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Soft*Silver 02-16-2011 02:37 PM

grieving our pets
 
I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry.

Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient.

About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been.

Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge.

Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....

Soft*Silver 02-16-2011 02:40 PM

Grieve not
nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so -
'twas Heaven here with you.
- Isla Pascshal Richardson


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wimsiclegirl 02-16-2011 02:50 PM

So sorry ...
 
Dearest Softness....

There are no words that bring sincere comfort at a time like this...Our pets are like our children or our closest family members. They are there for us with unconditional love in the good times and the bad. Losing them is such a tragedy...

It is obvious through your posts how well loved your dog has been. To help her cross over is the ultimate act of love that you can offer her...a peaceful transition.

Knowing that it is time and being strong enough to let go are very difficult decisions to make. I commend you and hope that you find some comfort in the closure this experience will bring both of you.

Praying for both of you...Courage, strength, comfort and peace...

In my thoughts and prayers...

suebee 02-16-2011 02:54 PM

All of us, especially those of us who have been there will be right there beside you Softness. It's painful, but it's the price for 14 years of unconditional love. This is the last favour you can do for a friend. I'm glad you'll be there with her.

May you have a peaceful crossing old girl. Soon you'll romp in the fields like a puppy and everything will be right again.

Sue

PinkieLee 02-16-2011 02:55 PM

(((((softness)))))))

I am so very sorry. I know how much you love your sweet girl, and how dedicated you've been in keeping her happy & healthy. I pray that peace & comfort surround you during this difficult time.

lipstixgal 02-16-2011 03:01 PM

I am sorry you have to lose your dog and I hope you find the courage and the peace in all of this. I will think of you on Friday in the morning. I didn't know that dogs can get dementia and everything else that goes with it...

Greyson 02-16-2011 03:02 PM

Softness, my heart goes out to you and Newfie. You and Newfie will be in my thoughts and prayer.

Soon 02-16-2011 03:10 PM

Will be thinking of you and your beloved newfie.

Peace to you in this difficult time.

The_Lady_Snow 02-16-2011 03:40 PM

My condolences softness, we'll be thinking of you both.

Jesse 02-16-2011 03:56 PM

THE DOGS WHO HAVE SHARED OUR LIVES
The dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometime, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them...
and always will.


---Linda Barnes ---

lipstixgal 02-16-2011 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse (Post 285257)
THE DOGS WHO HAVE SHARED OUR LIVES
The dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometime, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them...
and always will.


---Linda Barnes ---

That is very nice it reminds of my dog which was a scottish terrier I lost to cancer 3 years ago and I still miss him!!

Dreamer 02-16-2011 04:09 PM

Softness know we are thinking of you and of Newfie. Sometimes the kindest things are the hardest.

If it should be....
If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
then you must do what must be done,
for we know this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
but don't let grief then stay your hand,
for this day, more than the rest,
your love and friendship must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
what is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer? So,
when the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
only stay with me until the end,
and hold me firm and speak to me,
until my eyes no longer see.

It is a kindness that you do to me,
although my tail it's last has waved,
from pain and suffering I have been saved.

Do not grieve, it should be you,
who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close, we two these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author unknown

princessbelle 02-16-2011 04:21 PM

I am so sorry Softness. I know how hard this has been on you and how wonderful you have been to your baby. What a gift YOU have been to her as well. Please take solice knowing you did everything you could have possibly done and more. Love and hugs to you honey.


http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...rgscujldjb.gif

christie 02-16-2011 04:36 PM

There are no words other than we are thinking of you during this most difficult time. I'm glad she had you in her life and know well the joy a big ole dog can bring to your life. The gentle giant dogs have a special place in my heart.

Be gentle with yourself.

Christie & Jess

Semantics 02-16-2011 04:40 PM

Thinking of you and your sweet girl :stillheart:

WolfyOne 02-16-2011 04:48 PM

Softness, I certainly understand your grief because like you, I'm an animal rescuer
The ache in your heart is heavy now, but in time will ease
It is never easy making the decision you've made
often times we hope they will go peacefully in their sleep
Even when that happens, we're not as prepared as we think
We cry and then we cry some more and it hurts
Sometimes we even ask ourselves what gave us the right to have them put down
Just know, know matter what you're thinking, you did what was best
You took the pain and suffering she's been doing away
She's up there smiling at you right now
She knows one day you'll be reunited and she'll show you around
Right now, all you need to do is look up and smile back at her soul
Because as we happen to know, All Dogs Go To Heaven

Gemme 02-16-2011 05:18 PM

Softness and Story,

Many thoughts and much love to you both on your upcoming, separate journeys through this world. Know that the other is always going to be in one another's hearts and always wishing and wanting the very best for one another.

Blessings to you both. :rrose: :rrose:

weatherboi 02-16-2011 06:47 PM

hey softness-
i am so very sorry about your loss!!!!

Mtn 02-16-2011 07:02 PM

((((Softness)))))) so sorry, hon.

DomnNC 02-16-2011 07:25 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss Softness, it's a hard thing to have to finally come to do for our pets, but it is better than continuing to watch them suffer. It took a lot of courage and a lot of love for you to make that call, I know. Just know that as you hold her and say goodbye that she is thanking you as well, thanking you for ending her pain and suffering as well. She will forever be a part of your heart living and breathing within. Just close your eyes and she is there, always.

waxnrope 02-16-2011 08:22 PM

Thinking of you, holding her in your arms as she leaves for another place. May you find solace in her love of you, the funny memories, the love that you had for her. This is a hard thing to do. You did the right thing ... but it is oh-so-hard.

CrankyOldGuy 02-16-2011 08:26 PM

When they say a dog is man's best friend, it's easy to understand why. Losing your best friend is difficult. I am very sorry for your loss.

Kelt 02-16-2011 08:33 PM

I understand your pain at this time. I had to make the same journey with my close feline companion of 15 years 3 weeks ago. My thoughts are with you as you go through all of the losses that will show up over time. I'm sorry this is happening for you.

Tommi 02-16-2011 08:35 PM

Hugs
 
(((((((((((((Softness and that newfie who will romp again))))))))))))

http://cdn3.iofferphoto.com/img/item...lace-ac6da.jpg

Cowboi 02-16-2011 09:08 PM

I am sorry for the loss of your Newfie.

Softhearted 02-16-2011 10:14 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a pet and I can totally understand the feeling. I will have you and newfie in my thoughts.

DapperButch 02-16-2011 10:23 PM

I have you in my thoughts, Softness. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rockinonahigh 02-16-2011 10:24 PM

Softness so very sorry about this news,my heart goes out to both of you.

Arwen 02-16-2011 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 285221)
Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....

That's a loving thing you did for your girl. It's hard. It leaves a hole in your heart where they were. I've been there. I'll be there again. Just like you. It's that promise we make to them--to take care of them.

Hugs. Just hugs.

diamondrose 02-17-2011 02:22 AM

Softness..

I send comforting thoughts to you during this hard time

Daktari 02-17-2011 04:27 AM

No words. Sorry. You're in my thoughts.

sylvie 02-17-2011 08:55 AM

oh softness -

my heart is breaking for you.. ((((huggggz))))
it's not easy making the decision you made - but know you did the right thing for her and she's not suffering anymore.. find peace in the fact you've done all you could for her, and gave her all those wonderful years together..♥ she's with you & looking down on you, everyday hun.. and i know it's so difficult to lose your best friend..i've had to make that very same decision after 19 years..

sending you warmth, hugs & thoughts your way during your difficult time...
xoxox!

Soft*Silver 02-18-2011 03:51 PM

I want to thank all of you for sending such loving thoughts to me and my girl. I had to take a few days to collect myself. I wasnt in a good space. Many of you know that the past few years have been a really tough time for me. Story had literally been my life line more than a few times. She had pulled herself out of some health problems because she didnt want to leave me. She worried about me. In the end, as I was holding her, I had to promise her I would be ok. She had to promise me she would let go. The energy around us was intense. The vet had put my dogs down for two decades and knew my spiritual work and respected it. He waited for the moment. We both gave him the look.

When she was gone from her body I saw how ravaged her body had been. And I felt how clean her spirit was. I wept, from sorrow over losing her on this earth, from how hard this transition was, how painful our last month was together, how relieved I was to feel her within me, and how scared I was over how weak I felt. So I went and stayed somewhere so I could collect my thoughts and grieve. I prayed and stayed sober and rested and ate well and came home today. And when I came here, I wept, reading all of these wonderful posts and messages. Thank you. I needed to come home to this. Once again, the planet demonstrates what a community it truly is. A dog dies and people reach out to its owner. You guys get what she meant to me. She wasnt JUST a dog. She was my life. My angel. My love.

Thank you.

Passionaria 02-18-2011 04:31 PM

((( Softness )))
 
I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved friend, sending you love :heartbeat:

http://digital-photography-school.co.../11/flower.jpg

WingsOnFire 02-20-2011 09:25 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{Softness}}}}}}}}}}}

My heart goes out to you. I know how much your baby meant to you. My ladybug is going to be 13 this year. I know that her time will one day come and it makes me savor every moment with her. She finally grew all her hair back from her infection last year. I was sure I was going to lose her then. She has proven to be a strong soul.

So I know ooohhh so much how you feel about your beloved Story. She was a blessing to you as you were to her. Your heart is so big and full of love.

Sending you peace and comfort.

Becca

LeftWriteFemme 02-05-2013 08:20 PM

Missing Boo Boo Jenny
 

cinnamongrrl 02-05-2013 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme (Post 743869)

So sorry for your loss...I know it's hard...even time can't heal some hurts...it just dulls it so we can go on...

femmeInterrupted 02-05-2013 09:13 PM

Lord Byron and Boatswain
 
I'm currently loving the heck out my 6 year old Newfoundlander, named Piper. I adore her! It's my first Newfie, such a spectacular breed. Truly loving, magnificent creatures :) This thread made me think of the Lord Byron poem, written for his dog when he passed, also a Newf.


Epitaph to a Dog

Lord Byron


Near this Spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferosity,
and all the virtues of Man without his Vices.

This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery
if inscribed over human Ashes,
is but a just tribute to the Memory of
BOATSWAIN, a DOG,
who was born in Newfoundland May 1803
and died at Newstead Nov. 18, 1808.

When some proud Son of Man returns to Earth,
Unknown to Glory, but upheld by Birth,
The sculptor’s art exhausts the pomp of woe,
And storied urns record who rests below.
When all is done, upon the Tomb is seen,
Not what he was, but what he should have been.
But the poor Dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his Master’s own,
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonoured falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the Soul he held on earth –
While man, vain insect! hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven.

Oh man! thou feeble tenant of an hour,
Debased by slavery, or corrupt by power –
Who knows thee well must quit thee with disgust,
Degraded mass of animated dust!
Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat,
Thy tongue hypocrisy, thy heart deceit!
By nature vile, ennobled but by name,
Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame.
Ye, who behold perchance this simple urn,
Pass on – it honors none you wish to mourn.
To mark a friend’s remains these stones arise;
I never knew but one -- and here he lies.

~ocean 02-05-2013 09:21 PM

ty for sharing (((( femme ))))

Soft*Silver 02-06-2013 12:38 AM

oh Left....I am so sorry for your loss! I can still remember the deep sorrow over losing my girl I started this thread for. I still miss her. Once they are part of us, they never truly leave us when they are gone from this earth. They simply wait for us on that other side.

That might not comfort you at the moment, but know we love you and hold you in our cerebral and spiritual embrace.


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