Natural Beauty
 

My hair is very dark and straight. I've always worn it past my waist and jet black. Now that I'm older with lots of gray I cut it just past my shoulders and lightened it. Anyhow, I'm thinking about letting it all just go natural and grow out.

I think I look a lot younger then I am. Or at least people tell me this and I have no wrinkles. I'm not so much concerned about how old I look but I would like to meet someone one day and of course I'm curious...

Do you think a woman with salt and pepper or gray hair is sexy?
also do you think natural. no makeup etc is sexy?

Thanks

Hell yes.
What's sexy is not what color the hair is, or what someone wears upon their face.
For me, sexy is...Do you own it? And do you know that you do?

Sexy is a TOTAL inside job!! Personally, I think if you feelin' it...you're DOIN' it!! ;)

I'll bet you'll be so hot you'll sizzle~!! :)

skeet

Hey, Sachita, you should probably clarify that this is a femme only thread, so you don't have butches adding their two cents! :-)

It totally depends on the woman. Some women look fierce and beautiful with grey hair and for others it's not flattering. To me it always depends on the individual.

In my opinion grey hair does make people look older, and I think makeup adds a glow , and brings out your eyes.

:getout: :byebye:

If ur sexy and u know shake ur booty ( l ). if ur sexy and u know it and u really want to show it ~~ if ur sexy and u know it shake ur booty ( l ) ~~~

I agree it is a feeling and what you feel is sexy for yourself and not others although when my mom started going grey I remember she cut her hair off and colored everything but the front bangs. I remember thinking "My mom is a skunk"
For me now that the grey is coming in I noticed it all depends on the lighing when I look in a mirror. Bright lights at my work shows me so much grey but the lights at home I barely notice it.
I also kept my hair long but mine is very wavy so I went in the other day thinking I should cut it off and color it but the hair stylist told me no that it would all frizz and the waves would be curls. So I just got it trimmed. I wonder how old you are to be when you get that short cut that you see so many get?

Imho I think a lady who knows who she is, is the sexiest thing in thw world.

I personally don't think hair color or makeup can make a lady. Now I do believe if u do the Tammy Faye Baker makeup for everyday wear I may have an issue if we were dating.

My girl doesn't wear makeup and she is the sexiest lady ever. She has natural beauty the NO amount of makeup can enhance.

Whomever u start dating later should want to b with u NO matter ur hair color if u wear makeup or not. They should want to b with who u r when those things rnt available just my .02 worth

As a natural red head my white comes in fast, and has been coming in fast my entire life. So I get a few highlights, but I refuse to cover up all the white. I'm 40, not 20.. it's okay if I have white hair here and there. But I do get a bit 'old' feeling when it's been 6 mo from a highlight.

I also feel like makeup should be used to enhance, not cover.

As others have said it's all about the confidence, if you know you are sexy? Everyone else will know it too.

Sexy is a presence - a state of mind - (not) arrogance per se - but just - rather - self assurance - confidence - sexy is how you present yourself (and) how you treat and respect that (certain) someone... (just my opinion of course). And nothing could be sexier - than (you) being you...yes (natural).

THoughts
 

I could go on and on about the ridiculous standards which are sexist that are put on *beauty* and the ridiculous expectations of how women should look. It's outrageous to believe that a woman's beauty only comes or she is beautiful as long as she looks like she rolled out of bed looking like she just did a photo shoot for Vogue. I say if you want to try out your grey DO IT!! You can always make the choice to dye it or not.


>LINKYLOO<


"And I'm certainly not one myself. I don't wear a lot of makeup — I favor the "natural" look — and I don't always wear makeup, but I'm honest enough to tell you that when I do wear it, it is not my "choice." I wear it because a lifetime of being a woman and of bearing the fusillade of advertising and Hollywood and fashion imagery — when was the last time you saw a woman not wearing makeup on a billboard or on T.V.? — has left me with no illusions about the fact that makeup is, for women, considered standard in 21st Century America. A certain amount of makeup is "good grooming." It's the default. As women, we don't have the choice to engage with the beauty industrial complex: it's so ever-present in our lives that women who don't wear makeup are commonly taken as defining themselves against it. To not wear makeup, for many women, is to invite misunderstanding or, worse, judgment."


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>linkyloo<



Have fun experimenting...

I think confidence is sexy - it's not about what you look like or what you do or don't do with your hair/face/fashion. Be unashamedly confident in whatever look you choose to rock and THAT will rock someone's world.

That being said, Coco Chanel said there are no ugly women, just lazy ones. I think that when you choose to go 'natural' you should still be very well 'groomed'!

Da Kitten :)

Thoughts on Coco Chanel
 

Coco Chanel is very priveleged and oblivious to the FACT that some women can't AFFORD beauty products nor can ALL women just pull up their hair back in a pony tail with ease.


It's stuff like this that leads women to fall into the sexist expectations of what woman is...

I don't think Chanel's point was misguided, Lady Snow, nor do I think good grooming has to be expensive, or that it's sexist. I think men should be well-groomed as well.

It's possible that I have a different perspective due to being born in Germany and raised by a German mother and a Military father, but I often look at American women and wonder why they dress so sloppy. Everyone is entitled to do what they feel is right for them, of course! And my choices aren't 'right' for everyone :) It's a free country!

It is indeed a free country for some...
 

Grooming to some people is expensive Ms Kitten, and it is sexist, it may not be so to you, unfortunately it is. There are people from all gender spectrums that can't afford product nor do they have access to make themselves *presentable* according to standard that society deems acceptable. It's also a fact that Coco Chanel comes from a life of privelge and perhaps she isn't self aware of that privelege.


As for different perspectives... My mother isn't American and my Father is a retired military man, so I get the idea of looking neat. I am a fan of neat, but I am also aware that not everyone has the same priviledges when it comes to *grooming*, dressing, make up, beauty products as I do. I also keep in mind that my skin color, hair texture, body shape aren't standard Coco Chanel likings and that other POC like myself don't have access to all these things like most of us here do.


That was really my point about Coco Chanel's delusional, white, priveledge thinking. That's why I let you know ahead of time that I was piggy backing off her quote.

:)

Thanks for the dialogue

my head turns when I see a silver haired femme or butch walk past. I find them extremely attractive and their life-intensity shows in their bravado to go silver. My eyes curve over their skin, and relish all the life-river type paths their wrinkles lead. If I can catch their eye, I will smile to beckon a showing of their crone/crows feet around their eyes as they smile back. The coolness of their skin warms suddenly under mine if we get to greet and shake hands. I am jolted with arousal from silver ones...always have been. Even now that I am as silver under my black, I find the connection honestly.

I colour my own hair because I do look a good decade or two older when it is not dyed. I did not think so until I coloured it and put photos side by side and saw what others had told me. I have gone silver on and off in my life. Sometimes because I will it, and sometimes, as Snow says, grooming is an expense and there have been times I barely had money for shampoo let alone colouring. I do a poor job myself and always end up with darker ends eventually. Since I still cant afford to go to a stylist to colour my hair, I have resorted to the practicality of dying my hair black. There are no darker ends when its all black. LOL

chrissy dyes his hair..it use to be jet black and the silver would look lovely but he is as femme as they come and struggles already with all the barriers he has to deal with the express that femininity. So he colours his hair. I love him either way.

Sachita, I picture you are a fierce grey haired Athena warrrior. But to each his own...do what you feel comfortable with. And, just so you know, if you go grey, you can always go back. When I wanted to start over in either direction, I would just shave my head. My hair is a wonderful fun element of myself...and I can grow it back..no matter what!

For way too many years I was in that whole trap thinking I had to be dressed or be a certain way to be desired. Way to many. I was my own damn contradiction because I played the game and then talked about how free I was as a woman. I wasn't really free.

Now I am REALLY free. I still have a few issues to work on but I am far removed from most standards- thank goodness!

I'm not sure I even want to be sexy per se. I want to be beautiful. The damn package beautiful. When someone looks at me that are enthralled with the woman I am no matter the color of my hair or the size of my ass.

I look at these messages on facebook from the 30 something crowd, mostly on Mia's mothers wall and I just shake my head. I'm so glad that all is behind me.

Thank you all for your replies. I'm going to hate the growing out phase and hope I can hold out. Who know.. I may show up at the reunion with my salt and pepper sporting my levi's and cowboy boots. Yeehaw

wow thats such good info! I love her!

Hmm.
 

Hmm. Funny in that ironic way that she doesn't get it then. Her coming from such a background should of opened her eyes to tge oppression of women. I don't think shed be who she was had she been born with darker skin.

That was really the point about "beauty products" and standards they have A LOT of ism's attached to them:)

I think the whole industry is fucked up. I think between the media and the patriarchal attitudes forced on us many many moons ago have devalued women. Many of us fell and still fall in that trap. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with wanting to dress pretty and buy nice things. It's when you feel you have no beauty or value without it. Its when our sons can only see big tits, big hair and name brand jeans. Our whole fucking perception of beauty is distorted.

But I can change that for me today. I can start to live my life differently and hopefully teach my granddaughter the things no one taught me.

Well said, Sachita!! (and I love your quote, btw!)

I think she does get, it, though, Lady Snow... I wonder if you have a different idea about her quote than I do? While I didn't know Chanel and never had the chance to ask her about it, my perception of it is that she was being very inclusive and accepting of ALL beauties... and simply saying that EVERY woman is beautiful, and if she's not, it's because she's just not taking "care" of herself. I'm a huge fan of taking care of yourself.... but I'm not a huge proponent of expensive cosmetics or beauty regimes...I don't really use them and don't think they are necessary.. but why not take a little 'care' of yourself!

Thoughts
 

Ms Kitten, some folks can't. It's not because they wouldn't love to be able to or because they are lazy or American.


They just can't be it for economic reasons or other reasons.

::hugz:: Snow - well thank you for widening my perspective. I'll be givin' that some thought!

Da Kitten :)

I use to spend so much money on make-up, creams, you name it. I still buy a little make-up and even wear a very little now and then. I don't think you have to spend a lot to be pretty. Not at all.

I honestly did not struggle with the decision to let my gray hair be. I am 43, almost 44 and I have very dark, almost black hair. I have just gotten grays in the last 3 years or so, and they are silver, and pretty. Age catches us all so why not embrace it and age gracefully?

I also have found myself greatly downsizing on makeup. I prefer natural looks to over made up look. I don't wear any to work, but on weekends I sometimes do put it on, it makes me feel feminine. I am sure this is do to social conditioning. My eyes are really dark and adding more stuff to them just makes me look as if I have dark circles usually so I leave it at mascara and a bit of eyeliner or shadow. I just want to have a quick grooming routine now. In the Summer, I really don't wear any, but in the wWinter, I feel kinda pale and wan so I do it to perk up my complexion.

Also, I don't know other Femmes experiences, but the Butches I have always dated have liked the 'natural look' and were not into their girls wearing tons of stuff on their faces. It suited me just fine.

Salt and pepper hair is very sexy, in my opinion. I can understand the desire to color it though. To each their own. I've never been one to think a heavily made-up look is attractive though or that Botox should even be considered. Some of those filler/surgical procedures scare me and they seem to make the person who got them look worse, not better.

Definitely!
I love long grey hair. I also like aged faces with smile wrinkles and crow's-feet! So beautiful, a life story written on skin.
I'm looking forward to growing old. :)

And natural is pretty as well. I'm not wearing make up everyday.

The older I have gotten the more secure and confident in myself I have become, and my "go fuck yourselves if you don't like it" attitude has won out over what society thinks I should look like.

I come from a long line of women whose mantra was "you don't go out in public unless you're made-up and dressed properly" which can really mess with a young girls head.

When I go grey (52 and still mostly brown), I will go grey...I am not going to do my roots, and worry about looking younger than I am. **my personal style, not judging anyone else**

As far as make-up goes, I wear what I wear because I FEEL good in a bit of eye make-up...my Kasey would rather I didn't wear any, but it's my face and I'll do as I please.

I think everyone should do what makes them feel good, because therein is the key to feeling your confident best. IMO lol

I agree that it depends in your skin tone and how it plays against the gray. I personally don't have the coloring for it, it washes me out. Others look better with gray. I think there is a huge difference between buying into social standards for beauty and truly shinning your most beautiful self. Taking care of our bodies and expressing our vision of beauty is fun and speaks of self love and self respect. In my mind buying into social norms about beauty comes form a place inside ourselves where we believe we are not good enough being who we are. That we must make ourselves easier to like or love. The motivation comes from a sense of lacking. Owning our own style and vision of beauty comes from a place of self empowerment.

There are natural ways to color your hair, that improve your hairs health. You can get blond with Cassia, brunette and black mixing Henna and Indigo and beautiful shades of red and Auburn with Henna. There is an art and procedure to mixing the herbs to get the color you want, this website is full of info and sells really good quality products. www.mehandi.com

Natural dyes don't lighten hair so going over gray give you lots of choices. I love the Raven black you can get with mixing Indigo with Henna, it's stunning and there is no chemical yucky-ness to deal with.

I have naturally brown hair (i don't like it) and I dye it red every... 2 weeks. I can't stand the brown sneaking in, so i can't imagine what i'm gonna do when my hair goes gray.

Reading here reminded me of something I wish to share ... just a lil info tidbit

If one does not have the money to buy CoCo Mademoiselle, I know some places give free samples at perfume counters. You have to ask for them. They come in little tin packets and contain enough to use several times.

I don't wear it but have an ex who does.