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Random Memories
I remember in kindergarden, Mr. Maverick cut an earth worm in half in front of us in order to show us that both halves would live and they would be two separate worms. He did it with scissors while he had us gathered around to watch. I didn't look. I closed my eyes.
A week later, one half of the worm was still alive. The other had shriveled up and died. |
I remember sand spur and red ant hills and the smell of my grandmothers cat head biscuits. I remember all us kids racing home on our bikes, when we'd hear the "skeeter" truck coming, and we'd ride our bikes toward the sound of the ice cream mans truck coming. I remember those southern thunderstorms rolling across the sky, and sitting on the porch thinking how pretty the sky was all lit up. I remember catching bream, not big as a piece of fatback off of Pa's pier, eventually using a whole basket of crickets in a day and I remember standing on the banks of the river and catching a many crappie with my grandma. I remember laying in bed at night with the windows open and listening to the hounds baying off in the distance.
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I remember standing by the screen door looking out at the rain soaked yard and the dark clouds rolling overhead. It was a weird quiet as if something else was going to happen. My parents were there looking out the door at the damage of downed trees, limbs and powerlines. Years later I knew I lived through a hurricane. It might have been Camile. It was the first hurricane that I can remember.
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I remember the smell of wood burning in the fireplace and the pop and crackle as things settled. On occasion, blue flames would leap up as the critters who were unfortunate to be inside, ignited. One time, the lizard that was inside a log lept out of the fireplace, onto the floor and out the door. I felt proud of the little guy. I hope he made it.
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In fourth grade, my parents signed me and my brother up for ski lessons. Each Saturday morning for two months, we loaded into the mini-van with our gear and two closest neighborhood friends to meet at the local junior high. From there, we'd take school buses up to Snoqualmie Pass for the day. I wasn't a very good skier and my friend quickly decided she wanted to hang out with the older, public school girls. After our morning lessons, she'd go ski with them and I'd go off on my own exploring the lodge, walking around the ski area, and heading back to the bus early to eat my lunch and bide my time. One afternoon on the way home, we were invited to sit in the back of the bus with the older girls. My friend was so excited. I remember them asking me questions about things I had no idea about. They would laugh at me and ask more questions. I remember being confused and feeling as if they were speaking to me in another language. At one point, they asked if I knew what a virgin was. When I said I didn't, they mischievously told me to ask my mom when I got home. "You're embarrassing me," my friend said in the van when we got off the bus. I was hurt and angry she didn't stick up for me and retorted, "YOU'RE embarrassing ME!" Later, I did ask my mom what a virgin was. Together, we looked it up in the dictionary. I still didn't understand and shrugged it off. I didn't really care and I'm sure she was relieved I wasn't asking any further questions.
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I remember sitting down by the harbor at night with my best friend - just sitting there and talking, watching the heat lightning over the water.
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I remember going to the drive-in to see "The Poseiden Adventure"
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I remember that big mud puddle and how much fun we had tossing eachother around in it...til those creepy guys with the red solo cups started to cheer us on!
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I remember a party at my dad's and step-mom's. I was the only kid at the party, and although I haven't been able to smell irises as an adult, as a kid I was able to. That night, the air was full of the smell of irises in the night. I was the only kid, and the adults were beautiful and wild and cavalier. Colored lights were strung across the yard, and a hippie guy with a guitar sang music while we sat and lay in the grass. There was a drunk man trying to hoola-hoop, and a huge bag of chips with salsa. The smells of pot and cigarettes and incense mingled with that iris-smell. It was magical and it went late into the night. I was probably 6 or 7. It was low-key and warm, and I was free. The air was just warm enough and moist. A pretty woman was sitting next to me in the grass with long dark hair and big brown eyes. I remember asking her, as the night wore on and the laughter and singing got louder: "what if we are bothering the neighbors?" And she laughed and said, "They are free to come and enjoy the party instead of being bothered."
At home at my mom's, our neighbors had parties. Loud parties. I remember yelling from my window into their crowded driveway, "I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP! I HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!" To which they laughed. I grew up in two worlds. |
i remember the day my dad left....
i remember how mean my mom got after that... i remember the last time she hit me...i told her if she ever did that again...i'd kill her...i meant it and she knew it...i was 18yo...it scared the shit outta the both of us..... i remember realizing that i'm gay and the fear and disgust i felt... i remember my first love... <3 i remember when my life started getting better.... and now....i remember to be thankful and to pray....everyday... :) |
i remember....
breakfast in bed....
when i was little, sitting next to my dad, mom bringing us eggs, bacon, and toast...... he would squish up the eggs (over easy) and scoop up the yolks with the toast and feed me little bites with bacon on top..... i still eat my eggs like that |
Fishing with my grandpa up on the NID ditch in Nevada City CA the smell of his pipe tobacco how his strong hands were so comforting on mine teaching me how to cast
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i remember our first kiss...:love1:
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I just helped a young woman load my dining room table into her car. this piece of furniture was a hand me down from my parents and the table I grew up with in their home. out of everything I have sold/given away for this move, the table was the hardest to let go of. I will always remember 18+ years of family meals, and a solid, sturdy surface for homework and crafts. birthdays and holidays. game nights, learning how to put on makeup, weekend card making parties with my mom, discussing family matters and concerns. most recently it was a great place to pile clean and folded clothes. I don't get attached to many material items, but I am going to miss that table.
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I remember my first bike
my first bike wreck my first dog my first day at school my first day I drove to school my first real crush my first girlfriend my first hunting trip that I got to take a real gun my first camping trip, a bear visited us OMG! my first stitches my first car wreck my first job LBH's first steps AJB's first attempt at making a cake JBB's first arrest No everything can't be a joyous memory, but it is a memory just the same |
I remember being sent to Charm School at The Cinderella Shop when I was 11....my moms idea :| I'm still kinda charming when I wanna be :)
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I remember getting a green 3 speed bike for Christmas one year and my Daddy telling me over and over..."Don't leave your bike beside the road. Someone might steal it" Naturally, whenever they'd call me in for something, I'd leave the bike right where I was, cuz in my mind I was going right back out there to it. Well you guessed it, I woke up one morning and my bike was gone...stolen....or not....My Daddy raised hell for days about me leaving it beside the street, inviting someone to steel it.
Thing is to this day I still don't know if someone stole my bike or if Daddy had someone come get it. I was taught a lot of lessons this way so ya never know. Just wonder why anyone would want my green 3 speed bike when there must have been 20....5 speed and 10 speed bikes in the neighborhood. Not to mention go carts, dirt bikes and so on. Anyway you can trust and believe I never left another bike beside the street. Actually I don't remember when I got my next bike or even what it was. |
I remember thinking that I had the most beautiful mother in the world, I just got back from visiting her and I have to say, she is still the most beautiful mother in the world!
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I remember going out fishing with my father when the fish were literally trying to jump IN the boat.
We caught 112 flounder that day Cijs fish are not very bright |
I remember the way my Dad always smelled of cigarettes and cologne. His smile and the way this gorgeous blue eyes danced when he did. The way his arms felt when he used to hug me tight. His deep raspy quiet voice. How we always had Sunday night game night, because my mom worked third shift, so she would be napping, and him and I could have wrestling matches, wiffle ball games, bike races, etc. I remember the way he laughed, I remember dancing with my feet on top of his, I remember him teaching me how to play softball and that he was at Every game I ever played....I remember the day I came out to him (I was 16, and he was the only one I told until I was almost 30). And lastly, I remember and I can still hear him say "I love you Judge" (my nickname he gave me as a kid)....I miss him so much :rrose:
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I was reminded of this memory because the person I shared it with posted on Facebook that she was going to a lake...
It was a beautiful summer day. I was about 22/23 and I was with my first girlfriend who was femme (didn't know anything about butches yet), and we were in Nova Scotia. We hiked through the woods to a pretty lake. We got in a paddle boat and paddled out to the middle of the lake and got super high. And laughed and talked and then paddled back...which was hard because of our state and there was some wind and a bit of a current going in the wrong direction. It's a happy memory. **I don't partake in that mind altering activity anymore. |
I remember arguing with my Mom and my Nannie on Sunday mornings....yup you guessed it....about having to wear a dress to church....yes I won out eventually but not for MANY years. At first I could wear pants at night but they had to be dress pants of course. Then finally when I was about 17 or 18 I could wear dress pants Sunday morning.
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I also remember on Sunday's we always went to my Gigi's for Sunday dinner after church. Of course we took "play clothes" to change into. As we would leave the church parking lot I'd already have slipped into my jeans or shorts and taken off that dress and those God forsaken patent leather shoes, and into my PF Fliers or my boots, and be looking for my hat. All the while Mom saying, can you not wait til we get to Gigi's?
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I remember when I was little, before I could spell, being in the backseat of the car with other little children, my mom driving, and her friend getting in the passenger seat. My mom asked her why she was covered in bruises and she spelled out, "D-O-U-G" (her husband). My mom nodded. I was so curious what word that spelled but knew that I'd get in trouble if I asked so I just kept spelling it in my mind over and over for hours in order to remember so I could ask someone later what this secret and powerful word was. Later at home, when my mom wasn't around, I asked my dad casually, "What word does D-O-U-G spell?" He seemed to think for a moment, caught off guard, and then said, "It isn't a word." He was probably being genuine in his answer (or not). I remember feeling so disappointed. Had I not remembered the letters in the right order? How could that be? The letters by that point were stuck on repeat in my brain. It wasn't until I could spell that I finally put it together. Doug was the reason why my mom's friend always had bruises. By then it wasn't satisfying to know, just sad.
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The annual Love Feast at my Gramma's Dunkard Brethren church... the smell of homemade food and the Love Feast bread (a very special recipe handed down generations), the quiet ceremony and traditions, the respect of all the elders, family and fellowship, watching each member kneel down to wash the feet of the brother or sister church member, how that act was done so gently and tenderly, how they drank grape juice (no alcohol permitted) and broke the special bread after blessings, and how the air and comfort of the space seemed to fill with unspoken powerful feeling of belonging and calmness. ... how I miss those times with my Gramma.
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Riding my bike all over Norman without a worry. Hanging out and the park with my friends, jumping from the swings as far as we could. Racing to the Taste Freeze for a fresh squeezed cherry limeade with extra cherry. Trading marbles we bought from TG&Y and wishing I could go back and do this all over again.
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Syr and i chuckled while fishing today remembering the time we were all out fishing on the jetty only i was sent to get more Powerbait and two rainbow trout were put in my tackle box when i wasn't looking.
i returned, unsuspecting. Then was told to get something out of my tackle box. i opened it and two trout came flying out at me. i believe i wet myself. The butches thought that was hysterical. Oh hell it was funny! |
I remember when I was real little visiting my grandmother's farm in rural Alabama. She was making a cake and had run out of sugar so she sent me down to the barn, up the ladder and into the loft to get more sugar. You would not believe me if I told you how many bags of sugar were hidden under that hay. It wasn't until years later I figured out the old woman was running shine. (and I thought she told me to keep it a secret because she had a sweet tooth).
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I remember..
Snowmobiling across 100 acres of my great uncles land in Canandaigua and stopping atop the mountain that over looked Canandaigua Lake. It was dark out, and the lights reflecting over the water, rippling with it's subtle movements. It felt so high up above looking down, and though I was surrounded by snow I didn't feel cold at all. The night was quiet, there was nobody for miles all around me. A peace came over me and my mind drifted. All I could think about is how breathtaking a sight it was, and how amazing it would be to some day bring that special someone up there to share it with, at least one time. My uncle still owns that land, but I haven't been up there in a couple years. I never did get to bring that special girl of my dreams up there, maybe there's still time.
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i remember once while in my boat, back in the swamp of Louisiana (before Katrina, a defining moment) and i was so still that a momma otter came out and her babies were playing on the thick layer water hyacinths .... it was a moment that has stuck with me always.i miss those times sometimes.
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I remember chasing the sun across pastures, on horseback, as it rolled over the great land of home...
I remember our shetland Sheepdog, Tiny Tim, playing for hours with me as a young girl...he was so happy and frisky. I remember burying my baby dolls. In my mother's garden bed. I remember hating school. I loved the studies. I hated the cruelty of the other children. I remember having my first drink. I drank it because I was so unhappy. It became a theme for my drinking. I remember the day my brother committed suicide. In fact, everything after that became defined by it. I remember falling in love for the first time. And I remember falling in love each and every time. I wonder if love really does feel like the soft velvet of a rose petal...thats how it feels to me inside... I remember when my horse snapped her femur in half and had to be put down. I still get nauseous thinking of it.. I remember looking in doorways and smiling I remember being told the facts of life and thinking sperm jumped over the bellybuttons to get into the woman. My sister didnt tell the facts very well.., I remember holding my baby for the first time, after giving birth to her...I never saw anything so close to god before.. I remember the physically abusive relationship I was in for 7 years. I remember it was safer for me to be in it with him than it was for me to come out.... I remember coming out... I remember seeing my mother dead... I remember watching my father die... I remember seeing my front yard alit with thousands of dragonflies.... I remember dating a priest.... I remember being destitute I remember every insult against me. We all do. I can bet that those who delivered it do not... I remember christmases at my house when my daughter was young. I filled the house with traditions and family and it was the most joyful time of the year... I remember being a bulimic... I remember the taste of a good sweet apple in my mouth...god I love fall! I remember playing bingo with my parents as a young girl, in a bingo hall that was three stories high... I remember disco dancing... I remember sanitary napkins and tampons. Thank GOD for menopause! I remember learning about a new disease called ARC, later AIDS I remember paying $3000 for my first computer. I remember my first kiss... and my last... |
I remember growing up in Poughkeepsie, NY...I was younger than the 5th grade but older than the 3rd grade spent in a horrible place called Austinburgh, Ohio...We had just gotten back from 9 months of exile in Ohio with my father moving us to OH when the Fargo Corporation in NY laid him off...
Our first summer back at our childhood home that we seized from the squatters that lived there... My mom had planted a garden including the usual vegetables along with some not so usual veggies... In her eggplant patch she got up early one morning and tucked some white chicken eggs under the fruits of her labor...and told me that was where eggs came from. (I believed this until we moved back to Connecticut where I was born!) In the backyard under the apple trees (Mac's) there was a ring of mushrooms that formed a circle the size of half a kick-ball field...and she said that was a Fairy Ring...She went on to tell me that the fairies would come out to meet at night and sit atop the mushroom caps as they called their meeting to order. To this day I thank my mother for her ripe imagination, and I laugh with her as she laughs at my gullible soul. I don't even want to begin to tell you about the day we moved back to rural CT when I was only 12, or as I call that moment, "The day I learned where milk came from..." |
i remember...
my first bicycle my first pair of pantyhose my Little Hostess Buffet Jingle jumps when the Duncan yo-yo people came to our school every spring stealing Dad's handkerchiefs to make "parachutes" for Barbie Dad getting out the ladder to get Barbie off the roof Weekly Readers Scholastic Book Club orders Watching color tv for the first time... |
I'm loving this thread and would love for it to wake back up.... I'm too tired to think coherently and contribute properly lol
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I remember being 5 and only wanting to wear things with ruffles. Ruffled skirt, underwear, and socks. When we would go out to dinner, I would stand up in the middle of the restaurant and start singing whatever song my dad had just taught me. It would vary from the Beatles "Hey Jude", a Simon and Garfunkel song, Juan Luis Guerra, 50's doo wop..the list was endless. Imagine everyone's surprise when I belted out "Welcome to the Jungle" lol Yep, my mom did not know I was listening the one day she played it.
I still have such a love and appreciation for all music :) |
I remember looking forward to the tent revivals that our church would host. They always felt so good.:)
Duchess |
I remember
The rolling hills of the Qu'Appelle Valley. The drive down, to Buffalo Pound Lake and the cabin--
I remember summers spent with my grandparents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles! I remember summers spent running free, floating and cloud watching, following deer tracks up to the prairie floor. I remember feeling love, and laughter. I remember saying goodbye with my first cousins when our Grandma died, and we all flew back to Moose Jaw for the funeral. I, the eldest, bought everyone rubber rain boots, and we drove back to the lake from town, and trekked the hills of our childhood for the last time, to say goodbye the way we needed too. What a great thread! :) |
I remember climbing to the top of an eight foot wire mesh fence to rescue my cat. The cat was not stuck of course, but I soon was. 2½yrs old.
I remember falling off the arm of the sofa and breaking a guitar by landing on it. I've no idea who owned the guitar. No one in my family can play a musical instrument. I remember my first day of school. The teacher taught us how to raise our hands to answer questions by asking which breakfast cereal we liked. I remember being a fairy in the gala day parade. A float full of flower fairies. We all wore white sticky out dresses, frill edged net wings, white gloves and flowers in our hair. My mother made my dress and I loved it! It poured with rain all day and my dress was stained all the colours of the rainbow by the dye dripping from the thousands of soaked paper flowers. I remember falling off my bicycle and grazing my arm. I had to walk home because the front wheel was twisted. It was the height of summer and flies kept landing on the graze. I was convinced I'd be eaten alive from the inside by maggots. I remember picking wild flowers on the way to the cemetery to place on the graves of various family members. I remember trying to light the coal fire one freezing winters morning. We were out of kindling so I set fire to an old shoe. I remember my first day as a student nurse working on an actual hospital ward. My uniform only just fitted (pin stripped dress, starched apron and hat) and the ward sister mentioned something about hoping I wasn't a big eater since the canteen food was so good (big fat lie) I was so embarrassed that my uniform was soon hanging off me and I had to be fitted for a smaller size. I have been dieting pretty much continuously ever since. |
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