A Community Request
 

Hello all,

I wanted to take a minute to talk a little bit about the growth of our site and how you as a community member can help keep ThePlanet a warm and welcoming place.

We have a LOT of new members lately. Many of these new members are ALSO new to the Butch/Femme dynamic and many of them have never been a member of any kind of social internet community. Some of the new folks are trying to figure out if this community will fit their needs, how they identify, and where their desires are leading them.

I want to ask each of you to please understand that with the introduction of so many new folks on our website, that you might need to take some extra time to help a newbie understand what some of our terminology means or how to better navigate the myriad of ways that we all identify. Please be extra patient with folks who might be at the very beginning of their journey and try to remember where you were and how you felt when you were brand new to your identity or to the online world.

I also want to request that you take the time to *ask for and provide clarification* in conversations where someone may have inadvertently used an incorrect identifier for you or someone else or made an unglamorous or clumsy statement. Please stop and ask yourself if it is possible that the person might merely be new or if they might not yet have familiararity with your personal way of being.

Many of us have known each other online for 5 or even 10 years. Some of us for 12 or longer! I think that sometimes we forget that ThePlanet is bigger than our personal bubble of experience. That we need to embrace people who come to this community in search of family, friends, or fuckbuddies. That we need to welcome the diversity of new ideas, new experiences, and even new ways of identifying within the Butch/Femme dynamic and Trans communities.

There are a great number of younger people joining this site and even people from many different countries. We can learn just as much from them as they can learn from us and I hope that we all will remember that as the weeks and months spread out before us.

When Jack and I decided to go ahead and do this damn thing and started gathering people and ideas, we never imagined that ThePlanet would actually work as well as it is working. We never imagined that almost 10 month later we would have 1300 members, be getting ready for a Reunion, and be looking at a long and bright future.

This community is such an important space, not because we built it, but because all of YOU built it. I am amazed every day when I wake up and see another 10 members have come and joined this space. I am amazed when I see people reaching out across fences to connect. I am amazed that we are actually doing this. Together.

Im not asking you to be all woo-woo or make glittery kittens shoot from your nether-regions. I am asking you to remember the love. Remember how you felt or would have felt the first time someone said to you, "Hey, you're ok just the way you are!" or "Hey! I get it!"

Please join me in helping keep ThePlanet a healthy and welcoming space for everyone who is already here as well as those who find their way here. I beleive we have the most amazing community here and believe that we have the ability to affect change right here every day. So let's do that!

Thank you.
Admin

drive-by one liner, 'cause you like them soo much
 

i suspect you are a glittery kitten shot from some nether region or another...

Yeayyy! Thank you for being so cool Admins!

I really like this post and these thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to post them.. I will always try to see things from the other side, hopefully, others will extend the same kindness to me.

Thank you again and I'm behind this thread, 100%.

Tony, who has had glitter shoot from nether regions, but never kittens..

my sister has some kittens, if'n you're needing one or two.

Timely, good post, Admins. And I thank you for recognizing the noise going on here from time to time that is unhealthy/detrimental the overall good and sustainability of an (this) online community.

When people feel they must preface and/or end their posts with caveats in order to protect themselves from what they certainly must feel is an imminent attack, well...that's not good. It happens too often here that folks feel the need to put on their armor (or worse, apologize in advance) in order to express a benign, personal opinion. Or, they just stop posting in the "meatier" threads...

Here's to thinking of others...for you never know the battle they might be fighting.

Thanks so much for this thread.
Since Tony already said something about nether regions in pubic, I will forego making a similar comment and risk getting into some type of difficulty. But, just thanks for some stuff to think about and mull over. Always learning here.

awww.. Thank you! But I have to be honest, not sure I'd want that.. Kittens have those friggin wicked needle claws.. Not fun on the way out, even with lots of glitter to lubercate.. And they wiggle.. and pounce.. hmmm

Awww man!!

but...(or butt) i hear the wiggling is a good thing. :)

tell ya what, take a pair of them and they'll keep each other busy while we find something less scratchy for you.


ever helpful,

wil

wil, sounds like a plan to me!

tony says they're not.

Ouch. :blink:

Let's hope for no breachies, yes?

You, missy, are not being helpful. :eyebrow:

Thank you for posting this. Pup and I have had a very similar discussion on more than one occasion. I think we have all seen the negative result of someone new to this site (or any other similar site) or the dynamic (and sometimes someone not so new that is trying to understand a component of our community that they may not have really considered before), use the wrong identifier and get blasted for it; or say something that seems ID insensitive, and get blasted for it and/or labeled as intolerant of this or that and discounted from that moment forward. It's not pretty, it's not very fair and it can be quite divisive. I for one don't like or want to see the division of our community along such a boundary. In my opinion, the collective "we" are already a microcosm within a microcosm. As such, good debate is healthy; division is not.

I really do appreciate the stance, wisdom and tolerance of the admins and most of the community here in their desire to create a positive space in which everyone should feel welcome to a space that provides us with a place to play, learn, share, debate and best of all, connect with our community; our online family that we often have the luxury of meeting in person along the way. Every single one of us is at a different point in our own personal journey and knowledge, and that often is reflected in what we say, how we say it; what we view as humorous or distasteful. Tolerance and understanding cannot be forced. Many of us have seen the result of that premise. It must instead be nurtured through dialogue, information exchange and patience. Many thanks for reminding us all to engage our brains and our hearts before engaging our keyboards.

Didn't want to get on a soapbox, but hey, it's 3:30 in the morning and this thread certainly hit on a point that I feel pretty strongly about but never took the time to vocalize. Thanks for the prompt, thanks for the space and thank you for the reminder to us all to help keep this place healthy across the board!

Glynn

I love the "personal bubble"

A couple of years ago, June and I were talking about friendships and she said "friend bubble". It made SO much sense to me!

What got me thinking is how we all come from our own life experiences and then from all kinds of different communities...some of us know each other from more than one and each has their own dynamic. I think it is easy for those environments to bleed into each other... and although it can be great when they collide, I think it is also important to remember the different energies... "bubbles"

June - please explain better :blink:

I am so glad that you get it ... :|

We might could use some of them there aura fluffers :sock:
:cigar2:

it's only scarey the first time

you crack me up.

I wouldn't even know what a fluffer is if I hadn't seen that documentary about anabelle chong. I wonder how one goes about becoming a professional fluffer. Like, is it a job you just fall into, or is it more of a chosen career path? I would totally like to read a history of fluffers.

ok, I'll bite: what is a fluffer? a person who fluffs pillow? I dunno! maybe it's something on the new iPhone!

A fluffer is a sort of stage hand (or mouth) - for porn. A person whose job is to keep the actors from going soft between scenes (or while they are waiting their turn). At least that's my impression. :)

maybeee instead of warnings, posting offenders could be given a blank screen with
a Tony Orlando and Dawn medley to simmah them down with. I say a half hour on repeat just might do the trick. :cigar2:

OMG I had no idea.

And all this time I was imagining reheating (fluffing) the clothes in the dryer.

:blink:

I can assure you, they aren't stagehands but, you are right about what a fluffer's "job" is.

Yep. Gotta keep those boys upright and tight!

William Hung? That would cure me. :blink:

A couple years ago Eve used her apt as an analagy and it sort of stuck with me.. (I'm incredibly protective of my home space)

There are people who wait at the door while you grab your purse, there are people who come in a sit on the sofa, there are people who can get something from the fridge, and then there are the people who can lay on your bed...

With me... If you try to go from waiting at the door to sitting on my bed while I put my shoes on without doing th work.. Well, that's going to get you being met at the movies and not being even invited to my house..

For me.. it's all about stages and respecting someone's space...

Hey Planeteers!

I'm bumping this thread in anticipation of what might be a small influx of new signups. We have steadily seen anywhere from 5 - 15 new signups a day for a long time, with it being a strong average of 10 a day most of the time.
I just renewed an ad on Facebook with some vey specific targeted marketing toward Butches, Femmes, Genderqueers, and Transfolks who might not yet be members of the site. This might mean that we get several new people who are either new to the dynamic or new to having a "home" on a community forum.
I wanted to ask everyone to read the first post in this thread again as a reminder of how to greet newbies or help folks find their way who are new here. I trust that everyone here will be amazing!

Thanks!
me