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Shit My Friends Say
This thread is for that random stupidity that you hear at 1am at your friends' house when you have been up far too late.
Drunk posting encouraged but not required. |
Is THIS where I talk about the "ice thing"? :shocking::shocking:
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OMG, we should so stick that in the freezer and make an ice.....thing. :|
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If I strap this on, it tells me my heart rate?
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OOOH! I can check my heart rate when I poop.
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Quote:
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You (me) are totally neurotic! :thud:
:eating: Last time I invite her over for dinner! |
Are you two talking about renting a femme?
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"Well, isn't that the cat calling the peddle black!"
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"Dear GOD, it's a 'Billy the Exterminator' marathon!"
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Quote:
*shrug* |
"Dude, you are totally on my top 5 do-able list.....well, if I was into butches and shit". :boink:
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just funny
"They fumble with that thing form the time they are born until the day they die, they just can't help it".
~Grandma~ |
"Whatever" a dismissive phrase and I can't stand hearing it.:censor:
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"Okay, he's really cute and I like him and everything, but I don't have to tell him I'm still married, do I? He could be The One!"
:blink: :wtf: |
I over herd a young butch sayin while at the local sex toy store to another young pup...I wonder how long I should get this thingamajig.Thought I thought I would choke on my bubble gum.
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this seems like a good place for a long standing favorite
"Glitter is the herpes of crafts."
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Dial-a-Dom :superfunny:
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Quote:
Try: "Glitter is the H1N1 of crafts." |
"they take that thing in their hand, and boy, they're gonna rule the world"
~Gramma~ (at 92, she just kinda throws it out there) |
Not MY friend.. but a friend of my sister..
Him: Oh, you went to New York City? That's where the Entire State building is! Me: Yep. The whole thing. |
(one co-worker's response to another co-worker's remark)
That's not true! It's not posted on Facebook, so it can't be true! |
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"He broke up with me because of the situation with me and X!" *insert befuddled look and lip quiver* "What should I do????" :blink: Seriously, I'm too old for this shit. |
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"He says he's a vegetarian. The only thing he eats is pizza. He's no fucking vegetarian, he's a pizzatarian."
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This guy at work told me a story about one of his friends who was to be admitted into the hospital. A friend of hers was helping her fill out her proxy forms and got to the section where it asks for your religion:
Friend: "... religion?' Soon-to-be-patient: "uum ... vegan." (Seems to be a veggie kind of day today....) |
".... tell Sharon that there isn't a gold plated bathtub, but the Archbishop's toilet bowl handle is quite plush ...."
(three second pause) "....oh, excuse me your Archbishop-ness, you scared the hell out of me...." -- one of my co-workers recording the conditions of the Archbishop's living quarters (I guess having hell scared out of you is another ticket option to heaven, eh?) |
"So, um, Gemme....if you are ever running from the cops...which I don't recommend, but if you are running from the cops....don't let the dogs get you. That shit hurts! It felt like it {canine officer} was tearing my leg off."
Yeah, um, I was considering it, but now that you say that....I guess I won't. :blink: |
I've been knowing them.
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A good friend late night at a pub:
"Yer like this vase, that my mother had way up high on a shelf... and we weren't allowed to touch it... I just wanted to touch it, that's all..." |
Just overheard:
Niceguy to Wolfy: "...Maybe it's because you look a little Gay..." :| |
After viewing this link: http://pooandweesong.com/
Niceguy: "....and there's pee coming down!" a few minutes later: "They look like brown pickles". Wolfy: :| Niceguy: "Or really skinny potatoes..." |
Quote:
:goodluck: |
Me:<inset dramatic unforgetable speech that I forgot>
Friend:Im goin to have to completely diagree to DISAGREE!!! <insert confukled look> |
*While eating Lemon Icebox Pie Ice Cream
Niceguy: "This is just not right." Me: "What do you mean?" Niceguy: "This ice cream, it isn't right. Ice cream that tastes exactly like something else? That isnt right..." *Pause* Niceguy:"......This is going to cause Cancer or something...." |
A friend of mine was telling a story about why he broke up with his ex....
"I wonder why they call them 18 wheelers?" |
Bumping this thread.
We're going to need it for the Reunion, I'm sure. :| |
I was on fire tonight. That's all I'm going to say about that. :blink:
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dumb babies.
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