Single Butches & Femmes Cafe
 

Lets have a cup and talk, laugh, flirt, debate, just get together as Femmes and Butches (FIB & MIB). Hell, there is a singles FtM & Femmes thread- why not us?!!

It is a gorgeous day and I want to take a drive over to SF with the top down! Hummm.. gotta mow the lawn first.

such a good day, and alas, i have to work.:sigh:

Day off today. Think I'm gonna head to Olive Garden in a little while to pick up some lunch. It's rainy today It's gonna be a lazy day

hello singles and butches...

Hey y'all....

watching golf and playing poker...thought I would throw my hat into the ring and say a quick hello.

Hi everyone! Great to see you all!

I'm going to take my pooch to the dog park and then do some yard work. Working Sunday.

Wishing everyone the best!

Hello everyone, how did y'alls days go? It has been a busy house cleaning sunday, which goes against everything I believe in! Sundays are for sleeping in and chilling out and doing a whole lotta nothing. But alas...
So now I am enjoying some twizzlers, watching the Billboard Music Awards and just hanging around for a little bit. I hope you all are well.

Mr.

Mine went okay. I had to work, which i didn't mind, since it takes all I make for college and such. Sad part? i only worked 2.5 hours, which is not enough money, seeing as i only make 8$/hr. But, it wasn't too bad. Come home and relaxed, and now I'm just longing.

Peanut M & M's
 

I have TWO bags of them, Ruthie! Wanna share some with me??? C'mon down, gorgeous!!!! Clay:glasses:

There is a Singles thread already....

But HI

Are trans folks invited too?

I don't see why not.
A little bit of everyone is there.
Pretty open fun group of people who like to flirt with each other.

Morning! Time to watch some golf and drink a Lil coffee :)

WOW! I just found this thread! I'm happy now!
:cheesy:

I want to date and have fun. I'm not sure what I'm looking for except to be treated well by someone and enjoy nice moments, conversations and playful exchange.

I'm feeling a bit disappointed in people these days. I'm not so sure why I am drawing such insanity into my life here lately but I'm sure there's a reason. But I'm definitely open to it.

Hi everyone!!! Wandered over to see what trouble you were getting into over here! :)

I did start the thread because there is a distinct FtM/Trans and Femmes singles thread and a general singles thread for all folks which includes trans folks. There wasn't one for just plain old butche and femme singles that that want to seek one another out.

Actually, I wish that the general for all singles one was the only single thread, but distinctions started to happen so I thought this was fair for both femmes and butches to find each other on the site that really do seek only each other in terms of romantic relationships.

Ugh... gets so complicated sometimes. But, I don't think any member of any identification can actually be "banned" from any thread. Seems like that would be against the TOS. I sure don't want any one to be offended in any way.

There are other singles/relational threads too- like Daddy/Girl, and D/s specific. Geez... we have so many distinctions! which is one of the things I like about the site over all. Yet, I am not a good candidate for a woman/femme that prefers transmen. And I don't have any problem at all with women/femmes that find that they prefer transmen in terms of romance and dating. Some like both, too.

I think its ok to break down sub cultures without seeming prejudice.


Anyhow, good morning all the hot butches and beautiful femmes! Its going to be a fantastic Sunday.

]Kudos to you for that! I remember when labels weren't so necessary either, having been out for 34 years now. Still, I think it's interesting how people do identify and their reasons for that indentification. I applaud a person's right to be themselves, but I remain an old school butch, plain and simple.

Since am new to this, I would like some feedback please:

How do you handle it as a femme if you find yourself attracted to the mind/intellect/politics, etc., of a butch on the planet (and their picture doesn't hurt)?

If you are a butch do you send a pm or wait to see if the femme sends you one?

Do you tell them you would like to get to know them better?

Do you wait to see if they respond to you?

What if they give you quite a few reps on your posts but nothing beyond that?

Do you read between the lines that they just have no interest in getting to
know you better beyond appreciating your posts?

I am rather old school, kind of shy & in no way needy & would hate to be perceived as such.

Thanks,

Anya

Having been in the BF community almost 15 years here is my take...

It seems that so many butches wait to be approached. You heard the saying 2 X 4? (hitting them over the head with a board) Well that is very much true, or so it seems. Personally I don't chase anyone. I may be flirty but I will not chase or settle for dribblings or attention. lol- Maybe why I'm single? But when I do find someone who is interested they appreciate my high expectations. They are mature enough to know that a woman like me is an investment in time, a bit of work and consistency.

I think that if you wait around for them to approach you you might be waiting a while. I think it takes a bit of flirting to let them know you are interested. If they dont grab the bait wait for one who will.

My advice on this probably sucks. lol

But sense I mentioned it..... lol


how come it seems like so many butches here don't approach femmes? Is it just me? How come so many of you seem scared or like your waiting for someone to do back flips? If you're interested in a femme why not tell her, make a plan to woe her and win her affection? This seems the natural order of things. Shall I give lessons boi's?

more from me... lol

ok here is a novel idea- BAM upside your head- pay attention!!!! lol

I love starting as friends. In fact I can easily have a butch as a buddy, go fishing, hang out and not have the pressure of dating. Let's face it, I'm pretty damn cool. lol (I'm in that kind of mood today) I always say "friends first". If something happens, great! if not, thats ok too. I enjoy butch company. I don't have to do the "jump your bones then call uhaul". In fact I might be slow to commit for some.

lez be friends, shall we?

Wishing everyone an enjoyable sunday....:coffee:

Ok Wolfy and BBM

Unfortunately you'll need to step out of this. In my last post I mentioned friends. I think you both could learn a lot being just friends with femmes and letting your guard down. BUT don't do the passive aggressive drama rama thing. Take relationship completely out of the equation. If the chemistry is strong enough you won't be able to do anything about it, but don't give unwelcome advances. Let things flow naturally.

Wolfy you made a comment in a rep and on my wall that was so flattering. It was just beautiful. You spoke from the heart and I would have loved to just spend the day with you talking and hanging out. Dating doesn't have to be hook, line and sinker.... its can be a simple exchange of like minds coming together to experience a dynamic. Maybe its just not meant to go any further then that and thats really ok. At least in my book. If a butch wants to hang out with me as a friend and charm me a bit then I say "hell yeah- bring it on!"

Ummmmm, now paying attention, lol

I'd go fishing with you, if I was in the neighborhood...heck, I'm even good for hanging out

I'd be more of a lets have a non date and just talk kind of person

Being pretty and damn cool works :)

awwww now you're talking! Polite, a little flirty but genuine. It keeps the doors of friendship open. You can flirt with me anytime love muffins and should you find yourself in my neck of the woods I'll even take you fishing. Don't count on my going to OK- never was on my list.