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What attracts you to Ftms ......
This is open to all ! What is it that attracts you to Ftms or Mtf and if there are some turn offs as well . Why you would or wouldn't consider dating or being in a relationship with etc ... Looking forward to reading your thoughts :) |
... there cute.... hehe.. ok all kiding aside...... im more of well personality, character and who they are as a person.... not whats in the pants so to speak.... yes I would date someone that is ftm/TG :o |
Billy, FTM's are men. in my book. I am occasionally attracted to men, so I am occasionally attracted to an FTM. That is quite different for me, than my attraction to Butches, or my attraction to women, which tends to be Butches.. and much more all encompassing, which is to say I am way too often attracted to people I don't necessarily like or wish to partner with. :)
Make any sense? I have occasionally dated an FTM, post transition, and found it ..difficult, but .. for the right fit, I wouldn't say I would never do that again. But t hen I admit I find the idea of dating anyone, a tad moot :) |
Thanks Merrick and Morning star :)
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My ftms
I am on youtube and I know quite a few ftms through that one cause they have all documented their transistion (sp?). But most I know....I know their personality. And to be honest, I am attracted to bio males but I would never be in a relationship with them. However, which is something I dont get it...but I love who I love. I am a person...and I am very attracted to ftms and I have dated an ftm once. It was during their transition phase though. Overall though, its personality through and through. :)
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I've dated an FTM and it didn't work for (at least) one very important reason....he wanted no connection to his previous life or community. So, for me to consider dating an FTM, he'd have to want to remain a part of....or at least acknowledge....the community that I am (and will continue to be) a part of and connected to. Oh, and looks don't hurt either. *grin* Turn offs are pretty much the same across the gender and/or sexuality board for me....not being kind to small children, elderly women crossing the road and waitstaff will not earn anyone any cookies from me. Basically, take pride in your appearance and self and try to be the best person you can be (aka not being a douche bag, which we all are very capable of being) and understand that I will be trying to do the same and, on different days, we will have different success rates. |
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I was just saying the other day , I am not sorry that I was born female .If I had been born male I would have missed out on meeting and dating some awesome people :) I would not be able to take part in things like the Prom coming up in Aug ...So I try to stay connected to the community ...I don't ever want Me to change the way someone Id's :) |
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Our own identities are fine. But when it crosses that line and forces your partner to change theirs to conform or to keep you, then that's just not right. I agree; our community has some awesome folks! |
I guess I would have to say that I am first attracted to Someone's personality first....their spirit...their soul....and oh, look!....He's an FtM.....ok then.
I appreciate the male energy, to be certain (and other things <smile> ), but I also appreciate the two~spirited guy....something with which bio males don't seem to be blessed. Did that make sense? |
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In anyone, of any sex or gender, I suppose I’m attracted to depth and complexity and the strength of character to be true to oneself and one’s ideals, even when it’s hard.
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I have dated bio men and they fell flat on the sustained-attraction meter. I might have liked the way they looked but as soon as they opened their mouths or I took them out in public, the meter jumped way over to "unappealing". I am fiercely not attracted to bio men in general.
But I am attracted to FtMs. I like how Diva said its the 2 spirit thing. I know (which is different than merely believing) that FtMs are men from the get go regardless of what their undies held in. Going thru life as a male in a female body creates an incredible journey thru life. They pick up all the social nuances females are given, and while they dont claim them as their own, they are acutely aware of them in the women in their lives.I know when their eyes are on me, they see within me, not just the outside. When they draw me in sexually, they know what I am experiencing. Not because they experienced it...but because they Know about "it"..that which makes me a woman. Bio men dont have that glimpse into the femmes soul. I also like to date FtMs because they have had to work hard at who they are. They are warriors on the inside. They are committed to themselves. I cant tell you how appalling it is to get asked out by a creepy crawler..you know the kind...the ones who lay on the basement couch watching jerry springer and eating orange food (cheese whiz and cheetos) ...creepy crawlers are almost always bio men gone bad. Not all bio men are bad. But there are enough of them to limit their dating pool to like 1%. FtMs, however, are their own knights in shining armours. They have battled the culture, their family, their religions, the LGBT world, their partners, their job related people and the neighbors next door. You have to admire the hell out of them on this alone. And I like dating FtMs because of the magic. Alchemy. Changing something entirely to create something else. And because they work so hard on it, damn they sure look good! I dont want to single anyone out but yeah, I will. Bo is a prime example of what I am talking about. I have watched from afar his transition and I got to tell you, he is a handsome man...incredibly handsome man. Some woman is going to be very lucky to get him as a partner. He is invested in himself without the narcissitic privelaged personality bio men culturally inherit. I have dated a few FtMs. And I would again. I have dated some butches who really wanted to transition but felt unable to. How sad for them....I still hope they will someday. One other thing about dating an FtM...the ones I have dated were very schooled in dating ettiquette. I had my doors opened for me, flowers sent, lovely little suprises left for me, good nite phone calls where they sung me to sleep....it was magical because they were such good daters! They knew how to be the gentleman to my gentle lady that I am... |
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i also ......... really like the way . Diva put it.. |
Gday everyone,
Well im FTM for 2 years and 5 months now, yes i have so much energy and really need soulmate as for me i dont mind what woman wants as long she is happy who she is to be with, some here are very brave to date with FTM becuase FTM are the same it doesnt means that grown PENIS they are wrong cause of lack of understand or dont have much informations about those FTM, u know i began wonder why most Lesbian (i mean community) is more welcome to MTF something that i dont get it why most lesbian dont want to be with FTM, this is really frustrate me mostly and annoyed thought oh well their loss it not my problem. :violin: |
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Well, YEAH...but that kind of goes without saying....we are talking about THE Diva here...lol :tease: |
i'm attracted to masculinity, which i think is hormonal, before T i was mainly into fairly femme girls i guess
i still appreciate an attractive woman in all forms but it's not the same as wanting to be with her. i've spent most of my adult life avoiding women because every woman i have found remotely attractive has been a lesbians so there would be no hope for me. i think initially, i am no more attracted to a guy who's ftm than i am a bio guy, physically i tend to work with whatever is put in front of me if i like the person, but i think somehow there is more potential for a stronger emotional bond when i am with another transman. i wouldn't say all transguys are more tender and loving but there is a very high percentage that seem to be highly tender and intimate lovers, from my experience and what i hear from others i hope i made sense |
It's a very interesting question, one that seems to have as many answers as people answering it. I've take to identifying as bi, not because I like manly men and girly girls, but because I love the sensitive, intellectual breed of masculinity that technically straddles the gender divide. For me, FTMs are the ultimate embodiment of this. There is an intentionality that is a fundamental part of being FTM that is beyond hot :drool:
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in some ways i feel that this has put me at a disadvantage, i know very little of women in general and especially the lesbian community which everyone expects me to be able to connect with. i still live with an ex gf who is trans, won't be going there again, i thought transmen had issues lol, i love her to bits but she's only my friend and the most annoying wench i have ever met. i fell deeply in love with men after i met her, which i feel badly about but you cant help how you feel, she's pretty much looking for relationships with women anyway. Should i be worried that i now find myself wanting to connect with women and especially not ignore the fact that i am definately attracting to some of them? |
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For the record, the community I was speaking of is the GLBT3QI community as a whole. I don't identify as a lesbian. :) That being said, I can appreciate where you are coming from. I don't think you should be worried, per se, about who you are attracted to. If someone is attracted to you and you not to her or him, let them know as you would liked to be told. There's nothing wrong with being or not being attracted to someone. You can't help that. You can, however, help how you deal with the situation. Be kind. Be honest. |
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I know several trans men once they started to transition they found themselves attracted to other men ..Nothing wrong with that ..I Myself at times have found that also , but I prefer woman :) You don't have to be attracted to every woman you meet , nor do you have to be attracted to every man ...Perhaps it's just the person themselves :) |
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the first transman I dated had been bi before his transition and remained bi after his transition.
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You know, it's funny. For years I've been wondering what was wrong with me, even wondered if I was straight for a while, even though I couldn't find any bio-male that I was attracted to. Then I learned about the trans-guy. I felt like Cinderella when she put had the glass slipper put on her foot. Like I'd been living in a dream world all my life, and I had suddenly awoke to a bright, beautiful morning! The duality is perfect. The masculinity is breathtaking. There is a sense of self that no one could have without that kind of experience. I honor every trans that has the courage to live their life according to their true nature. My dreams now include someday meeting that special one that can appreciate me as much as I appreciate him, and can accept my uniqueness as I revel in his. "Butch" is not what I'm made for. I've come to realize this. Everyone has that special someone out there. I realize now, after all these years, I've finally figured out which direction I need to be taking. Cheers to all of you, and thank God you're out there!!!! And, fear not, there are those of us trying as hard as you to figure out how to meet you!!!
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The first T-girl (her defn) I dated was gay before she transitioned and became bi after becoming a woman... |
Am I the only person who is bothered by stereotypical generalizations about (oppressed) groups of people? Even if those stereotypical generalizations are *supposed to be* compliments?
Black men have big dicks Jewish men are good with money Mexican men are just so romantic and Don Juanish Transmen are just so sensitive and 'in touch' When I hear these kinds of stereotypical generalizations about transmen, I just HAVE to wonder how many transmen some folks meet off of this site and in the real world Which then leads me to wonder how folks knew they were being hit on by a cisguy (in reference to the creepy crawler comment by Softness) and not a transguy. I also don't understand what someone's sexuality ("this transguy was bi, but then went straight" or "That transguy was straight and then fucked men after T") has to do with the price of rice I'm Sure I'll Be Filleted For All Of This...But...Eh, Dylan...NOT more 'in tune' than anyone else when it comes to the wants/needs/desires of women |
Hmmm.. what attracts me to transguys? (Yesss.. I'm a very BI transguy, lol)
Well, first of all, most of them *get* it.. The body image thing, the hormones, all of it.. I don't have to explain about any of that.. Notice, i said "most".. I had a hook up recently, a transguy that has been on hormones for years.. He kept telling me that he was straight and only dated females, but that I was soooo hot and how he'd wanted into my pants for months.. We get to doing the ditty and he keeps telling me how straight he is and wants to play with my "titties" and "pussy".. lol.. Yeah, dude was confused.. On a side note, didn't let that lil guy sleep until i was well and done. LOL My point with that story? Not all transguys are these wonderfully evolved beings that have every quality that anyone could want because they lived both sides of the fence. It just doesn't happen that way. All people are people, no matter if they are Mr transgender avenger or Ms ignorant polly in buttitch, nc.. I got side tracked, didn't I? Dear dear.. ok, so, what makes me hot for transguys *grins* Hair.. Love body and face hair.. The smell.. Love that *man* smell.. Most transguys that I continue to have relations with know how to treat my cock and my man cunt.. did I mention body hair? Ohhhh yeah! So, that is my very "gay" in put on this subject :D -Tony, who was also sneezed on and farted on by that a for mentioned straight transman.. No shit.. it's true! lmao (worst hook up.. EVER) PS- the sneezing and farting? TOTALLY non consentual :( awww.. |
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I see the offense in generalizations. But I also see that stereotypes exist for a reason; a specific pattern of behavior has been observed and documented. Stereotypes are there because so many people of one particular sex/color/creed/etc have behaved in a particular way often. This exists for all of us, whether or not we're part of an oppressed group. That doesn't make it right for folks to access a particular group based strictly on things they've "heard", of course. I just wonder if there is an acceptable middle ground somewhere or if there are going to be many of us who are always up in arms about every generalization for every group. That would be extremely exhausting to me. Just my .02 on a day when I'm actually pretty calm. Tomorrow may change though.... |
I know this is unpopular opinion, and it's really none of my business who other people date...but it strikes me as icky when someone will date an FTM but not a non-trans man. Like, TO ME, that insinuates that they don't fully acknowledge their lovers sex/gender.
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I get what you mean, thanks for putting into words. |
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Well, and this whole, "two spirit" idea. Again, it just reeks of people who have only met transmen from/thru these sites. Many of the transguys I know in real time don't affiliate with the queer community, and I challenge anyone to find them 'more in tune', color them a man-woman, or even KNOW they were trans. Seriously, how in the hell does One know if they're being hit on by a transguy or a cisguy? I'm trans, and I have no idea half the guys I meet are trans until they say something about it...and that's in TRANS space. And no, I don't believe generalizations and stereotypes necessarily occur just because a bunch of people 'really do act like that'. I think people see what they want to see and toss out the rest. And honestly, whether a stereotype is true in one instance or two instances, it doesn't then make it 'ok' to say it somewhere (like "Jews really ARE good with money"). I mean, seriously. I just can't imagine another group of people we'd be dissecting like this without someone from that group being up in arms. "Oh, well, I dated a black guy once, and his dick was sooooooooo big...it's really true...hehehe, sometimes, the stereotypes are really true...p.s. he also liked grape soda...YAYYYYYYYYY Black Men!!!!!" WTF? Or, "Transmen date well" Really? WTF is that? Or, "Oh, well, I see transmen as just the perfect mix between male and female?" Really? What the fuck is that? "It's like all the best parts of a man, with all of the sensitivity of a woman". Some men are sensitive, some men are assholes. If you like sensitive men, then like sensitive men...but don't lump all transmen into some (dis)illusional picture you've created, because you know a few who act like that...while you then assume every realtime (creepy) guy who hits on you is cis. I mean, come on...it's kind of gross Dylan...LOVES grape soda |
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From my own personal experience, I've only seriously dated a couple of Trans guys. One remained connected to the community and one was repulsed by it. So I may not have some of the perceptions that others have since I've seen guys who do and do not fit the stereotypes that you are addressing. Food for thought.... Gemme...who also loves grape soda |
I personally am not the slightest bit surprised that a queer femme would have a preference for someone associated with her queer community (which wouldn't be the same as the gay male community that a bisexual man would tend to be a part of).
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basically what Diva and Softness said about 2 spirit only it's more like a third sex thing for me. I'm attracted to masculine energy. This can be ftm, trans, butch... doesnt matter to me how they ID, if I feel it I know it and its all about chemistry. To be honest I've dated a few people that were like this, 3rd sex, very masculine but didn't consider themselves anything and I really like this.
I would be attracted to a transguy as long as he didnt emulate a biomale. It would be way too hard for me to explain this but if you're there you know what I mean. But the bottom line is I don't care. If we connect we connect. |
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