Taken Out Of Context:

Me:
Why don't I just whip out my little trouser trout and we'll see what I have?


(I was talking about a small yellow rubber fish that you squeezed the gills and it became a flashlight, a bright light would turn on in the mouth. It was in my pocket and the power had gone out at work and someone asked for a lighter and I thought I might have one in my backpack.)

Gaige, talking about her dog, Nugget. Apparently, if you let your poodles hair grow out, it can form dreadlocks.

"I'm going to have Nugget's with dreadlocks"

" Holy shit balls, how would you like to have lay down beside that every night." Yowza