What do you want?
 

Seems like people have a fairly good grasp on what they don't want but often times fail to address the things they really do want in a partner and/or relationship.

Think about it, put it out there - what DO you want?

Nice SF. Wouldn't it be grand that no one should ever need to start off a list of "want" with two things that should be standard - trust and loyalty.

Great. Now I have that dang I Want A Hero song in my head.

Sounds great otherwise.

The thing is this. I have falsely assumed that I had those things. Until it became glaringly clear that I didn't. I have never in my life felt so *safe* (in a non boring way) before I married Cal (Plato on this site).

I have also forged friendships amongst Femmes that make me feel equally safe. I cherish that. Having people travel across the country whilst I am in the ICU rambling feverishly at them about utterly non-sensical things restored my faith in Femme Alliances that I needed/wanted but was scared to death of after walking away from psuedo friendships that left scars so deep I thought I'd never let another penetrate. Loyalty and Trust are oft espoused by people in theory, but in practice the selfish "what's in it for me?" mode seems to win out.

I married somebody who knows my quirks, past history, familial strife and doesn't judge me. Instead this person is my rock and my anchor. We are a team. Silly perhaps, but I've not had that before. I cherish it.

I think you may be right about Gryph and Ryan being cut from the same cloth. :awww:

This morning I was thinking about my past pursuits in finding a relationship. I don't really look, per se but I do open myself up to it. In the past I'd post these lengthy online personals and when ask what I wanted I's have this long list.

I've learned over the years that no matter your list there are always exceptions to the rule and your needs change based on circumstances. I know that what I want today is different then what I thought I wanted 5 years ago.

We all want honesty, trust and loyalty. They shouldn't even have to go in a list. Funny how often we all put them there any way.

I'm a little torn right now. On one had I want to open myself up to the universe and let whatever happens happen. To trust that if I love myself, trust that they best circumstance will happen that the right partner will come into my life.

On the other hand maybe I should be more proactive and constructive with finding a partner. That if I want to manifest this reality I need to know exactly what I'm asking for but can I really do this? Do I even know what i really want? lol

I am an attractive woman- strong, independent, intelligent, articulate and a loyal partner. I think there are many of us here with these same qualities. I often wonder why so many are single. I know its not easy when you're a subculture within a subculture- BF, but damn, it just seems like the biggest mountain, at least for me.

- Someone who no matter how busy their live is, makes time for me in some way or another
- Honesty and respect
- Someone who realize that "success" doesn't always have to have a monetary value.

I wish my most recent ex could have realized that. :(

This says it all

http://youtu.be/05qcA4KPI0k

ok a year later and a lot wiser...

I want an intelligent, conscious human being who knows who they are without getting caught up in labels. Someone that enjoys the dynamic and makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. Someone that LOVES gardening and cooking. Someone's who's idea of a perfect day is sitting on the porch watching our fur babies play, watching and teaching grandkids about life. Someone that doesn't have to think about doing the right thing.. it just happens. Someone who wants to work at being healthy and strong enough to spend the rest of our golden years together.

I want trust, honor, loyalty, honesty, intellegence and laughter.

I want someone who sees me for who I am... beautiful, ugly, strong, weak.. Might not like all of me, but loves all of me and wouldn't change a thing.

I want conversations that last for days
I want to like someone so much that I have to go find them if I haven't seen them in twenty mins, just to see their face and say hi...
I want someone secure enought to know that one day I will miss them and then the next day tell them to go away...

I want the security of knowing that if I'm alive in twenty years, they are going to be charging up my rascal and finding my other shoe...

I got lucky... or did I? Did I luck out or did I say what I wanted and get it?

wants someone who loves cuddling as much as I do

In my journey to find the love of my life. (And yes, i'm still searching.) I have noticed that I want trust. I want us to keep no secrets from each other, as honesty creates some stability. I want her to be able to look at my flaws, and i look at hers and know the person hiding behind this wall of them is the person that is who they are in love with. Also, I want someone real. I've had way to many girls use me as a pawn in their game, or they were just fake. I want someone who has true emotions, and when she says them, it's what she really feels, and it's not a script. I want someone who is going to love me uncondtionally and love me for who I am. I refuse to be someone's mold. And, whenever possible and just when they need me to, I want to be their hero.

I want someone that can be with me just as I am, and not even think about wanting me to change one thing.

What I want.
 

southern accents and porch swings.....two of the finer things in life!

I knew I forgot something on my list! I also want someone with good taste ;)

great taste and southern charm also important!

There's a lot to be said for a good southern romancin'

Yummmy, Sweet Tea!! Southern Sweet that is, the color of molasses now thats good drinkin! I am always teased about my accent! My porch swing is 60 yrs old, my grandfather made it when he and my grandmother were married for their first home. Only thing even close to a porch swing is a hammock!

Now if I had a sweetie to enjoy it with, I would be in there!

I feel the same way. I think we all change as we get older as to how much we are willing to tolerate, expect in a person or desire in a partner. I have had to come to terms with how much I gave back as a partner and sadly it often wasnt enough and the reasons for at least two breakups. It's hard to be honest with yourself, but necessary if you intend to keep moving forward.

Ah, yes I just changed that today. I thought that I was going to be seeing someone. However, it was another savior type, that decided to make it official that I would have to walk away from my job of course, and Im just not made that way. Take me as I am or not at all.

lol true! If not soon, I will have to take a refresher course! Na... femmes never forget!