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Jo laying on one side of sectional me sitting on other
JO: :passinggas:
Me: honey u didnt give full disclosure about "things" in the beginning Jo: ur just rubbing off on me Me: whens the last time you heard me :passinggas: Jo: last night---you made my eyes bleed Me: :blink: Jo: :rofl: |
Damon: "I am backing up (the show we were watching) because I am confused"
Me: "I stay confused" Damon: "I am not suprised living in a house with me" Me: (playing on my computer not EVEN thinking of what I was saying) "You can say that again!" Damon: :|:blink: :| :blink: "Did you not think I could hear that?!?! I am not completely deaf you know." Me: :hiding: "Oops!" |
Me: Hey baby they changed the date for the rapture!
Gemme: OMG so they are having a re-rapture? :poc-lol::poc-love: |
Overheard at a friend's beach house this past weekend...
Scene: My friend of 9 years is in the kitchen talking with my g.f., while my g.f. is cooking. This past weekend is the first time these two have met, even though my partner and myself have been together for two years.
After complimenting my g.f. on her general awesomeness, my friend asks, "How did [Dapper] ever get you?", in utter seriousness. :| |
Ms: She will have to be the first to go during the zombie apocalypse because she will sell us out for sex.
Me: :crackingup: |
Me and Miss Pinky discussing a rental house...
Me: "This isn't too bad, it's out in the country, partially fenced backyard" Miss Pinky: (looking at interior pics of home) "There's nothing like a black fridge with a white stove" Me: "I never would have noticed if you hadn't said something" Miss Pinky: "Well overall it isn't too bad but it's about as ugly as I can go,we can't rent anything any uglier...ok??" Me:"So this is your ugly quotient? We can't exceed it???" Miss Pinky is now giving me the HAIRY EYEBALL!!! |
Me: I'm going to drink my wine float and post something.
Ebon: Oh, Jesus. :| Me (going to my computer and seeing that the cpu is on): Oh, crap! I left Bessie on all night! Me: (turning the monitor on and a program I never use coming up): WTF? Ebon: Oh, shit. I was watching porn and forgot to turn it off before you got home. Me: I hope you washed your hands before you typed on Bessie. :blink: |
A VIRUS people, a VIRUS...
I was talking about a VIRUS when from the bedroom... I said laud enough for the boy and the whole world to hear...
Outlaw: "Yeah, why is it that every time I get it, it's harder AND longer?" Fishinabaggie: (said something inaudible given the snickering) I should be in bed, but I can't sleep over the din of her haughty laughter. |
Last night Ebon and I are in bed, chatting as we usually do before we go to sleep and the conversation went something like this:
Ebon: If we do break up, I'm going to stalk you. Me: What? You'll leave your fiery vagina to stalk your ex? Ebon: Yeah, and I'll watch you through the window. I'll watch you while you cook and while you watch your TV shows. Me: You'll stalk me and watch me watch TV? Ebon: Yeah. Me: That's sad. Ebon: Eh. Me: I can't get you to watch my shows with me NOW, and we're in a relationship, but you'll watch them with me while you stalk me after we've broken up? That's fucked up. :blink: Ebon: :rofl: |
Jo and i are sitting on the couch after dinner eating some Crunchn Munch i had gotten earlier at the store--seems we both are very addicted to it and we mention worrying about eating the whole box
Me:honey,i think ur right we ARE gonna eat the whole box Jo: Why you thinking im eating so fast?(she was shoveling this stuff in) Me: trying to get full quicker so you dont? Jo: no so i can get more than you! :| :rofl: thats my baby!! |
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So Simon is such a good boy. Trained him well. That is til tonight lol . I'm picking up the apt and cooking. He's usually under my feet. As I throw things in fridge away that's expired he goes in the bedroom and fleetingly I think hmmm that's weird he's usually up my ass. So I continue on and a knock comes to the door and its my neighbor. We stand there talking for a few minutes when I hear this blood curling squeal. I freak out and rush inside and he has gotten himself in the trash can after the bolognq I threw away and couldn't get out LMAO scared me to death.
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well i figure since i exaggerate the sweet,giving,nice side of you i might as well do the same on the opposite end.
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Me to cockatoo: STOP THROWING BANANAS AT THE DOGS!
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ow, that hurts !
me: it's not suppose to hurt, it's suppose to be romantic |
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We like HER. :eyebrow: |
Banjo, our Pom, picked out a cute lil baby dragon from the petstore. Cruel was sitting in recliner and Banjo kept putting the dragon on the arm of the chair and licking it.
Cruel: "Banjo, why do you keep licking your baby dragon?" Me: "If you had a baby dragon you'd lick it too." |
While sitting and watching "Two Fat Ladies" A cooking show that just cracks me up I love those ladies. One was making a kind of bread and I didn't hear what she called it.
Me to my daughter: Is she making spotted dick? (which is an english bread ) My daughter: ROFLMAO so hard she had tears Me: very mature for a 21 yr old My daughter: ahahahahahahaha those are words I never thought I'd ever hear from you Mama (while she is still rofl) |
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