see myself in some of it (not all). I think some of it was a bit over-simplified but that could have been for the benefit of the masses who might not know a lot about people on the autistic spectrum... but overall, I think it was a pretty good movie. My favourite is Snow Cake, even though the character Sigourney Weaver played was more autistic than asperger's. I think her daughter was probably aspie.

I wish I could have tried, though it sounds like it would not have helped anyway - I would have been misinterpreted just like you described, Belle. I usually would just cry and be completely unable to advocate for myself or explain anything at all.

It's very frustrating to be so emotionally fragile!

Isn't it frustrating?

In a similar vein, I had a psychiatrist, who incorrectly diagnosed me as bipolar, tell me that I couldn't have asperger's because I was nothing like Mr Bean.

I can kinda lol about it now...

I have not seen it, will place on my Netflix list :) Thank you!

[quote=violaine;162763]Yes, but I got that at home more. I was always in trouble for "talking back" which ot me was trying to explain in a logical and clear way what I meant. But it never flew.

I still am a daydreamer! :)

And yes, it is still very frustrating. I soemtimes think all my nerve endings are on the surface.

UGH. Yes yes. I have ben told that I don't look like I have anything wrong, so I don't.

Mr. Bean? Nice.

ursy wrote on emotional fragility - yes! i wear it on my sleeve, but as an adult, people have called it 'immature/unacceptable' behaviour, and might really take advantage of one who is super sensitive. there are so many ways too!.

I am trying to remove the people who stress me out or refuse to LISTEN to me one by one from my life.

i have not seen 'adam', but i really did like snow cake, urs!

the character opposite sigourney weaver in this film was awesome because he did not personalise 'her needs' - or trample all over what boundaries [the kitchen!] she needed to set in place in order to cope /just go on to the next step each day for her.

i loved that.

Another thread was started regarding the Children's Hospital in Boston and reading through it I was lead to this article. I pray more Governors/ politicians will follow this lead!

http://childrenshospitalblog.org/aut...rate-new-bill/

This is GREAT news! I wish that the awareness/treatments of today were in place when Bratboy was diagnosed - it would have made the journey less arduous.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-10933276

10 August 2010 Last updated at 17:29 ET

A new brain scan which can detect autism with more than 90% accuracy has been developed by scientists from Kings College London.

The researchers say the scan should make diagnosis of the condition quicker and more straightforward, but some experts warn that more testing will be needed before the technique is rolled out to the public.

Jane Hughes reports.

friend of a friend :)
 

http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com/82464.html


:moonstars:

I saw Adam a couple of weeks ago. I was curious so I rented it.
I enjoyed it. http://www.foxsearchlight.com/adam/

I have been meaning to post since Belle shared the link a while back of the blog - thanks, Belle! It came at a time when I really needed to read it!

As for Bratboy and his transition to VA and beginning his senior year at PCHS, we couldn't be more proud as to his progress. It was a lil touch and go at the beginning of the school year as he was moving from a very small, specialized school environment with less than 100 kids total in the school (K-12) and only about 6 in his grade level to a fully mainstreamed high school with over 1000 kids total and about 200 in his grade level. To say that he was a little overwhelmed is an understatement!

Riding the bus was a huge issue and just added to his stress level. Jess has been taxi driver extraordinaire and making the bus issue "one less thing" helped Bratboy navigate this huge change.

We couldn't ask for more support than from the staff at the high school. They go over and beyond to keep us informed, sometimes even on a daily basis. If there is a question or issue, you best bet that my crackberry will be dinging away with an email. We have really appreciated their quick response.

We had an IEP meeting yesterday to transfer his current IEP from TN to VA. The reports from all of his teachers - well, I couldn't have asked for better! It was also the last day of the first grading period and he has one 100, two B's and one C.

The 100 is in "resource" which is basically a study hall for him - a smaller class where he has the opportunity to have more individualized instruction if needed and a place to finish any classwork/homework assignments. The other classes are mainstream and he has very little accommodation/allowances. Even though he is dysgraphic and has traditionally been unable to handwrite at a rate to keep up, he has chosen to not utilize his laptop as covered by the IEP but to handwrite (in most instances) just like everyone else!

He is socializing with his peer group as opposed to kids who aren't his social equals - he has typically gravitated towards more differently abled kids or adults - never that equal population. One of his teachers is also the senior courtyard monitor and was telling us how he is usually one of the first out at lunch and she sees all the other kids gravitate towards him as they arrive. Rather than being, literally, on the outside of the group, he is right up in the middle of it!

While this might seem like a very small thing to most folks, its a huge thing for him and for us - its like he has reached the finish line of a race I have never been certain he would complete.

Wal-Mart is like the mall of our lil town. We can't go without him running into 6-7 kids that he knows. Last night, he went to the county fair and was telling us how he kept bouncing from group to group and it just made my heart swell to hear how he is finding community here.

One of the biggest issues I had with him in Nashville is that after school, he would go to his room and literally stay there, online (either XBox Live or some virtual reality site) until bedtime. Trying to get him to have an interest outside of virtual was like trying to move a mountain.

Now, I can't tell you all how many times watching him seeking us out, being engaged in life, has brought tears to my eyes. With my work demands, I am away from home about three-four days a week and he and Jess have really bonded and formed a relationship that has far exceeded my expectations. I love that they have this connection that is completely independent of me.

Jess has stepped into parenthood in a big way! Its never easy to be a step parent, in the best of circumstances, and I am so proud and grateful that Jess, without hesitation, has committed to that role.

I wish I could say that some of the hygiene/chore responsibility issues have magically disappeared. They haven't. But I will say that I am pleased with the progress already made and I am still hopeful that one day we will hit upon the magical button and these things will no longer be an issue. There is even a part of me that is ok with having these issues as I think they are pretty age appropriate and not related to his challenges.

He just had his 17th birthday last week. My baby is all grown up! I'm having Mommy issues!

All in all, life's pretty damned good. For the young man who was told just in May that he could not succeed in a mainstream highschool, I think he has already proven that to be just wrong. For the young man who basically came out of his room to forage for food, there are times when I wish he would go to his room to give us some alone time!

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. If I don't say it often enough, I appreciate your being here and sharing yourselves. Its often given me hope for him when I have had doubts and concerns as to life for my Aspie as an adult.

Big, mad gay love for you all,
Christie

Wow Christie, that's wonderful stuff :)

I just love it when our kids surpass our wildest dreams for them. My Bek does that to me often - it's so heartening.

I just came in to post a request for you all, since we are all pretty blessed in our own ways... sometimes it's good to pay it forward.

My friend Tithen needs help in getting his voice (Dynavox Vmax) and an electric wheelchair. He is on the autistic spectrum, just like many of us. I would appreciate it greatly if you visited the link and watched Tithen's Vmax trial video so you can see just how important it is that he get this as soon as possible. Any donation, no matter how small, helps. Every little bit adds up.

http://www.angelfire.com/me5/lilking/Fundraising.html

And if you can't donate, that's ok - maybe you could spread the word? Every little bit helps. Tithen deserves his voice and his legs - please help him to get them!

Rain Man was on television tonight, and I watched it with mixed feelings. I guess it was groundbreaking in its day, but what struck me more was how stereotypical it was... and something didn't ring true with Dustin Hoffman's portrayal for me (but nevertheless, I think he made a valiant effort). I was thinking how even today, it's referenced quite frequently when the topic of autism comes up... but watching it tonight I can tell you that that's not all there is to autism.

It was very interesting, nonetheless.

*ponders some more*

I just came up with an analogy!

Being on the autistic spectrum is kind of like having a photographic memory, but you have no control over when the shutter goes off!

Or is that just me? Lol. I remember the most random things with amazing precision... it's rarely useful.

Autistic Spectrum
 

______________
That is one of many autistic traits. It's a spectrum. People with aspergers syndrome do tend to frequently have a superior ability to commit to memory, particularly amongst those topics of interest to themselves. And there are other people with aspergers who can't find their own belly button in a pinch.

Aspergers and "In Your Face"
 

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. I come from a family on the spectrum and suspect that I share some aspie charactertistics, most subtle.

What I have recently come to realize about myself is that I sometimes, even randomly, feel the almost desperate need to step away physically. I feel very uncomfortable when people are directly in my face addressing me. My daughter brought this up and I hadn't been consciously aware until now. Outside of very personal intimacy, I really don't like people's heads in my face or literally breathing down my neck. Friendly hugs are wonderful, but come with a time limit. Sometimes I just need to walk out in the midst of commotion and be alone for 10 minutes.

Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

Ohhhh yes, I have huge personal space and especially creep out when someone stands behind me.

In fact, I keep rearranging my office trying to keep people from coming behind my desk. It makes me so tense I could shatter.

When I visit large cities like London or NYC I have to really focus on not freaking out...people get way closer than I am comfortable with. I look for openings in the crowd and go in and around quickly....but after I am so exhausted I feel like my brain is going to disintegrate. Spining doors are the worst. Why can't people stay in their own little partitions?

I have learned to like to hug, but really quickly unless I feel comfortable with the person.

People with poor personal space management creep me OUT.

And sometimes when people speak to me in parking lots, or buffets or when I am in my own world it freaks me out. I like to be left alone.