A newly dating/sex/corsets/butch appreciatin question
 

Hi, first post here. I am a 53yo femme, 5 months single after 11 year long and 8+ year sexless marriage (to a butch). I am overall doing GREAT, loving life again, loving myself again.

For the past two months I've been casually dating a total sweetheart butch who treats me like a queen, pampers me to no end, and in the past few weeks since we started being sexual (me for the first time in EIGHT YEARS), has totally rocked my world in bed.

I want to really show my appreciation, but I'm just not sure how.

She made a couple of little comments about liking lingerie, and I was thinking about showing up with a corset (custom made silk which I haven't worn in over 12 years) and stockings under my dress - she lives 100 miles away and I'm visiting for the weekend. FYI I don't actually have anything else that I'd consider sexy lingerie and I live in a rural area where there just isn't anyplace closeby where I could buy something classy and sexy in my size (16/18).

So here's my concern and question. I don't know for sure if she even likes corsets - are they pretty universally drool-producing, or is that an iffy choice? I'm also knocking up against some confidence issues - the last time I wore it I was maybe 41, and now I'm 53, and I'm a curvy (overweight) girl who has not totally escaped the perils of years and gravity, and at this point I'm generally a "low" femme and grandmother, not someone you'd immediately imagine in a corset.

So do I take the risk that it might produce a very awkward (and humiliating for me) moment? Or find a way to figure out if she likes corsets first?

Any other suggestions as to what sorts of things I could do as a treat and thank-you that would more likely be appreciated? I just don't know her well enough yet to know what she likes for sure, but I'd sure like to give back some of how she's made me feel!

Thanks for any advice you can give.

You only live once!
 

Go for it!!!!!!!

Oh sweetie!!

Please go for it! If your butch said she likes lingerie, a corset is the queen of lingerie!

Enjoy every curve of yourself because I promise you: your butch will:)

We are damn sight never too old for love or for a hot sex life!

First off...
Welcome to the Planet....

second...
If I were the butch in question, I would be thrilled to have you show up in you corset and stockings. It sounds like she is in to you, and if you have already had sex, then it would be completely appropriate to have a little "surprise" for her to show your appreciation...


if she is a sweet and attentive as you described, and has openly expressed an interest in sexy lingerie, then you need not worry about any awkward moments...

as far as the age and gravity, full figured mature women are HOTTTT!!!!! :blush:
so put on your sexy gear and RAGE ON SISTER!!!!

Speaking from the butch perspective...I believe this gesture will not only be apprciated greatly, but it will also get you enough sex to make up for those eight years!

I second or third the go for its

Work it girl!

Oooooo...sexy dress-up is fabulous fun!

Welcome to the site and have fun!

The re-kindling of one's sex life is a beautiful thing.

If someone were doing that for me.. I'd appreciate the hell out of it.

That being said.. if you are unsure, you could always put it on, take a picture of a very small part of it and send a message to your Butch saying something like is this what you had in mind? Nothing wrong with some good teasing.

That's just a thought anyway. If you wanted to totally surprise her... this scenario would not work.

I say go for it. If she appreciates you without it, she will also appreciate you with it.

i don't think it's universal. if it makes you uncomfortable, ask her what she likes. asking questions is a good thing, both ways.

Adventure Club
 

Dance-with-me, a romantic room, candles (lottsa battery operated tea lights are nice too) and you in whatever would be wonderful, because, you will have that self-confidence that you are worth every second of the mystique.

"Sexy is as sexy does" What makes a femme sexy, to me, is the way she carries herself. It's easy to spot and it is pretty awesome from across the room.



I have been with , Hmm, Anorexic to ample, youngish and mature (not all at the same time your honor :) . all of the above, in and out of corsets, garter belts, ....thigh high lacey nylons ~ All are a killer for me....and it is in our heads where the passion and acceptance live. :mohawk:

Yes. I agree , just do it if it feels good. If it doesn't , you can chalk it up to , getting out of the closet. ;)

Do it! Let me know if you need ideas on where to shop (online). I have a small (ok fine not small) collection of corsets that ranges from "jesus god why did I spend that much" to "really? it's only $50? I'll take one in every color". Nothing puts everything in all the right places quite like a corset.

We have a corsets thread.

I think it may be time to bump it and I think that I shall!

Pink, I would love to know where you got your "why did I spend so much" corset.

A corset allows us to defy gravity........the gravity of the world, time and the weight of apprehension. There is such sweetness in dressing to please a Butch who loves you; give this as a gift to yourself as well as your Butch. I wish you a very happy weekend!

Thank to all who replied! The deciding factor may end up being that I don't have anyone to help me get into it where the Butch lives (I have a friend who lives in the same city but she's not available tomorrow afternoon), and I'm not sure that driving two hours in a full corset is wise. :)

As for "dressing to please a Butch who loves you" - in this case, it's for the Butch who enjoys and lusts me, because we are a long way from getting serious. Does she have potential? So far, yes, but that's a LONG way in the future before I even seriously ask that question, and the likely outcome is that we're be no more than friends with benefits, since we live so far apart. But I'm seriously enjoying what we have in the moment, and there's still a LOT of pleasure in dressing to please the one who is making me feel so good about myself and making me feel so special!

Yes!! I'd love to get your suggestions - especially for the "really? only $50?" ones -- the one I have is in the "jesus god why did I spend that much?" range and that's from a lot of years ago - it would shock me to spend that much on any one clothing item even today, so many years later!

60 yr old butch here.......

Corset
garters
stockings

I'm there in a heartbeat........

I will say this........if you are going to wear it then own it. Confidence makes sexy much more than anything else.

Personally, I am attracted to 'age appropriate' femmes...........meaning femmes who are within 15-20 years of my age. I like what age and gravity does to a femme.......just as I hope she likes what age and gravity have done to my body.

The idea of a picture.....not revealing the entire thing....just a tease of what it is.....is not a bad idea. It will certainly get her imagination working....

For me butch/femme is an erotic dance and I love a femme who owns her body and her sexuality....actually for me that is part of what makes a femme

edited to add: if you don't do the corset............garters, stockings and one of my white shirts that hangs just to where the stockings and garters meet works too.....and you can easily accomplish that surprise when you go to the bathroom

welcome

If the corset feels good , do it.
If your too cinched up and can barely breathe , dont.

I think these are sexy :danglecarrot:
http://scene.barenecessities.com.edg...?$Main375x440$
http://www.barenecessities.com/seven...9282XB&search=
24 bucks

with a hint of black lace underneath


less is more
that's my vote
;)

Speaking as someone who loves ligerie, I say go for it! I think it's awesome that you came on here and made a thread to ask opinions and are wanting to please the lust outa your butch... btw hello and welcome to the Planet!! :D

PS. Corsets are freakin' hot as hell!! Just sayin'

Very good point.

Toughy is Varsity Butch !
 

Toughy has said everything I would've and everyone else has covered all the other relevant points. Please know this, your sexual confidence and strength will rock your Butch's world, guaranteed.

Sexual confidence in lingerie/corset with garter belt? --would make my head explode. *Butch Thud* (but the confidence is the key my dear....."act as if"....)

Have a great weekend--please come back next week and let us all know how it went!

A little wary to report my opinion here being a dude and all...
I think being honest and open about who you are and what you want is so important. If you are comfortable in the corset and enjoy it...then enjoy it.
It your partner has an issue with it...i'd be really surprized if they did.
But, if so, then you learn to be with someone who appreciates and likes what you like. I hope you do what you want and the butch likes it. Smile

I love this thread!

Dance,

You're already sexy girl, contemplating a corset! Whew! Can I just say, hot!

I'm almost 50, plus size and have lingerie, sexy/lace bra and panty sets and even a corset that I like to wear...for play or just for me, under my clothes. Why not? Who says you gotta save your sexy stuff for your partner...I wear my stuff when I feel sexy and undercover too...lol...why not? Yep, under my dresses, clothes, etc...sometimes, a little peep of knee covered in black fishnet in boots and a dress (weather permitting) it's cool/fun when someone notices all of a sudden there's a double take and a look that says wha?...lol...but what it does to your self confidence! lol...get creative!

Be you're sexy self all the time, Dance...and enjoy being you. I think you're awesome and gutsy and sexy! Go girl!

You're all great! Thanks so much! Just reading all your replies is getting my confidence. I didn't realize until I started dating again just how dowdy I'd gotten over the years - when you're married to someone who no desire to touch you for years, it takes a toll on your confidence, no matter how many excuses you make to yourself. But now? Sorry but screw that nonsense -- I'm totally worth it. ;)

A femme friend just introduced me to Torrid -- va va voom!! there's not one locally but there's one on the way - I think I'll be stopping there tomorrow afternoon to pick up a little something...

heehee

Problem is, I've only been to her house once and I have NO idea where she hangs her button shirts.

While it's true corsets and lace are very sexy, there is a LOT to be said for white cotton...

http://www.stardreamer.co.uk/images/PS09_c_01.jpg

Fetish!
 

I am a HUGE fan of pantaloon like cotton women's intimates..

Some time's simple is better...
look in the closet that would be my first guess... *just being helpful*
Better yet, how about a big RED bow?

Torrid is AWESOME!

Me toooo!! Well, not directly for me but for me to see on her :) The lingerie too lol... although to read it on my previous post, one might think I meant for me... nah... for her... but for my enjoyment of viewing also... for sure!!

Plain and simple is absolutely sexy hot too... Not always does a lady have to be sinched up and bound... but it sure is nice here and there and in between!!

Yes the plain and simple... I like!! :eyebrow:

Just do it!
*Dances around her living room*

I have been looking at pretty bras for the last hour? I'm supportive,
like that... snort
this one is at Torrid

http://img.hottopic.com/is/image/Hot...0,0&iccEmbed=0

i am way more comfortable in white cotton intimates and luckily Syr
Likes them too !

i wish i were more comfy in silky things ..

Go for it !!

My absolute favorite nightgowns are the tissue-thin hand-smocked white cotton gowns that I inherited from my beloved Granny. My ex of course never appreciated them, but I am highly titillated at the idea of some hot butch finding it a total turn-on to see me in my Granny's nighties!

How sweet !!!! i soooo love cotton frocks!

my partner would love that so you never know !