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That cosume....:lol2:
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A trick or treaters worst nightmare! Changed my mind about being Smiley today, decided on scary clown wearing a one piece mechanics uniform. The costume would not be complete without my chain saw, a very good fake with realistic sound. It will take about 2 to 3 hours for my blushing bride to do my make-up, so I better get cracking!
Happy Ghouls Day to All Who Celebrate! https://www.ctvnews.ca/polopoly_fs/1..._620/image.png |
Steve Harvey and his reactions to answers on Family Feud.
My buddy Donna and her smart-ass comebacks. Nothing sneaks past her. |
Going thru really old posts of mine, being reminded of some awesome funny times, adventures, friends, our banter and stupid-silly things we'd get into.
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Racist Country Singer Under Fire For New Song–Because Of Its Terrible Grammar
Quote:
https://yesplz.co/racist-country-singer-fire-new-song-terrible-grammar/?utm_content=inf_11_4078_2&tse_id=INF_06d6f4a0cd5e 11e7b926579f881108d6 |
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I was writing my weekly business report today, and mentioned that, that major home improvement store was still receiving trucks of dry wall daily. Showing that the area is still under construction from the damage of the hurricane.
I did a quick re- read and saw that I referred to that store as...Homo Depot. Oh no..had to fix that! |
Heh Heh! :)
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Cracked me up
Last night when I got ready for bed I realized that I had worn my sweat pants backwards all day yesterday. Haha!
:superfunny: |
As I’ve mentioned before, we have a problem at our office building with women at the newish business downstairs coming from floor #1 to floor #3 to....do #2. This even though they have a much larger restroom down there.
Our restroom used to stay very clean and tidy, but now it constantly smells like a latrine with paper on the floor, etc. During our Dirty Santa party last week, one of the gifts was a “public restroom survival kit” with wipes, Little Trees hanging air fresheners, and Poo-Pourri spray. Well, the person who ended up with that gift thought it would be a good idea to leave the Poo-Pouri spray in the restroom and hang the Little Trees on the hook of each stall door. Not even two days later, and someone stole both the Poo-Pourri and the Little Trees out of each stall. (Really.) Once discovered, my coworker came back from the restroom, walked through the door and yelled, “This is why we can’t have nice things around here!” |
Cracked me up
Today I was getting a hair cut from a young lady and we were talking about the holidays. I said that I got the grandkids videos then she said what is a video? So realizing my mistake I said "I mean DVDs".
Haha! Old guy humor. :superfunny: |
This fella who seems to really enjoy his job.
:lol2: |
I bought a new alarm clock yesterday. My old one is probably 25 years old. The sad thing is you cannot test drive an alarm clock before you buy it.
What cracked me up today is I just tested my new alarm clock. This alarm isn't loud enough for me to hear when I'm awake let alone when I'm dead asleep |
Quote:
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That I went to the grocery store, bought eggs and a few other items, got home and opened the egg container and noticed it had ten eggs, not twelve that I bought.
Deborah |
I pulled in to my usual place to fuel my truck and there was a motorcycle at the pump ahead of me, with a rider that seemed a bit befuddled by paying with a credit card. The card reader has been temperamental lately so I watched him for a few seconds to see if he needed some help. Just as I got ready to step out of my truck, he scratched the side of his head...while his helmet was on. I was undoubtedly way too humored, but at that instant I knew he'd figure the pump debacle out without my assistance. I've done that very thing a time or two myself, and I can attest to the friction between glove and helmet magically creating "Aha!" moments.
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I've been helping some friends prepare their house for their grandkids to visit (the house was a construction zone after remodeling their kitchen)...
One day last week, I arrived as "Mr Santa" was hooking up all the inflatable yard ornaments and roof lights... good thing he works for the fire dept...he cracked me up when he was fussing about the flying pig needing a new motor. He loves pigs!! So today, after cleaning house for several days and being happy with the dent I made, I arrived to the joy of finding the big pink pigs (made of flat metal) that are mounted near the garage roof are wearing Santa hats!! Toooo funny...but once I stepped into the house, my crack-up moment turned to shock...Holy Flippin Flying Pigs!! This place looks like Christmas blew up!! "Mrs Santa" had brought down every box in the attic filled with every Christmas ornament imaginable. It was CRAZY!! I couldn't get through the den, dinning room, hallway, kitchen or bathroom!! Yes, there is a huge live plant in the bath tub and several boxes of Christmas ceramic houses sitting on the floor where you can't even get to the toilet. There's an 8' tree in the den and TWO more in the dinning room... and she's not done! You can't tell we did any work since last Saturday. My text to my other friend "I'm gonna be covered in glitter when I leave here!" A few hours pass and Mr Santa arrives home carrying a handful of glittery, flowery tree topper. My immediate response was "MORE Christmas decorations?" ...his reaction "that woman's killin' me" :jester: I adore them and I don't envy him for having to put up with her decoration-buying fetish. P.S. the old flying pig didn't make it a week... he's awaiting his replacement parts. |
My roomie's mom getting me a pink trunk organizer and pink, foldable, insulated cooler and 2 light-up light switches that she was so proud to announce she "figured" I could use when I go camping. She was so happy to describe the light switches had magnets on the back and she "figured" I could "stick them to the inside" of my truck bed so I'd have lights if I ever go camping again where coyotes live.
She cracks me up. (Shaking my head at her color choices, but I'm thankful she's so thoughtful.) |
Cracked me up
This happened in New Orleans at Christmas. when I have a suggestion I usually say that I have a proposal. At Christmas dinner I told my companion that I had a proposal for her and she said that I had given her a lot of proposals so far and then I got the look. Haha!
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Cracked me up
A few minutes ago a femme in the grocery store mistook me for her butch. Haha!
:superfunny: |
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