http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7241/7...c1acfc2ca2.jpg

YSK that this is another pic via my friend who owns/operates a store in the Pike Place Market .... TONS of YSK shit down there, man, seriously.

YSAK that I used to manage a convenience store (back in the day, when I lived in Tulsa) and yes, signs like this are necessary. :blink:

YSK I don't know how I'm supposed to act or feel right now. I'm a mixed up bundle of emotions, and I'm going to make a few missteps along this way.

YSK I've never been good at grieving. I am much better at fixing things and doing things. So that's what I focus on, what I can do to try to make things better for others who are hurting right now, and I hope maybe by easing some of their pain, it will diminish my own.

When my father died, everyone was a wreck, so I made all the phone calls, all the arrangements. It was a month before I cried. I just kept staying so busy that I couldn't. Every time someone close to me dies, I have this urge. Because I don't know what else to do but to DO something.

YSK, you fellow YSK'ers who have my number, that I appreciate your phone calls. I'm sorry I'm not much for conversation, and I'm sorry I can't just open up and spill out my emotions. I know it would probably make me feel better, but I don't know how to talk about these things. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate you trying, and I am grateful that you are there. I'm writing because it's easier for me than talking, so here's an update on my progress:

YSK that in the 7 stages of grief, I hit stage 2 (guilt & pain) first, then stage 1 (denial & shock). It would be like me to do things out of order! Now it seems I am on to stage 3 (anger & bargaining), because I'm really pissed off today! I feel this pent-up rage, and I keep trying to point it at different people. I hope this stage passes quickly. The book (ok, website) says I can do permanent damage to my relationships in this stage and that I should watch myself.

I wish I were a boxer or a fighter or that I could swing a hammer at something, but all I know how to do is sing. Where is the angry grief song that I can sing? Where is the why-am-I-so-fucking-sad song?

YSK this is ridiculously rambly. Thanks for listening, friends.

ysk--there is no order to grief...it doesn't have a manual

ysk your cared about and your allowed to grieve in your manner..it isn't up to anyone to determine this for you.

YSK I should probably be rooting for Oklahoma. This is literally the only place I can post this without getting something thrown at me, but I kinda hope the Heat win the championship. It may be a long shot. I don't know, because I'm not actually a sports fan. But yay, they won!

YSK I'm pretending I didn't just read this*gives Diva the stink eye*. I think I might start coughing up blood. Let the Thunder roll!!!!!!!!!!! Throws something at Diva.

(((((Diva))))) Hon it took me a long time and some counseling to learn and understand that there is no wrong way to grieve as long as you allow yourself to grieve...am here if you need an ear or shoulder...sending you strength and peaceful energy...

LMAO YSK, Crystal, you always make me laugh!

It's a dangerous cycle because everyday I go to work (usually 6 days a week, the bastards!), and everyday I have to put on makeup to cover the pimple, so everyday I get a new one from the makeup (my cousin says stress, but I'm pretty sure it's makeup clogging my pores, not stress). So, now I look like a 13 year old! But at least I have a day to rest with no makeup.

have you tried bare minerals? it actually does help prevent acne

YSK, well, I must confess I don't wear makeup that often. Most days, it's just lipstick for me. I have tried the cheap bare minerals knockoffs, but I can't cough up the crazy amount of money they want for that stuff!

And YSK, I don't generally have acne. I usually get one pimple per month, and I'm sure you can guess when that comes! This has been a very strange week for my face.

YSK: That I'm a humble person.

i get my foundation once a year cause i don't wear make up daily either..i get mine at ulta and i get the large one lasts a year so its worth it.

YSK this is the saddest text I've ever received.

I asked his best friend, "How are you holding up?"

This was the response:

Lost and don't know what to do. something happens and I go to call syl and think she's not here, I have no one now that understand me and listens to me I don't know what I am going to do



My heart just breaks for her. What do you tell someone who has lost the only person who really knew them?

perhaps step up and offer the friendship that you have to offer and let her know she not alone ...:( this breaks my heart too

YSK I would tell her , it won't always be like this. It will get better. And instead of picking up the phone, just talk to Syl out loud. That might help.