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Belle and Bella busting into the bedroom and jumping on the bed where Bully is sleeping.
Belle: GOOD MORNING BABY. We tried really hard not to wake you up this morning. We waited and waited and couldn't stand it anymore cause we missed you so much!!! Bully: (grumbling) Belle: It's a beautiful day!!!! We've been playing with toys and been outside a few times!!! Coffee's on!!! Bully: (grumbling a little more, but laughing) Belle *looking at the sunlight coming through the window and shining in Bully's eyes. How can you stand that sunlight coming through the window in your face every morning? Bully: Ummm, well, that's the least of my worries. :| |
Mia and I reading about Cinderella.
Me: "And the stepsisters were so mean to Cinderella and tore up her pretty dress" Mia: ::::some baby talk first then ::: "be nice and share" Me: "Thats right honey! |
Just minutes after waking up, Bully and Belle in the kitchen talking.
Bully: Oh i think i want cinnamon toast. Belle: I think we are out of cinnamon, but we have thyme. Bully: Thyme doesn't go with toast. Belle: Oh sure it does. Don't you remember the song "Thyme in a bottle"? Bread wrote that. Bully: Honey your mouth is still asleep, you need coffee. Besides it was Jim Croce. |
It's too cold to stand around naked eating breakfast.. I knew I should of waited to take my clothes off!
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J driving me to work because I still can't drive yet....
me: I love you more than all the carbon in the universe... J: *blink blink* J: *pursed lips* J: Ummm I love you more than all -that- me: oh...... *blink blink* |
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Not actually heard, but a text message conversation
Me: The sun is shining and I think I just decided I need a trip across the border.
BFF: Why are you going over there? (scared face) Me: Just for something to do. I like to wander. BFF: Careful, I hear they kidnap and keep the sexiest lesbians. You will be a prime target. Me: Lol, yes that is a concern (confused face) BFF: Oh you KNOW it is!!!!!!! Me: I will be most careful. Wait, maybe I want to be kidnapped. Then I'll be all sad when I get home safe. BFF: But I will be all sad if you get kidnapped. Eyes Super Shaman cape. Me: Ok, I will use my Femme invisibility to get me home safe. BFF: Ok thank the goddess. She really makes me laugh. |
Ruff yelling at this crazy woman who keeps running up and down the stairs, "Go Away" and her response was, "I heard that"... I sat on the couch laughing since Ruff kept yelling at this woman and our dog started barking at her... She was getting told off by a six pound Chihuahua...I gotta love this apartment complex with all of the diverse people who live here.
Zimmeh |
Maybe she can't afford a gym membership and is using the stairs? I dunno, but the visual you gave just cracked me up. :)
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Meow --pay attention to me .
Meow meooooooooow feed me or for water knocks around dish . Meeeeow (disgusting look ) clean the litter boxes or you'll be sorry. |
while going thu Wendy's drive - thru...
Me: $2.23 for a large fries? anonymous Friend on speaker phone: why don't you just get a couple off the dollar menu? long pause Me: that would still be $2 bucks, you goof Them : oh yeah, it would I love they always find something to make me laugh |
Through a stroke of luck, fate, and two wonderful friends...we will soon be bringing a new puppy home. Needless to say, we are both very excited! GHD has been looking at websites for dog toys, accessories, etc...
GHD: Look at this! Me: Uh...that coat is too big for a puppy. GHD: Oh...you're right, we'll have to wait til he gets bigger. But look at this! Me: He's not going to need boots...besides you don't want him to get tenderfooted GHD: Oh...you're right. BUT LOOK AT THIS!!! Me: Sigh...honey....why would he need goggles??? GHD: They're "doggles"! Me: Sigh |
I am drunkenly cooking bacon and eggs, M is drunkenly stuffing a stocking and watching Archer.
M: Honey, could you pass me a beer please? Me: What am I, your beer-fetching servitude thing? M: No, baby, you're closest to the fridge. Me: Post feminism, my fucking ass. Me: *picks up nearest mason jar, smells contents* This is not wine. It is water. M: *gets up, gently moves me aside and fetches a beer* |
She Blinded Me With Science
Merry Christmas All!.....
8yo Mancub: I'm not going to do anything, I'm just LOOKING at my Chemistry Set. Me: Okay Mancub: I have my safety goggles on.... Me: Good ! Mancub: I'm ready to do some Science. Me: no. I don't think so. Mancub: Whyyyyyyyy noooot.....?!?! Me: Because you have nothing else on. Mancub: (looks down at his naked body only wearing underpants) Oh yeah. :::giggles::: He returns from his room now wearing the safety goggles, underwear.....and shoes. This is how he's dressed and eating breakfast. |
gettng ready to watch "american horror story" this is the exchange
sneeze from the cat several of them me: Bud r u ok cinn: maybe he is allergic to the pine tree me: bud sneezed cinn: I know me: what pine tree cinn: the tree oh wait that isnt a real tree I love her so |
While folding laundry a 10 year old kid voice calls out...
"Hey moooooom! I'm about to do something that the box says requires adult supervision! Does that mean you have to watch or just be in range?" Katniss~~(tossing laundry and running off to locate voice) |
My marbles have fallen out of the bag and I can't find them....
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Niece to cousin:
'You know its getting serious when you fuck sober' |
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Zimmeh and I texting each other:
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Leftovers....
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We went out to our favorite local Chinese restaurant. We order enough to be able to bring home leftovers for lunch the next day. The following afternoon~ Me: Would you like any? <holding out container> Outlaw: No! I don't want to order that again! They use dark meat chicken instead of white meat. It was awful. I was gagging trying to eat it! Me: Um, honey? We ordered Tangerine Beef, not chicken. Outlaw: Oh. Yeah, give me that piece right there, please. It is really good....now that I know it's beef! |
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Justin and our roommate's (who is her coworker) conversation...
Justin: hey dude, why didn't you come to work today? You ok?? Roomie: ah, well I did some extacy last night... Really!? 8/ *shm* |
Heard on the phone this afternoon....
Me.... Just a sec Friend... Sure Me... *moving phone away, looking at the holy terror beagle.... What did you DO?! *goes over, takes whatever it was away* you aren't supposed to have that! *back to phone* I'm sorry about that Friend... *laughing* Me... What could possibly be so damned funny? Friend... No, I was just saying to my partner, "i know that tone! He's talking to a dog!" Me.... :/ |
At work..
Guy setting up for an event: Hey are you security? Me: Yes. Guy: I've been meaning to ask you something? Can I ask you something? Me: :| Guy: Is that illegal? Cause it should be. (as he points to a lady co-worker of his bent over and her crack is revealing and all we see is a string of underwear) Me: Ummm.. not answering but I couldn't help but chuckle and roll my eyes. OMG! |
Me and my 8yo son:
Son: Mom! I played Apples to Apples! Me: Cool, was it fun? Son: Yes! I had to put down something that I enjoy! Me: (never knowing what comes next)...okayyyyyy.... so what did you put down? Son: (with a HUGE grin on his face)....CHEERLEADERS!!! Me: :seeingstars: High fives him anyway....that's my boy!!:hangloose: |
Me: Do we have any english muffins? I'm hella hungry!
Hym: Of course! Would you like me to make you one? Me: Would you make me two? Hym: Absolutely! You outrank me now, I have no rank, you are a supervisor and I am a peon! I wouldn't giggle but hy is a little intoxicated :wine: |
I say .. you bring
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Me: How about you go outside and try out your new skateboard?
Son: No, I can't Me: Why not? Son: There's something wrong with it Me: What? Son: It only goes left Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's a skateboard, what do you mean it only goes left? Apparently there was something wrong with the wheels |
wayyyy early this morning, we were...talking....and heard snow plows going by
Me: did it snow?? Teddy: I don't know. Was it supposed to? Me: I'm not sure... Teddy: Well let's see...(reaches for his phone) :| Me: (laughing) You're checking your phone to see if it snowed?? Whatever happened to looking out the window?! Teddy: Well, my phone says snow... Welcome to the age of technology... |
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With Zimmeh's Mom. lol
A random guy to her mom: Did you work at Disney? Her mom: Yea I was Mickey Mouse. Later as we are driving it comes up again. Her mom: Did you work at Disney? Yes I was the mf princess.. LMAO! |
Watching the walking dead
subway commercial comes on bunch of people can't pronouce Feburary.. *Me... February, that's not hard to say* *Her.... February, no that's not hard to say at all* *Me, now spelling it... that's har... wait that's wednesday... never mind* lucky I can laugh at myself and don't mind people joining me... Gren |
while at work.....
My client: Grab my nuts and come watch this!
Me: :blink: He had asked for some pistachios and wanted me to see Do No Harm, since we had already said that it looked like a good show....lol Yes, there are many moments of comic relief in my job! |
Heard at work :
Client "Just hurry up and take it off, my wife could be back any minute" Me : "Laughs to self over at the desk" |
"that's it I'm gonna fart by you when your sleeping, lest see how you like it" said to my DOG...
AT WORK= "Just go in there and pee and leave the cup on the table there"... |
JUST ANOTHER DAY HERE.. LOL
last night as I'm laying in bed and Zimmeh getting ready for bed.
Zimmeh: Are you gonna get ready for bed? Are you gonna brush your teeth? Me: No, I'm gonna have stinky breath and stay up all night. hehe. |
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