![]() |
the Femme Rules the Butch Rules
ok so I have come across a set of rules of the Femmes out there but no rules for the Butches. So me and a friend were going to make a list of rules for the Butches - but we need some suggestions. To give you an idea - here is the list of Femme Rules:
The Femme Rules 1. The Femme always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No butch can possibly know all THE RULES. 4. If the Femme suspects the Butch knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES. 5. The Femme is never wrong. 6. If it appears the Femme is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Butch did or said. 7. If Rule 6 applies, the Butch must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. 8. The Femme can change her mind at any time without notice. 9. The Butch must never change her mind without the express written consent of The Femme. 10. The Femme has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The Butch must remain calm at all times, unless the Femme wants her to be angry or upset. 12. The Femme must not, under any circumstances, let the Butch know whether she wants her to be angry or upset. 13. The Butch is expected to read the mind of the Femme at all times and act or respond accordingly. 14. What is important is what the Femme meant, not what she said. 15. If the Butch doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because she can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp. 16. If the Femme has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Butch must cater to her every whim. 17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm. 18. If the Butch, at any time, believes she is right, she must refer to Rule 5. 19. The Butch must kill all bugs at any given time. 20. The Butch must "always be prepared"... we have 4 rules so far: 1. Make the Femme believe it is her idea 2. just grin and nod 3 if the Femme changes the rules - refer to rule number 2 4 no Butch likes to know all the rules we like the element of surprise I am sure you all have some good suggestions... :) |
Ruh Roh.
:seeingstars: |
Oh god here we go again.....
1. this is not funny 2. it has been posted before 3. it is just as offensive now as it was then 4. look out for the flame, it's gonna get hot in here. |
Grab the "Gold Bond"! Here comes a hide chapping!! :seeingstars:
|
Butch/Femme does not equal a parroting of heterosexuals. Butches are not our Men (except, you know, for the ones who are but that is besides the point)
This is sexist. It's also stupid. That's the only rule you need to know. |
I feel better about us as a community finding ways to encourage the togetherness and ways that we work well together rather than any of this blank-verses-blank stuff!
|
Quote:
So there is a thread on this site about Misogyny and Sexism in this community, my suggestion before someone bites your head off if you decide to post another ludicris thing like this happens is read it. Here is the link for the thread I hope it helps: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...exism+Mysogyny |
Hey Nerds,
I know you meant this to be funny and posted it in the humor section. I think you will find many people aren't amused by humor like this that often takes "man" out of the joke and inserts "Butch" or "Transguy" because it often creates this ugly thing where the Butch/Femme dynamic is just a dressing sheet that is thrown over a hetero relationship. It can feel negating to the actual lived experiences of many of us here and can also feel as if het relationships are being heralded as the "real" relationships while Queer relationships are just cheap knock-offs. I think you are new to the community so I hope this explanation helps you understand why people are reacting with irritation. Also keep in mind, many "jokes" like this have been posted over the last 12 years. Thanks! |
Quote:
If we look at the larger picture, we're just creating more fences between people, in general. To what end? |
Quote:
Um Nerd's post is am implication that Butch and Femme are a heteronormative carbon copy and we should be ok with someone making ha ha jokes about sexism towards femme's? Cause that is what those jokes are sayin' and doing Now I don't know about you but I do not like that kind of message shoved down my throat via comedy. |
Quote:
Actually, for me, I think that het relationships are "normalized" through the media and most of our political, religious, and social systems. I think that we can internally "know" that the paper dolls that the media and systems of power provide to us aren't fair and real but I do personally recognize the validity of the existence of "het norm". It is important to me in this community that we do rail against "othering". My response above was an attempt to do that :) |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Also, I thought I'd add that referring to heterosexuals as a collective in a way, imo, promotes boxing heterosexuals into one specific box. It doesn't recognise "them" as individuals. Again, just my take on it. |
Quote:
|
I guess this means that masculine and male identified butches and Transguys are exempt, huh?
Just when I had my butch just where I wanted him, a loop hole....:blink: |
Quote:
Nerds, welcome to the site. I don't agree with the humor either but the person registered in August 2010. Can we cut her some slack and still discuss the topic at the same time? |
So far I think we've all been rather subdued and accommodating in educating a new member... so what exactly is the topic now?
|
I don't understand your question Corkey.
|
Quote:
I am not so stupid that I don't understand that both of the below jokes are equally appalling: Why can't Femmes drive? Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom Why can't Women drive? Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom Both of those jokes are equally irritating to me, and I would personally drop down dead from shock if any of the other posters on this thread didn't ALSO find both jokes -equally- irritating. |
Quote:
Well first the topic was a joke that isn't and now you say there is a topic, I'd like to know just what the topic is please since you seem to know there is a topic. Now do you understand? ugh. |
No, I still don't understand, but I don't think you are asking me a question anyway so I really don't think it matters.
|
OFFS, no Bully I wasn't asking you anything.... what is the topic please, cause I'd really like to participate if there is actually a point to this thread.
|
Quote:
|
It is offensive because it is sexist, it is misogynistic, it is dull and sophomoric. The OP is now informed by a whole lot of folks with out one flame as far as I can see. So what is there left to discuss, how we clip our toes? My attempt at humor, directed to no one in particular.
|
I am probably a bit of a hypocrit, since I make jokes about me and Nick parroting "traditional" male/female roles.
Mind you, when I do it it drips with irony. When I joke about all the stuff that I have to ask Nick's permission to do - it's because he, zeus, the cats, and now all of you know that I never ask permission to do ANYTHING and even if I did it would be cursory because he'd never be able to stop me from doing anything I felt like doing - and he wouldn't try. (Possibly he wouldn't try because he knows it would be a waste of his time, however.) (Another favourite joke of mine is the one about how now I'm gonna go do the dishes and make the apartment look nice for "my man". Please, it's fairly common knowledge that there are at least 4 loads of laundry overflowing the hamper and a zillion dvds strewn all over the couch at any given moment. Poor Nick.) |
Quote:
|
Quote:
If a thread is going to bring on negative stances and just offends a lot of members, it isn't additive to the site. Sometimes an idea just flops and has nothing do with any ill intent of the OP at all.. |
Personally, I think if the thread was retitled, it could be a learning lesson for anyone new to this site or to the communities we all live in. I see plenty of posts here that are well written and worthy of reading whether you're new or not. I for one am always impressed with what I read by others and what I care to take with me when I leave a thread.
|
I think the word of the week is VERSUS.
I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday. Nerd? I love your name and welcome. |
Quote:
Note to self: don't ever put vs in a thread title |
My very first post on a b/f site ages ago was me jumping into a poly thread saying that I "wasn't morally capable" of doing poly.
It has taken 8 years for my ass to grow back. Bah. You live, you learn. I just want to make sure that Nerd knows we really ARE a loving bunch (with an extremely high nerd population). So Nerd, don't mind us. Your ass will grow back, and this place really is super special in tons of ways. :rrose: |
Maybe, in addition to "educating" a new person to the site, we have learned how to approach ... not allowing the error to pass, but not being so volatile as to defeat our purpose by having the recipient of our collected angst just shut down.*shrugs* I don't know. Maybe the holiday weekend tempered...
I'll keep checking, tho, to see if I should send salve .... |
Quote:
I agree also with being nice to new comers. When I read the first post, I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, and I still do. I just can't help feeling though, the benefit of the doubt is a lot to still be asking for in this matter. When I re-read the entire thread, the Monty Python skit "how not to be seen" ran through my head. lol. Poor Nerds merely stood up a bit from the shrubbery and it Blew up. lol Nerds, welcome to the planet. We're not try to teach you "how not to be seen". I think it's more like hoping folks can see some things differently. |
I like that, Ryobi. Thanks.
Maybe when newbies register, there should be a sign that tells them, "Newbies read this..... with an arrow pointing to a thread called by one of the names above. Or, Ass slings here ...? |
I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.
It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also. I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm |
Is there a dentist in the house? :fastdraq:
|
Quote:
go jack it's your vs. day it's your vs. day i'll be here every saturday in months that have 12 days |
Can we just call it, "The Femme rules the Butch" and see how that thread goes?
:vigil: :fastdraq: |
Quote:
I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions. Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed. Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years? Julie |
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:49 PM. |
ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018