Knock me silly
 

After I was done cussin' from cracking my head on the metal bar to the low chain link gate, I had to laugh. I knew the damn thing was there, but I sure did a bad job of clearing it.

At 9:05am the power came back on after being out since 2:30am. The house temp is 42°, everyone is cuddled under several layers of blankets including the dogs.

After going out to the shed, freezing my ass off, at 8am to get the camp toilet, I went back to bed, curled up tight trying to get my feet and ass cheeks to thaw, thinking "it's going to take forever to warm back up" when suddenly the power kicks on and the TV starts itself then up pops a message on the blue screen "This may take a while."

:blink: :blink:

I may start believing in messages from the Other Side. :vigil: :vigil:

My knucklehead, goofball best friend and his response to tasting soft tofu for the first time. It didn't help me that we were in a very small, semi-fancy restaurant and I had to contain my laughter while his facial expressions were like a three year old who was trying not to barf.

Watching the Worst Cooks In America where they are trying to fillet a fish.

I saw this elderly man in the gym today and I was like "awwww." Turns out he can bench more than I can.

I need to step up my game...

Bulldog In The House Ha Ha
 

Cracked me up
 

Today I was pumping fuel at a local independent gas station. They are known for selling fuel cheaper than what is posted on their sign. We call it the yellow store because it is painted yellow.

While pumping fuel I noticed a sign that said "No Kung Fu fighting at the pumps by Manager". Haha!

I have had that song in my head ever since.

:cowboy:

Oh that is so mean!

Everybody was Kung foo fighting.......

Ooh Kelly Clarkston!
 

That moment when you realize that your sexy but sadistic depilatory scene just went live on Instagram... yeah, that just happened :|

someone at work who is smart as a whip, says she saw the moon but it didn’t look “blue”.

When i explained that its called a blue moon because there are two mooos in January, she then said

“i only saw one, where was the other one?”

:rofl: :|

How the massive, spring loaded lid on my neighbor's pig smoker got the best of me when I was trying to stash some goodies in there until they got home.

I am beyond amused. :jester:

I just read that as “trying to stash some bodies in there.” That cracked me up, though maybe it shouldn’t have...

Bacon Wrapped Pork Tenderloin smothered in apple gravy...
 

If I hadn't cracked up, I woulda cried at my Air Fryer Fail.
Thankful for an old fashioned skillet to the rescue.
I wish I could post pics.

My very petite and dainty best girlfriend is in the tub and just cut a monstrous fart and then yelled:

"ANGIE!!!! YOUR DOG KEEPS FARTING IN THE BATHTUB AND BLAMING IT ONE ME!"

me telling my love that i am watching a musical and enjoying the hell out of it!

:clap:

Last night, my 24 year old son showing me that he learned all about rice's dirty little secret. He said that it didn't look like that much when it was in the measuring cup before he cooked it. Now he is bemoaning the fact that he will be eating yellow rice for a long time. I told him many of us learn the same way.

From a book I'm reading (Stripping the Sub):

"I don't fart! I'm a lady! I whisper in my panties."

My cheeks hurt, my sides hurt, tears ran down my face, and gawd knows I needed the laugh tonight.