I am so QUEER!
 

QUEER
   /kwɪər/ Show Spelled [kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun
–adjective
1.
strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.

2.of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3.not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4.mentally unbalanced or deranged.
5.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive .
a.homosexual.
b.effeminate; unmanly.
6.Slang . bad, worthless, or counterfeit.
–verb (used with object)
7.to spoil; ruin.
8.to put (a person) in a hopeless or disadvantageous situation as to success, favor, etc.
9.to jeopardize.
–noun
10.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive . a homosexual, especially a male homosexual.
11.Slang . counterfeit money.
—Idiom
12.queer the pitch, British Informal . to spoil the chances of success.
Use queer in a Sentence
See images of queer
Search queer on the Web
Origin:
1500–10; perhaps < German quer oblique, cross, adverse

—Related forms
queer·ly, adverb
queer·ness, noun

—Synonyms
1. unconventional, curious, freakish, eccentric, weird. See strange.

—Antonyms
1. ordinary.

:king:When I claimed the identity/label of queer several years ago I did it because of definition #1. I am not conventional and my viewpoint, especially as far as my sexuality goes varies from the norm. By norm, I mean in both the straight world and the homosexual world. I also chose it because of it's synonyms, which all describe me, and because of it's antonym, "ordinary", which is something I have never wanted to be. As far back as my memory goes I have been working to be anything but ordinary. I feel I've been successful in that endeavor.

All the other definitions of queer pertain to me in some way if I'm being honest, and depending on who you ask. I don't consider myself shady, and try to be just the opposite. I do however, feel I am born from a questionable nature. I am the big rainbow phoenix that has dared to rise up from the dysfunctional ashes of my childhood.

I am not physically right. I don't fit into societal norm of what beauty is. I am a queer fat femme-ish deviant. I may have a big ass, but honey, I have a big heart, and a big laugh, and I can rock my husband's world. It has taken me so many years to see my beauty, and to own it. I always thought if I loved myself as fat, then I would never lose weight. Self acceptance doesn't equal complacency. I still would like to lose some weight and be healthier. That is all that will happen to me though. I will be healthier. I will not be any more beautiful or more attractive to my husband.

"Mentally Unbalanced"... again, if I'm being honest, actually, if we're all being honest, aren't we all just a little? I know I certainly have my days.

"Disparaging"?? Ohferfuckssake! Of course I am disparaging. If you don't love the word fuck, if your tongue doesn't tingle the word fuck rolls off the tip of it, if you're ears don't perk when you hear spoken, then you probably won't enjoy my company.

"Homosexual" Well, I am not a lesbian. I am married to a man. Right? However, I am married to a transsexual man. I could never, and would never be married to a biological man again. I was though for 13 years. I was then in a relationship with a woman for two. Then I found my soul mate, who as fate would have it, was a transman. I am married to man, so I must be straight then. Right? Wrong!! I am far from straight. Ask any of the friendly dancers at our favorite strip club how much I love a good lap dance. Ask my husband how "not straight" I am.


As far as the last two, I may be effeminate, but that's a good thing, and I am certainly not worthless, and I'm not sure why that is even under the definition of queer. I think someone needs to rewrite that shit.

For me, being queer isn't just my label, it's my identity. It's my total package wrapped up in a big rainbow flag. To me it is a powerful word. Nobody could ever use it against me in a negative way because I love it too much.

So if you ID as Queer like I do, I'd love to hear from you. I searched the forums and didn't find any threads about this. So I hope I'm not stepping on any toes by starting this. I just thought we needed a place to have some big queer conversations about big queer issues or whatnot.

This is probably my longest post ever.
/post

Well I don't love it as much as you do, but queer is a good choice for me as well. I internally also identify as lesbian, but the life I live after 25 years of marriage to an FTM man is straight. After his death I spent three years trying to see if I could "stand" to be with a straight man - for my kids sake. Some of them (straight men) are fairly nice, but the thought of having sex with one kinda gagged me (so I never did.)

On impulse one night, I did a computer search for my peeps - the B-F community, and ended up first at the dash site and then here. While I have taken many small steps out of the closet I was in for many years, I still spend most of my life there because I still haven't talked to my kids about myself. But good news ... I'm no longer feeling like I might gag, LOL. Call me queer.

Smooches,
Keri

my granny started calling me queer (she pronounced it "quaar") when i was pretty young. Even back then, i kinda liked the label.

:hippie:

I identify as Dyke (right now)...lol...but wanted to say I love your post and thoughts on the subject!

http://images0.cpcache.com/product/3...x480_Front.jpg


Present.

i never claimed queer...queer claimed me!!!
i was born this way!!!
:mohawk:

rlin
I must say i love the "big ol homo" thing too. I'd love to be there to see you use it.
Smooches,
Keri

Queer here!
Can't explain me to myself let alone to you.
What a joyous rollercoaster ride it's been. :;)

Queer is pretty much the only existing word I know of that comes close to describing my sexual orientation, lol. I've never been a lesbian (though I've always loved women :D), but for some time I thought maybe I was some kind of heterosexual (since I am a guy that likes women). But that doesn't make sense to me. Even though I'm a guy who likes girls I don't feel that term fits me. I could see that fitting if I was into strictly dating straight girls like some transguys and male ids do, but considering that my preference is for queer femmes or femmes somewhere in the LGBT (or...I guess...LBT...Q? Technically? lol) spectrum...hetero doesn't make sense.

Plus, who the hell is even properly heterosexual anymore? j/k :p

Good luck with your interview.

When I use the word "Queer" to describe myself it's more about solidarity with the rest of the non-straights than it is about my actual orientation. There's a lot of crossover for the LGBTIQ communities (whether some people want to admit it or not) in terms of experiences, struggle, culture, and outside perception - so it's important to me that that gets recognised.

Since Queer is a word that both means nothing and everything at the exact same time - it's the one that I took on for myself.

Queer femme fits me best. Lesbian, gay or just femme does not adequately describe me though I would be fine if anyone applied those labels to me. Queer encompasses the whole of me.

I've had a lot of conversations about this, as being a lesbian with a boyfriend causes a few raised eyebrows y'know..

I don't ID as queer, though I assume I will one day.. it wasn't relevant in my former lesbian life. I am aware that Queer has a lot of history and value, probably as much as lesbian, and it would also be an umbrella my bf would be happy to stand under with me.

One day I will make the switch, much like that fateful day when I decided I didn't need chocolate any more and began eating dried fruit instead.

I love queer. Queer is the only word that works for my sexuality, precisely because it's so murky.

I used to consider myself straight. I think I was about 15 when I started considering the possibility I could be bicurious and for years hovered between describing myself as straight, bisexual or bicurious. I made huge announcmeents I'd retract later. I just had a nagging sense I had the possibility in me to be with a woman, despite the fact I loved boys. I obsessed over boys all the time and dated/slept with them exclusively. When I came to uni signed up to the lgbt society thinking it might help me somehow... but did nothing with that except get a card for cheap entry to gay clubs, then unrelated to this I made friends with a bunch of mostly gay men and became a fag hag going to gay clubs to dance in what i felt was a friendlier environment than most straight clubs. I pretty much ignored the lesbians. I don't know why. The lesbian world was just this giant impenetrable fortress to me and I had a bunch of misconceptions, and besides I hung out with the gay guys as a 'straight' friend. I tried to kiss a girl once, but I just failed miserably and gave up. Despite being on the surface straight I had a huge inexplicable obsession with gay places, people and related media.

A bunch of ins and outs later, I finally figured out I was actually trans* and came out last year. As I began to explore my gender my attractions, sexuality and the words I used to describe it got more and more swirly until there was only one word that fit right - queer. For a mixture of reasons I've finally came across the queer crowd. Queer to me is part of the gay community, but also seperate. It's more radicalised. More accepting. I used to find the gay spaces friendly but now I consider myself trans and sexually queer, now i'm outside of the binary it feels controlling and less safe. To be fair... it's not always bad, and mostly better than straight spaces. I find the best places are those where there are a mix of liberal queers and liberal queer-friendly sorts. I think trans* is a huge part of what seperates queer from gay, along with bi/omni/pan sexualities and the ever-cliched 'open mind'.

Queer is fierce. Queer says fuck, no I won't. Queer says we are the underdogs and proud. Queer says I'll do what I want but not at the expense of fucking over my neighbours. Queer means my current preference is not girls or boys but bois.

It also means half my friends are vegans so I get the bacon all to myself. :danglecarrot:

This was a really long life story.

I am learning to like queer. I started as a lesbian but wasn't happy with the word. Mostly because at that point I was too scared to say but I'm a guy. Then I evolved to straight. But now I am realizing that I like femininity not the sex attached so queer works.

Thank you Captain Franki for your wonderful candid reply. I loved it. And I felt it. And I bet it has been a really long life story.

Kriket

I. Love. This. Post. Seriously. My very favorite part, though they were many, is the bit I plucked out and quoted above. I've had an off day today, and that really made me feel better. I read it and smiled because it spoke to me, even though my story is a bit different. I work hard to believe that those who find me beautiful find that in me because of who I am -- all of me, even the bits Cosmo tells me I should hide.

Thank you. :)

I'm glad you liked it! :heartbeat: I get carried away when I'm writing.

Hmm
 

Somehow I never viewed myself as a lesbian. I also date masculine butch, trans, FTM's. Being queer to me is being myself. I don't fit into any other label. I can date who/whatever I want and still feel like myself. That in itself, is golden.

Yep, another queer here too. I've often wondered, though, if using that label hurts my chances for finding partners. I don't have any real proof, but it's just something I think about.

+1 Queer!

What an awesome thread.
I have only ever had relationships with females in the past, but I have never been able to comfortably call myself a soft butch lesbian. Queer is much more fitting and simple. ^5 to you all!

Glad for this thread
 

So glad to read about other queer femmes who partner with masc i.d. gender queers and don't relate to the L Word. Love my femme sisters as mutual appreciation, not romantically.