Bringing It Up: Describe The Butch You Are
 

I had come across a thread "Describe the Femme that you are" but, when I searched to find a counter part for this thread I could not....I find it interesting and would enjoy hearing from other butches on how they see themselves as individuals.

As I have aged, my views of myself have not so much changed, but have developed and brought me to the place I am today. I look back 10, 20 and 30 years ago and it makes me laugh, I thought I was the toughest, baddest, fucking butch around....and as the years went by, I realized I am not that bad...tough yes, strong definitely and well although my wildest years are behind me, I am still pretty wild.

I am not afraid of the soft, sensitive side of me, I thought it was a weakness years before, but I can embrace it.....yes, I am a woman. I identify with female pronouns because that is how I feel....when I first came out in my teens, I did not like this, I wanted to identify as a male, but like I said I have come to be okay with who I am. I say this for myself and would never judge anyone, I am me, and I am learning it is okay to have my own opinion of me.

I am at times impulsive, but it is alright, I find myself growing daily....I learn from my mistakes, pick myself up and go on. I don't blame others for the things that happen to me, I don't like chaos and I hate drama....

Ok now for the good things about me....I am great with my hands, I can fix anything, design anything, create anything. I am a visual and sensual person, I love to gaze at the stars, walk along the beach, smell wild flowers, breathe in and take in all life has to offer. I love dancing, candle light dinners with a wonderful femme, and long nature walks....

I can be wild and aggresive, passionate and sensual, or playful and serious.... I sometimes wonder if I will ever grow up, but then again I wonder why I would want to....yes, I would want to take care of a femme in my life, but I know it is okay to have a playful side, a silly side that does not need to change.

I would want the femme in my life to feel safe, to feel protected and to know she has all the love and support possible... I would want her to feel she always has a safe place to land. There would be no question about her being treated special....I am very much a gentle wo(man), doors open, order first, sit first, etc, etc.....

I am sure I will think of more things, but for now, this is all I have to say...I would enjoy hearing from others.

The butch I am...

For starters, I am a young butch, so there's still things in my young life that I have yet to discover and to learn. My journey to know has not been an easy one at all, for I have had a very hard life and had to grow up way too fast. At 20, that's not such an easy thing for me to do at all. Makes me wish that I could slow it all down at times. Still, through it, I've had some fun and crazy times to tie in with all the hard ones. I think the hardest thing for me was when I lost my father at 18. That experience there really opened up my eyes and made me gradually become stronger, and from it, I learned to cherish things in my life a lot more. The butch I am is also a fighter, and will stop at nothing to win over whatever struggle I may be facing. The butch I am, is simple, yet all one person. And I will stop at nothing to help someone, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness to do so. More than that, the butch I am..is human.

T defined...
 

A walking emotional nightmare but like Marilyn Monroe famously said “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

I'm an old school butch who's sensitive, loving, loyal, kind, too sweet and always there for those in need. I have a big soft center that I hide from the world but share with those I care about. Sometimes I've been known as the mean looking lesbian. That's just my hard ass shell. But if you know me then you know the truth.

the Butch I am
 

Aries,blue eyes,six foot,stubborn,hot blooded fire sign .. And true to my sign. Like a bull in a china shop in most situations. Speak first,think later .. On a softer side I am kind,caring,sensitive .. And I have a wicked sense of humour. I like lengthy hugs and kissing sessions. I love being fussed over =]

I am a butch that is as tired of the stereotypes and generalizations made about butches as I am of transmen and femmes- all of the identities that are a part of this community.

Butch is simply one aspect of who I am. A positive part along with many other things that add up to me.

I wear labels- each one explains something, none are contrary, each one – sought, questioned, embraced- They are etched into my belt.

https://flpics2.a.ssl.fastly.net/193...193026_720.jpg

I enjoy the company of everyone who flags queer. I don’t need complete sentences to understand what a person who has walked in Butch shoes for many years is trying to say; and for those new to just finding those shoes, I feel a little ache as I know the challenges that lay ahead for them.

As a Butch I understand the struggle and strength of the Femme, the role that each played in allowing me to walk tall, for letting me see in myself what only they could.

I am Butch because others walked before me and demanded the name; I am Butch because a Femme risked everything to tell me and everyone looking our way that I am wanted. I am Butch the noun. I do not understand butchy, butch-like, or sometimes butch. I am old enough and have ventured far around the globe enough to carry the scars that the politic of any given day inflicted.

I am the kind of Butch who does not laugh easily, and who has to consciously make an effort to smile in order to make someone feel at ease. I am the kind of Butch who detests bullying and without thought will rise to the occasion. I am the kind of Butch who carries OFOS expectations and struggles with the concept that it is not universal within the community.

I am the kind of Butch who finds pleasure in every single day, feels deeply others sorrow, finds wonderment in the extraordinary, relishes lessons learned, and finds amusement in the ridiculous..... and I am the kind of Butch that you would have to know well to see that.

What kind of Butch am I?
Well, I have read many descriptions and I have seen many traits represented on this thread, which I could claim as my own, but I ask myself how do I stand apart?

(grins) How I look is a BIG difference. Well sort of, ... I can dress boi, and even pass for male at first glance, ... at a distance... (laughing) But, I rarely do in public. My masculine expression, is a vulnerable and personal point of my existence. I have had dysphoria events so bad I hardly lived through them, so I decided, if I have to be 'girl' -- I might as well be a HOT one -- So call me a lesbian drag queen or a Butch in Drag, (lots of other things too) its fine with me. (one friend has called me a bulldykefaggotqueen, which I thought was funny as hell! --major laughter--)

I stand at the crossroads of many gender categories, non transitional FtM transgender/dissociative bigender/Stone Butch Lesbian.
I feel the brotherhood, of Old School/Old Fashion ideaology and I just 'get' the Butch/Femme dynamic, I never needed it to be explained.

I adore a feminine woman! I am entranced by the Lipstick Femme, and yearn to feel 'her' yield to my embrace. To see her enjoy the complexity of interaction with a Lipstick Butch. (there are not many of 'us' in the world) I am gentle, understanding, honest and respectful of feminine drama. I can be the 'Butch' she needs and the best 'girlfriend' too. (its not always easy to sort that out)

I am a Stone Butch, I joke that its a 3 trimester collage course in advanced psychology, to understand why. But, I hope to get over those issues someday. Yet, I lose nothing by that loss, like someone who has lost their sight and other senses become more acute, my genitals may not work as designed, but I can climax just from my girl caressing my hands. Or from my hands gliding across the fullness of her curves. (and I do like 'fullness' in her curves) I will also confess, a little feminine 'bitching' is a bit of a turn on to me.

I like to dance, (I lead) I enjoy singing along with songs on the radio, (I have been told my voice is nice). And after 30 years of therapy, I can talk almost any subject to death! Also, I have a wicked sense of humor and I am a compulsive flirt!

On the practical everyday--getting things done--side of life, I am a modern homesteader (have lived on this sixty acres for over ten years). I designed and built most of my house. (its two story, so I had to have some help) I own and use all the tools needed to do the work. It is small and comfortable, heated by wood, powered by wind and solar. I am a master gardener, can raise the food, preserve it, and save seed for next year. I have lived with and raised animals most of my life. I like dogs and cats. (I like to call myself a blue eyed tomcat)

I like honesty and intelligent conversation. I endevor to keep the promises
I make, so I rarely make them. I can love someone, when not 'in love' with them. (hence, I am not single)

The Butch I Am...
 

I'm a neo-traditionalist butch. What I mean by this is: I'm glad for the progressive ideas of the present, but I deeply value displays of manners and chivalry that seem to have been dismissed as silly by some members of my generation. (I'm 28.)

I prefer cordial discussion to excess displays of dramatic energy; I believe in greeting everyone for the first time with eye contact and a pronounced handshake... with a kiss on the hand for the ladies when the situation is appropriate; and - surprising as it may be to those who know me - I do not swear in the presence of women (or anyone, for that matter) until I know they are okay with it.

I'm no Ward Cleaver, nor am I a white knight. I'm gentle but firm.

I listen instead of waiting for my turn to talk because I think other people (especially femmes) are probably more fascinating than I am. I don't speak unless I have something to say.

I'm a queer history buff. I tip my fedora to the courageous butches - both alive and dead - who existed before my time. They sacrificed their bodies, minds, and pride in dirty bars, paved our history, and fought to defend our identities.

I'm dapper and badass; a gentleman and a bad boy.

I am a genderqueer/transgendered butch. I prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns, but I won't get my boxer briefs in a wad over female ones. I feel like a guy, but have chosen not to transition due to the cost and lack of bottom surgery options. This has caused me to proudly embrace being of a third gender on a quest to love myself. People ask me when I will transition sometimes and don't comprehend the idea that I have no intention to do that. I am happy with who I am.

I am not quite a stone butch, but I am close to it. I'd say I'm 90% stone. I am okay with being touched between my legs by the right partner; I just don't want to be feminized in the process.

I am a butch because butch means masculine. I am a butch because I love and understand this dynamic; because I adore femmes and acknowledge them to be my kryptonite; because I was euphoric when I discovered there was actually a group of pretty girls who would like someone like me.

Thanks for this thread
 

I have changed so much in the last 8 months I need time to think on this and at the same time I am at the core who I have always been....

Still pondering this but
 

I see that the person I have become is the person I have always been. Thanks again for this thread..........

Alex, I get you and am the same way.
Thanks for posting.

What Kind Of Butch Am I?
 

For years I knew no name for my personal gender identity, and actually swung back and forth between stone butch and hetero-femme during a personality crisis....but when it all settled down and sorted out the message was pretty clear. I am a stone butch.

I believe in chivalry, in listening, in loving honestly and completely.

Presently I have no partner, but a few years back I had a 12 year relationship with a woman. I called her my wife.
...sexually I was the giver and liked it that way, she never wanted to touch me beyond kissing and holding. We had some great kissing/hugging marathons.

At first things were great. Fantastic. Or so I thought.

After 12 years she left me to find a "real man," sending me through the fires of emotional hell. We managed to remain friends somehow.
For years I couldn't bring myself to function as a lesbian at all, let alone as a butch or stone butch....I felt neutered. Devoid of self determination. I phased into another persona, a heterosexual girl. I'd done it once before and got pregnant. Sheesh.

So eventually I met a man and formed an interesting bond....and stayed in touch with my former wife.
I watched her go through one crappy relationship after another...abusive men.
I always tried to make sure there was space to take her in should it be needed but she refused.
She died of ovarian cancer three years ago....I saw her the day before she died and whispered "I love you." to her. She was too weak to speak, but her eyes told me she loved me too.

My 20 year relationship with the man is more like two brothers living together than a couple - no sex between us, separate rooms etc.
He is disabled and I am his home health care person. I live my own life, have my own friends and am living as butch full time once more.

I never felt comfortable trying to be a man's wife, or feminine at all for that matter. If it was available to me and if the science was perfected I'd go for the full sexual reassignment surgery including removal of ovaries and all.
If wishes were horses we'd all have a ride.

If it ever gets possible I'd like to have top surgery. Then I'd feel a little more comfortable.

I don't like being touched in/on my genitals....for some it's okay. For me it's just too much. I have yet to find a woman who can melt my stone to that capacity....I'll keep looking.

Sometimes it feels like my stone was hammered and fired repeatedly, tempered 'til it turned to steel.

I stand proud of our herstory/history/hystori....and am always mindful of the personal sacrifices made by those who've gone before us...courageous, beautiful souls all who gave their lives so we could be free.

I am a "long haired" stone butch, preferring to keep my locks long - although usually pulled back in a "biker's tail" or "freak flag." I usually wear blue jeans and t-shirts, clean but not formal... but I do clean up well and like a good three pieced suit with a hat and shiny shoes for steppin' out fancy.

I lead when dancing.

Believe it or not, I go to a "straight" bar in my neighborhood and for the most part am loved and accepted...many even defer to the proper pronouns....him/ze that sort of thing.

What kind of Butch am I?
A work in progress as are we all...defined as stone/sometimes steel, but with a great big heart bursting with love for the right femme. :rrose:

Same here! :)

You are an amazing person and because you can do soooo much makes you also an amazing butch my friend.

awwwwww how sweet is that?

love this...all of this even the country song part....she never lets it go to her heart..baby your not that old...unless your pics are much older than they appear

You make so much good sense, AtLast.

An Open Letter to Butches, With Love
 

Yes. This.

Thank You.

My pleasure.

Thank you IslandScout. You spoke my heart. Not that I've ever been so lucky to have seen a table of crew rowers drinking beer *internal squeel*. Maybe I'll be so lucky one day. For years and years I've been with men and while they were not wimps, I always was the strong one. I'm looking forward to the day when I hug hym and know everything will be all right. Until then I'm enjoying those occasional fleeting moments when I see a butch walk down a street or get into hys truck (are there any butches who never owned a truck or motor bike?).

I'm the kind of Butch that Mothers want their straight daughters to marry. Of course I'm not straight. Lol:)

IslandScout..

Just plain beautiful..
I will always appreciate a pretty lady in a dress..
As i pass her i will always look back..

Mariamma..

Butches always have several trucks and bikes in their
lives..I have had my last truck long enough it now has rustedrims..
You forgot softball..

thank you both for noticing..

s..

This femme too!:cheer:

Ok gonna do it..
 

The job came up for bid that i have been waiting for..I have had a hand full of months to think about it..I knew it was comming..Tomorrow is the day i make my move..[literally]. The thing is that i have to go on day shift for 6 weeks to be trained.. That isnt a problem..I am on midnights now and love it..The guy that will be training me i absolutely cant stand.!!.He feels the same about me..At least we agree on that..How much can you learn from a guy that doesnt like ya..I can deal with all that..Here is the thing..It has been quite a few years ago but he was making comments about the lifestyle i live..I would hear it from a friend what he was saying..Didnt like that and felt uncomfortable..
I need to gather all my Butch strength and go in there and learn that job and deal with him..The up side to all this is he will be retiring the first of the year..Eventually i will work my way back on nights and work with the guy that is my friend and learn from him all i need to know..
My butchness will be put to the test and i will see how much of that will be forced out by that idiot..I am in a better place with my lifestyle that i live and can handle people a little better than in the past..

I need to take a step back and look at the big picture..I get a small pay raise and i will work with my brain but will still have physcial work..A big change as to what i am doing now..I will also be getting away from people i have worked with for 20 years..I just gotta wait it out..Now i will find out what kind of butch i am in the work place knowingly setting myself up to people that do not approve..

Ya know what..??. i will be ok..I need to do this..
s..

I just saw this and thank you for your kind words. I'm a humble person so all I can say is, I'm just being me. :)