Important things I learned from past relationships
 

I feel like I spend all my time on here focusing on my past bad relationships, whereas most of mine have been really good! Of course memories are always slightly tainted by breakups (which are never nice) but I always walk away with something valuable, no matter how awful the relationship.

I learned I had a beautiful voice and that I could sing from the first person I truly loved. I learned about dirty, kinky sex from another relationship which unfortunately turned dirty and nasty. I learned that organisation isn't that hard, from someone I admire to this day, and I learned that I can write from a relationship which left me broke:sigh:

What important things have you learned which you can't now live without?

i've always known the type of person that elevates who i am. but i wasn't lucky enough to keep her. she taught me the very thing this thread is about. she taught me to leave "the room" better than when i walked in "the door". she left me with a deeper meaning. she looked behind the blade of grass, ... it's never ending. life is about discovery.

i miss her, always will.

from the past I only bring the good to the present.
 

I have expereince beautiful love. Nasty raw love making, Cold fish, truth and lies.

I also know that not all women are the same,there are great ladies in the world worthy of love and trust.


My quote
Do not tell me who you are.... show me.

My past relationships have helped me to set my limits...what I want and what I need. And how to forgive.

My past relationships taught me about what I really want in a relationship. That's probably why I've been single for so long. I won't settle and I can wait forever if need be. I want the real thing that will last a long long time.

I learned that it is just as painful to break someone’s heart as it is to have your own broken. Actually if I am being really honest, it was less excruciating to be left than it was to leave. I was in a relationship for eleven years and I spent the last five of it trying to get free without breaking her heart. Of course it wasn’t possible and in the end I hurt her badly. This changed me and affected the way I experienced love for years after. It was less painful when a woman I was with for six years decided she wasn’t in love with me anymore and wanted to pursue a relationship with a man she met at work. That hurt but because I was the one who was left it was easier.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s never easy when love ends, both parties suffer. Until it happened to me I just assumed it would hurt worse to be dumped. Not true. At least not for me.

Promising to love someone forever and then falling out of love and taking back my promise taught me a couple of things. It taught me to be careful what I promise. And it taught me that when love ends for one person but doesn’t for the other there isn’t anything either party can do. It isn’t fair to expect someone to love you when they don’t. And it doesn’t say anything about you. Love just ends sometimes. Learning this made it easier to deal with when I was the one being dumped.

The other thing I learned is that when it comes to love there is never a happy ending. I guess if you die together in a plane crash or something…but other than that it’s destined to be painful at some point. There is always a risk to love. But it’s worth it.

I learned about pure love, the kind that endures even when the "relationship" ends. My exes are with a very rare exception like family to me. Once I love I love forever.

I've learned to keep my heart open and free even if it means loss. Truth is we always lose in love even if we find the love of our life and are lucky to stay together forever, we someday lose them to death.

Important things I learned from past relationships...

Who I was then is not who I am now.
I strive to grow and learn from each past relationship respectively.
I do have a voice.
I am more willing to forgive and forget than to harbor ill feelings toward the one I claim to love.
Communication is absolutely key to a successful relationship.
Disagreements are truly healthy as long as they are resolved through love and understanding.
If you put the mind, body, soul perspective into the relationship, as with anything, you can never go wrong.
There is always room for improvement...

That it is worth the risk leaving a comfortable, long term relationship to go after what you truly need and want (even if it does take more than 10 years to find it)

That it is far better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

Spending that time being single gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself and gain confidence that you really are not desperate and you will wait for the right relationship to come along and if it doesn't you will be just fine.

That all the mistakes and stumbles along the way do help prepare you for the right relationship and helps you appreciate it even more.

To never take love for granted. Did that when I was young.

I am a worthy person.

Important things I learned from past relationships

Sometimes it is better to stay friends then let it go to the next level.

I will be fine with enough time to heal after a breakup.

The person who I was in a relationship in was important to me and always will be even if it is a bad break up.

I learned that I made someone else more important than myself and I drank over it. Wont do that again...however, I am ever so grateful for that Truth.

I learned I am unwilling to move across the country on uncertainties.

I learned I am stronger than I ever thought..and ended up doing things I didnt think I could handle.

I learned that I can love so well, and yet have loved so wrong. As Blade once said, my picker was broken and I needed to fix it.

I learned that I will never settle for being second in a relationship ever again.

I learned that I wont do exes in a relationship. Theirs or mine.

I learned that lies are obvious as long as I am not in denial.

I learned that no one can make me happy with myself but some sure can make me miserable about themselves...

I learned that having everything in common does not mean it's going to be a charmed relationship!

I learned that if one person shuts down the chance of communicating and fixing the relationship, then it is gone.

From past relationships, I have learned:

I am gay *regardless* of how my partner IDs - it does not alter me.
I am more open to trying new things than I thought I was.
Identifying as femme in no ways weakens me or makes me "less" than my partner.
I am strong.
I can enjoy be pampered without feeling like I should be doing something to deserve it.
Compromise and communication is important.

Most importantly: I am no one's bitch, and no one can walk on me or control me.

Yes that! I've only had one lesbian question my lesbian label. It was one of those topsy turvy situations where she couldn't see my point of view and I couldn't see why she couldn't see.

It eventually came out that she didn't see herself as 100% gay despite being in a lesbian relationship, so couldn't wrap her head around why I still did, despite being with a man.

It's important to hold onto your own ID, which is something I'd learned in a previous (abusive) relationship.

that I had/have work to do on myself.. that I will not tolerate the things I used to.

sometimes people just aren't ready and no amount of me being ready, willing, able, and overcompensating can make it work. being madly in love with someone (even when they claim to feel the same way) is no reason to settle for a situation where they are incapable of giving anything emotionally. even though it sucks and it's really not anyone's fault that it sucks.

The calm of being alone......

Make sure life changing decision arent made under emotional duress!

:yeahthat:

That what people say is never as important as what they do....watch their actions and priorities, and they will show you who they truly are better than their words ever will.

What I learned from Relationship...
 

I learned that I have a fearless heart and no matter how may times it gets torn apart I can mend it and open it again eventually. Actions speak louder than words. I learned to back up and look a situation objectively and not take everything personally. I learned to set my boundries within my relationships and still be sensitive to my partners needs. I learned to fight fair and never hit below the belt. Somethings you say just can't be taken back. I learned that it's OK to say..." I'll get back to you on that" giving you time to process. I learned It's very important to make time and stay present with you partner without distractions especially if she needs to vent. I learned not to solve her problems and just really listen to her, sometimes that's all she needs.
I learned not to blame myself if things don't workout.

STANDING OVATION! :danceparty:

STANDING OVATION! :danceparty:

when someone shows you who they are, believe them!!!

communicate----communicate----communicate

you don't have to have everything in common, but it certainly helps to have some things

respect each others differences and make compromises

above all, NEVER lose sight of who YOU are to try and keep someone....be true to yourself!!!

My lessons.
 

I thought that the happily ever after dream wasn't what Disney portrayed.
Sometimes the very best thing you can do for someone, is walk away for their own good.
Being in a great and healthy relationship, does not mean everything is always perfect.
That I am capable and strong enough to truly forgive.
That I can love deeply and can truly love with no reservations.
Love does not go hand in hand with happiness.
Sharing everything should be done slowly and carefully.
That if you ever find yourself thinking... "she can change".. then you are likely better off ending it.

That although happily ever after isn't Disney's portrayal, it can still happen

I've learned that every relationship (and everyone) until now has been a dress rehearsal. And just as important.

I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was, and become stronger every day.

I've learned who my true friends are--the ones who can understand what you're saying on the phone even when you can't stop crying.