I have always been uncomfortable, with the typical seventeen inches most folks are comfortable with. I am comfortable hugging only those I know very well. I am extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and rarely subject myself to them.

Thanks for reviving this thread. I've been wanting it lately. I heard some things about ADHD and wanted to share - for others who have it and for those who deal with us regularly.

I heard an interview recently where it was mentioned that people without ADHD have brains that function in beta waves during alert activity and work, but that the front of the ADHD brain tends to function in theta waves (the waves usually found as a person is falling asleep). This helps explain our function impairment but also our abilities to free-associate heavily - which is often something non-adhd people end up doing as they try to fall asleep. Anyway, I hadn't heard this before, but I found it on the Conversations with Mensa podcast show "Taking Control of ADD."

We ADHD folks have trouble with "executive function": categorizing, prioritizing and initiating action. We also have social deficits. We have poor inhibition control / high impulsivity. We don't always understand the *rules* of social interaction or business life. About 50% of us have some OCD symtoms and about 30% of OCD folks have some ADHD symptoms. About 50% of us will struggle with substance abuse issues at some point in our lives. As kids, we're often told that we are not performing to our potential, that we need to apply ourselves more, that we are lazy. The truth is that we are applying ourselves probably twice as hard and our results are half as successful.

I found a diagram once regarding problem-solving and comparing ADHD to Aspergers. Both are neuro-biological and they have both similarities and differences. I would say our similarities are - that we don't always understand the social cues and unwritten rules of conversation and social behavior and often we will be attracted to and collect unusual sets of knowledge. This problem-solving diagram showed something interesting though about our differences. If an ADHD person is presented with a problem, we are very quick to say, "screw this" and abandon whatever it is we are working on. Then, we will work it out in the back of our minds and sometimes we will come back and actually have a greater attention span for fixing the problem to the end. Aspies have a much longer time - longer than non-aspie folks - before they hit the "screw this" stage. That stamina among aspies is extremely effective for Aspies though it may cause them to focus on something counterproductive at some points.

I have a very difficult time with personal space, even sometimes from people I am close to or intimate with. If I am concentrating, overstimulated in any way (visually, emotionally, or auditory etc.) too hot, too cold or pretty much anything other than comfortable and relaxed physical touch is too much for me, it almost hurts and it disrupts my ability to think. I have learned to tolerate the accidental invasions of the people around me (it feels like an invasion often) I try not to get snippy or pull violently away but sometimes I still flinch. (So irritating when trying to appear typical) Even more difficult for me is that from people I love I need to be touched to feel connected. What a shitty conundrum.

Most large crowds are too much for me, I can make myself deal with them (although I usually avoid them) afterword I am very quiet and withdrawn and NEED to be alone for awhile.

Strangely enough I can totally handle a large crowd when I am dancing, there instead of feeling like an invasion or like pain, the touch and movement feel welcome, like I am a part a great writhing joyful unified transcendence. Perhaps because the strong beat unifies everything, or perhaps because when I am dancing I feel completely free and loose like I am in the hot center of being, or perhaps because I have a special relationship with music that over rides everything else.

so much like us-
 

http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.or...sheldrick.html

this woman amazes me. she developed a formula, after twenty-eight years for these precious babies, which is coconut milk-based.

I'm ADD, my brother is an aspie. I'd love to read this thread but it's too long..

I want to see this!

I have a question...
 

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;331850]
I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?


in school, i probably did not notice being bullied so much. there was one time, i was asked to meet some 'friends' at a specific location; right before i left my house, the phone rang with a warning from a trusted friend who found out the intentions of the people were to pick a fight with me. i had totally missed everything related to their plans, and would have shown up at the spot.

that's human though, and not necessarily spectrum related. i do believe i'm not looking for mean spirited people around every corner, and being on-guard 24/7 would totally wear me out. what i can share with you, andrew, about 'not knowing how to respond' is this, please: processing information can take time- sometimes much longer depending upon wiring, the scenario, health, and many other variables. if i am upset and/or very confused- i will not be able to put into words my feelings- i just feel [and the feeling is enough to know things are not right for me]. later on, i can articulate better the circumstances and how i was effected/affected.

it's like when i used to get lost- maybe pass my own house- and would wonder, what was 'wrong' with me? usually, i was having an anxiety/panic attack and it made sense that i was terribly confused. people who are intentionally unkind may use this in their arsenal- someone may bank on their 'target' feeling too confused to respond immediately - if at all. on one hand, it's a good thing :) on the other hand, finding the words- the ones 'perceived' to be the 'right words' can be frustrating if you are needing to be yourself- and just get the words out as an expression of self- in your own way. especially, if you are responding to someone who was unkind [set you up to fail] in the first place!

I am tired today. Tired of the neurotypical with their loud voices, shrieking vocalizations, bright lights, clanging banging hubbub. Tired of their secret code of subtext that is different from what they say and that they penalize you for not understanding that they don't say what they mean, you're just supposed to read their minds. Tired of people standing too close, touching without invitation. Tired of strangers or rather non-intimates prying for emotion. I am tired of people today. I want solitude with my dogs. I want to not talk for a week. Today I am tired.

Belle -

Thank you SO much for the article on Aspie college prep courses! The Life Skills class at Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Hospital in Staunton, VA is very similar. Bratboy had an introduction to the class in February when he did the 14 day eval. Since then, he has taken on doing his own laundry (for the most part - after 9700 reminders from Jess and I).

I may look into the two different programs mentioned in the article that you posted - always nice to have a backup plan!

on narrow focus of interests, i found -
 

beginning conversations about birds, bugs, or . . . .

THINGS BULLIES SAY ABOUT ASPIES

Rude

Rude

Aspies aren't being rude when we don't get what you are trying to say between the lines; we just don't read non-verbal communication very well



Insensitive

Insensitive

Aspies have a very hard time trying to pick up on the needs of others or to see things from someone else's perspective



Domineering

Domineering

I suppose it can seem that way when someone is pedantic by nature and not picking up on subtle social signals; but the intent is not to be domineering



Pedantic

Pedantic

Yes, guilty, Aspies are pedantic; our brains are hard-wired that way, that's why we make such good scientists and IT's



Inconsiderate

Inconsiderate

Aspies have a very hard time trying to pick up on the needs of others or to see things from someone else's perspective unless it is spoken



Talks too loud

Talks too loud or too soft, or with a monotonous voice

It is common for Aspies to have odd prosody of speech, typically too loud or too soft



Talks too much / won't let anyone else get a word in

Can't shut them up

Aspies typically lack the receptors for non-verbal social signals



Ignores body language

Shocking at non-verbal communication

Aspies typically lack the receptors for non-verbal social signals



Says and does inappropriate things

Says and does inappropriate things

Aspies have difficulty in judging the appropriateness of different behaviours in different social situations



Won't consider someone else's opinion

Selfish, narrow minded

An unfortunate symptom of Asperger's is that we do not react well to change; this makes it hard to instinctively "get" others' opinions without being spelled out



Only wants to talk about jellyfish i just posted on jellyfish. haha

Only wants to talk about their special interest

One of the key features of Asperger's and other Autism disorders is for sufferers to have an obsessional special interest

Anti-social

Anti-social

Aspies are reknowned for being uncomfortable in social situations, preferring reading, writing, computing, or other 'anti-social' activities



Off in my own world

Head in the Clouds

Yes, I suppose Aspies are that way



and some kind of case here:

http://launcestoncityscandal.com/discrimination.html

i have not read through the entire thing. i'm thinking in the work space i've not [that i'm aware of] experienced too much bullying. maybe a couple instances of 'sabotage.' once, while teaching at the humane society, there was someone who wanted my job but refused to assist me whenever invited, or make an effort to learn the ropes on her own. she hid some of my paperwork, destroyed some things, and refused to let people know about what i was there to do, i found out later. my time spent at the HS in those days, was for the shelter animals. was that a form of bullying?


the positions that i've held doing my own thing, seem to be the ideal situation for me. like right now, i do see people, of course, and must have interaction; it's just not upsetting The Job iam/we are there to perform, nor am i having to stress over sensory issues.

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;335431]
Belle,

Did you ever experience the situation where people set you up to fail at work?



yes! six months into 2005, a situation arose with my being on a board. i was asked at my address, then later nominated for the position, and i thought of many positive ideas for involving this communiy with its residents and small town. what i did not know, and could not have conceived of, andrew, was that the majority of board members wanted me to discourage a woman from attending functions by eliminating her in the process of voting, volunteerism, common day-to-day issues, et c. people saw her as 'weak' and could not 'see' her disability. they were very cruel and expected that i would support them because they did, after all, 'want me' as their 'leader.' what they failed to see in setting me up for failure, was that i am not a weak person. witnessing the preying on people viewed as weak freaked me out and i could hardly believe my eyes, but it happened. i was used, and did maintain my post for a year, but with new supporters :)

i posted on this before. the woman had been bullied right off of riding a bus to get her groceries, and it did take me some time to straighten that out with the transportation supervisor, because she had 'bought into' the horrible stories herself about someone she had never even met.

Yes, I have had it happen to me as well. I have always experienced the negative & rejecting side of society. I think that is why I would much rather be around animals and just people watch. What is inside just never comes out right or comes out backwards or people look at me like I have 3 heads. Even when I did my activist work for trans-folks. The medical community here in Balto. sucks if you ask me.

This looks interesting http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781849058261

I'm going to order that one. Thanks.

There's another good book specifically about girls on the spectrum called [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Umbrella-Autism-Spectrum-Disorders/dp/1931282471/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1304984459&sr=1-1"]Girls Under the Umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorders[/ame] that I highly recommend.

He seems to be beginning to understand that actions or the lack thereof have consequences.

Six months ago I would have been asked to explain "WHYYYYYYYYY?" 58 times..... he was going to lose his internet privileges for not doing his chores ( clean his filthy room..LOL).

Today, we come home from school. He asked when he would get his web back and I quietly answered when he tidied his room and he started a load of laundry. No questions. In 15 minutes he brought his dishes downstairs and began a load of clothes. He got web back and later I will remind him to come put clothes in dryer. Trick is to remind early enough to still have internet bargaining time left. LOL.

In trying to prepare him for life in the world beyond the cloister of home and school, we are trying desperately at times, to instill in him the notions of social and personal responsibility. It has been an interesting journey for all of us.

love jessica kingsley publishers! rudy simone:


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wo...spergirls.html

andrew, i am familiar with auditory processing delay. here are some links for a bit of understanding about the problems caused with auditory processing delay in adults/children:

http://qw88nb88.wordpress.com/living...sing-disorder/

i love the section on bugs! :0}


http://www.actg.org/programs/auditor...processing.htm


i stumbled upon this in some of my research work [some of you know that's what i do intermittently work-wise for an author/attorney.]


http://www.portfolio.com/news-market...Cyber-Bullying


got a kick out of this question on a law forum- "assuming you are non-aspie!" HA!
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?..._id=2#18011945

Hello :) Just popping in to see if anyone was about.

Hello :)
It's been awhile. I hope all is well with everyone.

Thank you hon, it's nice to be back :)

*pops in*
 

Hello everyone. I can't believe I missed this thread! Wait, yes I can. I always miss the obvious. lol!

I'm a self-diagnosed aspie since 2007. I stumbled upon the disorder from a combination of the way others reacted to me and Googling, "Why do I take everything literally?" one day out of sheer frustration.

Since then, it's been an amazing journey. Finding out I have Asperger's syndrome helped put the puzzle pieces of my life together. I don't have an official diagnosis and have not yet sought one. I'm a woman in my early 30s and from the research I've done, it seems it is very difficult to diagnose women older than 25 because of our unique ability to "parrot" appropriate social responses by watching and memorizing.

My symptoms:

• I take what is said to me literally
• I have a shuddering aversion to certain sounds/textures
• I have no sense of direction
• I get sensory overload so bad driving on highways I start to black out
• I don't read non-verbal cues well
• I am empathic/highly sensitive
• I can't stand change in my routine
• Others often misunderstand the intentions of my words/deeds
• I need lots of time to myself
• I have muscle twitches and tics
• I flap, stretch, and squeak (stims, I guess)

This isn't to say I can't function at all. I actually do quite well and have been doing well since I realized that I truly was wired differently. In 2008, I did a series of homeopathic remedies called "Brain Protocol" to treat another medical condition I'd struggled with for years. My homeopathic doctor believed I had developmental issues based on the medical condition I was experiencing because nothing else would treat it. However, I had no idea that this was also used and successfully to treat people on the autistic spectrum.

After the treatment, I found new connections had been turned "on" in my brain. Not only was the chronic medical condition clearing up (finally) but my brain was working differently. I was able to see "obvious" things that had never been obvious before. I was also able to successfully drive to a park and go hiking without getting lost (okay, I got lost in the woods once I got there but I found my way out). So this was amazing for me. I didn't venture out of the house much because of my complete lack of direction. I never could have hiked even well-blazed trails with a map because maps used to mean nothing to me.

So, the brain protocol helped but yes, I'm still an Aspie.

When I was a child, people terrified me. It seemed I was always being pulled out of my beautiful, safe imaginary world to be yelled at and told I was being rude of doing something wrong. I spent many years hysterically hyperventilating and explaining myself profusely when there would be misunderstandings between myself and my family. I'd swear to God I "didn't do it" when, in reality, perhaps I did but just didn't view the situation the same way and had more innocent intentions.

Being an Aspie can make communication very difficult. After nearly 3 years of being in a relationship with somebody with a severe mental illness, the two proved impossible to meld together. We loved each other but we were ultimately incompatible. I understand on all levels what it's like to have Asperger's and have certain people understand and others look at you like you just walked off the Mother ship. I've just been trying to tell myself not everybody needs to understand me and if they don't, it's best I walk away. I'm extremely emotionally sensitive and susceptible to being abused and mistreated, not because I'm a victim but because I take everything so literally and have trouble accurately interpreting the intentions of others. Also, some people, it seems especially those who've been deeply traumatized themselves, mistake my social ignorance for purposeful cruel intent, which is the exact antithesis of who I am. I can't be in any type of relationship where I have to explain myself, sometimes hysterically, for months and even years. There has to be a cut-off point where it's like, "Okay, if you don't believe me, I am not safe with you and must move on."

I've learned trusting my God-given empathic abilities is my best bet in avoiding future emotional devastation. Though I cannot read social cues well, I am usually spot on with what I sense energetically from another.

Thank you for this thread!

I hope we can keep the dialogue going.

Hi, Girl on Fire, welcome! I'm glad you've found ways to understand yourself.

Congrats on the hike, and getting yourself unlost! My sense of direction is so bad. I'm never sure I can get unlost... I have gotten lost before just walking from work to home when it was only four blocks and I had done it for a year already!! So I'm pretty impressed that you got unlost in the woods.

I can read maps just fine, but I never seem to get them pointed in the right direction. "North" seems to default to wherever I'm facing at the moment; I tell people I'm directionally dyslexic. My first partner used to laugh and say that I'm just "upside down and going in the opposite direction in a parallel universe." She doesn't seem to have been far wrong. *wry laugh*

Yes!! That's the way I read maps too. Where I'm facing is "North" to me, even though I know that's not true.

I also have the staring thing. I need to stare off into space to deal with sensory overload at least 5 times a day. I may not do it for long but it's how I "rest" in between "takes" of life. My ex didn't understand this for a very long time. I'd just power down and hy'd ask what hy'd done wrong or what my problem was and I was like, "I'm resting. This is how I rest." And I'd keep starting blankly with my mouth slightly open. I know what's going on around me most of the time, I just need to tune out a bit so I can keep going all day. I got sick of explaining all the time after we'd been together for years. Some people, I guess, simply cannot or will not accept neurodiverse people.