So, does that mean you're going to wait until you have a full beard before you stop using the women's restroom?


Dylan

1. Yes. Some doctors will require you see one before they prescribe T

2. Supposedly, you should go yearly. You don't have to have annual mammograms until you're over 40 (unless you have a family history)

3. Try Planned Parenthood. Or you can ask your endo (whomever you use for your T prescription) to recommend someone or to do it.


Dylan

I can understand your rational to the hate crime statment- To be honest the statistic was written in a pamphlet I received at a trans confrence at Rutgers New Brunswick years ago. Frankly U.S. estimates are so are so mess up its hard to believe any of it. But what your saying about gendered areas seems logical. So I withdraw my previous statment.

MTF being a higher number, that didn't come from the US. In actuality it came from the netherlands. The reason the statistic came out of the netherlands is because they are more socially accepting of transgendered individuals (more accepting not totally accepting- so there is a margin of error) The idea being, that there people are more will to say they are transitioning since there isnt such a social stigma. the last estimate I heard was 1 out of 12000 males are MTF and 1 out of 34000 females are FTM... but I did also hear that gap was closing. and these estimates were taken when I was like 8 years old.

As for the actual being easier with women... I really must live on another planet... Ive been mistaken as a guy Long before testosterone also. And yes some times a girl would point out I was in the wrong bathroom, and I would calmly explain that I was actually biologically female. Never did a girl shudder in fear when I entered the bathroom or run screaming from the room. And there was never a reason for a girl to protect herself when I entered the room. Not once has a security guard or cop ever come knocking on my stall trying to remove me. Never was I shouted at or forcibly removed. Either I just ran into the nicest females in the world or everyone else has the worst luck. Now Im not saying I would ever go back to the female bathrooms. Actually to be honset I'm most comfortable in family bathrooms, best way to go in my opinion- but I digress.

Okay I'll admit the fighting off statment was incredibly sexist. But hypotetically speaking biological females have a disadvantage to biological males- why? because biological male have more speed and strength (more muscles) for hunting dating back to our primitive cave man ansestors, while famale were equipted with extra fatty tissue and the ability to give birth. When on hormones, we in essense exchange what nature gave us for the opposite version (as best as possible since not everything changes). Based on simple deduction, I am probably strong then my equal female counterpart. Now, Im not saying I would EVER over power a girl whether I can or cant. And Im not saying there arent exceptions or that girls are powerless- Im positive that some of my girl friends would beat my ass in for even suggesting such a thing. Im saying T alone would give you the upper hand on a girl over a biological guy if trouble were to start. I never had trouble start. This is all hypotetical. and your right men are most often the perps, and MTF are most often the victims... but there are always execption...

lol. Yea I have a lot of fear. Anxiety issue up the wazoo.

but what I really think is, we are argueing over a toilet here. C'mon. a toilet. seriously. If he doesnt do it out of fear, and does it for the pink motif. Who cares. Is he hurting someone? If not then I dont see the issue. If he does it for shock value, to get a rise out of people, for attention then everyone who decided to make a big deal out of this just handed him everything he wanted... No I dont agree with doing things for attention, but I know attention seekers love it when they are the center of the debate...

I'm just saying.

Uh... you mean those the other, right? Otherwise, that means that FTMs (males) outnumber MTFs (Females).


And that really, to me, was the only issue.


But it does present problems for FTMs. One of the challenges is that I'm viewed as having privilege and then wanting to be part of women's only situations (which a bathroom/locker room fit into). (never mind what the Christian Right uses this stuff for). It, to me, smacks of abusing privilege and beyond.

I really need to work on that part. I've tried it a couple of times only end up with my leg wet. I think my biggest concern is the strength of the stream being too forceful and thus overflowing.

While I disagree with a few other things you've said, this is the largest area in which I disagree with you.

Yeah, it's a bathroom.

Can you tell me, do you think it's ok for cismen to use the women's room too? I mean, should any man be able to use the women's room simply because he 'likes the motif'?

When One decides they're a man...they're a man. They don't get to live with one foot on this side, and one foot on that side. It's incredibly sexist and privileged (in my opinion) to say, "I want that, but I don't want that part of that". You don't get to make women feel uncomfortable, because YOU (general...not personal) are afraid of a bathroom. You (again general, not personal) don't get to soak up the privilege of being male, then trample on women-only space. There's things that suck about being male. You don't get to take the good parts and toss out the bad parts. That's incredibly privileged...and in this case sexist.

Scaring women for your own personal benefit is privileged and sexist.

Making women feel uncomfortable for your own person benefit is privileged and sexist.

Expecting women to accommodate and cater to YOUR (general) fears, wants, needs, etc is the HILT of sexist and privileged.

Expecting women to make room for YOU and coddle YOU is...sexist and privileged

If you're a man, you're a man, and you don't get 'special' privileges/access/whatever, simply because you were born in the wrong body.

ESPECIALLY considering the men's room is actually safer (although, definitely not cleaner).

I just can't imagine allowing ANY other man special entrance into the women's room (the exception being small children, or men with disabilities who need help, and that help tends to be *women*).

Perhaps you have gotten lucky, because I know I've had security called on me a number of times. I've even had a security officer crawl under the stall door to open it and remove me (while I was in the middle of doin' mahhh business) from the restroom. I've had women freak out. I've been lead to the men's room more times than I can even count.

To be quite honest, I truly believe those who make the biggest noise about the men's room, haven't even used the men's room. Because men don't even *look* at you in the men's room.

And to use the women's room, because you just want attention is to me just a complete abuse of privilege...especially when coupled with the statistics and fear of women and rape. It's taking advantage, and it's just the HILT of sexism and an abuse of power. As if men are just allowed to go wherever they want and do whatever they want, and women are just supposed to accommodate and 'understand' and then even CODDLE and soothe the fear of men. It's gross and abusive.

If you're a man, you don't take advantage. You don't make women feel uncomfortable, so you can feel 'safer', or 'get attention', or 'be more comfortable'.

I mean, if you want attention, men will definitely give it to you. If you don't feel safe in X space, find another space. If you want to feel comforted and soothed, you don't just *take* that from women or women's space.

I just cannot imagine another man doing any of these things, or using any of these excuses without having his ass handed to him.


Dylan

P.S. All the 'yous' in this post are completely general...I get tired of saying 'One', because sometimes it comes off sounding sarcastic

The medicine spoon.

Most awesome thing ever.


Definitely Takes Practice, But It's Well Worth The Investment,
Dylan

http://www.whenyagottago.com/products/TravelMate.html

I really like this ...much easier to use because the spoon is more custom for our bodies...

i use to get the u-tube on transitional male but nick doesn't seem to be selling just that any more and also is having health issue so isn't do the stud.

I'm hoping to make my own u-tube using the above product but just need to find the medical tubing and the right glues and then the stuff to put it together.

I don't see what the difference is between this and the medicine spoon?

Not trying to be funny, but I don't understand why I would pay nine dollars when I can get the same thing at Target for free?

I mean, I don't see how this would be any easier to use either. It's still going to take a helluva lot of practice to learn to position this thing properly.


Am I Missing Something?,
Dylan...could have easily missed something

P.S. you can get latex tubing at Home Depot or Lowes. If you use that particular spoon (that you linked to), you can just put the tubing over the end...you don't need glue...and run it through your packer. Should take about 3 seconds. (you can use a dab of caulking if you're really concerned)

bathroom
 

no men don't look at each other in the bathroom unless they are cruising.

and i don't have a pack and pee, i just squat over the bowl. Lots of men sit down to pee, and if you go in the mens room and there are no stall doors, so what? just make sure you don't flop your packer on the floor, and you will be fine.

i started going to the mens room long before i started T. it was always easier. I have been chased out of many womens restrooms, but never out of any mens rooms. Men don't give a rats ass.

i know i care a whole lot less about a lot of things, and especially the bathroom. go in, do my biznitch, and roll out, (and i always wash my hands)


:badcook:

well maybe you get different types of medicine spoons in texas? Everything is bigger right? All I know is it is bevelled differently then the baby spoons i've gotten and this cups in better.

You don't have to buy your medicine spoons???? Surprise they hand something out for free that they sell.

What your suggesting doesn't work ...for a variety reasons .... been there done that.

Hmmm, I haven't used it, so I believe you that's it's different. It just looks the same from the picture. But I'm not arguing with you. Like I said, I haven't used it...or even seen one up close.

Target's pharmacy gives out medicine spoons if you ask. I don't think it's just a Texas thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Texas has bigger spoons HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What doesn't work? Because it worked for me. So, I don't know what you're referring to. I mean, if you're talking about the latex from Home Depot and such...it worked for me. But I don't know if that's what you're referring to.

Of course, everybody's different...six of one/half dozen...


Maybe We DO Have Bigger Spoons...For All Those Bigger Babies :),
Dylan

Is your tubing harder and clear? That's what I got at Home Depot .... it works ok but the u-tube i bought through transitional male had a softer non clear tubing. So I'm guessing medical grade tubing isn't as stiff as the tubing I bought at home depot unless i was in the wrong aisle.

What doesn't work is if I stick it just on the end either I have to stick the spoon like object through the packy .... which then makes the packy harder to pack because it's stiff or if I insert the tube everything is way too long and I would have to hold the packy outside my pants to pee. If i let the tube kink up i just run into gravity problems.

I don't know there may be different types of spoons and I can't remember what the spoons were like that I had bought but i know that this was contoured just enough that leakage just isn't the issue i've had with the medicine spoon i tried and the spoon Nick uses on the ftm u-tube. All i know is I haven't used one in ages just went to the bathroom using it and it was super simple. Always have struggled with the other devices to the point I always had to take extra underwear and clothes with me and well then i just stopped using it.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding this or I said it backwards
but if 1 out of 12000 are MTF and 1 out of 34000 are FTM- Then isn't there a 3:1 ratio of MTF:FTM

34000/12000 = 2.8333 rounded to 3 for the sake of the equation

so...
in a group of 34000 people there will be an estimated 3 MTF and 1 FTM.
or did I majorly fuck this up?

lol

Whoa hold on. I'm not saying men, (FTM or not) have the right to do ANYTHING they want because they are men. I simply comment on the fact there is a big issue with this particular gendered area for no ryhme or reason (of course this is my opinion).

I don't find that sexist, because I dont believe its just men. Its of no real consern of mine if a woman does her business in the male restroom or a guy relieves himself in the female bathroom. I'm not going to call security on a female in the mens room- and its not like females have NEVER used the mens room for one reason or another. But that doesn't make the news. Its not news worthy. It doesnt bother men (typically speaking). And thats just what I expect from decent humans beings- women and men. This isnt the right to vote. this isnt asking a female to wipe a guys bottom. He relieved himself in a room which sole purpose is to go to the bathroom. Unless he peed on the counter or committed a random act of violence I dont see the issue. If there was no vandalism or physical harm, then I think we are over-reacting.

By the way, saying that a woman has the right to feel safe and not a man can also be sexist. Sexism works both ways here. Forcing someone to use the mens room when it makes them uncomfortable- well its similar to FORCING a one of us (FTM who are comfortable in the mens room) to use the female bathroom- it seems it would make some of us feel incredibly uncomfortable. People have the right to feel safe- men and women alike. Thats not abusive or sexist.

I'm just saying we are arguing that where a person relieves him/her self has become a gender issue because we (as in society) made it an issue. We seperated these rooms- and thats all they are really. They are just rooms with toilets and sinks- its purpose to go to the bathroom and wash our hands. Most of us have ones we our apartment and houses, and we share it with opposite genders just fine. We seperated them and said who can and who can't go in them. Why? Probably out of fear, I don't honestly know, I never did the research. Like I said previsouly, I'm the one all for family bathroom. There is no gender to them, and they save space, time, energy, and money.

Your totally right about the ones making the most noise about the mens room never used it. I am sorry to hear about your bathroom experience. I suppose I have been very lucky. I'm only devils advocate because not too long ago I was freaked about going into the mens room, and I had no indication that I shouldn't be either. Thankfully I have a really great set of friends and an ex girlfriend who helped me. I'm no longer like that, but I can understand it. Frankly, hes not here to defend himself, so none of us know why he was in there or how hes feeling.

And again I'm saying that if he REALLY did this for attention, then he got exactly what he wanted. Because guys like us are sitting around a computer after the fact talking/ debating about it.

http://www.mangoproducts.net/PackAndPee.htm

Its a combo of prosthetics and the medicine spoon. It's my favorite, but it does cost moeny. Like Dylan said why pay if u can get something cheaper and jsut as reliable at Target. I just like the feeling of 'wiping it out' at a urinal.

No, I found latex tubing at...it was probably Lowes. It came off the roll, right next to the clear tubing you're talking about (brought some of both home, so I know exactly what you're talking about).

Yeah, I had to mess with the length too.

I have to say, while I have some of Target's free spoons, I've found the ones that I actually paid for ($1.78 from probably WalMart), work just a tad better. I don't know what it is, but yeah, they do work just a little better. It took me about a month or a month and half to really get the medicine spoon (either the free ones or the other ones) down pat.

The latex tubing is VERY hard to get around a regular medicine spoon. One trick is to take an eye dropper and melt it around the base of a cut medicine spoon (so it makes a funnel...so it looks like the link you posted), and then just put that in the latex and drag the latex thru the packer (someone on youtube has a video of this, but youtube jams up my computer <sad face>, so I can't link to it).

I'll be honest, I don't pack everyday, because it's just too damned hot here (I just carry the spoon). Last thing I need is another heat rash somewhere uncomfortable (I've got a binder that gives me all the heat rash I'll ever need). Working outside in this heat makes everything uncomfortable enough. But I have what I'm talking about (wish I could explain it better), and it works as well (because basically it's the same thing) as what that guy sells on transitionalmale. I couldn't figure out that guy's sizing. I don't know those measurements down there. Seemed too much guesstimating...especially when I have all the materials and can custom make whatever I need.

I cut the medicine spoon down to desired length, melted the medicine dropper (that came in the same package as the $1.78 medicine spoon) to the end (so it looks like what you linked to only shorter) with a cigarette lighter. Let it cool (I actually used ice water to cool it off, cuz I'm impatient). Stick medicine dropper into latex. Fish latex through. Voila! The end of the dropper sits in the packer about 1/2 inch or less (can't really remember exactly, but it's definitely not more than 1/2 inch)...but it's not uncomfortable, and it doesn't look weird or anything.

The worst thing I've run into is a decent packer harness. But a lot of that has to do with the heat here. I don't like to pack, because it's just too freakin' hot, and I don't want a bunch of extra crap in mahhh drawers creating more heat.

But thanks for clarifying. I totally know what you're talking about now. I had that issue too, and solved it by melting the dropper onto the end of the spoon, so I could make the total length exactly what I wanted.


Dylan

I did purchase from them but they have the worst business practise I've ever seen. I actually had to file a complaint with the BBB before they responded to me --- over 6 months after I had paid and repeated emails to them. I discourage anyone who wants a PackAndPee from buying from Mango.

No.. it's the part where you said:

"males are MTF and 1 out of 34000 females are FTM..."

MTFs are women.

FTMs are men.

Hey Cam-

I really suggest maybe you turn to some of your femme/female friends and speak with them about this. Most women I know find their bathroom space sacred. It can be a space for them to "go" to the bathroom yes, but many of the women I know use their bathroom space as a place to do many other "things" that don't involve just the stall and toilet paper. It is a private female place for them to relax. I also know that unlike us guys they are private in regards to the "going" experience. I once had a girl tell me the only thing missing in a womens restroom is sound effects so that people cant hear her going. Yes it is that private to them. So when a guy invades that female only space then it can be alarming and disenchanting to their experience. Guys/FtMs view going to the bathroom in a entirely different light. We go in, do the deed, and get out. The end.

It is not hard to understand with violence against women being as high as it is that when they see a guy/FtM enter into their scene, it is alarming at best for most of them. I am FtM that has done no physical transitioning yet I use the men's bathroom because I want to, it is where I am comfortable. I have seen the looks on women's faces when I enter that space and it makes me feel like I am invading their space and ya know what ??? I am!!! So I will never understand why a guy/FtM would choose to use a female bathroom.

Sexism and safety. I don't think we are over-reacting. There is a fine line here between being FtM and uncomfortable because of safety reasons and being FtM and asserting priviledge because fears can't be pushed passed. I feel he is asserting priviledge from a fearful place. The reality of it is his fluidity with being a guy should send him straight to the guys restroom. IMHO


I appretiate your posts but fear you are taking a nonchalant stance on the invasion of a female space that is no longer ours to have that attitude about.

Thanks in advance for considering what I have said!
Grant

I woindered if that wasn't what you were talking about. It sort of caught me, but I figured cam was quoting a study and guessed the study was referring to 1 out of 12000 identified as males at birth are MTF so actually identify as woman and 1 out of 34000 identified at birth as female are FTMs so actually identify as men.

I'll never wear a beard

Beard or not you should respect women enough not to invade their private space.

Rufus

who says i would invade

The word INVADE means to intrude upon or encroach upon.

If you enter the womens bathroom and you are identifying as male then you are invading.

Rufus

As of right now, I do use the womens restroom. However that being said, I have not started T, nor had any surgeries. It is however very akward for me to use the womens restroom, as there are times that I do get looks, or I have been stopped by men, from entering the womens restroom. Once I am more passable, I fully intend to use the mens room.

That being said, I do think that if a person can pass no problem as a male, then they have no business in the womens restroom. I cant imagine why they would want to bring that discomfort onto a total stranger, and I guess for me, since I feel such discomfort already with being in the womens room, that I cant imagine that it wouldnt make someone who is completely passable, extremely uncomfortable in the womens room.

Hey thanks for more detail... i'll have to check out lowes if i'm ever around one ..... not a lot near where I live.

Since I don't own a lighter wouldn't have thought of the melting trick.

Plus i'm sure a lot of people don't know about the possibility of free medicine spoons. I wouldn't have thought of asking since it's something they sell. Price is a tad higher here too ... but everything is in cali.

I can see that. Twice I bought from them and twice they were late. But As soon as I sent them an email (and it wasn't a nice email) my products were shipped... I also heard there is a site that other people have used. Djknowsdicks.com but when I visited there it look incredible unprofessional. Idk

oh my mistake, I was refering to biological males and female- the gender before transistioning. so odds are 1 out of 34000 females is transgender and will transition into a male.

I understand that. I mean I was female, I have girl friends, and I had them before transistioning. I know the going ons in public bathrooms. This sacred space is the nature of the beast in which society created.

In the UK (mind you this is not a first hand experience account) the law says anyone may use any public convenience, regardless of gender, provided that they are using it only for it's intended purpose.

It's not a female space- its a public space that was granted to females for reasons unnown- likely fear. Its not fair for any of us to say that a FTM has to push past thier fear to use the mensroom, but a female does not have to push past her fear to share the room. There is no privledge here. This action of relieving ones self made news somewhere. He wasn't let off because he was a guy- but I haven't heard a report on females entering males room. Like I said before, no one bats an eye if a female uses a males bathroom. I did when I was young, I've seen girl friends, and female family members use mens bathroom for different reason. You can not say a female bathroom is sacred space, but a male bathroom is fair game.

I feel like everyone is throwing the word sexism and safty but not seeing that these things work both ways. It is just as sexist to say a man/ftm can not go into a female bathroom because that is a sacred space to them- and they fear us, but its okay for them to come into the mens room. And its just as sexist to say a Ftm HAS to use the mens room (where they are uncomfortable- for safty reasons) because using the females room makes them uncomfortable-for safety reasons. Whos comfortability is worth more? Thats why I am for unisex/family bathroom. We are equally uncomfortable. no one has 'priviledge'.

Now, I am defending the FTM, but do not misunderstand me. I do not think it is right to make anyone- whatever gender feel uncomfrotable. No I do not want girls uncomfortable, but neither do I want my FTM brothern to feel uncomfrotable. I am not misogynistic by any stretch of the imagination. I am a huige supporter of womens rights, but only till they are equal to the male counterparts. No one is better then the other.

I do not work in gender. I don't do things now because its the guy thing. I never did things before transitioning because it was a girl thing. I am a human. I would in the plane of other decent moral humans. The right of feeling safe in public space is one shared by all genders. The right to relieve ones self is shared by all of nature. This has become an issue because we have split the two most popular genders' restrooms- an action that has created nothing but other issues on sexism combined with the rights of public space- all for safety purposes; which I'm sorry to say- just do not work.

Unisex bathrooms are the future... Thats all I'm saying.

yea thats what I saw... Thanks!

I've actually bought from there as well. And the product is just as good as Mangos but they actually respond to emails (nice or not). The guy that runs it is an FTM. Very simple operation but he's also a responsive business man (that is, he cares about YOU as a customer).

He is not, however, a web designer. LOL

amen brother billy, you guys need to put on your big boy pull ups and got to the damn men's room where we belong.
@

it is not a matter of "passable" it is in your mind. if you walk in there like you have been in there your whole life, then you got no worries. walk in there scared like a lil girl an you will get nervous and think everyone is staring at you. it is up to you to decide when you are ready. and if you are uncomfortable going in the women's room, then it's past the time bucko.

@

dang not sure how long ago but it was a couple years ago ... I hadn't started injectible T yet. Was on the cream but still didn't completely pass. Mainly my voice though but some people could figure it out.

I was on jury duty ... went into the women's bathroom the first day and right away could tell that wasn't going to work. Since no one knew my legal name, I was just a number I used the mens that whole week. Of the four people I hung out with, I think 2 of them figured it out but it was cool they were respectful and as far as I know didn't say anything to the 3 rd. In fact he cranked the song "detachable penis" while I was in the car .... it was hilarious cause he was totally clueless.

My other funny bathroom story was some cranky ol guy at my AA meeting was getting after me for using the unisex/family/handicap bathroom not too long ago. I tease with everyone that i'm the only one that fits all three symbols on the sign.

I started using mens changing rooms about the same time I started using the mens restroom. Targets have everything in one area now so it's no big deal but other places I was buying in the mens so it was just easiest to go in there and no one ever said anything. There were times a sales clerk would have to help me also.

I 've known women to use the mens that don't even pass at all if they got to go and it has no line. The men may tilt or shake their head but that's as far as it goes.

It's just hard to realize the dynamics are so different until you just go ahead and use it.

I started in areas where I wasn't going to run into people I knew. If around my parents I would decide I had to go after they were all done. I'm not around dad often so I think that would still be weird but I do go into the mens room with a ton of other men that have seen me go through this process, and to my face no one has said anything except the story I posted above when I didn't use the mens room.

So I've been in here a few times...and not just out of curiosity. I had passed of living as a guy for about 6 monthes one time and had never been happier.
Although I never exposed that side of me to my family and now that I'm living near them I can't pass it off at all as they are well known in the community.
I was asked today when I look in the mirror what do I see? I answered..."I see what should have been a guy".
Because of the predjudices I've grown up with and in this community I havent had much exposure to the life I want to live. To be blunt I'm a bit scared and confused.
Luckily I have a wonderful woman by my side helping me explore deeper into myself than I was ever willing to go on my own. As a matter of fact...she was the one who got me to admit not only to her but myself the true nature of my feelings and thoughts.
I know I'm rambling a bit guys...I'm sorry.
Maybe this is a reach-out to those who may understand my angst, confusion, and need to simply be me? Idk...
Any feedback would be appreciated as I am dieing to know if I'm the only one feeling this way?

I will never forget the first time a woman looked at me, and saw me—really saw me. I had spent so many years thinking that it was all in my head. It was one of the most delightful moments of my life.

Best of luck tuff!

First of all...Thanks guys...Seriously...Thank you.
So right now I'm quietly and discreetly packing...umm...My boxerbriefs.
Besides this and one other post I haven't spoken about this with anyone but my girlfriend.
I have to say it feels...idk...right?
I'm just learning what this in me is exactly...definitions and such...But more importantly how alot of this applies to me.How I relate to it.
I've just recently admitted for the first time my first fantisies.Which were of girls.And as myself in the male role.
What I thought of as a child. Could I maybe wake one morn and be a boy? Would I finally be "right" then?
When I first realized I was a girl I was made to use a public womens restroom for the first time by myself. I was horrified and thought there was a very serious mistake on the adult's part in making me go in there. I kept thinking just why the HELL they would force me go in THERE with the GIRLS?
Before I was old enough to understand the difference between the boys and girls, I ran with my bio male cousins on the farm...I ran about shirtless with them, hunted and went fishing with them, climbed trees and explored the woods and farmlands.I was one of them.
I remember trying to explain to my ma just why I shouldn't go to the girls bathroom or wear dresses and even the time I told her I was goin to marry a girl one day....the words she used to describe MY thoughts and MY f****** feelings (when I was once told my thoughts and feelings were just THAT...MINE!)...I was told I was unnatural...god would call me an abonmination...I better NEVER tell anyone else lest I embarressed the family at church...Guys, I was sent to a M*****F****** christian therapy camp to help "cure" me of these evil thoughts for surely the devil was tempting me to go against god's will.
When I was older and with my ex-wife I saw a news report back in '99 about a successfull operation to make a female into a male. My first thought was "OMG MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
Stupid me tried to open up about it to my ex and once again the words that were lashed at me shut me up all over.(What if she told my parents?!They had me committed once for this.)
So untill these past 4 months my thoughts on this subject were as limited as my knowledge and understanding.
I feel like I'm rambling again so I'm goin to end this with a final thought and thanks.
My thanks is to my wonderful ya'fa girlfriend who brought me not only to this site but took the time and patience to help me understand what myself and others had sought to destroy and hide.(And of course she ever so discretely guided me to FTM threads and friends of hers...lol)
My final thought is for you guys.The bravery it must have took to forge this path!! I will never be able to express my gratitude too be able to finally speak freely and ask the questions I was never given the chance too.