"This is my truth"
 

Ok, so the first time I ever saw this statement was on the dash site.

The first time I read it I thought...what does that mean, exactly? Is that just another way of saying, "This is what I believe"? If so, why not just say that?

The statement sounds so awkward to my ears, for some reason. I figured that over time it would stop sounding this way, but it just doesn't.

So, my question (to anyone who wants to answer), am I understanding this statement correctly? If not, what does it mean?

I hear the statement more and more, so I am thinking that I really need to be more clear about what it means for communication purposes!

Disclaimer: This thread is not directed towards any person or any situation where this may have been said. No subtext here, just another case of my "wondering out loud" and wanting to hear from others.

Bootboi:

See, I get exactly the opposite.

Here's the difference to me:

"I believe" means "Here is how I think the world works. I may or may not have good reasons for it. It might be wishful thinking. I might be right. I might be wrong. I do not necessarily expect you to take my belief seriously."

"This is true to me" means "Here is how the world works. I have very good reasons for saying this. I do not seriously entertain the possibility that I'm wrong about this. "

The first statement seems to me to be less about judgement and more about simple acknowledgement of what is going on in one's own head and is a statement saying that one's level of certainty is at a level that is less than entirely compelling for others. The second statement seems to be more about making a judgement. Because something being true means we should expect the world to *actually* be that way.

I believe that the European social democratic model is a more economically stable, rational and humane way to order a society than the American laissez-faire capitalist model. While I think that my reasons for believing this are fairly strong and I think I can make a pretty damn good empirical case for it, I'm certainly not prepared to say that it is true. Meaning I don't necessarily expect the world to be obliged to be that way.

On the other hand, I know that it is a true statement that Earth orbits the sun. I know it is a true statement that ordinary water is two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom. I have very good reasons for believing so. I would be rather surprised to wake up tomorrow morning to find out that the Sun orbits the Earth or that ordinary water is actually comprised of three carbon atoms and four iron atoms. The world is actually obliged to be a certain way because if it were not that way, then something else would be true. I think a statement can be said to be true when it would be perverse to withhold at least provisional assent.

My problem with the 'this is true for me' statement is that if I am going to behave as if that statement has any coherence to it, I'm going to have to *at minimum* treat your statement as if your reasons for believing it are sufficiently strong that I should accept those reasons as valid--at least in my dealings with you. They may not be valid and your statement may be seriously contradicted by evidence.

Cheers
Aj

I have been trying to understand it for 20 years now. I still cannot make it make sense to me. The minute I acknowledge the other 7 billion of y'all 'this is my *truth*' just falls completely to shreds.

I like to think I have some brain cells I can rub together and generate heat and I can't make head or tails of it.

Cheers
Aj

I'm thinking it means, "This is what I believe" + "no matter what you say nothing will change this belief I have"

and/or

"This is what I believe" + "And this is something I know in the deepest part of my soul"

I would really love to hear from people who use this phrase.

*Smiling* Having used this phrase, when I say it, I truly mean that it's a truth in my life, in my personal situation...and something I have learned that applies to me. It's stronger than a belief to me..it's a truth...but, when I say it, I accept that the emphasis for me is on the word "My". I'm not asking anyone to accept it for their own or to break it down so that it makes sense to them.

To me, it's the difference between saying "I want pizza for dinner" (I.E. Open to discussion, suggestions still..."I believe") and "I'm having pizza for dinner (I.E. NOT open for discussion or suggestions...YOU may have whatever you want...but, I'm having pizza! :) "My truth")

I don't know if that helped or hindered, but when I say it, that's what I mean. Also. When I say it, it's usually something that came from a lesson (Or more likely a series of them) that is prevalent only to me.

And when I say it, I do tend to be saying, I'm not judging or asking for judgement (tho I usually understand some may come) but your opinion won't change it for me. If I use the phrase, it's about a personal truth, growth, experience...and not a thing to do with true logistics about the world around us. I would never say "It's my truth" to refer to the moon affecting gravity...that's everyones truth...the difference between a truth and a fact I suppose.

What's true for me may not be (and usually isn't..thus versatility) true for you. By saying "it's my truth" I am saying, I get that your ideas may be very different, but this is my reality.

The last example I can think of (before I bore you to tears) is that part of "my truth" is the fact that I am a lesbian...therefore the politics surrounding gay marriage/civil unions is huge to me. I know straight people who can claim that truth, and I know gay people who don't want to claim that truth. To each their own, but it's part of my truth, my life...my essence. I hope that all made sense..somewhere in my rambling!!!!

Yes. Thank you. Very helpful!

Another quickie..

A friend who recently had some severe health problems used this phrase when telling me that her personal truth was that she would die before 40 if she didn't change her habits. She doesn't believe it to be true...she knows it to be true...and it only applies to her (not to others in her circle). No room for argument or debate...it's a fact of her life.

Just isn't about right or wrong to me (that is judgement). What I believe to be my truth has accumulated over decades with a lot of trial and error- a process. A fluid process. I don't know that I want to close out possibilities that could enrich or transform what I hold as personal truth. I do know, however, that I want what I do offer as my truth to be respected by others no matter what stage of self integration it is in.

I don't know...I still think it is such an awkward phrase. Does anyone else think this? Maybe b/c I never heard it IRL (in real life)? I have never actually heard someone say the phrase, just read it.

In thinking more about it...it feels almost "uncomfortable" (can't think of a better word at this point). Like, it feels off putting. It feels like the person is saying, "step back", or "case closed". Or almost like you insulted the person. Yes...that is what it is...I think that a lot of the times I have seen it used, it has been in response to something that insulted the person and/or it was almost used in a way to shame the person for having "questioned" them.

However, by the same token, I have seen it used in just a random post where there has not been any engagement at all and the person is just using it as an exclamation point, of sorts.

I don't know...the phrase has just always disturbed me.

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ETA: OR maybe it seems like the person is saying "this is my opinion, so you can't argue it", instead of just the "this is what I believe in my soul" definition I used earlier.

I dunno. Others thoughts?

P.S. I have never felt there being a "judgment" attached to it. Meaning, when the person uses the phrase, I do not see them as speaking to the other person's thoughts on the specific topic. I see them as only speaking to their own thinking on the subject. Does this make sense? I am not sure why I am having such a hard time flushing my thoughts out on this.

it's kind of flowery and dramatic: i can't imagine anyone saying, 'this is my truth' without simultaneously clutching her pearls.

Lol well when I have used this term I am usually not clutching any pearls but my hiney hole may be puckering!!!!

I think people say that when they feel that what they are saying is above argument / as a way of shutting down or bowing out of argument / to indicate that they are not open to exploration on the subject.

And, haha, that's -my- truth.

I could be wrong, but I don't think I've ever claimed anything as my truth. Because I absolutely get that there is much I don't know - I am uncomfortable with absolutes.

Well if you are speaking for others here then you are wrong in my case, cause i didn't use it in that manner. LOL but it is funny!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

I have never said it but how I have read it when I have seen it has been:

"This is what I believe to be so. This is what it is to me, so I say it is my truth. I don't want anyone to think I am making sweeping generalizations about what other people feel/think/believe as being the same as what i feel/ think/believe. I definitely don't want to start a disagreement so if I say this then hopefully it won't"

That is my interpretation. Of course it is subjective, but it's what I see it to mean when I have read it. And I have not asked the person to interpret what they mean by it.

I use this phrase, and I come more from where Playful does...

If I believe something. then I think it works or is that way...can't prove it, just pretty much think that's true. I believe that it's better to be kind than cruel (unless the cruelty is a consensual thing :winky: )

If I say "my truth" then I'm not saying it's the truth for everyone...but it is for me. And it's something that goes way beyond belief or thinking or a feeling...it's my truth.

My truth is that, as a diabetic, I cannot eat and behave like non-diabetics do...or I'll probably go blind. Not true for all diabetics (because scientifically speaking there's a huge range in what diabetics can and can't do)...but it is true for me.

My truth is that I must work and be independent to a certain degree. I'm not saying it's better. I'm not saying it's "right." I'm not saying it applies to everyone. I also know that it's more than an "I belive" or an "I think"....it's a visceral thing. When I am dependent and vulnerable I panic and lash out and generally fall apart. I anticipate the worst and, if it doesn't happen, I live in constant anxiety that it will. That's my truth.

For me, when I say "my truth" the emphasis is on my, not on truth...and it applies only to me.

Four Types of ‘Truth’
Published by Andrew Bernardin

If a truth is the perception that “it is so,” there are different types and perhaps levels of truth.

1. personal truth

A personal truth is what is true for an individual. For example, one person may believe that chocolate ice-cream is the best. Nothing said could alter his/her perception that “it is so.” He or she may consider your own favorite, strawberry to be inedible.
Personal truths reflect physiological attributes, psychological tendencies and the learning and experiences of an individual.

2. social truth

A social truth is what a distinct group perceives to “be so.” Social truths reflect group history, customs, and values. For example, to group “A” it may be true that the neighboring group, group “B,” is the enemy and thus a threat. But group “C” might not find this to be so. Or group “A” may believe that Saturday is the holy day, while group “B” claims it is Sunday.

3. human truth

A human truth reflects and pertains to the universal dispositions and abilities of our species, Homo sapiens. To one human being there is nothing more beautiful than another human being of the opposite sex (at least for heterosexuals). But to say we are the most beautiful of creatures would reflect species-centric thought.
Many things that we consider to be inherently true probably reflect distinctive features of human psychology. For instance, because human beings are primates that readily establish and acknowledge dominance hierarchies, the human individual may be predisposed to feeling that there is or could be some entity “greater than me,” whether or not that happens to be true.

4. universal truth

A universal truth is one that all sufficiently intelligent and educated observers, from this planet or any other (should they exist), would conclude to “be so.” For instance, the proportion of a circle’s circumference to its diameter is 3.141592 ( . . . ). This is a universal truth. Any capable, unbiased individual could verify that truth. Similarly, that energy is equivalent to rest mass times the speed of light squared, is also a universal truth.
A universal truth is the only type of truth that is not relative to the person or group making the claim. Science, by and large, provides us with universal truths. Or it at least aspires to.

Religion, no doubt, reflects social truths, and perhaps, in some regards, human truths as well. While one religion maintains that person X was the real messiah, another religion, reflecting its own values, customs, and history, says, “it is not so.” All groups, however, may feel that death cannot be the complete end to life. How can something so valued be lost? Humans may be naturally inclined to envision something more, irregardless of evidence.
What believers in a religion frequently fail to do is to place possible human truths and their own social truths into a wider perspective.
—
Andrew Bernardin/2005 (revised 2008)

http://evolvingmind.info/blog/four-types-of-truth/

Sorry for quoting myself
 

It is kind of wild that one phrase can have such dramatically different interpretations, isn't it?

Isn't this kind of unusual?

Darn, if I was one who used this term I think I'd stop using it or clarify it (at least in the written word where you have no body language, facial expressions, inflections in speech, etc.), because people would have such different interpretations as to what I was saying!

Hey, Snacktime.

Please know I am not being critical of the phrase. I am just wading through my thoughts on it.

It seems to me that some people read a defensive posture behind the statement, when a person may mean nothing more than, "I believe".

That's all I am saying.:)

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ETA: I am thinking that some folks do not see "This is my truth" as meaning the exact same thing as "this is true for me". I personally don't. I don't know what people mean. Hence the reason I started the thread.

Wow
 

Wow a simple question has turned into quite the conversation piece...

For me saying "My" Truth" putting the emphasis on the word "my" as i have seen in other responses...It is about who i am as a person, respecting my self as well as others..

My Truth, I have 3 adult children, this may not be true for others

My Truth, i wear many many hats in this world from being a mother to my title at work to how i spend my free time...

The truth of my life isn't necessarily yours however together we can make the world a better place.

There are a ton of ways to use this phrase...

For me its personal, not guarded and in no way saying "back off", its simple actually.(for me anyway)

Thanks, Liam!

Thinking how the phraze- "what rings true for me," or "what has been true for me" might not have the finality feeling. These would feel more open to communication to me.

Sometimes when it comes to words and their meaning, I go back to the source, which in my case is the dictionary.

The verb to believe can either be taken in its transitive form or intransitive form. For example:

He believes in ghosts. (intransitive verb)

Many people seem to believe that theory, but he finds it hard/difficult to believe. (transitive verb)

They have very different meanings according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

I quote:

"intransitive verb 1 a: to have a firm religious faith b: to accept as true, genuine, or real <ideals we ∼ in> <∼s in ghosts>
2: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something <∼ in exercise>
3: to hold an opinion : think <I ∼ so>

transitive verb 1 a: to consider to be true or honest <∼ the reports> <you wouldn't ∼ how long it took> b: to accept the word or evidence of <I ∼ you> <couldn't ∼ my ears>
2: to hold as an opinion : suppose <I ∼ it will rain soon>
— be·liev·er noun
— not believe to be astounded at <I couldn't believe my luck>"
http://www.britannica.com/bps/dictionary?query=believe

"True1 a: steadfast, loyal b: honest, just c: archaic: truthful
2 a (1): being in accordance with the actual state of affairs <∼ description>
(2): conformable to an essential reality
(3): fully realized or fulfilled <dreams come ∼> b: ideal, essential c: being that which is the case rather than what is manifest or assumed <the ∼ dimension of the problem> d: consistent <∼ to character>
3 a: properly so called <∼ love> <the ∼ faith> <the ∼ stomach of ruminant mammals> b (1): possessing the basic characters of and belonging to the same natural group as <a whale is a ∼ but not a typical mammal>
(2): typical <the ∼ cats>
4: legitimate, rightful <our ∼ and lawful king>
5 a: that is fitted or formed or that functions accurately b: conformable to a standard or pattern : accurate
6: determined with reference to the earth's axis rather than the magnetic poles <∼ north>
7: logically necessary
8: narrow, strict <in the truest sense>
9: corrected for error
— true·ness noun"
http://www.britannica.com/bps/dictionary?query=true

Just my .02 cents...

I think it *is* the kind of phrase that can have multiple interpretations.

But I don't think *that* is unusual at all.

We're forever discussing, debating and delineating the most common of phrases and identities here on BFP and in the broader world.

I think some people use the phrase "this is my truth" as way of being emphatic (or dramatic), as a colloquial exclamation point.

And I think other people use it to describe something (a belief or an opinion) that is deeply tied to their identity or experience; a thought that is hardwired in to their identity: physically, emotionally and rationally.

I also think the people who use it this way use the phrase "my truth" to indicate that they recognise it may or may not be a universal truth, but to emphasize that it is very true/real for them personally.

Ugh... I hate it when I don't catch a goof! "s" for "z" .. OCD anyone?

This is an interesting discussion- varied takes. All of our unique "lenses" and "filters."

Beautifully said.

There is often judgement, I think, but it's usually from the listener. Why on Earth should I have to rephrase something that is not prejudiced...not hateful...not hurtful to anyone because it doesn't 'feel right' or 'sound right' to someone else? That's like telling me not to call myself Queer because Aunt Sally is 'uncomfortable' with the term.

:blink:

I am NOT okay with that. Even though I don't use the phrase often, there's a part of me that wants to say it a LOT now.

I know your inquisitive nature, Dapper, so I know you don't feel judgement coming from yourself, but it sure sounds like it in text. I do want to say that I do understand that you tend to think 'out loud' on the threads and I do know that you're not in a Judgy McJudgerson frame of mind right now, but as we all know, it's hard to 'hear' folks when all we have are colored words on a white background to go by.

As some have mentioned the emphasis is not on the 'truth' but on the 'me' or 'my'. To me....ME...when someone questions something I've said is 'my truth' or is 'true to me', it feels as if they are questioning ME, whether it's because they don't like the phrase or if they don't understand it, etc. When someone speaks up and says...in one way or another...this is about ME...that is a very personal thing for them. It's a part of them. I always try to keep that in mind, especially if my truth or my reality as I see it does not coincide with theirs.

Yeppers.

Wild, maybe. Unusual, not a chance. Ask ten people what Stone means to them. Or Queer. Or just about anything. You'll get ten completely different answers. That's the blessing and the curse of this medium. Soooo many people, with different lives, experiences, truths, beliefs, judgements, etc coming together to discuss specific topics.

I'm raising an eyebrow at you because you said, again, that those who use this harmless phrase should stop because it might make things more difficult for other people or be uncomfortable for others. :eyebrow:

I remember you saying this a couple of times and then thinking that it's an outstanding phrase. To thine own self be true, but with less thines and thees. :)

Exactly.

Absolutely.

How many definitions of femme have we heard on this site? Or butch? And those terms are even applicable enough to the whole assortment of us that they're in the name of the site.

But we all do them differently. And I doubt any of us would say we shouldn't be using those terms.

For me, the phrase isn't hurting anyone...doesn't put anyone else down...doesn't imply "less than" or "better than"...isn't telling anyone else what to do...it's a matter of claiming self, just as we all do with a whole variety of phrases and terms.

Heck...Bete's even got Scoote claiming "fat"...and I thought that would never happen. :blink:

I remember you saying this a couple of times and then thinking that it's an outstanding phrase. To thine own self be true, but with less thines and thees. :)

LOL Gemme - I have those very words, thine included, tattooed across my chest... lookie ;-)

http://pic100.picturetrail.com/VOL90.../395716877.jpg

Hi, Gemme. I wasn't aware as to how this sounded. I am glad that you know that it was just a "talking out loud, wondering", kind of thing.

No, I don't actually mean that I think that people should stop using the term. I have no investment in that, at all.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to clarify and giving me the benefit of the doubt.

My truth
 

I don't tend to use that phrase, but I do think it is important to acknowledge how subjective and personal "truth" can be. I am somewhat skeptical of truth that comes in the category of "universal" or "objective" especially when related to abstract concepts and social constructs. To debatable extents all that we know and feel is our own truth, I think this is part of the human experience.

Although in saying that, I just want to add that I do agree that saying "this is my truth" is sometimes used to shut down a conversation, or rebuff confrontational questions because it is very difficult to argue with someones subjective experience.